Bravo1

Not sure who needs to hear this...

43 posts in this topic

But I've heard random stories from hobbyists and providers alike that really make me wonder what kind of thoughts are going through the minds of some of my fellow hobbyists.  These providers are human beings with their own lives, friends, activities and responsibilities.  They don't need us intertwined in their personal lives and crossing lines, calling them or emailing them personally.  If you are fortunate enough to meet with a provider and it is this mind-blowing experience, enjoy the memories of the experience but don't try to make more of it than what it was.  This isn't Pretty Woman, they don't need you to rescue them or be their friends outside the hobby.  Respect boundaries and if anything give a little more room maybe.  If you are a provider, feel free to chime in and correct me if I am out of line but I really don't think I am.  Show respect for them and know what you are to them, don't get confused about your place.  This is a fantastic thing we have access to boys, handle yourselves appropriately and don't screw it up for the rest of us.  

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Strong women don't have attitudes. They have standards and boundaries respect them

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Totally agree with the OP, but there are some providers who take advantage of the hobbyists. We get the communications of " I'm overdrawn can you help me out or can you help me with my rent this month". We have personal lives and responsibilities also. The 'takers' give a bad impression of the lovely ladies who provide a great service. I know of some whom have reverted the civie pool because of certain providers pestering them.

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If you sit back and let her set the boundaries, you might be surprised to find that they aren’t always where “common knowledge” says they should be.  If you respect her boundaries, and establish some of your own, friendships may develop, and in vary rare cases, even love.  
These women are people too.  Give them some credit for having feelings and emotions. They guard their hearts with good reason, as do we.  But neither group is all mercenary or all lust crazed stalkers.

If you treat the people with whom you interact respectfully, there may be a few perks in life.

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1 hour ago, Bravo1 said:

crossing lines, calling them or emailing them personally. 

How did they get their personal phone numbers and email in the first place? Were they stalking them? Or did the provider give it to them? 

Edited by Vassago
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3 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

If you sit back and let her set the boundaries, you might be surprised to find that they aren’t always where “common knowledge” says they should be.  If you respect her boundaries, and establish some of your own, friendships may develop, and in vary rare cases, even love.  
These women are people too.  Give them some credit for having feelings and emotions. They guard their hearts with good reason, as do we.  But neither group is all mercenary or all lust crazed stalkers.

If you treat the people with whom you interact respectfully, there may be a few perks in life.

This is the truth. A real key is to "let her set the boundaries". Well said, Bit!

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3 hours ago, wglide2003 said:

Totally agree with the OP, but there are some providers who take advantage of the hobbyists. We get the communications of " I'm overdrawn can you help me out or can you help me with my rent this month". We have personal lives and responsibilities also. The 'takers' give a bad impression of the lovely ladies who provide a great service. I know of some whom have reverted the civie pool because of certain providers pestering them.

Just like with providers, clients need to set clear boundaries as well. When boundaries are being crossed, maybe redirect once, but if crossed again, time to let them know you're no longer a good fit, wish them well and move on. Also respect a providers wishes when she asks to move on as well. Keep it professional. We can still have a great time, while keeping it professional, and when it's no longer fun for either the client or provider, time to let go. I'm always surprised at the number of people who simply can not walk away. 

Just kidding. I'm not really surprised anymore 😂😂😂

 

 

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1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Just like with providers, clients need to set clear boundaries as well. When boundaries are being crossed, maybe redirect once, but if crossed again, time to let them know you're no longer a good fit, wish them well and move on. Also respect a providers wishes when she asks to move on as well. Keep it professional. We can still have a great time, while keeping it professional, and when it's no longer fun for either the client or provider, time to let go. I'm always surprised at the number of people who simply can not walk away. 

Just kidding. I'm not really surprised anymore 😂😂😂

 

 

That's another good example Hunter, recognize when it's time to move on. I've been turned down by a provider or two for various reasons and I just thought to myself "That sucks" and I moved on, I didnt badger her or beg for an appointment.  I suppose the hobby mirrors real life though, there are some men who just don't pick up the hints or even the not so subtle comments from women.

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11 minutes ago, Bravo1 said:

That's another good example Hunter, recognize when it's time to move on. I've been turned down by a provider or two for various reasons and I just thought to myself "That sucks" and I moved on, I didnt badger her or beg for an appointment.  I suppose the hobby mirrors real life though, there are some men who just don't pick up the hints or even the not so subtle comments from women.

I don't miss the guys that don't pick me, but sometimes I get my lil feelers hurt when a client moves on because the fun kinda fizzled out after awhile. Like you said, the hobby mirrors life in many ways, and how we deal with rejection here says a lot about how we react in real life IMO.

There are so many horny and fabulous men and women who P2P or P4P.  Lick those wounds and jump back in the deep end.  😜

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There are a few gentleman out there that once you say that you're moving on and it's not a good fit turn around and get new numbers and every time you block them, they get another new number and another number and that keeps happening over and over. It isn't cool it's not attractive it doesn't flatter me it scares the f*** out of me. The disposable number thing is a real issue in our industry. It gives the not so safe guys a way back in and yet we get such attitudes about screening 

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20 minutes ago, Madison Taylor said:

. The disposable number thing is a real issue in our industry. It gives the not so safe guys a way back in and yet we get such attitudes about screening 

Also true from the gentleman’s perspective.  A YL who acquires a reputation for less than stellar service, just gets a new number & name.  Then it’s off to the races all over again.

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How about this : you pay them to walk away  and they get paid so you can walk away. 

Its simple, money exchanged for services is a big sign of boundaries.

It happened to me with a girl from CL long time ago. It started with a few appts. Cfs then went raw ... then you dont have to pay me ( i was barely paying bills any ways) then she would just show up and wait for me by my door or come early in the morning to just crash in my bed. ... never went out together never had a meal together ... and then i started to worry ... did not have to say or do anything ... just vanished at once after i did not answer the phone or open the door that early morning because i was with someone else in my own bed. 

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set boundaries, respect boundaries, learn from experiences, be honest, and when its time, turn pages...

but respect that others walk a path sometimes as unique to them as their gene pool and just need a clue sometimes...

then respect the clues and make better choices and hobby safe and have fun...

then repeat:)

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I'v had to fire a few  .. When they keep call or email me I just don't give them my time , soon they move on to the next .:o

Edited by lustybustygina
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Friendships are so incredibly special...just don't fall in love.

 

 

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5 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

Also true from the gentleman’s perspective.  A YL who acquires a reputation for less than stellar service, just gets a new number & name.  Then it’s off to the races all over again.

Yeah but doesnt she get the dreaded AKA next to her new name? The gents don't. 

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1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Yeah but doesnt she get the dreaded AKA next to her new name? The gents don't. 

Only if they catch her.🥴

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1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Yeah but doesnt she get the dreaded AKA next to her new name? The gents don't. 

I agree that if a guy is problem and changes his name and number, if he is found out he should get an AKA too.

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8 hours ago, Madison Taylor said:

There are a few gentleman out there that once you say that you're moving on and it's not a good fit turn around and get new numbers and every time you block them, they get another new number and another number and that keeps happening over and over. It isn't cool it's not attractive it doesn't flatter me it scares the f*** out of me. The disposable number thing is a real issue in our industry. It gives the not so safe guys a way back in and yet we get such attitudes about screening 

Right Madison, that's the kind of creepy stuff I'm talking about.  I understand there are always exceptions to every situation but when a provider calls you "luv or friend", don't get too comfortable with that.  They are just being polite.  Don't feel like you are their savior because you've seen them a couple times and definitely dont be threatening or creepy just because it didn't work out.

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On 5/3/2020 at 2:46 PM, wglide2003 said:

Totally agree with the OP, but there are some providers who take advantage of the hobbyists. We get the communications of " I'm overdrawn can you help me out or can you help me with my rent this month". We have personal lives and responsibilities also. The 'takers' give a bad impression of the lovely ladies who provide a great service. I know of some whom have reverted the civie pool because of certain providers pestering them.

Every time that I hear or read something like this, I’m just aghast. Does anyone not have any respect and/or pride? Am I an old fuddy duddy? Shit happens ( like what we’re going through now), but mismanagement of funds and/or gambling, do not count. There are guys that keep going back for it....again, again, and again.🤷‍♀️  There are plenty of honest ladies who run their business with morale. You reap what you sow. I digress though, I agree with the op and @Hunter VanDyke.

While at it, I’d like to thank the guys that have given, donated and even offered without being prompted during this time. We love you friends.💕😘

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8 hours ago, skinnydud said:

How about this : you pay them to walk away  and they get paid so you can walk away. 

Its simple, money exchanged for services is a big sign of boundaries.

It happened to me with a girl from CL long time ago. It started with a few appts. Cfs then went raw ... then you dont have to pay me ( i was barely paying bills any ways) then she would just show up and wait for me by my door or come early in the morning to just crash in my bed. ... never went out together never had a meal together ... and then i started to worry ... did not have to say or do anything ... just vanished at once after i did not answer the phone or open the door that early morning because i was with someone else in my own bed. 

 

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I agree that things should be kept as mutual beneficial to both as possible. I know there are guys out there that will hound or basically harass a girl. If they spent this energy into finding another girl, then things would be that much better in the hobby.

Then their are the girls who will use the hobby, to go beyond the pay for play scenario. I am not talking about being friends. There is nothing wrong with that. A few might even get into a real relationship. Again nothing wrong with that. What I am talking about are the ones who will try to use us guys. Like I can't cover my bills this month, could you help me out this once. I am stuck and can't afford an Uber. The  mechanic needs a couple hundred to fix my car, I will make it back up to you. It always starts off very small.  Like I am stuck, could you give me a lift. Next thing you know,  you are pushing the cart behind them in the store . Wondering how you got in so deep, with nothing back in return.   

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17 hours ago, Laci French said:

Friendships are so incredibly special...just don't fall in love.

 

 

Just wanted to say I love this post. Thanks Lacy! There is nothing wrong with being good or even great friends that is mutually beneficial. Especially if the sex is amazing! :D

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18 hours ago, Laci French said:

Friendships are so incredibly special...just don't fall in love.

 

 

That is almost always true from a practical perspective, but not technically true. Due to the intimate nature of the hobby and the fact that everyone in it is a human being, it is unrealistic to think love is not going to happen sometimes. Occasionally clients fall for providers, providers fall for clients, and sometimes they fall in love with each other. I have had the good fortune to experience that last of those more than once. The PRACTICAL problem here is that almost everyone equates "In Love" with " Now must be in relationship, almost certainly monogamous".....that's when it all goes off the rails. HOWEVER, rarely, a small few people can be in love and NOT require that to = relationship......THAT is a special thing beyond description. That said, DO NOT go LOOKING for that.

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A hooker claims to have fallen in love with you?

Then it's time to

 

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3 hours ago, Alex Majors said:

I agree that things should be kept as mutual beneficial to both as possible. I know there are guys out there that will hound or basically harass a girl. If they spent this energy into finding another girl, then things would be that much better in the hobby.

Then their are the girls who will use the hobby, to go beyond the pay for play scenario. I am not talking about being friends. There is nothing wrong with that. A few might even get into a real relationship. Again nothing wrong with that. What I am talking about are the ones who will try to use us guys. Like I can't cover my bills this month, could you help me out this once. I am stuck and can't afford an Uber. The  mechanic needs a couple hundred to fix my car, I will make it back up to you. It always starts off very small.  Like I am stuck, could you give me a lift. Next thing you know,  you are pushing the cart behind them in the store . Wondering how you got in so deep, with nothing back in return.   

Wait!  Are you talking about the hobby or marriage?

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We all need to fuck like wild weasels, enjoy the special connections that are formed...rinse and repeat.

This should be fun and remember there's always eharmony for the lovey stuff.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Laci French said:

This should be fun and remember there's always eharmony for the lovey stuff.

No really.  They declined my application.  Too kinky?  Not serious enough? Not faith based? 🥴

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