Need some advice on a NCNS

[acip]

9 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Blacklist isn't really a fair or accurate description. These naughty lists are for all sorts of offenses and issues. NCNSs don't deserve blacklisting in the true sense of the word. It's a misdemeanor. I think guys don't deserve to be blacklisted but they get a mark on their permanent record. So no it doesn't really hurt their record overall. It's also really easy to just create a new client personality and erase old history.

Why encourage posting what could potentially be untrue information? Why make it public? It looks bad for all parties involved and it's not always easily removed. The problem specifically with the OP is that he inadvertently admitted to using reviews as leverage. I am not calling the guy a liar I am just saying the information is one-sided and based on the limited knowledge and his attempts to use reviews as leverage the better advice to give is to not review. To not make an issue bigger than what it needs to be.

I've always assumed, maybe incorrectly, that a blacklist would include a note section of something for additional description.  So you could see "blacklisted for NCNS" vs "blacklisted for being a stalker" etc. and make your own decision.  

Oh sorry if I wasn't clear or we were talking about 2 different things, I was speaking generally, not about this specifically - this situation was definitely not handled correctly.  I'd prefer the inaccurate information not be posted, but if it is the lady can refute it.  So if a review is posted, and the lady is on the board, and she decides not to dispute any of it, I would tend to believe the story to be accurate and that there were any extenuating circumstances like the guy being a creep.  In this case, she has not had a chance to respond, so we only have one side, and we have to take it for what it is.

[boink36]

20 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

 

We ladies deserve to know if a gent has a pattern of behavior too and often we are denied that. Ladies lose more money in a week with cancellations and no shows than most guys probably lose in years of hobbying. Communication lacks in both directions and I doubt that the lesson learned from NCNS reviews is about communication.

In a business full of risk and imaginary standards we have to be careful. What is a hobby to you is a ladies livelihood. The information that you choose to share can make or break someone. Bad reviews and NCNS reviews are punitive and guys should serious contemplate their content before they submit them.

 

I always find it alarming when people who have no regard for rules or others safety start giving advice like this. I would think one who is constantly telling others how things should be done would be practicing what they preach. if not, how valuable is the sermon.

On 11/25/2015 at 7:30 AM, GinaXXX said:

Iinteresting you bring that up! Why not also mention that you were one of the providers that facilitated that compromised account in Denver in 2013, that resulted in the FBI causing a great deal of damage in the community?

I think you owe some people an apology (namely the providers you helped get busted) before you go slinging mud around and pontificating like you are also a reliable source of anything.

While I always thought that you were just used as a pawn, I now wonder exactly what you are up to.

Oh and btw, we always encouraged providers to do as much additional screening as they felt was necessary to keep themselves safe. I can find you posts from 10 years ago where I say that, over and over again.

Aways,

Gina

 

 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, acip said:

I've always assumed, maybe incorrectly, that a blacklist would include a note section of something for additional description.  So you could see "blacklisted for NCNS" vs "blacklisted for being a stalker" etc. and make your own decision.  

Yes, there is an option for additional description. 

[Lucy Kitten]

5 hours ago, boink36 said:

 

I always find it alarming when people who have no regard for rules or others safety start giving advice like this. I would think one who is constantly telling others how things should be done would be practicing what they preach. if not, how valuable is the sermon.

 

Now you're censoring me? If you trying to smear me is within the rules then defending myself should be too.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Now you're censoring me? If you trying to smear me is within the rules then defending myself should be too.

To be fair, it was Gina that called you out. Although the funny thing is, at the end of the day, it seems to me you two actually agree with one another.

[Guest]

The OP gave the lovely lady two weeks to respond.  I think he has a right to write the review, threat or not at this point.

[Everhard]

On 12/12/2015 at 8:40 PM, Lucy Kitten said:

The problem specifically with the OP is that he inadvertently admitted to using reviews as leverage. I am not calling the guy a liar I am just saying the information is one-sided and based on the limited knowledge and his attempts to use reviews as leverage the better advice to give is to not review. To not make an issue bigger than what it needs to be.

Interesting perspective and educational for me. My intent was absolutely NOT leverage, but rather to let her know what I felt I HAD to do as a member of this community. I see how it landed wrong, though. An email saying, "I changed my mind" would have been perfectly acceptable.

That said, I changed my mind and will not be posting a NCNS based on Nikki's advice above. I consider this community, and its opinion, to be valuable and got the advice I sought. Thanks all.

[Guest]

6 hours ago, everhard-3488 said:

Interesting perspective and educational for me. My intent was absolutely NOT leverage, but rather to let her know what I felt I HAD to do as a member of this community. I see how it landed wrong, though. An email saying, "I changed my mind" would have been perfectly acceptable.

That said, I changed my mind and will not be posting a NCNS based on Nikki's advice above. I consider this community, and its opinion, to be valuable and got the advice I sought. Thanks all.

She had two weeks to contact you. She didn't. You had every right to email her, letting her know, you where going to post a NCNS. Don't let anyone tell you differently. If she was working with an agency or didn't show up for a job outside of hooking this would never be tolerated. And there would be some sort of consequence. For what ever reason you have made the decision to not write the review. That too is your choice. 

You are clearly not a creep. There are lots of other girls who won't blow you off. 

Edited December 15, 2015 by Nikki Holiday

[pitbull]

On December 10, 2015 at 10:26 AM, MisterBigShot said:

Just give  NCNS review and don't worry about being blacklisted with this ASP. There are many providers who would be happy to see you as scheduled on this site. Your honest assessment might cause the Provider in question to offer a rebuttal to your review explaining what happened on her end since she's offered nothing up to this point for NCNS after scheduling. If she'd offered an explanation for NCNS at any time up to this point, I'd advise you to give her another chance if you're willing but since that hasn't happened write the review as it happened..or in this case didn't.

I respect the opinions NOT in favor, but I agree, write the NCNS if everything was as you say it was. 

[Guest]

On December 10, 2015 at 10:26 AM, MisterBigShot said:

Just give  NCNS review and don't worry about being blacklisted with this ASP. There are many providers who would be happy to see you as scheduled on this site. Your honest assessment might cause the Provider in question to offer a rebuttal to your review explaining what happened on her end since she's offered nothing up to this point for NCNS after scheduling. If she'd offered an explanation for NCNS at any time up to this point, I'd advise you to give her another chance if you're willing but since that hasn't happened write the review as it happened..or in this case didn't.

It's depending on the who the provider was that pulled the NCNS, if she has his personal info of any sort, its not in his best interest to write that NCNS. (not all providers act like this) He should worry about the consequences. Many guys have suffered over being honest. Providers are know to show up your place of employment and much more. 

 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2015 by Nikki Holiday

[Lucy Kitten]

On 12/12/2015 at 11:56 AM, boink36 said:

 

I always find it alarming when people who have no regard for rules or others safety start giving advice like this. I would think one who is constantly telling others how things should be done would be practicing what they preach. if not, how valuable is the sermon.

 

delete delete delete.

[Lucy Kitten]

12 hours ago, everhard-3488 said:

Interesting perspective and educational for me. My intent was absolutely NOT leverage, but rather to let her know what I felt I HAD to do as a member of this community. I see how it landed wrong, though. An email saying, "I changed my mind" would have been perfectly acceptable.

That said, I changed my mind and will not be posting a NCNS based on Nikki's advice above. I consider this community, and its opinion, to be valuable and got the advice I sought. Thanks all.

Why did you feel you had to? If reviews were mandatory then there would be hundreds more. I think you feel compelled to share negative info because people "deserve" to know.

If the reason you decided to not review was out of retaliation well that's just sad and one provider's opinion. I got the feeling that the majority agreed that you shouldn't review because you tried to leverage reviews. I wasn't alone in that opinion but it didn't seem to be the one that persuaded you. I am assuming that if you took the advice you are afraid of retaliation. Provider retaliation is about as common as welfare fraud, not very common at all.

[Everhard]

9 hours ago, Lucy Kitten said:

Why did you feel you had to? If reviews were mandatory then there would be hundreds more. I think you feel compelled to share negative info because people "deserve" to know.

If the reason you decided to not review was out of retaliation well that's just sad and one provider's opinion. I got the feeling that the majority agreed that you shouldn't review because you tried to leverage reviews. I wasn't alone in that opinion but it didn't seem to be the one that persuaded you. I am assuming that if you took the advice you are afraid of retaliation. Provider retaliation is about as common as welfare fraud, not very common at all.

No personal information was shared so I was safe.

I decided not to write a review because my email was perceived as a threat to the provider (by responding providers on this thread). That opened my eyes to my poor choice of words. I respect what you ladies do and the unique difficulties that pertain to it. In a perfect world, I would have left off the comment about writing a review and simply sent an email asking what happened. I would then have waited 2 weeks and posted the review.

[Everhard]

Can I get back to finding a hot lady to keep me warm on this cold, snowy day now?

[Everhard]

On 12/11/2015 at 2:40 PM, Lucy Kitten said:

Many guys don't show their true colors until after they screen and for all we know he could have sent that "forced to write a review" email 15 minutes after he got stood up.

I sent the email days later. I texted and called with a "Are we still?" on message at our appt time and 15 minutes later.

[Guest]

After looking at your profile, starting off your reviewing career with an NCNS may not be the best move.  Especially after dropping the email threat...