How soon is too soon?

[Vic Kosslovich]

How soon is too soon to tell a provider about a fantasy you want to act out? Do you need to see the provider a few times? Do you tell them about it after you schedule but before the actual appointment? It seems like this is the kind of thing that a provider could look at as "going too far" when you first meet them.

To come clean.... I've had this recurring dream about a young lady that I know in another city. I've had it a number of times and sometime it frankly wakes me out of a sound sleep. This is never going to happen with the woman in question because:

a. She is happily married

b. She was a good friend of my late wife.

So even if she said yes, it would be weird for me.

I was thinking about finding a provider who had similar looks and then acting this out to see if it would "cure" me. But I'm a bit stumped about when I should reveal this little fantasy.

Your thoughts and ideas are appreciated.

Vic

[MAG]

How soon is too soon to tell a provider about a fantasy you want to act out? Do you need to see the provider a few times? Do you tell them about it after you schedule but before the actual appointment? It seems like this is the kind of thing that a provider could look at as "going too far" when you first meet them.

To come clean.... I've had this recurring dream about a young lady that I know in another city. I've had it a number of times and sometime it frankly wakes me out of a sound sleep. This is never going to happen with the woman in question because:

a. She is happily married

b. She was a good friend of my late wife.

So even if she said yes, it would be weird for me.

I was thinking about finding a provider who had similar looks and then acting this out to see if it would "cure" me. But I'm a bit stumped about when I should reveal this little fantasy.

Your thoughts and ideas are appreciated.

Vic

Even if you find a provider who meets your criteria, it may prove to be unfulfilling. Sometimes fantasies are pleasurable BECAUSE we can't access them.

Spock (star trek) said it best: "having" is not quite so pleasing a thing as "wanting". It is not logical, but it is often true.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[macho]

Even if you find a provider who meets your criteria, it may prove to be unfulfilling. Sometimes fantasies are pleasurable BECAUSE we can't access them.

Spock (star trek) said it best: "having" is not quite so pleasing a thing as "wanting". It is not logical, but it is often true.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I don't understand your logic. Anyways it's your dream act it out make Martin Luther proud. Only though if your dream is not fucked up.

[Audrey Astor]

This has worked well for me after a few meetings and becoming comfortable with each other. Have fun!

[urfan]

hey Vic, interesting post there.

you're wise to keep the obsession out of the 'real' world and keep it in escort 'fantasy' territory. finding a similar looking surrogate solves the dilemma while allowing yourself to act it out. find someone you click with, first of all, and then play it by ear. escorts are used to fielding all sorts of off-beat requests that wouldn't fly in the civilian world and most gals in the biz have a much higher level of acceptance.

honestly, it may just come down to as random a thing as her mood at the time of the session and her personal comfort level to be down with whatever it is you have in mind.

[Guest Mr. X]

hey Vic, interesting post there.

you're wise to keep the obsession out of the 'real' world and keep it in escort 'fantasy' territory. finding a similar looking surrogate solves the dilemma while allowing yourself to act it out. find someone you click with, first of all, and then play it by ear. escorts are used to fielding all sorts of off-beat requests that wouldn't fly in the civilian world and most gals in the biz have a much higher level of acceptance.

honestly, it may just come down to as random a thing as her mood at the time of the session and her personal comfort level to be down with whatever it is you have in mind.

^^^This^^^

Well done urfan.

[Blue-eyedTraveler]

Vic,

I've discovered that unless it involves fire, blood or feces, you can usually find somebody to role play in the hobby. IRL (in real life), there actually are people who play with blood, fire and feces. Go figure.

For all the fun I've had with providers and role playing, my most spectacular role play session -- and it was beyond ANYTHING I could have imagined -- came via alt.com. The amazing thing was that it was free, and I think the fact that this was entirely about the fantasy -- with no financial psychological interference -- made it especially thrilling and fulfilling. But that might be just me.

I have a feeling that until you act this out, it's going to nag at you and keep you wondering. Good luck.

[Mustang87]

I disagree with some of the posts. I've had some luck with acting out fantasies with ASPs. I wouldn't try on the first encounter however. Find someone who reminds you of the women in your fantasy, preferably someone well reviewed and book a regular appt. If things go well and you have a little bit of chemistry, bring up the fantasy towards the end of the session and ask if she'd be open to it in a future session. Book it on the spot if it feels right.

If your like me, once you get that itch, at some point you gotta scratch in.

As always, be careful and safe.

[N6_in_the_village]

Here's my idea (keep in mind, "free advice is worth at least what you paid for it" ):

If I understand this correctly, you are describing a fantasy that depends on a complex set of personal relationships, and your ideas or fantasies about this "other woman". The escort you choose might not be a good enough actress to role play at this level, so the result would be disappointing. In other words, you need to select the escort for acting skills (based on reviews or recommendations, I guess) as well as looks.

In addition, when describing the fantasy to the escort, minimize any disclosure of "personally identifying information" - i.e., don't even mention the actual city where your fantasy GF (or anyone else involved) lives now.

[frankenthaler91]

If your fantasy is just to have sex with this women, find an ASP that looks like her and have fun.

I had this situation a couple years ago. Saw this lady when ever I entered a certain business. There is an ASP in Denver that looks a lot like her, but much shorter. I had a wonderful time. I did disclose this midway through our time together. She was felt honored to be apart of my fantasy.

Like mentioned, if there is some intricate role play thing along with looks, you will likely need to have at least 1 meeting before you can tell if she is up for the roll play.

I've told this story before also. No SO has ever given me a BJ while I was shaving. I mentioned this to a ATF of mine. Asking her if I could shower at her place after doing yard work at my mothers house. She was happy to "distract" me while I was shaving.

Anything is possible in this little fantasy land. Depending on what it is and how complex it is.

[Happymon]

I believe that the answer to your question is content agnostic. After finding your "friend's wife" (who "enjoys role-play; yes, Mr Search is our also our friend) and upon conclusion of your first great session (no 15 minute hummers here unless that's part of your fantasy:D), express your desire to have a return engagement, but that you've had a long-time fantasy and you wonder if she's interested in helping you act it out. Either she's in or not.

Who knows whether your fantasy will fade away. Some of mine have been one and done while others evolve. What would you like it to do? Surprisingly, you can be in charge of that too.

Don't over-complicate this.

[Vic Kosslovich]

Thank you for all of your responses. It's interesting how things are interpreted if they aren't spelled out. For clarification purposes only I never gave this woman a second thought until these dreams started. So it's not like I've had this long term desire for her. The dreams in question are erotic, but certainly don't involve blood, feces, small animals or anything else TOO much out of the ordinary.

I do think this involves some role play because the dreams always follow the same pattern. So the provider would have to be up to at least the spirit of the role play, but not memorizing every word in my dream!

From the responses received it seems like I need to identify the right provider, spend a few sessions with her and then let her know about my fantasy. That's pretty much what I was after. I'd kind of like to make this a "one and done" deal but that's probably going to come across to the provider as a little odd, maybe intrusive and probably suspicious.

Thanks for all the feedback.

Vic