hobronin

Of course it does. But the donation goes one way. But regardless of that I'm fairly confident I'm not being a hypocrite here, though it's all in the eye of the beholder of course.

Thanks for the input everyone. As stated I'm new to this and my take may evolve, but at the moment I'm not seeking the same things from this that I'd seek in a relationship with a SO. I'm looking for something carnal and superficial... it's surprising I'm in the minority in that regard... I suppose that comes with more experience from this sort of thing? I would like to do that... I imagine most providers would not be game. I suppose offering a donation for her time would be appropriate.

I agree, didn't mean to imply that. I've also "grown" into attraction. Even when this happens I don't feel it's a choice or conscious decision. And at any rate 30 mins or an hour is certainly not enough time to grow into attraction with a provider.

My take on attraction, it's something that is involuntary and spontaneous. It's not a calculated decision... it just happens. I've never been able to make it happen just because it's convenient for me to do so (a woman is obviously into me), and likewise it happens when it is no way appropriate (too young, involved with a friend, the bosses daughter, etc.). This is why I have no problems with homosexuals. I am sure they didn't choose attraction to the same sex the same way I know I couldn't choose to get a woody thinking about a dude. I bring this up because, for me, it's pretty essential that I find a provider attractive. And often you are only going to see this person for the first time at the door. So what's the way to handle it if the door opens and attraction is not there? I'm new to the hobby and my first attempt to jump in, this happened to me. I'll be light on details but this was a well reviewed provider, and there were pics online which were probably accurate except like many of the pics you can't see the face. So many of the reviews mentioned how pretty she was so I had been expecting someone I would be attracted to, and when the door opened I was a bit taken aback that the attraction just wasn't there. And I was at a loss for how to handle it. I'd be interested in input from both hobbyists and providers on the best etiquette when this happens.

No problem. I just didn't want this thread to be about accusing anyone of being anything based on their preferences or even expressing my opinion on the issue. To that extent I was not successful (judging by some of the other responses)... I suppose it was naive to think I could address the issue without riling some up. Oh well. I don't exist in a lala world where this issue wouldn't arise... I brought up the subject because it's not one I can ignore. Some people can, and yes that's okay (lola). You should enjoy and exercise your liberty to ignore it if you choose to do so. I would if I could. I'm not really worried about rejection... I'd rather deal with it on the phone than in person. And I will probably go ahead and mention it when talking to providers.... I do wonder if it's something that would be expected of hobbyists discussing say their weight or age with a provider. (which would seem to be equal issues of preference as well)

Thanks for your input, but no disrespect intended, this is the discussion I was trying to avoid with the touchy subject warning. If you think this is a question I need to ask myself I don't believe you understand the intent of my post... apologies if I wasn't clear.

Hey all, I'm new to the forum and the hobby. There's something I'm curious about and as mentioned in the title it's a touchy issue. It's not my intention to stir things up or point fingers but rather get some honest insight from people more experienced in the hobby world. So I've come across provider ads that say "no black males"/"no african americans"... and I've seen some with pics that say "I love white boys". I'm not a black male... there's no scenario where I should be classified black or of african descent or however one wishes to say it. I'm also not white and likewise, no one would ever confuse me for white. I wouldn't go see a provider with these stipulations because I'd consider it a safe assumption that "no blacks" is code for "whites only". Is that fair? And for every provider that places such a stipulation in their ads, are there others who do who wouldn't include such a stipulation in their ad but who would enforce it if you meet them face to face? I'd rather not have to be cautious about this sort of thing but at the same time I'm not sure it wouldn't arise an issue, and it's certainly one I'd like to avoid.