The "No Black Men" ASP

[Guest]

This may be the most schizophrenic thing I've read on this board.

I'm not black, but I'll tell you, when I see this in an ad, it does put me off a bit. Reality check. If you treat people differently based on the color of their skin, you are a racist. I believe that's the definition.

I get it. There's a culture out there that I am, thank God, not a part of. But I have news for you. It's not just black men who act that way. If I were a provider, I'd want no part of that either. But they're not hard to identify. Why bother to post that in an ad? If someone contacts you in a way that's not appropriate, just ignore them. If they're decent, respectful, and easy to deal with, let them book time with you. Why bring race into it? The objectionable behavior described has a lot more to do with class than race.

Very true, I agree with you.

[Bit Banger]

Where is the "face palm, not this again!" picture?

This seems to be a constant topic, hashed & re-hashed. Not only on this board, but most of the others in which I have participated. And we still don't (won't) have a definitive answer.

The sad truth is that profiling isn't nice, but it is effective. If you are offended by a YL putting this in her ads, then don't see her. Forcing her to see someone against her wishes just leads to bad sessions for both parties.

[Guest]

Where is the "face palm, not this again!" picture?

This seems to be a constant topic, hashed & re-hashed. Not only on this board, but most of the others in which I have participated. And we still don't (won't) have a definitive answer.

The sad truth is that profiling isn't nice, but it is effective. If you are offended by a YL putting this in her ads, then don't see her. Forcing her to see someone against her wishes just leads to bad sessions for both parties.

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. Who said that? I'm not even suggesting that they not put it in their ad if that's how they feel. One more data point for me to base a decision on.

You offer some good advice. If you're offended, don't see her. Similarly, if you aren't interested in a the topic of a thread, don't read it.

[Bit Banger]

...

You offer some good advice. If you're offended, don't see her. Similarly, if you aren't interested in a the topic of a thread, don't read it.

True, but then when I use the "New Posts" feature, this topic will always pop up until I bother to read it. This happens all the time with the local 411 threads which I have little interest in since I'm currently out of town. Eventually they fill my screen, so I read them just to clear them from the search.

My basic point was that this topic has been discussed adinfinitum with no new information. (These threads seldom out the ASP responsible for initiating the them.) Yet they stir the blood & discord, like several other forbidden topics. Perhaps the explanations given should be gathered into a Sticky post and the topic removed from the realm of general discussion.

[Guest pejo]

Perhaps the explanations given should be gathered into a Sticky post and the topic removed from the realm of general discussion.

+1. Also, there seems to be a market opportunity for providers who have no issue with AA men. Why not post "I love black men" in your ad? There is clearly demand out there.

[Lucy Kitten]

True, but then when I use the "New Posts" feature, this topic will always pop up until I bother to read it. This happens all the time with the local 411 threads which I have little interest in since I'm currently out of town. Eventually they fill my screen, so I read them just to clear them from the search.

My basic point was that this topic has been discussed adinfinitum with no new information. (These threads seldom out the ASP responsible for initiating the them.) Yet they stir the blood & discord, like several other forbidden topics. Perhaps the explanations given should be gathered into a Sticky post and the topic removed from the realm of general discussion.

So change your viewing method. You're just making excuses for your participation. There may never be any new information but there may never be real understanding as to why this is so bothersome. It's a sucky thing to feel discriminated against and even suckier when those who just don't understand the gripe and are tired of it and just want to file it away so their TOB viewing method isn't bothered.

Part of growing old with a forum like this is putting up with the rehashing of subjects because there will always be people it's new to.

[Bit Banger]

... It's a sucky thing to feel discriminated against and even suckier when those who just don't understand the gripe ...

This gaijin is well aware of what discrimination feels like.

I have also been the victim of affirmative action (denied an internship because I'm a White Male). Look closer before you cast stones.

[Lucy Kitten]

This gaijin is well aware of what discrimination feels like.

I have also been the victim of affirmative action (denied an internship because I'm a White Male). Look closer before you cast stones.

You left out the part of the quote about caring about others troubles. If you do in fact know how it feels then you should have no trouble showing just the slightest bit of sympathy rather than complain about how it plugs your feed.

[Bit Banger]

It seems that there's none quite as intolerant as those demanding tolerance of others.

My views are different than yours. Earth shattering!

Let's just get over it.

Edited April 2, 2015 by Bit Banger
Added thought

[Lucy Kitten]

It seems that there's none quite as intolerant as those demanding tolerance of others.

I only lack tolerance for those who have no regard for others and those who are so high up on their horse they can't see the ground anymore.

[frankenthaler91]

I only lack tolerance for those who have no regard for others and those who are so high up on their horse they can't see the ground anymore.

Once the OP answers my question posed to him, we shall have the answer as to why some ladies prefer not to see him.

So, YOLO, put your big boy pants on and answer the question. As a AA man, why are YOU not attracted to AA ladies?

[Guest]

My views are different than yours. Earth shattering!

Let's just get over it.

It's funny. I didn't expect that incorporating this "hobby" (don't know why I hate that term so much) would teach me real life lessons, but indeed it has. And that's one of the big ones. Basically goes something like this.

1. Everyone is crazy.

2. Because of that, everyone does weird stuff. But nobody likes to admit it.

3. Everyone thinks their weird stuff is way less weird than anyone else's, and they love to judge people who do different weird stuff, in part because #5. And it makes sense to them because #1.

4. One of the keys to happiness is realizing #1 and understanding that you'll never explain your crazy to someone else's crazy.

5. We're attracted to other people who's crazy lines up, more or less, with our own because that supports an illusion we all have that WE are the ONLY ones who aren't crazy.

6. #5 is one of the best examples of just how absurdly crazy we all really are. There's no getting past the crazy, but acceptance of the reality of it is a giant step forward.

7. Very few people make it as far as #6. The ones who do tend to be a lot happier, and can take Bit Bangers advice to "get over it.".

That's a lighthearted post, but may be one of the more profound things I've ever said. I think I just outlined my next book. For what it's worth, I think Lucy expresses her opinions in a pretty respectful way, and she sticks to it, even if her opinion isn't popular. I kinda like that. Because #5.

Be well, everyone. And stop taking life seriously. We all do something that most people would call crazy. We kinda gotta look out for each other. There's enough "normal" people looking to make our lives difficult. Different as we may be, we're all on the same team.

[Lucy Kitten]

It seems that there's none quite as intolerant as those demanding tolerance of others.

My views are different than yours. Earth shattering!

Let's just get over it.

Profound did you just figure that out??

[Lucy Kitten]

It's funny. I didn't expect that incorporating this "hobby" (don't know why I hate that term so much) would teach me real life lessons, but indeed it has. And that's one of the big ones. Basically goes something like this.

1. Everyone is crazy.

2. Because of that, everyone does weird stuff. But nobody likes to admit it.

3. Everyone thinks their weird stuff is way less weird than anyone else's, and they love to judge people who do different weird stuff, in part because #5. And it makes sense to them because #1.

4. One of the keys to happiness is realizing #1 and understanding that you'll never explain your crazy to someone else's crazy.

5. We're attracted to other people who's crazy lines up, more or less, with our own because that supports an illusion we all have that WE are the ONLY ones who aren't crazy.

6. #5 is one of the best examples of just how absurdly crazy we all really are. There's no getting past the crazy, but acceptance of the reality of it is a giant step forward.

7. Very few people make it as far as #6. The ones who do tend to be a lot happier, and can take Bit Bangers advice to "get over it.".

That's a lighthearted post, but may be one of the more profound things I've ever said. I think I just outlined my next book. For what it's worth, I think Lucy expresses her opinions in a pretty respectful way, and she sticks to it, even if her opinion isn't popular. I kinda like that. Because #5.

Be well, everyone. And stop taking life seriously. We all do something that most people would call crazy. We kinda gotta look out for each other. There's enough "normal" people looking to make our lives difficult. Different as we may be, we're all on the same team.

I can dig it

[Guest]

I can dig it

Because #5.

[Seeking ~P]

Where is the "face palm, not this again!" picture?

....