date, or no date?

[juanduh]

juan doh

2 hours agoDetails

I was wondering your availability for today, and general location

H

2 hours agoDetails

Please email me recent refs (no backpage ladies or visiting ladies) you're phone number, age and race. Thank you

H

2 hours agoDetails

DTC

juan doh

2 hours agoDetails

I sent you a pre scree n on p411 let me I'd it's not enough

H

When are you looking to get together and for how long?

J

juan doh

1 hr very open any time

H

to me

2 hours agoDetails

I'm not ready yet need shower ect. so 3pm will that work? may be earlier but 3 by latest

juandoh

Sounds great

H

call me when you're on your way let's just stick with 3pm where abouts are u coming from? I am SE Denver few min from DTC

Juan doh

Lakewood.I will give you a call around 2:15

H

ok. u speak good English correct? just want make sure lol my BF of 8 years is Hispanic but I still only know a little Spanish lol

J

juan doh

to H

1 hour agoDetails

Odd question, but yes I speak English

H

to me

1 hour agoDetails

lol I always ask if I know race just make sure get you to me clearly. I have some clients who barely speak English makes it difficult lol.

H

to me

1 hour agoDetails

we still good for 3? let me know just want make sure

H

to me

1 hour agoDetails

guess not as u haven't replied back. if somethings changed for 3pm let me know ASAP it's 118pm now I need know by 130pm thank you

J

juan doh

to H

29 minutes agoDetails

Sorry I did not respond to you soon enough. I just thought. We had set the time of 3, and I would call you at 2:15. You just tossed me a curve ball when your last two messages were asking for a reply right now after we established a time. Sorry for the confusion.

H

to me

25 minutes agoDetails

your missing my point lol. we did have a time then I asked if u speak English and u replied back that's odd yes I do then I replied to that never heard back from you so I thought that put u off. I've never had a client not reply back to me when we have an appt scheduled. that's all no big deal moving on lol have a beautiful day

[Guest]

I would date. I don't see any red flags. She sounds like she's being careful. Unless you think you've created an awkward situation already and it would affect your appointment with her. But she's not making a big deal about it so I would go thru with it. You can laugh about it later. "Remember when you asked me if I spoke good English? That was odd! Ha ha ha..."

[Bit Banger]

juanduh, if this exchange is complete & accurate (there's at least 2 sides to every story), the I would say she cancelled your appointment. The appointment was set for 3pm, with 2:15 established as your confirmation call. The subsequent chit-chat about English not withstanding. However at the end of that she did ask, "we still good for 3?" You didn't respond, but then again I didn't see any indication that you were changing the 3pm appointment. It's always difficult to know when to cut the chit-chat.

[juanduh]

Sorry I did not clarify the question. Was there a date set

[frankenthaler91]

It's hard to follow the time line. 28min ago, 1hr ago, 3 hrs ago.......

There was an agreement to meet at 3pm. You said your would contact at 2:15. She said OK. I'm guessing her next 2 messages were before the 2:15 time. You didn't respond, and she blew you off, in the wrong way.

Yes there was a date schedule.

[Guest]

I'm slow today. It definitely sounded like the date was off as I read it back again. Did you ask if she could still honor the appointment?

[juanduh]

Yeah I tried, but the whole thing put me off.

[Guest]

Yeah I tried, but the whole thing put me off.

Yeah, me too.

Sounds like a date was set, but you mighta got kinda lucky. And if you're so inclined, I'd appreciate a PM revealing who this was. Not for my "black list" but just for a "kinda watch it here" list.

[Lucy Kitten]

Nope, what Bit Banger said. She asked for confirmation and you didn't give it. It was almost there but not quite.

Text is the worst for setting up appointments and this is why. Far too much is lost in translation.

[Guest]

Text is the worst for setting up appointments and this is why. Far too much is lost in translation.

A-fucken-men.

Especially if she's that hung up on "Do you speak English". A 30 second phone call would have cleared it all up without the awkward text exchange.

I prefer text for a lot. But at some point, I want to talk to you on the phone, even if it's a really short call. I think everyone can read a lot about another person pretty fast that way. Just makes everyone more comfortable.

And I agree with whatever Lucy said, just because.

[MAG]

Nope, what Bit Banger said. She asked for confirmation and you didn't give it. It was almost there but not quite.

Text is the worst for setting up appointments and this is why. Far too much is lost in translation.

Agreed. Pick up the fucking phone & call. Why ask us if a "date was set"? It was set if you both think it was set. Otherwise it was not. It doesn't matter what we say about it, especially when the timeline is so difficult to piece together.

I don't blame her for getting spooked.

[frankenthaler91]

Nope, what Bit Banger said. She asked for confirmation and you didn't give it. It was almost there but not quite.

I disagree.

j

H

to me

2 hours agoDetails

I'm not ready yet need shower ect. so 3pm will that work? may be earlier but 3 by latest

juandoh

Sounds great

H

call me when you're on your way let's just stick with 3pm where abouts are u coming from? I am SE Denver few min from DTC

Juan doh

Lakewood.I will give you a call around 2:15

H

ok. u speak good English correct? just want make sure lol my BF of 8 years is Hispanic but I still only know a little Spanish lol

This looks like a timeline from a Gmail conversation. Anything past 1 hour, is just listed as 1 hour ago, 2 hours ago......

When she emailed the OP back, it could have been 30+ minutes after she said "OK" to the 3PM meet and 2:15 call back.

She said to call when he was on his way. Which could have been at 2:45. The OP stated he would call at 2:15. Any attempted conversations before 2:15 should not have an impact on the agreed upon 3PM meeting.

[juanduh]

I called her back at 1:45.and then it got weird. Thanks for the input now I don't feel as much like an ass

[Bit Banger]

... I would say she cancelled your appointment. The appointment was set for 3pm, with 2:15 established as your confirmation call. The subsequent chit-chat about English not withstanding. ...

Nope, what Bit Banger said. She asked for confirmation and you didn't give it. It was almost there but not quite. ...

The appointment was established in the initial portion of the conversation, with an agreed upon time and a scheduled confirmation call. The subsequent chit-chat regarding English was just that - chit-chat. I can easily see why her 2nd request for confirmation was missed & juanduh thought he had an appointment, which she later found a reason to cancel.

...Text is the worst for setting up appointments and this is why. Far too much is lost in translation.

On this we firmly agree! Hence my practice of a P411 request to establish bona fides, followed by a phone call for the details.

[rhood]

Not to be rude but why does any of this matter? What is the point of all this? I do find all these responses very interesting tho.

To me it seems as if she was trying to find an excuse to back out. And to no fault of your own, she did. Did you call her at 2 15? To me that's the only thing that matters.

[Lucy Kitten]

The appointment was established in the initial portion of the conversation, with an agreed upon time and a scheduled confirmation call. The subsequent chit-chat regarding English was just that - chit-chat. I can easily see why her 2nd request for confirmation was missed & juanduh thought he had an appointment, which she later found a reason to cancel.

On this we firmly agree! Hence my practice of a P411 request to establish bona fides, followed by a phone call for the details.

I don't think she found a reason to cancel, I think convo went an odd direction and she asked for clarification after that. And why would he reply to "do you speak English" question and not the one that immediately followed? I wouldn't end a conversation on that note it's kind of weird. If a conversation goes off on a tangent it's best to confirm the point of the conversation before ending it. "Just wanting to make sure" implies hesitancy, he didn't answer and maybe her uncertainty was confirmed. He said it but she didn't really confirm it, she tried for actual verbal/text confirmation and didn't get an answer. That's not looking for a reason to cancel, that's a dude who ended the conversation before it was over. If he didn't speak English well then there wouldn't have been an appointment right?

[Happymon]

I have no idea who's "right or wrong" based upon what you've provided. What I do know is that I was confused reading it. I also know that in relatively controlled situations, research demonstrates people commonly misunderstand both intent and tone from simple text/email messages. Even with people they know well!

Pick up the damn phone.

[rhood]

Pick up the damn phone.

[rhood]

Texting is lame unless you already know the person and are just asking if they can meet at such and such time. If you don't know the person then a few text or emails to establish availability is ok but then " pick up the damn phone" to confirm and break the ice real quick. Geesh it's not that difficult. Plus it also helps to legitimize the situation. Not always..but it's a step in the right direction.

No one is wrong or right here. Actually both parties were wrong. The whole situation was handled poorly and it's probably better off they didn't meet.

[Boardmember]

I prefer text, since I'm in one of those "modern" f$#%^ing open offices i.e. no privacy at all. So, calling can be a challenge. But, the minute things are less than 100% clear, it is time to make a voice call.

I have no idea who's "right or wrong" based upon what you've provided. What I do know is that I was confused reading it. I also know that in relatively controlled situations, research demonstrates people commonly misunderstand both intent and tone from simple text/email messages. Even with people they know well!

Pick up the damn phone.

[Kinkster]

I have experienced this before.

You feel the itch & try to set something up for later that day. P411 is your screening, so same day should be no problem. You make contact, get screened, confirm a time & two call system.

Then you go into an important meeting where you are not looking at your phone for a couple hours. Might have even closed a big deal & are ready to reward yourself with a little slap & tickle.

When you are finally free to check the phone, ASP has had a text conversation with herself & is upset that you were unresponsive.

Reward yourself aborted through no fault of your own. SMDH.