dodgerman

Well, after listening to what many of you had to say, I suppose it's my duty, as the original poster, to weigh in again.....First of all, I'm not asking about myself here. Frankly, I just had a date last night, and the provider (how about lovely lady instead?) didn't even know about a BL. I could very well be on one, too, as Vassago so eloquently described from his perspective. My "friend" is indeed a friend who does not read the forums but does do semi-regular reviews. Both he and I agree that unless there is something that NEEDS to be shared with other clients, we don't write bad reviews. Many times, if YYMV is the case, which it often is, a negative review is of little value for either party. So, as some of you seem to be very interested in the parties involved, I can tell you that my FRIEND is older, a true gentleman, respects the ladies, has walked away a time or two when things weren't "right", and he doesn't always perform like a young stud....maybe the latter is a reason to be BL'd by providers who are equally horny but are not fulfilled? Just a thought, much like others have proposed in this thread. Second, I never once asked about finding his BL status. [snip] It has [been] made very clear, this is the exclusive domain of the providers and one of the few ways they have to protect themselves. Note that I share her sentiment in that I would never dream of providing the names of the 2 gals who BL'd my friend. I know many of you would like to know but how does having that information help come to a conclusion? It's the same as if I were to provide the name of my friend....how would that help anything? What would happen is that [ASP] would go running to her laptop and look up the guy. Of course, she would never share that information in return, would she :-) Guilty until proven innocent? Really? Thanks, Vassago and Wannabebad for your exemplary replies to this point. I'll say nothing more than I agree. Wholeheartedly. I don't know what providers do with the contacts we gents provide for screening purposes. Do you call them? Do you believe them? I suppose that I would put more weight into the actual words gleaned from an actual conversation, maybe even an email. People tend to be more truthful when they're FTF as opposed to hidden behind an electronic curtain, perhaps not nameless but certainly faceless. I do want to give shouts out to [snip] colleagues pFunk, inkspot, Wannabebad, gr8owl and Vassago. Each of you have provided valuable tips that I will pass on to my friend. I'll even use some of them myself. As I do have a few "friends" who are providers, who I have seen for years - and they know and don't care that I'm not exclusive - I could ask one of them to find out if/why my friend has been BL'd. But I won't. Nor would I presume to ask them to look up my name (I'll assume that since they still see me I'm either not on the list or they don't give a f*ck). And you know why? Because there's an inherent trust and respect there, one I would not dare violate not b/c they'd drop me from their "to see" list...no, b/c it's just not right. And in spite of the fact that I may be judged "guilty until proven innocent", I'm pretty sure only a few providers actually live by that mantra. So, as the originator of the post, I've gotten - for my friend and serendipitously for myself - all I need. As such, you all are free to carry on the thread as you see fit. I'll be lurking, reading any new tidbits of value, but I'll probably not weigh in any longer. That is, unless I see a need to defend the virtues of us "guilty" clients......Thanks again, all, for an outstanding exchange of ideas. What a wonderful country!

I'm sure my friend, if given the chance to establish rapport, would have no trouble selling himself just fine. It's all about someone taking the time to give a guy the chance. Blacklists, whitelists, the fact that these are mere tools, conceived of and run by actual human beings, who can easily be as honest or corrupt as they wish to be, it really all comes down to doing what is right. Alas, what is "right" sits in a very grey area. So, I guess I'll share with my friend to do a little self-evaluation, maybe contact a few providers, and know that there are some straight-up gals who may yet give him the benefit of the doubt. Thanks, Valentina, for being real.

Thanks, pfunk. Good info and thanks for sharing your experiences. You're right: It is impossible to be everything to everyone. We should all live and let live.

I don't know if this is an appropriate question but is there any way to see if someone is being "blacklisted" (for lack of a better term) by TOB providers. Seems a gent never had problems securing a date before recently....now the last two he's contacted have said "No thanks" without giving a reason. On top of it, he's given nothing but good reviews so something is amiss. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.