Posted August 16, 2012 Hey all, I'm new to the forum and the hobby. There's something I'm curious about and as mentioned in the title it's a touchy issue. It's not my intention to stir things up or point fingers but rather get some honest insight from people more experienced in the hobby world. So I've come across provider ads that say "no black males"/"no african americans"... and I've seen some with pics that say "I love white boys". I'm not a black male... there's no scenario where I should be classified black or of african descent or however one wishes to say it. I'm also not white and likewise, no one would ever confuse me for white. I wouldn't go see a provider with these stipulations because I'd consider it a safe assumption that "no blacks" is code for "whites only". Is that fair? And for every provider that places such a stipulation in their ads, are there others who do who wouldn't include such a stipulation in their ad but who would enforce it if you meet them face to face? I'd rather not have to be cautious about this sort of thing but at the same time I'm not sure it wouldn't arise an issue, and it's certainly one I'd like to avoid. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 It's unfortunate, but it never hurts to mention your racial background to nip any issues in the bud, before driving 45 minutes to meet her. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 A lot of young ladies associate young black male hobbyists as pimps recruiting. Other than that, "a lady's preference is a lady's preference". You have to ask yourself, is there any race or ethnicity that just doesn't turn you on? If so, does that make you a racist? Each to his own, just don't hate. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 You have to ask yourself, is there any race or ethnicity that just doesn't turn you on? If so, does that make you a racist? Thanks for your input, but no disrespect intended, this is the discussion I was trying to avoid with the touchy subject warning. If you think this is a question I need to ask myself I don't believe you understand the intent of my post... apologies if I wasn't clear. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 Hey all, I'm new to the forum and the hobby. There's something I'm curious about and as mentioned in the title it's a touchy issue. It's not my intention to stir things up or point fingers but rather get some honest insight from people more experienced in the hobby world. So I've come across provider ads that say "no black males"/"no african americans"... and I've seen some with pics that say "I love white boys". I'm not a black male... there's no scenario where I should be classified black or of african descent or however one wishes to say it. I'm also not white and likewise, no one would ever confuse me for white. I wouldn't go see a provider with these stipulations because I'd consider it a safe assumption that "no blacks" is code for "whites only". Is that fair? And for every provider that places such a stipulation in their ads, are there others who do who wouldn't include such a stipulation in their ad but who would enforce it if you meet them face to face? I'd rather not have to be cautious about this sort of thing but at the same time I'm not sure it wouldn't arise an issue, and it's certainly one I'd like to avoid. I wouldn't go see a provider with these stipulations because I'd consider it a safe assumption that "no blacks" is code for "whites only". I have no idea why providers put what you mention in their ads, but I'll pass on what one girl shared with me (she is now married, retired and no longer lives here locally): Her fiance is black, and knowing she doesn't see black clients helps him see her job as a job. I'm posting this to illustrate my point, which is: Never assume. If you're curious, call her and ask. And, don't generalize. What is true for one provider may not be true for another. Now I'm curious. When you see one of those ads, call her and say, "I'm Asian (or Hispanic, Native American, etc.). Is that okay?" And for every provider that places such a stipulation in their ads, are there others who do who wouldn't include such a stipulation in their ad but who would enforce it if you meet them face to face? Are there others? I would think that if something was a dealbreaker to a provider, she would mention it in her ads. Good hygiene is mentioned frequently, as this is a dealbreaker for many. I'd rather not have to be cautious about this sort of thing but at the same time I'm not sure it wouldn't arise an issue, and it's certainly one I'd like to avoid. When you call a provider, discuss it with her. The only thing that's really relevant is your enjoyment of your session. Generalities shouldn't concern you, unless you're a sociologist or something. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 Thanks for your input, but no disrespect intended, this is the discussion I was trying to avoid with the touchy subject warning. If you think this is a question I need to ask myself I don't believe you understand the intent of my post... apologies if I wasn't clear. Hobronin, I understood the intent of your original post and tried to respond that IMHO, it is usually one of the two reasons I stated, that drives the posting of an NBA. My last sentence about introspection wasn't directed at you but people in general. We all have preferences, some stronger than others. But regardless of our preferences, we shouldn't let it evolve to a negativity about others. Not being specific to you but just people in general, my apologies if I wasn't clear. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 ... I'm not a black male... there's no scenario where I should be classified black or of african descent or however one wishes to say it. I'm also not white and likewise, no one would ever confuse me for white. I wouldn't go see a provider with these stipulations because I'd consider it a safe assumption that "no blacks" is code for "whites only". Is that fair? ... I'd rather not have to be cautious about this sort of thing but at the same time I'm not sure it wouldn't arise an issue, and it's certainly one I'd like to avoid. A good question. I'm sure the answers will be all over the board. Is the assumption "fair"? Probably not. Do you handle rejection well? Your assumption is likely accurate enough times to test your limits. Not pleasant, but a reality I experienced, WASP that I am, in the less urban areas of my overseas travels. ... When you call a provider, discuss it with her. The only thing that's really relevant is your enjoyment of your session. ... Jennifer, I think you missed his point. He was trying to avoid rejection based on _whatever_, even on the phone. In today's market, if I'm not in the mood for a tall blond, I simply don't call you; you never know about it and don't get personally rejected. But if I call you up and in the course of our conversation say, "Oh, you're _whatever_. Never mind!" how do you feel? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 Hobronin, Being neither white nor black myself, in the days pre-P411, I used to say, when I called an ASP, "oh, btw, I'm ________, is that okay"? All the 20 yrs or so of "hobbying", I've never had a rejection based on this. When I got a P411 account, I stuck my mug shot there for providers to look at when I request appointments. I trusted they would preuse my P411 info beforehand and didn't need me to verbalize my race. Ironically, I had an unpleasant experience in Phoenix where the appt was not up to par. And all indications were that my race played a factor. Good Luck. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) [snip] I have changed my race to "European American". Edited August 17, 2012 by boink36 Politics deleted. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 17, 2012 Hobronin, I understood the intent of your original post and tried to respond that IMHO, it is usually one of the two reasons I stated, that drives the posting of an NBA. My last sentence about introspection wasn't directed at you but people in general. We all have preferences, some stronger than others. But regardless of our preferences, we shouldn't let it evolve to a negativity about others. Not being specific to you but just people in general, my apologies if I wasn't clear. No problem. I just didn't want this thread to be about accusing anyone of being anything based on their preferences or even expressing my opinion on the issue. To that extent I was not successful (judging by some of the other responses)... I suppose it was naive to think I could address the issue without riling some up. Oh well. I don't exist in a lala world where this issue wouldn't arise... I brought up the subject because it's not one I can ignore. Some people can, and yes that's okay (lola). You should enjoy and exercise your liberty to ignore it if you choose to do so. I would if I could. I'm not really worried about rejection... I'd rather deal with it on the phone than in person. And I will probably go ahead and mention it when talking to providers.... I do wonder if it's something that would be expected of hobbyists discussing say their weight or age with a provider. (which would seem to be equal issues of preference as well) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 17, 2012 I do wonder if it's something that would be expected of hobbyists discussing say their weight or age with a provider. (which would seem to be equal issues of preference as well) Yes! Especially when either is at the extremes of the scale (<21-age-80>, 300# or more, etc.) Some ladies get particular when the guys are under 35. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 18, 2012 Ever seen Full Metal Jacket? She enforced it. I'm an equal opportunity provider. But the biggest one I've ever seen, by far, was a 5'4" Asian dude. That bitch would have regretted stereotyping if she ran into that guy. And for every provider that places such a stipulation in their ads, are there others who do who wouldn't include such a stipulation in their ad but who would enforce it if you meet them face to face? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 19, 2012 I asked a provider about this. She said she doesn't want to see black dudes for fear of being beaten up and forced to work for him. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 19, 2012 Get a preferred 411 account. There will be a place to list your ethnicity. When you are ready to book appointments, book through your preferred 411 account. When you do this, the lady that you are requesting an appointment from will be able to see your ethnicity and decide if you are somebody she would like to see or not. Also, in your bio on preferred 411 you may want to mention this. This should save you time and heartache. Good luck! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 20, 2012 It's unfortunate, but it never hurts to mention your racial background to nip any issues in the bud, before driving 45 minutes to meet her. I agree. After all, why would you want to see someone who doesn't want to see you anyway? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2012 Ever seen Full Metal Jacket? She enforced it. I'm an equal opportunity provider. But the biggest one I've ever seen, by far, was a 5'4" Asian dude. That bitch would have regretted stereotyping if she ran into that guy. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eop remember they term being keyed many years ago 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 21, 2012 its 2012 but no one will give any real sympathy for the race card... but if they said "No Whites" there would be a witch hunt... take solace when the word around the camp fire is said girl is not doing very well... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
