Experience Description: Lucia's web site goes on and on about Tantric Massage and how she is a master and a tiger. It also says "no refund for massages" so that should have been a clue! Agreed on for an hour. Go to location in Englewood. Husband meets me and leads to room. Ok- weird. Makes me sign a form with real name. Not liking this. Bedroom with massage table wedged into space at foot of bed. She is in the bathroom, door closed. He talks to her through door. Weird. He grabs up the money and leaves. she immediately pops out- all 300 pounds of eastern European babushka- at least 50, and ON OXYGEN! Really? Oh crap. What's that sound the Three Stooges make when they see something scary? - Gnaaahhhha! Trailing hoses, she makes me move my clothes to another chair. I pretty much want them back on. Onto the table face down. She tells me the whole massage will take place on my ass and dick. Then the upsell! Do I want any extras? What extras, I ask. Blah Blah- blow job. Not thinking I want her on my dick so I say I don't have much cash because the web site says no extras! She demands I get up and check. I offer her to end the discussion and surprisingly, she seems happy and snatches the cash. Back to the table face up, glove goes on, and she tries to figure out how to wedge herself between the bed and table in order to get to my dick. She had me so spread out I thought I was going to cramp up. Finger up in asshole and the BBJ begins. Feels ok but I had to think about other women in order to get off. Not much of a prostate massage- mostly just a finger rammed up the ass. I figure this is round one and massage to follow. Wrong!! "get up now" came the order and 22 minutes after arrival, I am in my car. WTF? So, if your idea of fun is an old fat lady on oxygen putting her finger up your ass, scurry over! Choose the 1/2 hour!