The Swamp

[jhooker]

Hey everyone! Hook is back after, not a 100% hiatus, but you know how it is, life is a strange journey. 
     I’m feeling philosophical and when I do I write. In today’s world, so much different than even the 90s, and not even the same galaxy as the 80s and 70s, it’s no surprise that traditional relationships are becoming extinct. I personally lament that reality. I have been married and burned twice and my second passed away in 2019 while secretly cheating on me……she died in another man’s bed, she was only 38. It took me 2 years to get over the loss AND the pain of her infidelity together. For the first time in my life self deletion was on the table. Thank God I made it through that dark period and I can talk about it now. But now that I am alone and for the first time really since 1992 I can’t believe I’m not able to find another partner. I’m in my 50s but I’m in pretty decent shape, but “dating” is a joke anymore. I feel like I woke up in some futuristic whole other planet. So I’ve been consuming MGTOW content and trying to focus on my purpose and work and my health, eating well, the whole mind and body thing. Yeah it’s great, except for one thing…..my phallus is like, hey dude what happened? Where’s the P? 
     It’s been insanely difficult to go from sex available 24/7 for half my life to absolutely nothing over night. And I’ve done admirably, I’ll give myself that, but there’s been a few times where the pressure just gets to be too much, and there’s so many divers outlets now, most of which leave me feeling gross and pathetic. 
     There is definitely a sewer out there and I think a man in my shoes could easily fall in without something inside maintaining his sense of direction, a compass, to balance his mind and spirit and his cock. 
     The last straw was Friday night, went out to a local bar, I rarely go out anymore, and I was getting some fair attention from a few pretty females……but I was getting a lot of attention from an obviously gay young male. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that to quote Seinfeld) Nothing happened and I went home, but then I couldn’t sleep because I was fantasizing about all the hot sex me and this young man could be having. I was pretty intoxicated so I ended up masturbating online with another male. Afterwards I felt sick, like how gross I was and what’s wrong with me. I went out again last night but this time I decided it’s been long enough, this going MGTOW MONK has its perks, and I believe it’s right for me, but only a super human can deal with that fire down below without taking a swim in the sewer. I’m an old hand at this and arranged to visit one of you lovely ladies and it was so nice to sense and feel and smell and taste and experience everything that is WOMAN. I’m at the point in my journey that I’m just going to accept that unless I actually do stumble into another relationship periodic visits with the lovely ladies of Denver will be in order. I left her place feeling good, like a good normal healthy American male. All those other maybe less expensive, some even free, outlets and activities for me are to be avoided. They ruin my day’s feeling like I’m worthless and flawed. 
     So thank you ladies! I’m sure you run into some serious douchebags, but you also know that you provide a necessary and beneficial service to a lot of lonely good guys who life has knocked around but we are still standing and working hard and doing our best to stay on the good side of life and stay out of the swamp……but we need you

[jhooker]

So after reading my own post I want to be clear that what I refer to as a sewer are to me the myriad of sexual outlets out there now OTHER than the good ol oldest profession. For me spending time with a woman produces good vibrations, like I’m staying within my natural design. 

[jhooker]

There was another catalyst I forgot to mention, today I was supposed to be meeting a woman I had been chatting with on a dating site for lunch. After hitting it off we exchanged numbers, began texting and talking on the phone then last Friday she just ghosted me. No explanation no cordial this isn’t going to work out, nothing. It did kind of hurt me a little bit but I have a pretty good grip on reality and soon blew it off. I’m not a bad looking man and have a good career, a home, a life, but still you know, just another frustrating example of how I believe technology has made our society worse not better. 
     Except at least we don’t need to go out on the street looking for you ladies. This platform is good for ease and convenience and also safety for us men to get together with you ladies.