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Joanna Jaxxx

Waiting 30 days for reference check

13 posts in this topic

I’ve been noticing a lot of late reference requests. I for one have a terrible memory so someone trying to ask for a reference will not work for me months later. Even the brief little descriptions are no help . Hopefully no one takes offense for the denials but I’m sure you understand.
Please try to keep them in a timely fashion. I mean if you’re going to wait a whole 30 days why even bother 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

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12 hours ago, Joanna Jaxxx said:

I’ve been noticing a lot of late reference requests. I for one have a terrible memory so someone trying to ask for a reference will not work for me months later. Even the brief little descriptions are no help . Hopefully no one takes offense for the denials but I’m sure you understand.
Please try to keep them in a timely fashion. I mean if you’re going to wait a whole 30 days why even bother 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

Not every client can see a provider every 30 days. Plus some providers request multiple references. In that case, not every client can see 2 or 3 providers within 30 days. 

That being said I like when providers publically post their reference sharing requirements. That way if clients dont plan on seeing another provider for a few months, they'll know not to use you as a reference, and there's no timewastimg involved for you, him or the providers he wishes to see. 

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1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

 

That being said I like when providers publically post their reference sharing requirements. That way if clients dont plan on seeing another provider for a few months, they'll know not to use you as a reference, and there's no timewastimg involved for you, him or the providers he wishes to see. 

My procedure is that I don’t require references to come and see me. . Seldom have I ever request information from a provider. I am not sure when the NEED for character  reference sharing even began? Kind of an interesting change from when I first started doing this. I also have my own style protocol for helping ladies and clientele out with their comfort needs. And yes I am reference friendly (My procedure is posted in my website) and as long as the gentleman approaches me first and it has not been so long that I don’t remember him 3 months if it has been only one visit. Just want to make sure I have the right “Steve, John, Mike”. Also, as long as I can find the provider listed somewhere? So I may confirm she is safe to confirm safe and legitimate we are golden. Also, please understand because this is an independent biz understanding that not everyone feels comfortable with helping other providers (speaking in general on other ladies needs). Please accept her boundaries with contact. Also, please understand that we all have our own personal comfort levels/understandings/ acceptances of others. 
Rolling with the times ladies and gentlemen! 🥰🤗.

💋💋 Happy 4th of July to all my friends!!💋💋

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2 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

My procedure is that I don’t require references to come and see me. . Seldom have I ever request information from a provider. I am not sure when the NEED for character  reference sharing even began? Kind of an interesting change from when I first started doing this. I also have my own style protocol for helping ladies and clientele out with their comfort needs. And yes I am reference friendly (My procedure is posted in my website) and as long as the gentleman approaches me first and it has not been so long that I don’t remember him 3 months if it has been only one visit. Just want to make sure I have the right “Steve, John, Mike”. Also, as long as I can find the provider listed somewhere? So I may confirm she is safe to confirm safe and legitimate we are golden. Also, please understand because this is an independent biz understanding that not everyone feels comfortable with helping other providers (speaking in general on other ladies needs). Please accept her boundaries with contact. Also, please understand that we all have our own personal comfort levels/understandings/ acceptances of others. 
Rolling with the times ladies and gentlemen! 🥰🤗.

💋💋 Happy 4th of July to all my friends!!💋💋

Aww...the beauty of being independent and not managed. I agree. 

Now if the ladies who don't prefer the reference sharing network would respect the boundaries of those that do and stop telling them how they should screen.  I remember having to tell a provider I'll run my business how I see fit when she crossed that boundary with me.  I would never tell a provider how to screen.  Boundaries go both ways. 

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2 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Aww...the beauty of being independent and not managed. I agree. 

Now if the ladies who don't prefer the reference sharing network would respect the boundaries of those that do and stop telling them how they should screen.  I remember having to tell a provider I'll run my business how I see fit when she crossed that boundary with me.  I would never tell a provider how to screen.  Boundaries go both ways. 

100% agree @Hunter VanDyke  always open to helping if it is one of my OWN personal clients. No issues with that. (No I don’t own anyone) 😂😂😂😂 that sound sounds funny to me! May my clients mingle with you as well as yours with mine! - Hopefully that works for understanding?! 😇l

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5 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

100% agree @Hunter VanDyke  always open to helping if it is one of my OWN personal clients. No issues with that. (No I don’t own anyone) 😂😂😂😂 that sound sounds funny to me! May my clients mingle with you as well as yours with mine! - Hopefully that works for understanding?! 😇l

My understanding is there is a bunch of fluff and games being played from ladies who are not reference friendly, but want to publically act like they are and it's annoying as hell to the ladies and gents who are reference friendly and use references.  That's why I appreciated the OPs post so much.  Its honest with no game playing

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This is why I love P411! I get an "OK" shortly after the appt, so I rarely need anything else! 

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1 hour ago, pfunk said:

This is why I love P411! I get an "OK" shortly after the appt, so I rarely need anything else! 

^ THIS ^

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On 7/4/2020 at 10:49 AM, Hunter VanDyke said:

Not every client can see a provider every 30 days. Plus some providers request multiple references. In that case, not every client can see 2 or 3 providers within 30 days. 

That being said I like when providers publically post their reference sharing requirements. That way if clients dont plan on seeing another provider for a few months, they'll know not to use you as a reference, and there's no timewastimg involved for you, him or the providers he wishes to see. 

That’s a good idea about publicly posting. I should be more thorough though as I am referring to references on here. Some guys book me and don’t tell me that they’re going to send me a reference request on here so I have no clue who they are as I don’t know their handle. And they are brief descriptions like,  ‘I saw you in dtc , we had a good time’ lol and I have no clue who they are lol or when I saw them. I’m strictly talking about the references on tob not private ones.  

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From what I am taking from the OP is if you are going to request her for a reference here on tob she is asking that the gentleman who saw her and wants that reference to please submit the request sooner (probably as close to the day after as possible) rather then later (such as almost a month later or more). The sooner you do the better so that the memory of you is still fresh. I dont actually fault her for trying to express that publicly especially  if it happens a lot to her and wouldn't that be ideal anyways that when you see a lady and you would like to use them as a reference  that you submit it as soon as you get the first chance to anyways? It doesn't sound like she is saying she is against being used as a reference but to at least do her that courtesy of being more timely about the request specifically on here

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References has become a controversial subject with ladies lately, and I can see why. Back in the day, it was a lot easier to do, but it wasn't as large in numbers and ladies seem to have wanted to help out a lot more than they do now. Now they see it is as a competition when they don't realize that when we all work together, everyone gets to be happy and play. Also, even if you get a good reference...doesn't mean that that client is a good fit for you. 

Every client of mine is screened differently...sometimes I require references, others I require everything depending on what came back, others I can rely on RW info or profiles from legit sites. It just depends on my gut, and what their info tells me. I don't make references a big deal partly due to it being a pain getting a confirmation back in a timely manner which is rare so I go back and forth on how bad I want them. There are times though that I will require based on reasons that I feel make it important to me on if I feel I will make that big step to see them. Lastly,, I ask for clients to only use me for references up to 3 months as they should have another one at that point, and I want to give fresh memories for the lady. Also, I require that time frame for security reasons as well.

I personally feel you shouldn't make it your first priority as I have seen in many cases you losing out on a great client because you were bound and determined to get that reference before seeing them, and sometimes timing makes it an issue as well for both parties around. I would find multiple sources so that one way or another you are getting the info you need so you and the client can end up getting what you both what in the end, a good time together.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard aka "Sultry Kitten"

Edited by SultryKitten
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17 hours ago, Joanna Jaxxx said:

That’s a good idea about publicly posting. I should be more thorough though as I am referring to references on here. Some guys book me and don’t tell me that they’re going to send me a reference request on here so I have no clue who they are as I don’t know their handle. And they are brief descriptions like,  ‘I saw you in dtc , we had a good time’ lol and I have no clue who they are lol or when I saw them. I’m strictly talking about the references on tob not private ones.  

I got a reference request from a TOB client I hadn't seen in over a year recently. 😋 Luckily, he's a very sweet guy and fun and treats all the ladies great and I knew exactly who he was because I had seen him many times.

I do know what you're talking about though and I do think they are different than personal references, because at least with personal references we can let the providers know we don't remember them but we have this little note jotted down for them, and the provider can decide for themselves if that's good enough.  If I don't have any recollection at all for a client and it's been awhile, I would ask them to come back to see me for a reference on here. Thanks again for your post. It's a good reminder. ❤

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1 hour ago, SultryKitten said:

References has become a controversial subject with ladies lately, and I can see why. Back in the day, it was a lot easier to do, but it wasn't as large in numbers and ladies seem to have wanted to help out a lot more than they do now. Now they see it is as a competition when they don't realize that when we all work together, everyone gets to be happy and play. Also, even if you get a good reference...doesn't mean that that client is a good fit for you. 

Every client of mine is screened differently...sometimes I require references, others I require everything depending on what came back, others I can rely on RW info or profiles from legit sites. It just depends on my gut, and what their info tells me. I don't make references a big deal partly due to it being a pain getting a confirmation back in a timely manner which is rare so I go back and forth on how bad I want them. There are times though that I will require based on reasons that I feel make it important to me on if I feel I will make that big step to see them. Lastly,, I ask for clients to only use me for references up to 3 months as they should have another one at that point, and I want to give fresh memories for the lady. Also, I require that time frame for security reasons as well.

I personally feel you shouldn't make it your first priority as I have seen in many cases you losing out on a great client because you were bound and determined to get that reference before seeing them, and sometimes timing makes it an issue as well for both parties around. I would find multiple sources so that one way or another you are getting the info you need so you and the client can end up getting what you both what in the end, a good time together.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard aka "Sultry Kitten"

I agree. Multiple options for screening seems to work best for me too. Adding in a RW screening option has opened up possibilities to see newbies and clients who do not like to use their references for a variety a reasons. 

When I worked in my 20s, I never remember any controversy over references. Like you mentioned, I dont remember there being a competition issue either. I think it was mainly because internet escorting was new and we were all pretty excited about it and about helping each other.  I came back into the industry thinking it was the same. Boy was I wrong. 😂

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