urfan

seems to me if all the hookers in the world put the right kind of pressure on all the whore-chasin politicians in the world, it might just make it past committee for a full vote

that purse don't go with them high-tops

well buckeroo the stock show may be over but there's still a powerful good reason to think twice before engaging in this kind of dick-fracturin' horseplay http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/01/26/here-most-dangerous-sexual-position/?intcmp=ob_article_footer_text&intcmp=obnetwork but then again 'barrel racing' may still be on the menu

guess it depends on whether you're paying her to pretend she's your girlfriend or if you're pay her to let you pretend you're her boyfriend.

a/k/a/ ratfuck

you don't have to be an NFL hall of fame fame player turned NFL analyst the night after covering the Super Bowl just trying to hook up or nuthin' but wtf? http://www.people.com/article/warren-sapp-arrested-prostitution-assault and you can kiss the old P411 account goodbye . . .

now THAT'S the kind of barrel racin' i'm talkin' bout

oh no, not another boner-breakin' thread . . .

or you could try wearing a really good disguise

ahh. . . nothing like Austrian lesbians frenching -- and in front of the Cafe Prickel no less. You couldn't make this stuff up http://on.aol.com/video/lesbian-kiss-protest-in-vienna-518605883?hp=1&playlist=127170&icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl8|sec3_lnk1%26pLid%3D600411

as if you really need another reason . . . http://testtube.com/dnews/can-hugs-fight-the-common-cold/?utm_source=aol.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange

but I LIKE playin doctor . . .

aw hell, just put on a cowboy hat and meander into any downtown bar. the pros will approach you, buckeroo and don't forget to wear a hubcap-sized belt buckle

#1 - but where's the martini? always thought Campbell was a sniveling douche. great job of acting!

no you don't ask her. if she feels comfortable enough with you after somewhat 'regular' visits then she can make her own choice to be forthcoming (so to speak)

so the moral of the story is, if you want her to squirt buy her a drink first?

the researchers at James Madison say 'hells yeah' http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0031938414005459 or put another way for the link-happy:

this dude did http://video.foxnews.com/v/3973949549001/naked-woman-rescued-from-ex-boyfriends-chimney/?intcmp=obnetwork#sp=show-clips now what would Freud say?

Ukrainian activist who bared her breasts in St. Peter's Square on Christmas Day and snatched the statue of Baby Jesus from the Vatican's outdoor Nativity scene. http://www.aol.com/article/2014/12/27/woman-who-bared-breasts-in-vatican-square-is-freed/21121620/?icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl5|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D589626

oh nooooo http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/30/korean-air-arrested-nut_n_6398346.html?cps=gravity_1787_3173770949669892365

yo macho, i was gonna post a link to snatch, but i like your idea better. also, i suspect that my link would only invite another (well-deserved) infraction. as for AOL, it's where i popped my info highway cherry. plus, among my many glaring weaknesses is a lack of techno adventurism, hence my brand loyalty. plus, a bunch of my fellow o.g. online turks fiercely cling to its retro vibe. only bitch i have about it versus gmail or some such spawn of google and the dreaded cloud is it did something to some digital email attachments and put them in an unrecognizable format that i couldn't open. speakin of which, wtf is with the red pill shit? i looked at the link and now i don't understand all that i know about it. help a red-shirt freshman out here, will ya coach?

ever try sawing two logs at the same time?

T'was the night before XXX-Mas throughout TOB, Not a client was lurking, not even Zippy. The providers were nestled in snug in-call beds, While visions of Clooney did fuck with their heads. I and my Jergens with tissues at hand, Had just settled in to get busy again. When out in the chat room there arose such a noise, I just had to sign in and say 'sup to the boys. Away to the 'puter I ran in a dash, To click on the icon and load in a flash. Full moons and big breasts on the monitor show, Had the lustre of mid-day and my penis did grow. When what to my aching blue balls did I see, But a skype-like chat room filled with eight ASPs. With an ass-kickin hostess so lively and quick, I knew in an instant they'd all want my dick. More rapid than pre-cum the lovelies all came, And I panted and shouted and called them by name. Now Lucy, now Nikki, now Heidi and Rachel, On Candy, on Izzy, on Cristal and April. To the top of the bed, to the top of the wall, Now cowgirl! now cowgirl! now cowgirl them all! As dry humps before the wild foreplay would fly, When they met with flaccidity, they'd mount up and ride. Then in a twinkling I saw on my screen, All the agency girls from the profiles I'd seen. They were dressed all in fur, from their heads to their toes, And their clothes were so sexy with garters and hose. Their eyes how they twinkled, their butt dimples so merry, Those cheeks were like roses, I longed for their cherry. Their pert little lips were so red and inviting, I adjusted my screen to improve on the lighting. They all had great figures and a flat little belly, I fumbled and searched for the ol' K-Y Jelly. The wink of their eyes and their hips in full grind, Soon gave me to know they had something in mind. They didn't waste time but went straight to their job, Took down their stockings and fondled my knob. They flipped me and dipped me, I came hard you see, Tonight was my first time at MSOG. When they saw I was done for and pretty well spent, They packed up their toys and away they all went. I heard them exclaim as the screen went to fade, Happy endings, Urfan, you've been virtually laid. (with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

blubbery, chubby, corpulent, fleshy, full, gross, lardy, obese, overweight, plump, podgy [chiefly British], portly, pudgy, replete, roly-poly, rotund, round, tubby, beefy, bulky, chunky, heavy, heavyset, plumpish, stocky, stout, thick, thickset, weighty; brawny, burly, hefty, husky; dumpy, squat, stubby; hippy, paunchy, potbellied; flabby, soft; ample, buxom, corn-fed, ripe, zaftig (also zoftig); endomorphic, etc. is all in the eye of the beholder

Is Bill Cosby a somnophiliac? http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2014/12/10/is-bill-cosby-somnophiliac/?icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl2|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D579500