filthytrance

When I started exploring this hobby, I was pretty fixated on physical appearance. While that's important to the extent that being attracted to the provider is essential to a good experience, I've found it's ultimately more of a secondary consideration for me now. Attraction exists on a spectrum, and the fact is I don't need to peg out the surface-level attraction meter in order to deeply enjoy being with a person. The most memorable experiences I've had have been with providers that foster a sense of freedom within the boundaries of the relationship. They help me to feel free to enjoy myself with them, in other words. This almost feels like an ephemeral quality because it's not a specific behavior but more of an attitude and mindset, but the best providers always seem to posses it to some degree. The other thing I value a great deal is a combination of strong skills and attentiveness as a lover. My favorite providers know how to make me feel things I've never felt before in my life, and they are paying attention to and learning from what I like. The combination of those 2 things is probably the sexiest thing on the planet to me.

I’m relatively new and had a hard time figuring it all out when I started too. As with most things in life, it takes patience and resilience to learn. Perhaps more so in this area because it is not publicly accepted. Most all the suggestions on here are great, would have saved me a lot of time :). I’ll add a few things: 1- decide on your own boundaries. How will you communicate? What are the non-negotiables to you? What’s your budget? Stick to your boundaries, even when you’re tempted to cross them. You’ll regret it if you cross your own boundaries 2- TOB, Tryst, and Slyxa (and others, depending on your area) are all great places to find potential providers, but you want to look beyond that. Most of the legit providers will post in some or all of the boards. Most of the established ones will have their own site for information and booking. Are their messages and photos consistent? 3- Be patient. It’s worth it. My first experience was pretty bad, but I learned a lot from it. I learned even more from my first great experience. You might not get it right the first time, but learn from it and keep going.