Marilyn Desire

Parking am I wrong?

37 posts in this topic

Clients and providers I would like to get your opinions on an issues that I was recently faced with. Something that has got me questioning myself. Was I wrong? Was it my fault?

So it is common practice that providers do not give exact addresses to clients for safety reasons. Instead providers will give clients an address that is close by and once the client arrives they are given instructions on how to find the provider. Again this is a safety precaution. 

Recently I had an appt with someone and like I do for everyone I gave that person an address that was within walking distance to me. I explained that the address what not mine, but to please reach out to me when they arrived near for further instructions to which they agreed and understood.

Now, half an hour before the appt the person asked if there was plenty of parking because their vehicle was a "pain" to park. I assumed that the person had a large vehicle so I replied, yes there is plenty of parking on the street. 5 minutes before the clients appt I received compensation for the appt via cashapp from the client. I asked him if he had arrived for the appt. It was then that he told me he was lost. I told him that I saw him drive right past me and that he just needed to turn around and park.

He got upset and said why on earth would I give him an address that was not mine, and tell him it was not mine. He stated that it was insane that I would do such a thing. I explained that it was for safety reasons. I apologized for the inconvenience and gave my exact address and very clear instructions on where I was. 

The client continued to say he was lost and could not find my location. I offered to get in my car and drive to where he was so that he could follow me to my location. He said that was not necessary and to stay where I was. At this point I assumed he was going to be able to find me. When I asked if he was still coming he got very angry. He told me that I should be having clients park several blocks away in the paid public parking area. Keep in mind I do not even know what public parking he was talking about, nor would I ask clients to walk half a mile to my place from where they park. 

At this point I was very confused as to why he did not want to park where I asked. When I questioned him about this he became angry and said why on earth would I park my loud ass truck in a residential area, and I should have never expected him to park there. I told him that I had no idea his truck was loud as he never explained that to me, nor did he ask if my location was near a residential area. He continued to be irate and tell me how absurd and insane the whole ordeal was. After 30 minutes of trying to help him get to my location I decided it was best to cancel and refund his money.

In all the years of me being in this hobby I have never had someone who not only had a hard time finding me, but also blamed me for not knowing that their vehicle was loud and therefore they could not park where I requested.  

So I guess my question is, is there a way I could have handled this differently? I can't shake the feeling that it was all my fault and I disappointed someone so much...

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20 minutes ago, Marilyn Desire said:

Clients and providers I would like to get your opinions on an issues that I was recently faced with. Something that has got me questioning myself. Was I wrong? Was it my fault?

So it is common practice that providers do not give exact addresses to clients for safety reasons. Instead providers will give clients an address that is close by and once the client arrives they are given instructions on how to find the provider. Again this is a safety precaution. 

Recently I had an appt with someone and like I do for everyone I gave that person an address that was within walking distance to me. I explained that the address what not mine, but to please reach out to me when they arrived near for further instructions to which they agreed and understood.

Now, half an hour before the appt the person asked if there was plenty of parking because their vehicle was a "pain" to park. I assumed that the person had a large vehicle so I replied, yes there is plenty of parking on the street. 5 minutes before the clients appt I received compensation for the appt via cashapp from the client. I asked him if he had arrived for the appt. It was then that he told me he was lost. I told him that I saw him drive right past me and that he just needed to turn around and park.

He got upset and said why on earth would I give him an address that was not mine, and tell him it was not mine. He stated that it was insane that I would do such a thing. I explained that it was for safety reasons. I apologized for the inconvenience and gave my exact address and very clear instructions on where I was. 

The client continued to say he was lost and could not find my location. I offered to get in my car and drive to where he was so that he could follow me to my location. He said that was not necessary and to stay where I was. At this point I assumed he was going to be able to find me. When I asked if he was still coming he got very angry. He told me that I should be having clients park several blocks away in the paid public parking area. Keep in mind I do not even know what public parking he was talking about, nor would I ask clients to walk half a mile to my place from where they park. 

At this point I was very confused as to why he did not want to park where I asked. When I questioned him about this he became angry and said why on earth would I park my loud ass truck in a residential area, and I should have never expected him to park there. I told him that I had no idea his truck was loud as he never explained that to me, nor did he ask if my location was near a residential area. He continued to be irate and tell me how absurd and insane the whole ordeal was. After 30 minutes of trying to help him get to my location I decided it was best to cancel and refund his money.

In all the years of me being in this hobby I have never had someone who not only had a hard time finding me, but also blamed me for not knowing that their vehicle was loud and therefore they could not park where I requested.  

So I guess my question is, is there a way I could have handled this differently? I can't shake the feeling that it was all my fault and I disappointed someone so much...

In my opinion, both are to blame. Please do not take this the wrong way but a lot of the times, Providers do not realize that they no every which way to go to their in call, this may be a clients first time and to put it blunt, what seems as "simple directions" are not simple to clients, we don't go to this location as much as you do. Second, you assumed about his vehicle being a pain to park. You should have asked him why versus assuming. Now about the client, he should have let you come get him instead of letting his ego run the show. Sometimes men will take 30 minutes to try and figure out a problem (in call location) versus just admitting they are lost and need help. LOL maybe he was driving a Semi Tractor Trailer and just didn't want you to see it or turning it around and noticing the place where you said to park was not sufficient for that type of vehicle. The bottom line is whatever he was driving made him extremely late for his session and he should have communicated better and let you come find him when he admitted he was lost. Now to me, if you were nice enough to refund his money, I APPLAUD your efforts for that and it shows that you care to make things right. I know a lot of Providers who would not have refunded him anything. No offense but the fact that you refunded his money is turning me on LOL (my kind of woman) because you apparently like to take care of your clients. If I was this particular client, I would move on and just reschedule with you for a different time/day. If he is still pissed and he got his money refunded, well he has anger issues because this clearly was miscommunication from both parties and refunding the money was the EQUALIZER.

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Your place has non-standard parking in the back, but its not that hard to find. Sone people are just difficult.....

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Your spot makes it a little difficult to fit into the traditional "two call" system, but if you're directing them to the parking area I'm thinking of, that should be perfect for most to wait until it's time.  I can even see waiting at a close 24 hour convenience store for that final destination.  Now, if it's some huge F350 style truck I can see it having trouble parking, but that is what street parking and walking for a minute is for.  There's plenty of that around!

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1 hour ago, Savoir Faire said:

 I APPLAUD your efforts for that and it shows that you care to make things right. I know a lot of Providers who would not have refunded him anything. No offense but the fact that you refunded his money is turning me on LOL (my kind of woman) because you apparently like to take care of your clients. If I was this particular client, I would move on and just reschedule with you for a different time/day. If he is still pissed and he got his money refunded, well he has anger issues because this clearly was miscommunication from both parties and refunding the money was the EQUALIZER.

Thank you for your feedback. I absolutely did try to make an effort to rectify the situation. My morals and reputation for outweigh the benefits of money. You're right I did make assumptions as we both did. I assumed since I have never had any aissues with anyone finding me that this time would be no different. The situation wa definitely a first for me in the 5 years I have been in the hobby, but I am always trying to learn how to communicate more effectively no matter what the situation!

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1 hour ago, sb1212 said:

Your place has non-standard parking in the back, but its not that hard to find. Sone people are just difficult.....

I've moved recently so parking is no longer an issue. So thats why I was confused about him not wanting to park where I requested. I could see if I was at my old location how that could have been an issue but not where I am now.

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35 minutes ago, FuriousWeasel said:

Your spot makes it a little difficult to fit into the traditional "two call" system, but if you're directing them to the parking area I'm thinking of, that should be perfect for most to wait until it's time.  I can even see waiting at a close 24 hour convenience store for that final destination.  Now, if it's some huge F350 style truck I can see it having trouble parking, but that is what street parking and walking for a minute is for.  There's plenty of that around!

I moved in December so parking is not the same as you remember. It it was the same I could have definitely understood the problem :)

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No.matter how challenging the parking he should have perservered. Very much worth the effort....😁

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The guy wouldn't follow directions, and then argued himself out of a good time. What a doofus! :lol:

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5 hours ago, Marilyn Desire said:

I moved in December so parking is not the same as you remember. It it was the same I could have definitely understood the problem :)

Now I feel bad that I've been so busy for so long to not know that!!

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I've had some very funny pre gps "who's on first" moments with the lady saying something like "I'm in the middle complex," or "turn at the tree when you're almost to the end."  It's even more of a scream if I was in a city I didn't know to begin with. 

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You did NOTHING wrong!  He should have arrived at the given directions you gave him and contacted you for further instructions, plain and simple!

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This is another example of a 1st class provider going above and beyond for her client.  Kudos to you Marilyn for caring and trying so hard!! It's too bad he couldn't calm down enough to let you take the lead and make this date happen.  Him pulling over, taking a few deep breaths, and LISTENING, and this date would have happened.  I feel bad for him because he couldn't get control of his emotions, and the result was no appt, plus he's out the date money.  A Big Thank You for paying her rate at least. ❤ Honestly, this is a date I would try my best to make happen again.  Sometimes we all let our emotions get the best of us. It happens. 

Edited by Hunter VanDyke
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First of all a GOOD client would understand if a lady wanted the extra security/discretion of having you park in one spot (maybe a block or 2 away) and walking to her actual in-call. Some providers require specific areas to park and others don't, you just have to roll with what you get sometimes.  What I would point out is... if the client was being difficult on parking and couldn't follow directions or had to much pride to let you take the lead and follow you then imagine what kind of person they COULD have been behind closed doors. Not that it would have nessisarily been the same, but I would venture a guess that it may have been the same where he wants it HIS way and wouldn't be able to follow a ladies lead in the bedroom either and if there was boundaries he didn't like I could see attitude in that area as well.

I like how there are sayings about guys with big trucks having a superiority complex and to me this sounded like it could have been an example of that.... maybe the actual date would have been fun or maybe you dodged a bullet of one of those less enjoyable times with a very needy "I need it my way" clients.

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I understand not wanting different cars coming and going and parking right in front of an incall. However I would not want to have to walk 2 blocks after parking to get to an incall….especially in rain or snow.

But we do what we have to do if we really want to see someone. 10+ years ago I used to visit a lady whenever I was in Chicago and parking on her street was impossible so I would wind up parking a block or two away.

It really helps us guys if we can get clear, concise directions and an actual address.

Many, many years ago, I had an appointment with a lady and it was the standard 2 call system. When I made the second call, her instructions to her incall was: Come down the street 6 blocks and you will see a garage door open. Pull into the garage and stay in your car until I close the garage door.

I drove down the street 6 blocks, saw an open garage door and pulled into the garage. I sat there for a maybe 5 minutes and started feeling uneasy. I backed out of the garage and drive to the end of the block and she called me and asked where I was. I told her I pulled into the open garage and waited. I also told her when she didn’t close the garage door. I got uneasy and decided to pull out and call her.

She asked what hundred block I was at and after I told her, she told me I needed to come up one more block. Turns out she miss counted how many blocks I needed to come to. I did make the appointment, but never returned because I had a hard time enjoying myself.

I got lucky pulling into the wrong garage. It could have turned out bad if the resident called the police.

This is why I say clear concise directions and an address helps us guys.

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On 8/7/2021 at 1:23 PM, pfunk said:

The guy wouldn't follow directions, and then argued himself out of a good time. What a doofus! :lol:

Sounds like someone wishing to be impossible!

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I was most appreciative of one lady whose in call was a bit odd to get to texting me a screen capture of google map of vicinity with custom stick pin on promised land and a park here hint.  Made child's play of an otherwise confusing endeavor.  It would not alleviate a too big and too loud truck problem (compensating for ...... never mind, speculation :lol:)

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17 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

I was most appreciative of one lady whose in call was a bit odd to get to texting me a screen capture of google map of vicinity with custom stick pin on promised land and a park here hint.  Made child's play of an otherwise confusing endeavor.  It would not alleviate a too big and too loud truck problem (compensating for ...... never mind, speculation :lol:)

Reminds me of a redneck joke: At a rural 4 way stop if 4 vehicles arrive simultaneously, who proceeds first? Answer - the truck with the biggest tires....

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On 8/8/2021 at 1:32 PM, Strange_Ice said:

 maybe you dodged a bullet of one of those less enjoyable times with a very needy "I need it my way" clients.

Or just a bad temper. He showed his true colors just in time. I have an outgoing reply back message, that men even p411 clients, will start having arguments with my automatic reply message unbelievable. I think the same  thing. Dodged a bullet!

Second thing: a few years there was a fantastic provider ( miss her much and hope she is happy) this is when TOB allowed a scale of 1 to 10. He is still here frequently,  but he deducted points, because drove his 5 wheel to the appointment and couldn't get it her complex. She DID apologize and go get him in her own car, and he still dinged her in 1 to 10 scale. If a guy can't figure out directions GPS crashing or not. Then he certainly can't figure out lady parts!

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I actually prefer parking a distance away from an appointment location.   Harder to tie a license number to an area or activity.  It sounds like your clients name MAY have been a short version of "Richard Thistle". 

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I've been to the incll in question, and while it's been a number of months, maybe I can provide some insight. It's in an older part of town, very nice, but not an area in general I'm overly familiar with.  My GPS took me to a property a couple of door down and I rounded the block and circled back and have to admit I was a little confused. I reached out to Marilyn, she responded immediately and she talked me right into street parking across from the incall.  She even came to the door and waver to confirm I was parking in the right place. I can understand getting confused and a little frustrated when it comes to parking at an incall you've never been to, but by being in the area a little early and staying in communication, something like this could have been easily overcome. Hard to believe he let his ego, or arrogance, or whatever overcame in, get in the way of a good time.

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I have at times had the same type of conversation.  Drive by location turn around call etc.

Check it up to being safe and also keeping nosy neighbors  under control.

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Long story short, you're in the wrong. You know you're in a crap location, yet you insist playing mind games with the client to see how many hoops he'd jump through before getting frustrated and finally giving up. I hope you gave him a full refund. 

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1 hour ago, Mr.Pink said:

Long story short, you're in the wrong. You know you're in a crap location, yet you insist playing mind games with the client to see how many hoops he'd jump through before getting frustrated and finally giving up. I hope you gave him a full refund. 

Troll......

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On 8/10/2021 at 9:36 AM, mustang said:

I actually prefer parking a distance away from an appointment location.   Harder to tie a license number to an area or activity.  It sounds like your clients name MAY have been a short version of "Richard Thistle". 

Raincoat, ballcap, Groucho glasses and mustache. There are cameras everywhere these days. 

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6 minutes ago, Happymon said:

Raincoat, ballcap, Groucho glasses and mustache. There are cameras everywhere these days. 

Who worries about disguises?  Not me.

After all, I am there to visit and a female friend and talk with her and share a cup of coffee or maybe an alcoholic beverage.

Anything else that goes on is between the lady and I and is nobody's business.

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2 hours ago, ilovewomen said:

Who worries about disguises?  Not me.

After all, I am there to visit and a female friend and talk with her and share a cup of coffee or maybe an alcoholic beverage.

Anything else that goes on is between the lady and I and is nobody's business.

Goody for you. You can work on your sense of humor in the meantime. 

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14 minutes ago, Happymon said:

Goody for you. You can work on your sense of humor in the meantime. 

Never a sarcasm font when you need one. ;)

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Not sure why a sarcasm font would be needed.  

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