TrystinTrimble

I can take a pretty good guess who this cat might be, LOL.

Bad Dragon...FUCK YEAH! COMIN TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING DAY, YEAHHHH.... ALSO...I could totally see myself welcoming a Tantus Uncut to the family. Looks like fun.

Fuck me running. I could go on for ages, and no joke...I own every toy that is remotely appealing to me except the fucking machine (too expensive!). But in the interest of not being a narcissistic bore... Hitachi Magic Wand is #1, always. Always. Ben wa balls. As many as i can fit. Includes weighted cue ball because masturbation is way more boring without one than billiards is. GLASS EGGPLANT. Comes in many sizes and is f-ing amazeballs. blush soft jelly dong. For when only a half mast "shower" will do the job. Nouvelle No. 5 (discontinued but can buy backstock from the british ) the most exquisite fuck ever, but only for the extreme penetration lovers. Challenging but rewarding and looks VERY awesome when its finally ALMOST there. Pop this one all the way in at a very cautious pace. Srsly. Dont hurt yourself. aaaand for you sustainable living activists... produce. Although commonly seen in weird porn, ffs there are too many things that are not a banana to actually use a banana. Skys the limit really, but use common sense when selecting your fruit fuck buddy...like, avoid prickly pears and pineapples and dragonfruit. While they look sexy enough, you WILL give them a bogus number as you gtfo the next morning since they simply tear you some new junk with no fucks given.***wash thoroughly or wrap it up unless you wanna deal with 18 years of their immature bullshit. Really, they SUCK. Doug28. Most lifelike AND most low maintenance. Requires no batteries and brings no drama. Great all around toy and is good for an occasional non sexual favor. ***OKAY. AS YOU ALL CAN NOW SEE...I NEVER SAID I WASNT A NARCISSISTIC WHORE. Huge difference.

Yeah. I'm pretty funny and humor is how I deal with the shit sandwiches that I am handed sometimes. But I've been doing this about a decade and a half and believe me when I say that I don't bitch nearly as much as I could. Some people like to take little Jabs at me when I do and I don't get why. The only thing I that I can draw from it is that some people just would like me to shut up and don't want to hear anything except all the sun shiny stuff. All I have to say to that is you should ask my mom how she much luck she's had with that and then try to guess what your chances will be telling me to shut up. furthermore somebody there earlier said that everyone who calls me is a dick. Given that I never said that and that it is definitely not true then I must ask why the person who said that is so incline to word that as if I am a constantly negative person who poisons the atmosphere. Facts of the matter is as long as HE (he knows nwho he is) still calls me, I could never just say that only dicks call me. Sigh <3

This is something I WAY LOVE about being self employed. If I'm willing to eat the cost of their "business" and or can handle a small group of people thinking I'm too harsh then I can say any damn thing I want to them. Some people care about being well-liked and considered a nice person by whoever and that is something they are free to do too. But as it goes I simply don't care if I'm liked by everyone or not. Don't get me wrong I don't go out of my way to be all cunty nor do I try to get people to to feel offended by me, and it's not fun try to get along in the world when I'm surrounded by people who don't like me. But I'll be damned if I ever give a fuck about the feelings of someone who makes it everyday business to try to manipulate me or talk down to me. ...Like really you're offended that you are being a douche nozzle and i had the balls to not let you be one to me? Sounds like another provider is a better idea.

Well if nothing else it is one nice tidy little insult...

Ive been set up before, and walked my cocky little butt right into their snare. After that...well lets just say my hoe-dar is now expertly calibrated. The cops are not so inclined to say and do shit that could repel me. They tend to ask for 2 hr appts because $$$ and always ALWAYS will try to use burners and bully the prey into trusting him anonymously. In my case, he name dropped a former client and was so disarming on the phone that i FORGOT to screen him. The ones who snagged me did NOT need to catch me talking about activities, money, or any of that silly "proof" shit. They got in, and they already had me. Probation... ...and since then just a string of losses meant to strip me of any agency i had and isolate me from safe options. They will definitely do their best to deliver women into the vicinity of dangerous people in their heroic mission to eliminate...uh...exploitation of us.. They even waited for my mother to show up so they could tell her, LOUDLY AND IN MY DRIVEWAY...what a lousy human being her firstborn really was. It was awful, it was excessive in cruelty, and it was way more for their enjoyment than public safety. So...in short...it takes a real piece of shit cop to do this detail work so eagerly. Funny side note though: the decoy accidentally pulled the knob entirely off my guest bath from the inside. So....that SOB was, unbeknownst to me, trapped in my tiny bathroom for like 15 minutes before I bothered to go check on why he hadnt made it upstairs yet. He was probably expecting a serial killer clown to appear like "Lets play a GAME, Fuckface..." But seriously, had i known he was about to yank my magic carpet from under me...I am sure I would have left him to his logistical problem in favor of going shopping . What if...

TWAT. Now thats a word that says it all right there. Its like combining "dumb cunt" "nobody likes you," and "stop posting your dinners on fb, you unintriguing basic bitch!" One word, one nice and tidy little twat

Space nerds. FTW

I dont reckon its any higher than most of us ladies. Its likely that I just bitch it out more frequently than some do. I must confess though, that I have found the general attitude toward us by the men has shifted noticeably and its left me more than a little disenchanted, which definitely means more are being cut off at the knees over slight misbehaviour than I can say have ever been. I can definitely be a bitch sometimes. If you are trying to say that you wonder what I DID to get the dickish behavior...well...all I have to say is that I never Initiate contact, ever. They call ME, and I am always initially friendly. The ones who cant even make it past screening love to bug a stranger at 2 am and they generally have no problem saying whatever intrusive and icky things they want. They also are quick to say that im being too harsh on them and then turn the breakdown around on me. "Uh...so youre saying that you are now uninterested after I told you to please read my ad because you were discussing rates and could find the info there..." Ultimately, I think the dicks i deal with are more courageous when they are safely away from the people they are screwing with. I think its particularly idiotic when I am made into this harsh and mean spirited chick....by some guy who is willing to call a total stranger at 4 am.and ask her if she swallows, and refuses to screen citing "i cant follow your stupud directions, so Here MY TERMS are, enjoy baby" so...why? Idk. They call me first 100% of the time, and it appears that they cant endure even the slightest bit of disinterest.

I used to not participate in reference giving at all, but have eased up and now give references real quick if asked for them. I still do not ever use or seek them because its just not worth the extra work and often its bogus anyway. What chaps my ass is when I get a reference request and the guy using my name has no favor with me due to his neanderthal ways or he shorted me on our visit, or he asked me all kinds of personal and degrading shit and now I wont see him anyway. One guy recently gave my REAL NAME as a reference and he only knew it because he stumbled upon it. Guys who were/are always total dicks to me are more than welcome to use my name as a reference but dont be surprised when my reference is all truth and all not good. I have replied with this paragraph before.... "Yes, I have seen Mr. Bigglesworth before. He isnt L.E. He wont strangle you or make you put on lotion he lowered to you in a basket until youre jacket-worthy. However, he IS my most dreaded client. He tries to impose his awful cooking on me for 30 mins before we get started. He wastes a shitload of my time before the activities start, then tries to short me 40 bucks and makes me feel guilty for "being all about money." He CRIES. OFTEN. He is, in short, a total emotional vampire who cant walk out the front door without that one teddy bear or it ruins his entire week. Hes also condescending and interrupts everything i say and says I NEVER LISTEN. Enjoy! " You would think that a guy would want to give a reference who isnt openly angry with him inside of an hour EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. That just makes no sense.

Shut up Greg

Thats what ive been trying to find words for. As for a full memoir, my life is all around too much of this forehead smackery and not nearly enough public adoration to call for a full length book. Any memoir written about my days would either be totally fragmented and hard to follow, a bunch of "shit people have said to make me dry up," or a 300 page narcissistic-leaning regurgitation of life lessons written about 1000 times (by people who actually made a difference) already, and pictures of my dinners. Not interesting even to ME. Now a quick reader...I'd call it a "shit-short" because that would be snicker inducing. Itd be geared straight towards people who can't watch anything longer than Robot Chicken and find amusement in other peoples shady-ish encounters... Titled... "You Muthafuckas Need Jesus! ...and other shit nice ladies never do say."

Although I aim to please and be someones bright spot in their life...I also know I want nothing to do with someone if the following things (some are definitely recalled with my own sarcastic wording LOL) are asked of me and we have never met: -"so, I know that you SAID you require no contact from burner numbers, but IM simply too important and too happily married to use the number you need for your 1 step process, and I am already deciding youre a scandalous lot lizard who is ultimately out to ruin both our reputations...so I used a burner anyway because I JUST HAVE TOO MANY THINGS YOU CAN RUIN FOR FUN. But its okay, I am a GREAT guy and you can go ahead and trust me 100%. Is that okay? When will you be here" ***Best part of THAT is that he will be asking me to come to his home. Where his kids live. Where his wife LIVES. Some people just cant be allowed to talk. Geez. -"oh youre at my complex now? Great! So now that youre here, i just wanted to verify that you are okay with BB and oh yeah I only have 80. Once we are totally in agreement ill tell you WHERE i can be found in this huge apartmemt community." ***anyone who pulls this stunt is a certifiable piece of shit. That is all. -"okay, thanks for taking my appointment for 29 minutes from now. Think I could get you to wear a black one piece mini-dress, beige 6 inch strappy stillettos with a FLAT tone finish, no perfume, gluten-free waterproof mascara, a green cocktail ring on your left middle finger, a two tier pearl necklace, and a pair of black thigh highs in 20-denier? And could you not be late, because i am an important man and i like my hour long blow jobs WHEN I EXPEXT THEM?! Does that work for you, love?" ***the fuck. And the grand prize winner.... "Uh...yeah...do you think we could like....connect on a soul level. I want to KNOW you feel as intertwined as the guy and the creepy ship were in "Event Horizon." I want to stare into your soul and KNOW that, for just one hour, you CANT LIVE WITHOUT ME. CAN we do that one thing baby?" ***No. Go fuck yourself. I gotta save one thing for the one I love, and that one thing is the windows to my soul. I really should write a satirical memoir or something...it would require very little embellishment!

Oh its definitely happened! Its gone very badly before, but theres a one time client turned wonderful friend, and maybe we can be more one day. We maintain a strong friendship and im pretty sure id give everything i own to be able to wake up to that face each day

Given that it was ME who you are referring to, please allow me to reply in a way that isn't in any way unclear. You messaged me. I did not receive the notification. P411 sometimes sucks like that. The very first i saw of your interest is a message sent to my hobby phone that said "i want a half hour with you" and like NOTHING ELSE. THEN, I next receive a message from you basically saying that I lack basic courtesy for not responding immediately. I explained to you that I didnt see it, and you were STILL condescending, accusatory, and unfriendly. Not once did you say HI, share your name and age as my ad clearly instructs for you fellas to do...you know...as a COURTESY; and you essentially talked down to me like i was some kind of incompetent dunce who is horribly inconsiderate. Furthermore, I happen to still have messages from a few weeks ago where we....surprise...had a disagreement about the manner in which you were coming at me. You were so offended that I expected you to be somewhat personable and you said I was crazy and that you were going to block me. I was fine with that given that your attitude towards people who dont kiss your ass...well it just SUCKS. BAD. SO....then 3 weeks later, YOU ARE HITTING ME UP AGAIN? What that means is that either you are looking to punish SOMEONE in SOME way over something that is YOUR PROBLEM...OR that you DID NOT EVEN REMEMBER TALKING TO ME TO BEGIN WITH. I had just actually read the review you wrote on Hot Violet and thought to myself "this review seems very slanted and manipulative in wording. HMM." Given that you seem to abhor anything that might indicate that us ladies are actual people, i would advise anyone reading about Miss Violet to consider the source of that unflattering review. I would imagine this guy thinks anything NOT ABOUT HIM AND ONLY HIM is a bunch of weird crap. Finally, you, with ZERO ACTUAL REASON to think so, come on here.and basically imply that I purposely ignored you in HOPES that i MIGHT get a longer and more lucrative appointment. Thats plain insulting...but come on. If i get a message for your time spot that is for MORE money, from someone whos even SLIGHTLY NICE, who isnt already being a MAJOR bully and talking shit to me like im your personal whore with no life worth tending to lest you wanna demand a HH in a rude tone...well sir, youre goddamned right I'd pass on you every single time for that "better offer." We dont like being shit upon by critical, entitled, negative, and highly DIFFICULT people who dont even follow through on their promises to block us when manipulation and demands are ineffective. So, yeah. Consider this reply my official denial of your appointment request. I simply dont get paid enough to be talked to the way you have done meTWICE over a half hour appt. Youre not nice enough and also way out of touch. Try being less of a twat and see how much your hobby improves for you. Also dont message me again, because I (nor other ladies) am not having the crappy talk and you have NO RIGHT to be so inflexible when WE DO WHAT WE DO FOR YOU FELLAS.

Yet those gossipy ganders call anything human out of our mouths "Drama." I sometimes ponder the real meaning of that word. To many, it is a bunch of overblown theatrics. To some, it is a fine art upon which to step into a nunber of different characters... And to people who throw it around and use it to shame and silence those who bring up ANY unwanted conversational topic...it is simply a dismissal of validation and a way of saying "I dont want to even act like you are someone I care to hear a word from." Also commonly used to condense the statement "I am unwilling to treat most people with respect and unless they can just accept it then I will have to avoid a well deserved ass chewing simply by bringing up that they arent being pleasant enough whilst neglecting to acknowledge that they are rightfully pissed at me." More tham once, I have been forced to point out that the reason for my "making drama" isnt that Im a troublesome person and that in order to fairly avoid drama one must not BE drama

I wasnt smoking when I made that profile. But yeah youre correct indeed. Will edit.

I assure you, It is usually a well rewarded wait. I am apologetically not as adept at "getting it together" as I would prefer. I simply have too many plates to keep spinning and theyre full. I would never want anyone to feel as if they have been shortchanged and I am continuously trying to improve this character flaw of mine. Its f-ing frustrating when something so commonly doable just escapes me year after year. I do care...however my brain likes to work against my best intentions and i will never stop caring or trying...

I walk into an appt, and generally I will spend 10-15 minutes getting centered, De-nicotining my breath/hair/fingers, and making sure I have my supplies ready to go. I may make some small talk but I do not consider that part of an hour and I only ask that the gentleman not be hot on my ass about needing a few mins off clock before we start. If I am aware that the guy is on lunch, has a place he must be at a certain time, or if Im running behind...then I will make that more like 3-5 mins so he can enjoy this experience too. I never just open our conversation with personal things unless it is directly pertinent to our talking...maybe Ill explain that I was late because I care for a parent and said parent is horrifically unconcerned about anyone's ease in helping her so she hijacked my time with zero fucks. If they want to know more, ill explain while im setting up...but jesus. The whole "complaining to garner sympathy or money" is something I dont think works well and its undignified bs for a respectable southern lady IMO. When someone does it to ME, it only makes me more guarded and more likely to be stingy with my resources. As a former stripper, I learned not to be like the girls who used that as their main pitch for dances. We used to call it the "Mama-Martyr Technique" and it was mainly employed by single moms who would tell custimers that if they didnt do well that night, their kids would have no dinner/school supplies/whatever... but I am here to tell you, that the only ones who used that approach religiously were simply irresponsible as fuck and thought that having kids magically made their accountability go away when they decided to buy drugs or nail appts instead. The real bad bitches knew that their kids were for HER to lose sleep over and that work was not the place to be a downer. Also, who the hell sits with a guy and tells him ANY of that kid stuff? All that does is make him more aware of that c-section scar that she DOESNT wish for him to take into account... Anyway. Point is...even if I do talk about my personal life any, or take a few mins upfront to get my game face on....its not gonna be on you guys' time because thats what I consider fair.

...or maybe he is just an asshole. There I said it. The guys an asshole.

I just got a pretty bad review in return for candidly answering questions that he asked me. I highly doubt I will be able to let my guard down and answer future questions. Perhaps theyre genuinely curious, or could looking for information that they can use to burn my ass like a ghost pepper . The latter will be something that has to be considered as a possibility and I hate having to question peoples motives like that just because one person made me a fool. I definitely cannot say i complain to garner extra tips...i already know that there is probably nothing that will make THAT happen as of late. What i can say is that my stock answer will just have to be one that is pleasing to the ear, as that is the right answer and the answer they want you to have. If I tell someone asking me about personal things that its all sunshine and blowjobs in my camp, then maybe one day it will become reality instead of my feel-good answer that im giving out of necessity. I still just cant fathom why someone would ask me things that he doesnt want to hear about, act all genuine and interested to my face, then turn it into such a twisted thing. I can only guess that someone who does that is just a sneaky and mean spirited individual or that he was having a really bad time in his own life and wanted to punish someone he wouldnt have to deal with afterwards. Fact is, I wish more than anything that i didnt have to try to determine whether they want the sugar coated correct answer or the truth. I also would give everything I own for those 2 answers to be much more similar than they are.

Hahaaaaa! As someone whos left V unsatisfied (a long while ago), I had a hearty chuckle at this!

Oh yeah. Theres always that one m-fer who does...more like three, really. Very, very, VERY few of these elusive "freebies" have ever been given by me in 15 yrs...and not one of them was asked for, and they all involved having feelings for the lucky guy. He knows who he is And he knows he better not brag either

How have I never known of this before now? Ah yes. Lucille Bogan. This is some dog'gone filthy treasure riiiiiiight here. Thanks to last night's gentleman for showing me this genre of music. Sheeee-it. Enjoy.