Posted October 30, 2021 Sometimes us ladies need to clean up our TOB references that are several years old. If you see that a particular reference you've had from years ago has been pulled, please don't take it personal. You can always reach back out to the provider, and see if she'll approve a new reference request for you. Sometimes you'll need to schedule a new visit, because you only saw each other once or twice a long time ago. Sometimes it's a provider you've seen often or more currently and just haven't updated it yet. This would be a good time. Have a great weekend everyone. 😊 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2021 Thanks for the reminder! Seems here lately, some men are taking real disadvantages of our good references. It is extremely helpful, when ladies reach out to each other when they hear a client has turned into a bad apple with other ladies, and not to supply a reference anymore. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2021 I recall a review earlier this year where a guy claimed that he and a lady on here worked out a deal to exchange her positive reference for his positive review. When screening from either side probably smart to not just look at the existence of the reference or review, but to also consider the source. But more to the OP's point, if a lady has a reason to withdraw an old reference, she should definitely do so. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2021 30 minutes ago, Mustang87 said: I recall a review earlier this year where a guy claimed that he and a lady on here worked out a deal to exchange her positive reference for his positive review. When screening from either side probably smart to not just look at the existence of the reference or review, but to also consider the source. But more to the OP's point, if a lady has a reason to withdraw an old reference, she should definitely do so. As usual, it's the bad clients who ruin everything for the good clients. That being said, like I posted, please reach out to your provider if your reference has pulled, there are ways to get an updated reference or get a new reference. Basically, if we're throwing our names out there for ladies to use as a factor in determining if they want to see a client, we might want to make sure those clients are not out here acting obnoxious, crossing boundaries, timewasting/ncns, etc. There are ways we can do that. I think every few years isn't so bad. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2021 2 hours ago, Caressa Duval said: Thanks for the reminder! Seems here lately, some men are taking real disadvantages of our good references. It is extremely helpful, when ladies reach out to each other when they hear a client has turned into a bad apple with other ladies, and not to supply a reference anymore. Yes please let us know when one of our references is acting cray cray or being an asshole. We can stop giving the reference immediately, and also contact the provider who gave us the reference. The sooner the better for us all. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2021 On 10/30/2021 at 1:11 PM, Hunter VanDyke said: Sometimes us ladies need to clean up our TOB references that are several years old. If you see that a particular reference you've had from years ago has been pulled, please don't take it personal. You can always reach back out to the provider, and see if she'll approve a new reference request for you. Sometimes you'll need to schedule a new visit, because you only saw each other once or twice a long time ago. Sometimes it's a provider you've seen often or more currently and just haven't updated it yet. This would be a good time. Have a great weekend everyone. 😊 Everything commented here makes sense. General guideline on how to handle references:: A client may not want to delete said reference until an update can happen, keeping his references even old has merit if one's street creds are in order. To update a reference both parties must agree; this should be establish first per the individuals reconnecting efforts. Then--> a PM with the title [ reference update ] sent to TheWhisperer including the lady and client ---> with the comment--> "Want to update reference with _______" <---- (insert name). You can include me as well so we are on the same page, TheWhisperer though will be the guiding force, explained here updating-•provider-references/ Either the lady or client can send this PM. ___________________ To clarify:: A client would want to ask for an update first before deleting the old reference. A lady with references that are old can without notice remove the old reference as this should keep things current and is completely acceptable. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2021 43 minutes ago, Kaduk said: To update a reference both parties must agree; this should be establish first per the individuals reconnecting efforts. Then--> a PM with the title [ reference update ] sent to TheWhisperer including the lady and client ---> with the comment--> "Want to update reference with _______" <---- (insert name). You can include me as well so we are on the same page, TheWhisperer though will be the guiding force, explained here updating-•provider-references/ Either the lady or client can send this PM. Thank you for sharing this process. So very helpful!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 31, 2021 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Caressa Duval said: Cray cray, might be a review they leave in the future, after meeting us. You do You, but also consider posting a review that would offend most of us! Gross content is just that, GROSS! And mods, I never gave a certain person a reference, but he wrote a review and I want his review removed pleased!!! It only gives him legitimacy that I do not agree with. As far my references, my number one concern is can a client respect any and all of a providers boundaries. If the respect is there in all communication and activities, then I'm comfortable with the reference. If a client is obnoxious, inappropriate, and enjoys pushing boundaries. I want no part of that. The problem is when clients act one way with one provider to get the reference, then make a switch with other providers. That jekyll/Hyde mentality. So frustrating! Edited October 31, 2021 by Hunter VanDyke 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted November 11, 2021 On 10/31/2021 at 2:17 PM, Hunter VanDyke said: As far my references, my number one concern is can a client respect any and all of a providers boundaries. If the respect is there in all communication and activities, then I'm comfortable with the reference. If a client is obnoxious, inappropriate, and enjoys pushing boundaries. I want no part of that. The problem is when clients act one way with one provider to get the reference, then make a switch with other providers. That jekyll/Hyde mentality. So frustrating! I completely agree with all the reasons to delete a reference if the client has disrespected any provider. I don't personally understand that and any client who disrespects a provider should have their reference if there are any negative issues with any provider. What I do disagree is deleting a reference because of time. If the client has no negative issues all that is accomplished is taking his "street creds" which to me is not cool. A client could fall in lust, or whatever, and drop out of the hobby. When the client returned they would start over. Some clients like me don't have many references because I do give reviews and the think it looks like a deal when you see a client has a reference from a provider the client has given a review especially if the dates are close. My thoughts. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted January 5, 2022 (edited) On 10/31/2021 at 0:14 PM, Kaduk said: Everything commented here makes sense. General guideline on how to handle references:: A client may not want to delete said reference until an update can happen, keeping his references even old has merit if one's street creds are in order. To update a reference both parties must agree; this should be establish first per the individuals reconnecting efforts. Then--> a PM with the title [ reference update ] sent to TheWhisperer including the lady and client ---> with the comment--> "Want to update reference with _______" <---- (insert name). You can include me as well so we are on the same page, TheWhisperer though will be the guiding force, explained here updating-•provider-references/ Either the lady or client can send this PM. ___________________ To clarify:: A client would want to ask for an update first before deleting the old reference. A lady with references that are old can without notice remove the old reference as this should keep things current and is completely acceptable. Not to be confused with the need for mutual respect, penalizing bad, not inactive actors actually makes sense. Thanks, Kaduk. Edited January 5, 2022 by Hobby Hobbit 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
