Smells Like.....

[Danielle Rae]

Well I'm sorry if you find my comment offensive / judgmental.  Yes everyone has their own reasons for making their own choices in life.  And according to the OP who admittedly has a "healthy sex life with his wife" his only reason for participation in this hobby was that he "just really enjoys variety" and there was "No other way to say it" that is what brings him into the hobby...    Honestly, the "escort" me could care less what motivates participation in this 'hobby' - obviously  his dollar spends the same as any other.  However, the "woman" in me finds its incredibly sad, selfish, shallow and brutally inconsiderate to intentionally lie, cheat, deceive and betray the one person who you're supposed to hold dearest for "no other' reason than 'variety.'  Why let her live a lie?  What's fair about that when she is doing her part to provide 'a healthy sex life'?  Nobody likes to be lied to - tricked into believing things are a certain way when behind their back reality is the opposite.  Nobody likes to be deceived - especially by the one person who is supposed to have their back in this life.    If the only reason is "wanting variety" then the other partner is entitled to the truth and the opportunity to make their own choices based upon the reality of the relationship - it's their life too.  That is my opinion and I feel the same if the tables were turned and it was the woman cheating on her husband for no other reason than wanting "variety."   I don't know what love means to you but to me that's a shitty and shallow way to show it.   

As for your and the OP's shared opinion that a large percentage (80% according to the OP) of the men in this community share in the "I'm just here for variety" motive - I choose to believe that percentage is relatively small.  If I believed otherwise, my faith in humanity would be virtually eliminated. 

[sparkey600]

4 hours ago, Danielle Rae said:

Well I'm sorry if you find my comment offensive / judgmental.  Yes everyone has their own reasons for making their own choices in life.  And according to the OP who admittedly has a "healthy sex life with his wife" his only reason for participation in this hobby was that he "just really enjoys variety" and there was "No other way to say it" that is what brings him into the hobby...    Honestly, the "escort" me could care less what motivates participation in this 'hobby' - obviously  his dollar spends the same as any other.  However, the "woman" in me finds its incredibly sad, selfish, shallow and brutally inconsiderate to intentionally lie, cheat, deceive and betray the one person who you're supposed to hold dearest for "no other' reason than 'variety.'  Why let her live a lie?  What's fair about that when she is doing her part to provide 'a healthy sex life'?  Nobody likes to be lied to - tricked into believing things are a certain way when behind their back reality is the opposite.  Nobody likes to be deceived - especially by the one person who is supposed to have their back in this life.    If the only reason is "wanting variety" then the other partner is entitled to the truth and the opportunity to make their own choices based upon the reality of the relationship - it's their life too.  That is my opinion and I feel the same if the tables were turned and it was the woman cheating on her husband for no other reason than wanting "variety."   I don't know what love means to you but to me that's a shitty and shallow way to show it.   

As for your and the OP's shared opinion that a large percentage (80% according to the OP) of the men in this community share in the "I'm just here for variety" motive - I choose to believe that percentage is relatively small.  If I believed otherwise, my faith in humanity would be virtually eliminated. 

Danielle. Let me say you are a true class act.

In life as we all get older our needs as couples change somewhat. I get that. My wife gets that too. But to say you have a "good sex life and you are looking for another flavor" I don't get that at all. My wife and I play together sometimes (and that's a LOT OF FUN!!!!!) and also sometimes apart. The two of us have an "understanding" We're good with that. Kind of a "don't ask, don't tell" and it works for us. It's a two way street. We understand one another and respect each other to say the least.

I do not get the sneaking around on your SO and never will. 

 

 

 

[Guest]

55 minutes ago, sparkey600 said:

Danielle. Let me say you are a true class act.

In life as we all get older our needs as couples change somewhat. I get that. My wife gets that too. But to say you have a "good sex life and you are looking for another flavor" I don't get that at all. My wife and I play together sometimes (and that's a LOT OF FUN!!!!!) and also sometimes apart. The two of us have an "understanding" We're good with that. Kind of a "don't ask, don't tell" and it works for us. It's a two way street. We understand one another and respect each other to say the least.

I do not get the sneaking around on your SO and never will. 

Most the men who see us providers are married. I am happily paid to go away. Its a hooker no tell hotel, mind my own business. lol 

In my personal life I choose to be honest and not a liar. 

Edited February 16, 2016 by Nikki Holiday

[Guest]

I'd find it very surprising if anyone who really had a "healthy sex life" with their partner did anything like this. God knows I didn't when I had a healthy sex life. Even now, when things are even a little sexy at home, I don't even think about seeing other women, professional or otherwise.

And Danielle, I happen to know for a fact you're not the only provider who feels the way you do. I had a very long discussion about this with someone at one point. 

We're all just trying to make our way though life as best we can. We make our decisions, and we live with them. Personally, it's some odd mixture of exciting and humiliating to pay for it, even though I know many think that's silly. And I get caught up in the same vortex of thinking over and over. I'm doing it again right now. "Come on, man, you're not so bad. You can find someone without paying for it!" A whole different set of unmet needs. And it always seems like you almost have it all figured out. But you never quite get there. 

Not really as glamorous as it sounds like in the movies. 

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, easyfriend33 said:

I'd find it very surprising if anyone who really had a "healthy sex life" with their partner did anything like this. God knows I didn't when I had a healthy sex life. Even now, when things are even a little sexy at home, I don't even think about seeing other women, professional or otherwise.

And Danielle, I happen to know for a fact you're not the only provider who feels the way you do. I had a very long discussion about this with someone at one point. 

We're all just trying to make our way though life as best we can. We make our decisions, and we live with them. Personally, it's some odd mixture of exciting and humiliating to pay for it, even though I know many think that's silly. And I get caught up in the same vortex of thinking over and over. I'm doing it again right now. "Come on, man, you're not so bad. You can find someone without paying for it!" A whole different set of unmet needs. And it always seems like you almost have it all figured out. But you never quite get there. 

Not really as glamorous as it sounds like in the movies. 

When you paying for companionship, your supposed to be getting an arrangement with all the benefits and no drama. Something to keep in mind. I was raised by father and not my mother. Which is why I don't have most of the same emotional feelings that the majority of women do. Im kinda on whole another level. 

Edited February 16, 2016 by Nikki Holiday

[Danielle Rae]

20 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

When you paying for companionship, your supposed to be getting an arrangement with all the benefits and no drama. 

 

27 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

Most the men who see us providers are married. I am happily paid to go away. Its a hooker no tell hotel, mind my own business. lol 

In my personal life I choose to be honest and not a liar. 

Nikki, I think you might have misinterpreted my comments.  I responded to the thread as a "woman" (a human being with emotions, hopes, dreams, fears, etc) and NOT as an escort.  I'm aware that most of our clientele are married and I want to clarify that my personal feelings and opinions related to this thread do NOT play any part in my role as a Provider.  Of course, in our roles as Escorts - we are paid to provide a service and expected to be able to do so without the influence of our personal emotions/opinions, drama.  Obviously, I get that.   

I was simply taking my "Provider" hat off for a moment and sharing my thoughts as just another human being.  After all, underneath all the 'hooker' hype, we are all still human beings.  

xxox

Edited February 16, 2016 by Danielle Rae

[Guest]

5 minutes ago, Danielle Rae said:

 

Nikki, I think you might have misinterpreted my comments.  I responded to the thread as a "woman" (a human being with emotions, hopes, dreams, fears, etc) and NOT as an escort.  I'm aware that most of our clientele are married and I want to clarify that my personal feelings and opinions related to this thread do NOT play any part in my role as a Provider.  Of course, in our roles as Escorts - we are paid to provide a service and expected to be able to do so without the influence of our personal emotions/opinions, drama.  Obviously, I get that.   

I was simply taking my "Provider" hat off for a moment and sharing my thoughts as just another human being.  After all, underneath all the 'hooker' hype, we are all still human beings.  

xxox

 I did not misinterpret your comments. I understood exactly what you said. My comments have nothing to yours. 

Edited February 16, 2016 by Nikki Holiday

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, Danielle Rae said:

 

Nikki, I think you might have misinterpreted my comments.  I responded to the thread as a "woman" (a human being with emotions, hopes, dreams, fears, etc) and NOT as an escort.  I'm aware that most of our clientele are married and I want to clarify that my personal feelings and opinions related to this thread do NOT play any part in my role as a Provider.  Of course, in our roles as Escorts - we are paid to provide a service and expected to be able to do so without the influence of our personal emotions/opinions, drama.  Obviously, I get that.   

I was simply taking my "Provider" hat off for a moment and sharing my thoughts as just another human being.  After all, underneath all the 'hooker' hype, we are all still human beings.  

xxox

Not sure why this posted twice on my side. Sorry

Edited February 16, 2016 by Nikki Holiday

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

When you paying for companionship, your supposed to be getting an arrangement with all the benefits and no drama. Something to keep in mind. I was raised by father and not my mother. Which is why I don't have most of the same emotional feelings that the majority of women do. Im kinda on whole another level. 

I guess it all depends on what "all the benefits" means. Some of us guys, I think particularly after a certain age, feel the need to compete for a woman's affection. I think rejection at home, even if it's passive, kind of makes it worse. So we want to prove to ourselves that we still have something to offer a woman. It's silly, I know, but it is a fact. I have on one occasion had that need met at least a little bit by a provider. But it's very rare for a provider to fulfill more than the physical needs.  

[Guest]

1 minute ago, easyfriend33 said:

I guess it all depends on what "all the benefits" means. Some of us guys, I think particularly after a certain age, feel the need to compete for a woman's affection. I think rejection at home, even if it's passive, kind of makes it worse. So we want to prove to ourselves that we still have something to offer a woman. It's silly, I know, but it is a fact. I have on one occasion had that need met at least a little bit by a provider. But it's very rare for a provider to fulfill more than the physical needs.  

Very interesting, and good to know. I didn't realize how important woman's affection is that even passive could be hurt towards a man. Partly the reason I mention That I was raised by father is because sometime women are all emotional, I think i might be missing some of that because of how I raised. 

[Guest]

I just realized something else, I think us women (or maybe its just me) sometimes forget that, men actually have feelings too. 

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

Very interesting, and good to know. I didn't realize how important woman's affection is that even passive could be hurt towards a man. Partly the reason I mention That I was raised by father is because sometime women are all emotional, I think i might be missing some of that because of how I raised. 

Well I'll give you and all the ladies a top tip that will make you an ATF for all the guys. It doesn't take a lot to make us feel special. If I leave feeling like we had some little connection that you don't have with everyone else, I'll be back every time. I could be some special service, or an offer to spend a few extra minutes. I'd had a conversation with the woman I mentioned about getting dinner before hand next time I saw her. She gave me her rate for that and said it would be fun. The next day she texted me and said she would do dinner for free, because she genuinely enjoyed my company. And that did make me feel special, because I really believed it. I felt like we had genuinely gotten along well, and shared a lot of ourselves. So getting that little confirmation meant a lot. I did have one three hour session that lasted for something like 15 hours. That felt pretty special too.... what I remember of it. lol

 

Edited February 16, 2016 by easyfriend33

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, Nikki Holiday said:

I just realized something else, I think us women (or maybe its just me) sometimes forget that, men actually have feelings too. 

Some of us do, and we're probably just more trouble for you. 

[Bit Banger]

5 hours ago, Danielle Rae said:

 

Nikki, I think you might have misinterpreted my comments.  I responded to the thread as a "woman" (a human being with emotions, hopes, dreams, fears, etc) and NOT as an escort.  I'm aware that most of our clientele are married and I want to clarify that my personal feelings and opinions related to this thread do NOT play any part in my role as a Provider.  Of course, in our roles as Escorts - we are paid to provide a service and expected to be able to do so without the influence of our personal emotions/opinions, drama.  Obviously, I get that.   

I was simply taking my "Provider" hat off for a moment and sharing my thoughts as just another human being.  After all, underneath all the 'hooker' hype, we are all still human beings.  

xxox

Danielle, I thought the distinction of Provider hat/Person hat came through on your original post. One matches your professional profile; the other your personal life. Many of us have similar dualities. 

[Jez UaBriain]

On ‎1‎/‎26‎/‎2016 at 7:03 PM, Riggo said:

My personal favorite answer is to dowse yourself in gasoline and light a match!

Oh wait,  was lighting the match not part of the solution?

Hey, I once doused the x-mr. Jez in lighter fluid. Does that count? Anyway, it worked! He sat there the rest of the night and didn't bitch another word. LoL !

[Guest]

17 hours ago, Danielle Rae said:

Well I'm sorry if you find my comment offensive / judgmental.  Yes everyone has their own reasons for making their own choices in life.  And according to the OP who admittedly has a "healthy sex life with his wife" his only reason for participation in this hobby was that he "just really enjoys variety" and there was "No other way to say it" that is what brings him into the hobby...    Honestly, the "escort" me could care less what motivates participation in this 'hobby' - obviously  his dollar spends the same as any other.  However, the "woman" in me finds its incredibly sad, selfish, shallow and brutally inconsiderate to intentionally lie, cheat, deceive and betray the one person who you're supposed to hold dearest for "no other' reason than 'variety.'  Why let her live a lie?  What's fair about that when she is doing her part to provide 'a healthy sex life'?  Nobody likes to be lied to - tricked into believing things are a certain way when behind their back reality is the opposite.  Nobody likes to be deceived - especially by the one person who is supposed to have their back in this life.    If the only reason is "wanting variety" then the other partner is entitled to the truth and the opportunity to make their own choices based upon the reality of the relationship - it's their life too.  That is my opinion and I feel the same if the tables were turned and it was the woman cheating on her husband for no other reason than wanting "variety."   I don't know what love means to you but to me that's a shitty and shallow way to show it.   

As for your and the OP's shared opinion that a large percentage (80% according to the OP) of the men in this community share in the "I'm just here for variety" motive - I choose to believe that percentage is relatively small.  If I believed otherwise, my faith in humanity would be virtually eliminated. 

I hadn't realized there was a litmus test for eligibility to be a member of this community and to participate in the activities we spend so much time discussing. i.e. no married men who are cheating on their wives. If that's the litmus test, then yours and everyone else's clientele pool would be greatly diminished.  I hadn't realized that there was so much moral indignity on this site and downright contempt for the client(s) motivation(s) for participating in this activity. When it comes from the very community we're all a part of, it makes one pause as to his or her own motivations for being here in the first place. I expect this form of judgment from someone who isn't a member of this community but have to say not from within our own circles. 

Everyone in this community has their own reasons and, yes motivations, for actively participating and continuing to participate in this lifestyle (both providers and clients). When we start questioning one another's motives and eligibility to be here the entire community falls apart. Rather than finger pointing and second guessing one another in this community, my suggestion is we accept, unconditionally, one another for the individuals we are and leave the judgments out of it altogether.

I would like to address the percentage figure you quoted me on. I never quoted a percentage in my posts and can't speak for anyone other than myself since my reasons and my motivations are personal and private and will not be shared in an open forum.

Edited February 16, 2016 by MisterBigShot

[Guest]

MrBig, if you read closely, you'll see that there's a lot of judgment. I didn't used to see it. It's ironic to say the least. Lets face it, there are some not too nice words for women who do this, and most guys here don't use them. Most of us are grateful to have this option. But the ladies are sometimes surprisingly candid about what they really think of us. I had a woman totally call me out in PMs with zero understanding of my personal life or how difficult it is for me to do this kind of thing. We talked it out, but it did bother me. I judge myself plenty for this. The last thing I need from a provider is a guilt trip. Some understanding would be nice. if you can't manage that, please at least try to pretend. I don't judge you for your career choices. Don't judge me for something you can't ever understand. When I do this, I just want to smile and have fun for a short time and forget about why I'm there. Real life will be waiting for me when it's over. And you won't be there when I have to look at myself in the mirror and own my choices.

Edited February 16, 2016 by easyfriend33

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Jez UaBriain said:

Hey, I once doused the x-mr. Jez in lighter fluid. Does that count? Anyway, it worked! He sat there the rest of the night and didn't bitch another word. LoL !

Yes it does Jez and that was a very creative solution to the problem!

All that matters is the desired end result.