Sex after Prostrate surgery

[lakelovernaz]

I have been fighting various cancers for awhile now. The latest is prostrate. Because I am young they want to remove it. Anyone know what kind of sex life I can expect afterwards? Or should I try to wear it out prior to the surgery?

[inkspot]

Instead of radical surgery, have you considered seed implants? The results are similar with less trauma and a better chance the plumbing will still work.

The results after radical surgery depend greatly on the skill of the surgeon to spare the nerves associated with the surgery. Should you decide on the radical approach, approach your sex life with gusto now. There will not be much later even if you use enhancers.

Sorry for your misfortune. This is really sad. Take care and I hope things are better for you.

[Guest Jake]

I have a friend who's had it done...and one that's doing it this weekend. From what I've been told...it's not impossible, but there are no guarantees. The doctors seem to understand the importance of sexual health, and take "getting you back on track" very seriously. Unfortunately...ED meds are probably going to be a necessity from here on out.

Sex, as you've know it, may not be a realistic expectation afterwards, but there should still be ways for you to enjoy it. Keep a positive outlook and an open mind. Good luck man!!!

I have been fighting various cancers for awhile now. The latest is prostrate. Because I am young they want to remove it. Anyone know what kind of sex life I can expect afterwards? Or should I try to wear it out prior to the surgery?

[Guest sexymaid]

Do all the research you can. One of my favorite friends did the seed implant and is a bedroom rockstar. There is hope, just know all your options. Feel free to try and wear it out ahead of time I wish you a speedy and thorough recovery

[kusanku]

It is possible to treat "prostate" cancer in a variety of ways, including surgery. Even with surgery, there are multiple different procedures, and all of those procedures affect the penile nerves (thus sexual function) in different ways. Any recommended treatment should be based solely on your particular situation. The least invasive surgical procedure is called "Transurethral Resection of the Prostate" and is basically removing only a portion of the prostate through the penis in order to maintain urinary function, it is highly effective and most likely to leave sexual function intact (around 80% of patients incur no significant damage to the nerves). The complete prostate can be removed via 2 different procedures, the first via the use of the "DaVinci Robot" in a laparoscopic procedure - around 50% of men undergoing this procedure maintain sexual function, mostly dependent upon the skill of the surgeon. Most invasive procedure is the complete removal of the prostate via an open procedure called "Radical Resection of the Prostate." This procedure involves a large incision in the lower abdomen, and seldom can the nerves be preserved (thus impotence is highly likely). For this reason, this last procedure is generally limited to patients who's cancers are so advanced that they are at high risk of loss of life if surgery is not performed.

Other treatments can be quite effective, such as "radioactive seed implantation" and they have variable results in regards to sexual function, mostly related to the location of the tumor within the prostate and proper placement of the "seeds."

My suggestion is that you "do your homework" and ask your physician LOTS of questions about treatment and outcomes. Also, it is worth the time and effort to get a second opinion. Finally, please remember that your life is worth a great deal, and loss of a particular function doesn't negate that value.

[urfan]

hey pal,

sorry to hear of your situation. the prospect of permanent ED is a terrifying one, so the psychological is as important as the physical.

look into the support group thing early.

[Bit Banger]

Sorry to hear of your plight!

Regardless of you procedure & outcome, if you are a 'Nam vet contact the VA. Prostrate cancer is an Agent Orange presumptive eligible for compensation.

[pitbull]

I too wish this gentleman the best of luck. The body can betray, and cancer is a scourge -- but fortunately it does not have to be the end of the road. Be strong and stay positive.

And mod perhaps can correct the typo of "prostrate" to "prostate." Not that it matters.

[Liz of NM]

As a tantric provider, I suggest Trying a Tantric Approach to Sex. Read the below article:

Tantric Sex After Prostate Cancer

Does this mean their sex life is over, and the days of orgasms are gone? Well, no. It might not be the same it was, ejaculation and all, but there still can be sexual bliss and orgasm, with or without an erection!

Not being able to have an erection and penetrate his partner is devastating for his manhood, self-esteem and confidence.

Essentially Tantra is not just about sex techniques but the entire human being and a way of life. Tehre are a wide range of practices for mind-blowing sex with or without an erection.

Surviving a life-threatening disease often brings about personal transformation. What was important before is no longer meaningful. Life’s pace slows down, and even the mundane and trite moments become sacred. Looking into our partner’s eyes touches us at the bottom of our heart, and sexual union transforms into a meeting of two divine beings. Letting go of the past, we experience this moment; pure, new and fresh. Letting go of the future, we forget the goal. These are tantric practices for living more ecstatically, and when we apply them to sexual intimacy, the sky is the limit in terms of ecstatic, orgasmic experiences!

Sexual satisfaction and orgasms are not dependent on hard or wet genitals. When two lovers are deeply in tune with each other energetically, their intimacy can become the portal to the great bliss of tantric union rather than ending in the fleeting gratification of ejaculation. Remember Sting’s infamous seven-hour lovemaking sessions? Do you really think that he sported an erection the entire time? There are options, and many ways to make love!

Don, a retired scientist, had a prostatectomy seven years ago. “One of the first steps in my healing process”, he said, “was to accept that I could not get an erection, and that I really wanted one. I desperately wanted to find a way for his penis to get hard again.”

Finally, after about three years, he tried intracavernous injection therapy, injecting medicine into his penis before intercourse. It worked; he got an erection. But to his surprise his orgasm was a completely new experience. Rather than the orgasm of brief throbbing and ejaculation, it continued for many minutes, and sent waves of ecstatic vibrations through his whole body and that of his partner. By accident he discovered what we call a full body orgasm. Curious about the experience, Don and Jane attended several of our workshops and learned about the physiology of the body’s ecstatic response and the spiritual-sexual connection. They explored tantric practices that apply to their everyday life, and their intimate loving.

Nowadays when they make love he might use the injections, or not, and it is satisfying all the same. Jane tells me that their sex life is the best it’s been in their 30-year marriage! While Don certainly was not happy about his cancer, he is grateful for getting a different outlook on life, and a new perspective on what his body is capable of. He is thankful for being open to learn new ways of making love and relating to his wife. And above all, he is happy to be alive.

For those men unable to get erections after prostate cancer treatment, Western medicine provides various options for the physical part of having sex. From the tantric perspective there are many ways to connect with our ecstatic selves, with our without the medical help. To experience high sex is a transformational journey, not dependent on the prostate, and it enriches not only our sexual activities but our entire life.

It is our sincere wish to start a conversation about this important subject and to encourage each and every one of us to talk about it and create community and support for all those affected by prostate cancer.

Feel free to contact Lokita and Steve Carter at ecstaticliving.com

Edited December 9, 2012 by Liz of NM
link broken

[Guest Birdie]

I have been fighting various cancers for awhile now. The latest is prostrate. Because I am young they want to remove it. Anyone know what kind of sex life I can expect afterwards? Or should I try to wear it out prior to the surgery?

Here is what I can lend to you on this subject as a woman and one with a healthcare background…

Of course, your health is the priority as a man, and as a younger man, your future functionality is a major consideration and oddly almost as important.

1. Get 2nd, 3rd opinions. Often patients are pressured to go with what the top surgeon, doctor of that field/hospital recommends, and family, friends, encourage, even what your insurance will cover. That isn’t always YOUR best answer. Do your research, demand answers. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/treatment/prostate/Patient/page4

2. I hope a few men on this board who are survivors, PM you and offer their support, advise based on your concerns.

3. Remember, much like breast cancer; if caught early, it’s curable and will enable you to live a full life. There are several treatment options that are based on YOUR personal case, stage and available treatment options. There is no cookie cutter treatment or advice. What did or didn’t work for someone else, doesn’t necessarily apply to you. So choose wisely on advise and treatment.

BTW, men can have their prostate removed due to non-cancer related problems and perform just fine. Prostate cancer does not mean loss of ability to sexually perform anymore! It is all based on the individual and treatment based on their individual course of treatment.

I have had at least four different long term clients who have experienced this. All choose a different treatment based on their diagnosis, staging and what was the best option for them…and had different outcomes to some degree. They were all my clients before they were diagnosed, the ONE common thread between all of them, is regardless of how it did, or DIDN’T affect them physically; the life experience changed them. They had a new appreciation; changed outlook on life, renewed zest…became deeper men, greater lovers…I have been blessed to know them and so appreciative to have them in my world today.

The unknown is the biggest, scariest part of this. Surround yourself with loved ones, supportive friends, advice and do your research until you get the best answer/treatment for you, the rest will fall into place…while there is numerous sexual alternatives for "ED," (regardless if it is a result of cancer), that is not necassarily going to be the outcome to YOUR prostate treatment. With advanced treatments, many men don't miss a beat, some have a longer recovery time and there are plenty of men, woman here to ensure you of that, enlighten you...

[boink36]

I too wish this gentleman the best of luck. The body can betray, and cancer is a scourge -- but fortunately it does not have to be the end of the road. Be strong and stay positive.

And mod perhaps can correct the typo of "prostrate" to "prostate." Not that it matters.

If I corrected all of the spelling on the forum it would take months, starting with several weeks on my own posts.

[lakelovernaz]

Thanks everyone I really appreciate every answer. Radiation and seeds were all options. It's just that after tissue has been radiated it throws out the surgery option later down the road. They told me if I was older that radiation would have been the choice. I just got over being treated for Hodgkins lymphoma, and one of the concerns for me is that bleomycin which was used in the chemo can cause problems with the lungs if too much oxygen is given during surgery. Sorry about the spelling my Chemo messed with my eyesight and it still has not recovered.

[urfan]

excellent posts Liz and Birdie. thanks for the information and also the measure of hopefulness you inspire.

after all, none of us knows if and/or when we too may be faced with this situation.

[pitbull]

Thanks everyone I really appreciate every answer. Radiation and seeds were all options. It's just that after tissue has been radiated it throws out the surgery option later down the road. They told me if I was older that radiation would have been the choice. I just got over being treated for Hodgkins lymphoma, and one of the concerns for me is that bleomycin which was used in the chemo can cause problems with the lungs if too much oxygen is given during surgery. Sorry about the spelling my Chemo messed with my eyesight and it still has not recovered.

No need to apologize for the spelling, comrade. I truly wish you the best.

Stay strong.

[Guest]

Do all the research you can. One of my favorite friends did the seed implant and is a bedroom rockstar. There is hope, just know all your options. Feel free to try and wear it out ahead of time I wish you a speedy and thorough recovery

Awww.....shucks, ma'am.......

[mtnman2000]

Sorry to hear this.

My dad had the seeding done, survived, has sex still. My recommendation.

[parkercole]

lakelover, i wish you a speedy and healthy recovery! amazing all of the valuable and enlightning responses and info from folks on tob! just make sure you are educating yourself on all the possibilities. people's experiences and input with this are so very invaluable!

i have always been a racer, runner-biker. have always felt invincible and never questioned my vitality. i just recently have been diagnosed with a problamatic health issue that will most likely change my life from day to day here on out. my energy and days of a good physical burn are probably not even a possibility. but what sucks the most is the medication i've been given has altered my sex life. i've recently had it changed to where i could try to get back on track. the first medicine killed everything associated with sex. so i am too on a boat of what is next? but my friend, i hope someday soon i will experience some sense of normalcy. especially with my sexual lifestyle!!!

so keep your head up, stay positive, learn about all the options and possibilities of your condition, and things will be grand......

[rachelsonoma]

I know someone who had his entire prostate removed. His wife told me how things work. He functions sexually almost the same as he did before, with a prescription from his Dr. It's not Viagra. It's a suppository that gets placed in the urethra just before the act. The Dr. calls it "cocaine for the penis." He orgasms from sex but there is no ejaculation.

Prostate cancer survivors vary. Your story may be different. The important thing is to follow advice from a trusted dr. Make sure you get the treatment you need after your surgery. I am sorry you have to go thru surgery and on top of that, worry about your sexuality. It is an important part of who you are. I will send healing vibrations your way...

[lakelovernaz]

I really appreciate all the advice and PMs Thanks so much everyone. I had Hodgkins Lymphoma and that was scarey enough. Then to get this slapped on me, well just hope there is a little light at the end of the tunnel.