Posted December 9, 2018 You might not like what I am going to say here but it is probably the most honest advice you will get about this situation....Neither of these situations will work without the ability to be honest and open with your communication as to the way the situation and what your feelings are....It seems like you are only wanting to do this so you can keep the first wife around while you explore your options with the younger stripper chick, that way you can keep the first wife around just in case things dont work out well with the new heartthrob...Truly I can see no benefit that such a situation would be bringing to your current wife other than for you to rub the new relationship in her face everyday....The time to make a suggestion about a poly relationship is not when the relationship you are current in is dead and none existant but instead it should be introduced when there is the possibility of enjoyment for both partners not just one as that is selfish and self serving....I am sorry as I said I am not trying to sound rude to you about this but I just dont think that you understand what a poly relationship is actually about as it is not one sided just for the husband to enjoy but is supposed to be a thing that is done for mutual enjoyment...The problem is in our society it seems that there is something thrilling about sneaking around instead of being honest which is required for any relationship to work yet this seems to be a problem with nearly every poly relationship I have see or been involved with and until people realize that will kill any relationship regardless of it being poly or not...Any relationship you encounter in your life is based on communication and a level of trust that requires someone to be honest even when they are afraid of the consequences....Remember the reason people are dishonest not only with those they supposedly love but themselves is because they are hiding something that they obviously know is wrong even in their own minds, otherwise the would be able to step up and own it instead of trying to cover it up and make excuses why their relationship is no longer satisfying....While someone might get upset and feel hurt, if it is the truth they have the option of getting over it or not and leaving but without honesty about a situation being expressed you are denying them that choice which should be theirs to make in response to any situation that arises in life....So consider that as you think about why this situation would not work with your current wife, as it hasnt worked for her so far so why would such make the situation better???? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 9, 2018 ^^^ This. Honesty begets honest results. Manipulators are inherently dishonest. Hard to turn a leopard into a dove. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 10, 2018 19 hours ago, Barbi said: You might not like what I am going to say here but it is probably the most honest advice you will get about this situation....Neither of these situations will work without the ability to be honest and open with your communication as to the way the situation and what your feelings are....It seems like you are only wanting to do this so you can keep the first wife around while you explore your options with the younger stripper chick, that way you can keep the first wife around just in case things dont work out well with the new heartthrob...Truly I can see no benefit that such a situation would be bringing to your current wife other than for you to rub the new relationship in her face everyday....The time to make a suggestion about a poly relationship is not when the relationship you are current in is dead and none existant but instead it should be introduced when there is the possibility of enjoyment for both partners not just one as that is selfish and self serving....I am sorry as I said I am not trying to sound rude to you about this but I just dont think that you understand what a poly relationship is actually about as it is not one sided just for the husband to enjoy but is supposed to be a thing that is done for mutual enjoyment...The problem is in our society it seems that there is something thrilling about sneaking around instead of being honest which is required for any relationship to work yet this seems to be a problem with nearly every poly relationship I have see or been involved with and until people realize that will kill any relationship regardless of it being poly or not...Any relationship you encounter in your life is based on communication and a level of trust that requires someone to be honest even when they are afraid of the consequences....Remember the reason people are dishonest not only with those they supposedly love but themselves is because they are hiding something that they obviously know is wrong even in their own minds, otherwise the would be able to step up and own it instead of trying to cover it up and make excuses why their relationship is no longer satisfying....While someone might get upset and feel hurt, if it is the truth they have the option of getting over it or not and leaving but without honesty about a situation being expressed you are denying them that choice which should be theirs to make in response to any situation that arises in life....So consider that as you think about why this situation would not work with your current wife, as it hasnt worked for her so far so why would such make the situation better???? Thanks for the sage advise, Barbi. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 10, 2018 17 hours ago, johnnydog said: ^^^ This. Honesty begets honest results. Manipulators are inherently dishonest. Hard to turn a leopard into a dove. By virtue of our mere participation in a forum devoted to a hobby that honors, requires discretion, we are mostly if not all guilty by association so, what are you, johnnydog? Judge not, lest ye be judged. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 10, 2018 On 11/30/2018 at 4:36 PM, Hobby Hobbit said: Married for decades, with some indiscretions Going through financial dire straits, I caught myself fantasizing about getting to know her better with the intent of bringing her into the fold as a sister wife to help her .... So fellas, have any of you succeeded in this regard, convinced your jealous SO to allow such a thing? And ladies, have any of you been the begrudgingly added sister wife and made it work? It sounds to me like you're trying to take another hostage while keeping the other hostage quiet and even pleased to be part of this. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted December 10, 2018 4 hours ago, Hobby Hobbit said: By virtue of our mere participation in a forum devoted to a hobby that honors, requires discretion, we are mostly if not all guilty by association so, what are you, johnnydog? Judge not, lest ye be judged. Just an observation on the nature of humanity. As for myself, I chose to be single and accountable only to myself. I can add that while 3somes can be fun I prefer the focused company of one companion at a time. I have enjoyed long monogamous relationships, which, if BOTH parties wish to nurture, necessitate the requisite hard work, communication, emotional ups and downs and occasional frustration to flourish Adding a third party (and an unwanted and unknown one to the party of the first part at that) would seem a bit overwhelming and difficult for all three. I guess in the final analysis, this type of arrangement could work if the three participants ALL want it enough to put in the work. Prolly the chances of "Hey Honey I'm home. I brought you a surprise " ...slim to none. Disclaimer: One man's opinion, not a judgment. Best of luck to you Pal. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
