By Juanmotai,
Learn the Theory
You're not paying for sex; that's illegal, silly! And you're not "paying" either -- you're merely donatingfor their time and companionship -- that's perfectly legal. And if you two happen to spontaneously, consensually engage in sexual relations or any other activity -- irrespective, incidental, and independent of the initial transaction -- then that's perfectly legal (at least, in theory -- hence, the title). This theory is also the standard by which you evaluate what not to say/ask to a provider, e.g. "Here's my $300... btw, do you carry magnum condoms?" or by which you evaluate when to run, e.g. the provider asks, "Thank you for your payment...would you like me to start by sucking you off?"
Know the theory and you'll have a solid foundation to be a savvy hobbyist.
Learn the Lexicon
Upon entering the hobby, you need to learn the language. The language is, at least in part, designed to guard both parties from online scrutiny under law enforcement. They're not called 'escorts' or 'prostitutes'; they're called providers. You're not called 'Johnnies', you're called hobbyists. When you write follow-up reviews on the boards (and any hobbyist worth his salt will write a decent review, every time -- it's disrespectful not to, even if you have negative comments), you'll be expected to avoid language whose plain meaning would be interpreted as evidencing illegal conduct. The hobby already has its euphemisms and acronyms in place for most 'situations', so you only need to look them up. Here's a sample lexicon with corresponding plain meaning language:
Bareback: Without a condom.
BBBJ: Bareback Blow Job, oral stimulation of the penis without a condom
BBBJTC: Bareback Blow Job To Completion, oral stimulation of the penis to orgasm without a condom. (May spit or swallow)
Birdwatcher: A provider who swallows, based on the euphemism that she 'watches the Swallows'.
CBJ: CBJ, Covered Blow Job, fellatio with a condom
CG: Cowgirl
CIM: Cum in mouth.
Clockwatcher: A term for a provider who counts the minutes until the session is over. Usually used to describe a provider who rushes and does not enjoy her work.
Completion: Orgasm. e.g. She gave a bareback blowjob to completion.
Cover: A condom
Covered: Various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams
DATO: Dining at the O, Anilingus, oral stimulation of the anus
DATY: Dining at the Y, Cunnilingus, oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris
DFK: Deep French Kissing, kissing with tongue
Donation: Payment to a provider
Walking/Walked the dog: Doggy style
Enhancements: Breast implants
French: Oral sex, on either party
FS: Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion
GFE: Girl Friend Experience, A subjective term, but usually used as praise for a very passionate, sensual, non-mechanical experience. Most consider deep french kissing a baseline requirement for GFE.
Greek: Anal Sex
Hobby, The: The patronizing of prostitutes.
Hobbyist: A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Independent, Indie: An escort who works on her own, without an agency affiliation. The escort manages her own calls, bookings, advertising and finances
Interpreter: Condom (e.g. She spoke French without the aid of an interpreter = BBBJ)
Spinner: A very petite provider
TUMA: Tongue up my ass
YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary = Catch all phrase to remind that tastes differ, reviews are inherently subjective, and that providers have good and bad days, thus experiences vary.
Read reviews on your local provider boards, and you'll learn the lexicon.
Before the Session
1) FFS, don't haggle with the provider on prices.
That is incredibly disrespectful and you'll be very very lucky not to get blacklisted by the provider and other providers. Providers tend to be a very tight-knit community and will alert each other on who to avoid (whether its because you're an assshole, have STIs/STDs, smell bad, or act like five-o) by reference to your name, phone number, email, and appearance.
2) FFS, don't send dick pics to the provider.
Providers are just as concerned about getting busted as you are; by sending them any kind of lewd communication (whether in text or picture form) in advance, you lose all credibility. Have some fuucking common sense and civility; you're a gentleman and she is a lady -- act like so.
3) FFS, don't send one-word or vague emails/text
Sending "Hi, I'm all oiled up and reddy 2 go!" is just going to give the provider a headache; she's running a business and doesn't need you wasting her time with hunky dory bullshiit like that. Just state your request and include 1) Your donation amount, 2) Date and time, e.g. "Hi, I've got $300 for you. This Wednesday at 5pm good? Here are my references (links to reviews/provider phone numbers). Thank you!" Providers will love you for keeping it straightforward and simple.
During the Session
1) Pre-shower is generally standard operating procedure
Any provider worth her salt will require a pre-shower. Many will even join you for a little tease and soapy fun. Some will even wash your angusthoroughly -- I'm talking finger inserted 2/3rds in the way, for maximum freshness so she can tongue-fuuck your angus with reckless abandon. Regardless of how thoroughly you sanitized your balls and angus prior to arriving, take the damn shower -- it's standard procedure.
2) Be a respectful gentleman at all times.
Follow this principle, and you'll always be fine on your end of the bargain.
After the Session
1) Write a follow up review
Providers will always appreciate any feedback, no matter how small or lengthy, no matter how critical or raving. So even if your writing skills are surpassed by 3rd graders, write one anyway. But I will tell you this, providers love hobbyists who write spectacular, entertaining reviews. You can imagine how deeply emotional and uplifting it can be to read a glowing, raving, thorough review of your sexual performance; now imagine the feels of a woman, whose physiology and psychology is designed for maximum emotions, when she reads your reviews. You can begin to see the impact a review can have on your relationship with a provider.
2) STFU.
You're gonna be basking in all the after-glow of being exploring your wildest fantasies. You're gonna have so much vibrant energy that you'll haveto share it with someone! Don't, unless the other person you're spilling the beans to is also a verified hobbyist.
Learn the Theory
You're not paying for sex; that's illegal, silly! And you're not "paying" either -- you're merely donatingfor their time and companionship -- that's perfectly legal. And if you two happen to spontaneously, consensually engage in sexual relations or any other activity -- irrespective, incidental, and independent of the initial transaction -- then that's perfectly legal (at least, in theory -- hence, the title). This theory is also the standard by which you evaluate what not to say/ask to a provider, e.g. "Here's my $300... btw, do you carry magnum condoms?" or by which you evaluate when to run, e.g. the provider asks, "Thank you for your payment...would you like me to start by sucking you off?"
Know the theory and you'll have a solid foundation to be a savvy hobbyist.
Learn the Lexicon
Upon entering the hobby, you need to learn the language. The language is, at least in part, designed to guard both parties from online scrutiny under law enforcement. They're not called 'escorts' or 'prostitutes'; they're called providers. You're not called 'Johnnies', you're called hobbyists. When you write follow-up reviews on the boards (and any hobbyist worth his salt will write a decent review, every time -- it's disrespectful not to, even if you have negative comments), you'll be expected to avoid language whose plain meaning would be interpreted as evidencing illegal conduct. The hobby already has its euphemisms and acronyms in place for most 'situations', so you only need to look them up. Here's a sample lexicon with corresponding plain meaning language:
Bareback: Without a condom.
BBBJ: Bareback Blow Job, oral stimulation of the penis without a condom
BBBJTC: Bareback Blow Job To Completion, oral stimulation of the penis to orgasm without a condom. (May spit or swallow)
Birdwatcher: A provider who swallows, based on the euphemism that she 'watches the Swallows'.
CBJ: CBJ, Covered Blow Job, fellatio with a condom
CG: Cowgirl
CIM: Cum in mouth.
Clockwatcher: A term for a provider who counts the minutes until the session is over. Usually used to describe a provider who rushes and does not enjoy her work.
Completion: Orgasm. e.g. She gave a bareback blowjob to completion.
Cover: A condom
Covered: Various measures, such as the use of condoms or dental dams
DATO: Dining at the O, Anilingus, oral stimulation of the anus
DATY: Dining at the Y, Cunnilingus, oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris
DFK: Deep French Kissing, kissing with tongue
Donation: Payment to a provider
Walking/Walked the dog: Doggy style
Enhancements: Breast implants
French: Oral sex, on either party
FS: Full Service, Vaginal intercourse to completion
GFE: Girl Friend Experience, A subjective term, but usually used as praise for a very passionate, sensual, non-mechanical experience. Most consider deep french kissing a baseline requirement for GFE.
Greek: Anal Sex
Hobby, The: The patronizing of prostitutes.
Hobbyist: A man who patronizes prostitutes.
Independent, Indie: An escort who works on her own, without an agency affiliation. The escort manages her own calls, bookings, advertising and finances
Interpreter: Condom (e.g. She spoke French without the aid of an interpreter = BBBJ)
Spinner: A very petite provider
TUMA: Tongue up my ass
YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary = Catch all phrase to remind that tastes differ, reviews are inherently subjective, and that providers have good and bad days, thus experiences vary.
Read reviews on your local provider boards, and you'll learn the lexicon.
Before the Session
1) FFS, don't haggle with the provider on prices.
That is incredibly disrespectful and you'll be very very lucky not to get blacklisted by the provider and other providers. Providers tend to be a very tight-knit community and will alert each other on who to avoid (whether its because you're an assshole, have STIs/STDs, smell bad, or act like five-o) by reference to your name, phone number, email, and appearance.
2) FFS, don't send dick pics to the provider.
Providers are just as concerned about getting busted as you are; by sending them any kind of lewd communication (whether in text or picture form) in advance, you lose all credibility. Have some fuucking common sense and civility; you're a gentleman and she is a lady -- act like so.
3) FFS, don't send one-word or vague emails/text
Sending "Hi, I'm all oiled up and reddy 2 go!" is just going to give the provider a headache; she's running a business and doesn't need you wasting her time with hunky dory bullshiit like that. Just state your request and include 1) Your donation amount, 2) Date and time, e.g. "Hi, I've got $300 for you. This Wednesday at 5pm good? Here are my references (links to reviews/provider phone numbers). Thank you!" Providers will love you for keeping it straightforward and simple.
During the Session
1) Pre-shower is generally standard operating procedure
Any provider worth her salt will require a pre-shower. Many will even join you for a little tease and soapy fun. Some will even wash your angusthoroughly -- I'm talking finger inserted 2/3rds in the way, for maximum freshness so she can tongue-fuuck your angus with reckless abandon. Regardless of how thoroughly you sanitized your balls and angus prior to arriving, take the damn shower -- it's standard procedure.
2) Be a respectful gentleman at all times.
Follow this principle, and you'll always be fine on your end of the bargain.
After the Session
1) Write a follow up review
Providers will always appreciate any feedback, no matter how small or lengthy, no matter how critical or raving. So even if your writing skills are surpassed by 3rd graders, write one anyway. But I will tell you this, providers love hobbyists who write spectacular, entertaining reviews. You can imagine how deeply emotional and uplifting it can be to read a glowing, raving, thorough review of your sexual performance; now imagine the feels of a woman, whose physiology and psychology is designed for maximum emotions, when she reads your reviews. You can begin to see the impact a review can have on your relationship with a provider.
2) STFU.
You're gonna be basking in all the after-glow of being exploring your wildest fantasies. You're gonna have so much vibrant energy that you'll haveto share it with someone! Don't, unless the other person you're spilling the beans to is also a verified hobbyist.