freewheelin

Hobbying is a lot closer to "Nam than it is to bowling. No rules, man. Bumping this thread after 2 years serves a purpose, though. If this doesn't convince OP and anyone else to get a hobby phone, I don't know what will. With smart phones there are apps where you can get a separate # to text and call for hobbying purposes only. Doesn't provide quite the level of security that some are looking for with an actual separate phone, but does provide anonymity and would prevent problems like the kind OP got. If you don't get a hobby #, it's kinda on you.

Downtown por favor. Like many, I'm so tired of the Tech Center.

If you play this game long enough, crazy shit is gonna happen. In the end, you weren't physically harmed, didn't have any contact with LE and aren't even out any money. So it could have been a lot worse, and you ended up with a good story out of it. Chalk it up to a life experience.

Imagine that you’re sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don’t get any. So you say “I should get my fair share.” And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, “everyone should get their fair share.” Now, that’s a wonderful sentiment — indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad’s smart-ass comment just dismissed you and didn’t solve the problem that you still haven’t gotten any! The problem is that the statement “I should get my fair share” had an implicit “too” at the end: “I should get my fair share, too, just like everyone else.” But your dad’s response treated your statement as though you meant “only I should get my fair share”, which clearly was not your intention. As a result, his statement that “everyone should get their fair share,” while true, only served to ignore the problem you were trying to point out. That’s the situation of the “black lives matter” movement. Culture, laws, the arts, religion, and everyone else repeatedly suggest that all lives should matter. Clearly, that message already abounds in our society. The problem is that, in practice, the world doesn’t work that way. You see the film Nightcrawler? You know the part where Renee Russo tells Jake Gyllenhal that she doesn’t want footage of a black or latino person dying, she wants news stories about affluent white people being killed? That’s not made up out of whole cloth — there is a news bias toward stories that the majority of the audience (who are white) can identify with. So when a young black man gets killed (prior to the recent police shootings), it’s generally not considered “news”, while a middle-aged white woman being killed is treated as news. And to a large degree, that is accurate — young black men are killed in significantly disproportionate numbers, which is why we don’t treat it as anything new. But the result is that, societally, we don’t pay as much attention to certain people’s deaths as we do to others. So, currently, we don’t treat all lives as though they matter equally. Just like asking dad for your fair share, the phrase “black lives matter” also has an implicit “too” at the end: it’s saying that black lives should also matter. But responding to this by saying “all lives matter” is willfully going back to ignoring the problem. It’s a way of dismissing the statement by falsely suggesting that it means “only black lives matter,” when that is obviously not the case. And so saying “all lives matter” as a direct response to “black lives matter” is essentially saying that we should just go back to ignoring the problem.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm quite confident many guys on here and out there have similar opinions on these matters. I'm not into drama and personal slapfights. Look to avoid it in real life, definitely look to avoid it in my free time in this business. All I'm looking for is to be treated well by a lovely lady for an hour, then do it again next week with a different (or sometimes the same) lady. When these kind of battles erupt out in the open on these boards for all of us to see, often people take up a lot of time trying to "win" the battle, to prove that they are "right" or are the aggrieved party. That's a mistake IMO. Because here's the bottom line: I DON'T CARE about the merits of the argument, I don't care who started it, I don't care who's "right." The longer these slapfights go on, the more frantic and dramatic they become, the more likely I am to cross off ALL parties from my list of ladies I am considering booking in the future. There are no winners when these things get going, everybody involved is a loser when it comes to how I spend my money. In over a decade on this board and in this hobby, there have been times when something that a lady wrote intrigues me and makes me decide to book her. But for every 1 that I've been impressed or interested in because of something they wrote here, there have been at least 5 that I've permanently crossed off my list because of something they wrote on here. And the ratio may be closer to 1:10 than 1:5, sadly... Years later, I've discovered that most of the providers that become my favorites aren't the ones who tend to get involved in these kinds of slapfights. Probably because they're hot and friendly and skilled in bedroom activities, so they're usually booked up most days and don't have tons of extra free time to piss away on internet message boards.

I prefer cumin for sessions. Especially cumin her mouth.

Let's say on Monday you request an appointment with an established provider you've never seen before, for the following Friday. On Tuesday messages are exchanged and the appointment is confirmed for Friday night. On Friday morning you notice that her rates have been raised on both P411 and her website. Would like to get insight from both sides of the fence on how this should be handled. Is client on the hook for the price at the time he booked, or the time of the date? Should he mention something? I really don't like ever talking about money at all, not just for LE safety reasons (and I assume most ladies hate money talk for this reason too), but also because it kind of puts a mild damper on the session, makes your conscious mind remember that this is only a business transaction and takes away from the "fantasy" or whatever. I suppose you could just give her the increased amount and consider the extra money a "tip" and call it good. I've actually had something similar to this scenario happen a few times, not a one-time occurrence.

Has anyone tried the Sonic Groom thing they have commercials for on tv? Commercial says that it's "safe for any area," but I'm a bit cautious when it comes to my nutsack.

Dude, go for it and report back, we need closure on this story . Look on the bright side, she didn't stiff you on any money (just time), and you've already got an interesting story out of it.

A dirndl. Or a Princess Leia slave costume. My kinks are so dorky, I'm too worried about embarrassment to ever actually request them...

The other 20% is discussions of grade inflation in the review system and ladies that won't see black dudes.

Agreed. An equally valid question could be "Why do gals not respond to proper date requests?" It can't be that hard to take a minute and write "Sorry I don't think we'd be a good match" or "You don't have enough oks, do you have any other references?" or "I'm busy that night, any other days work?" or "I'm not taking new clients at this time" or whatever. But you'd be surprised how often there's just radio silence, or there is a response but then communication breaks off. How ironic would it be if someone in this thread "no response'd" me on P411 once? It's fine, we get over it and move on to the next one. Just pointing out that poor communication, time-wasting and no-showing run both ways in this biz.

Try Asian Hot Summer next time she's in town.

This is why it's helpful to have some kind of story planted in your head and rehearsed as to why you're there, in case you're ever confronted by a cop/hotel manager/whoever. Will it stand up to scrutiny? I don't know, depends on who's asking and how big their suspicions are, but it's better than just standing there with a dumb and scared look on your face, or stammering incoherently. I've never had to test mine out, knock on wood.

Indeed, she disappeared a few years ago, I'm still bummed. Wish she would have made some fanfare about her retirement or whatever, so I could have seen her again. Alas, such is the nature of this biz.

Surely someone who makes $300 an hour could afford a Sierra Nevada or a pinot noir. Right?

She probably thought she was getting Christian Bale; when she found out she was actually getting Ben Affleck, she decided to bail. Can't blame her, really. Likely something like this. You'd be surprised how judgmental women in this business can be when it comes to assessing the competition, and the personal squabbles/catfights or whatever that go on behind the scenes. They rarely come out and say it, but occasionally I have ladies hinting that something is "wrong" with my list of past encounters. Sometimes it seems to be because of a particular lady that she has a problem with because they're enemies or something. Other times it seems like they think some of my former ASPs are low class because they're of a different race, or not attractive because they're not model thin, not pretty enough, etc... (And for the record, I see 99% ladies that are well-reviewed and well-known on TOB, and only ones that I think have hot pictures!). Women's harshest critics are usually other women, it's true in real life and in this biz.

Hate to ruin your fantasy, but pretty sure that's not Winter. 1. I think Winter had a tattoo, on her side or bikini line. 2. Face doesn't quite match what I remember. 3. Video looks like it was produced recently, actress looks to be in her late teens or early 20s. Winter would be around 30 by now.

Reading through many of these same discussions over the years, it seems like the fact is that for most of the providers, it's not that they aren't attracted to black men, but that they've had bad experiences with them arriving and being rude, wanting to become their pimp, and generally being bad clients, so they decide it's a better business and personal strategy to just not waste their time booking with any of them. I'm not a shill for P411, but I think this is a situation where it could be helpful. Get as many oks as you can, and when you send an appointment request, include a message with something like this: "My name is Joe, I'm a 48-year-old, respectful, professional black man. I'm an experienced hobbyist and I know all the rules and customs. I'd like to get together on Thursday night, etc..." If there is a prior ASP you have a good relationship with, especially if it's one that's well known locally, you might ask her if it's ok to include her as a reference and add in your P411 message to feel free to send a message to your reference and that she will vouch for you. Undoubtedly, you'll get some replies from ladies saying they don't see AA men, and some won't respond at all. But I think by doing whatever you can to show up-front that you're not a disrespectful, rude, cheap client, you'll be bettering your chances. In your original post, you seem to hint that you think the "hotties" are more likely to have a "no AA" policy, and that's frustrating. Probably you're right, I haven't ever done a study or analyzed the subject closely. But if it's any consolation, keep in mind that the "young hotties" are MUCH more likely to not respond to appointment requests or flake out on us white guys, as well. It's just the way it is...

Much appreciated!

Agreed; I also prefer naturals.

For the record, picture is of Keira Knightley, not Natalie Portman. Which I think is the pic OP is referencing (if there's a topless Portman pic making the rounds on the internet, someone post that too).

Anything's better than the tv, but I prefer instrumental music when getting it on, most singing just takes me out of the moment. Jazz is great as long as it's not of the smooth/elevator variety, or the really dissonant stuff from Miles/Coltrane/etc... (that stuff is great, just not so much for getting down). If I think a girl is of the more adventurous variety, I might go with Explosions in the Sky or Godspeed You Black Emperor. If there's gonna be vocals, I break it into 2 groups. I can take the safe approach and go with the classics (Marvin Gaye, Al Greene, Isaac Hayes). Or I can go with the indie/new wave sexy music - Mazzy Star, Portishead, Devendra Banhart.

And by "emphasis on boys" I meant immature and juvenile.

And that right there is an offensive, ignorant stereotype. Most gay people are not "over the top" in any way. Gay people have all kinds of different personalities, religious/political beliefs, sexual appetites, fashion preferences, etc... They're just like straight people, except they're attracted to a different group of people than others of their gender. I realize this is something of an "old boys club" (with an emphasis on the old, well I guess an emphasis on boys too), but maybe if some of you actually met and were friends with some gay people the juvenile name-calling and stereotypes wouldn't be so prevalent around here.