BigDaddyB68

Interactions with providers in public

30 posts in this topic

Hi all, I recently had an experience where I was by myself at a diner and a provider I had seen once walked in alone. She sat on the other side of the diner. I noticed her immediately but she didn't see me. As I got up to pay at the register I made eye contact with her, smiled but didn't approach. She smiled back then I turned to pay my bill and walked out.

I didn't want to cause an uncomfortable or awkward situation. Y'all have probably discussed this before but I'm curious on your opinions about interactions with providers in public?  

Edited by BigDaddyB68
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You almost certainly did the right thing. For all you knew she was meeting her mother for dinner,  who could have walked in at any moment.

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Smiling and making eye contact is always fine. But never make the situation weird. We are people just like ya'll and have lives as well. Now personally I don't have anything to worry about if someone did want to say HI, but not everyone is in my situation.  Now just because I have nothing to worry about, I still wouldn't run up to you or make a scene to show I know you. lol I will smile and acknowledge you,but that is about as far as it goes. 

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what happens between you and a provider behind closed doors only leaves that room in the form of a review or board posts should it be ok with you both to do so...

everyone in this hobby has a real life and i imagine most want to not have that and their hobby life intersect unintentionally and shed public light on a private setting...

good on ya to pay your tab and move on...

 

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8 minutes ago, hornyoldtoad said:

what happens between you and a provider behind closed doors only leaves that room in the form of a review or board posts should it be ok with you both to do so...

everyone in this hobby has a real life and i imagine most want to not have that and their hobby life intersect unintentionally and shed public light on a private setting...

good on ya to pay your tab and move on...

 

I agree

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3 hours ago, Mustang87 said:

You almost certainly did the right thing. For all you knew she was meeting her mother for dinner,  who could have walked in at any moment.

^ THIS ^

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3 hours ago, BigDaddyB68 said:

Y'all have probably discussed this before but I'm curious on your opinions about interactions with providers in public?  

Beat to a pulp, but better than a rate thread. Just keep on truckin'

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I went to visit a provider recently, saw one in the lobby, and another rode up to the same floor I was visiting.  I've never seen the other two before, but I just smiled and nodded.  Do not under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE call her by her provider name in public.  Just smile and nod.

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57 minutes ago, mountainrider33 said:

 It was extremely interesting and I guess everyone needs their daytime job, even if just for camo.

We all have lives that don't involve the hobby, providers, or other hobbyists. Being discreet (in other words, just shut up) is very important.  

The only time I'm a hobbyist, and a woman is a provider, is during an appointment. That's the only place it should be discussed, in person. 

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6 minutes ago, mountainrider33 said:

Damn, you're more strict than HIPPA regulations on medical privacy. I didn't state the city, the business, or the providers name, so there is zero chance someone would know who I'm talking about.  I don't quite get your reply.

I wasn't criticizing you, in any way! I'm sorry you took it that way.

I was just building on your observation that we all have other parts of our lives, away from this hobby. 

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  I never call any lady that is a stripper,porn star or provider their stage name in public......EVER !

  You did the right thing by not intruding on her private life. 

Chances are,if you had only seen her once,she may not remember you. Had that happen once at a social party. Lady introduced herself that I had seen the week before. Her eyes got big and her mouth dropped when she heard my name in the introduction. I simply made normal small talk without mentioning business. She sent me a PM thanking for the discretion.

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This scenario sounds familiar. I was at a bar and grill by myself. My server was a provider I had been seeing in the past, for almost 2 years. We were on very good terms. It almost turned into a sugar like arrangement. I knew her real name and even met her sister.  I helped her out with a little cash when she hit a rough patch. Then she disappeared. Wouldn't answer her phone and she moved. I know, never loan anyone money. It never turns out good

So all she would do was talk in five word sentences. What can I get you.  Was your steak cooked right. Do you want your bill. She would look away from me when she went by to other tables. I asked her about her dog. We would go to the dog park sometimes.  Asked her how she was doing. She wouldn't answer a question period. Like I wasn't even there. I tipped her generously and left. 

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I'v seen my share of provider's at then same place im at , and I don't talk or even notice them 

I don't want them to come over to me in the open and say any thing , I just keep what's going on to myself and I hope hobbyist would do the same for me as I would for them or a provider. 

Funny tho when i see some chick that just walked in looking like she dresses for the strip club I do look lol and go 

"girl really " 

Edited by lustybustygina
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For years, while I was going to the gym regularly, there were 4 ladies who went to the same gym.  One I used to see fairly often BCD. She thanked me for my discretion I’m not approaching her at the gym while she was with her workout partner.

I told her if she was ever there alone and wanted to work out together to just come up to me and tell me. We used to talk and workout together fairly often. She knew she could trust me. Being discrete does  have its benefits. 

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I was having a birthday celebration for my daughter at a restaurant and a regular client of mine who I see weekly was seated right next to me with his family and they were also having a birthday celebration! I did not notice him immediately but once I did, I had this "oh shit" thought. However, both of us played it cool, pretended like we did not know each other and after we left we texted about how awkward it was and had a good laugh!

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On 10/11/2019 at 1:28 PM, Mustang87 said:

You almost certainly did the right thing. For all you knew she was meeting her mother for dinner,  who could have walked in at any moment.

I applaud the OP for acting appropriately!  

As for someone who was outted in a public setting when I was with my mother, discretion works both ways.  Unfortunately, it does not always happen like that. I was at breakfast with another provider last year and a regular came in with his co-workers and sat at the table adjacent from us. We made eye contact and I smiled and continued the conversation with my friend as if I had no idea who he was. He was nervous and shook his head at me like I was going to say something. I just tried to ignore his actions because, well I did not want to bring attention to myself. 

He texted me later that day and thanked me for not saying anything. I was kind of shocked that he didn't just assume that I should know that I'm a well-kept secret, but later learned in another city that was not the case with another provider. 

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I know but in a way it was worth it. It pissed her off that she had to serve me. I could tell it bothered her. I still go there. I had been going there for years. My sugar baby lives in the apartment complex next door. 

 

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On 10/11/2019 at 8:48 PM, JRWolfe said:

  I never call any lady that is a stripper,porn star or provider their stage name in public......EVER !

 

   Correcting myself.   I do call strippers and porn stars by their stage names at industry conventions.such as Exxxotica, Gentlmans Club ,XRCO,XBiz and the AVN Expo.  Those are the only exceptions to my rule.After all,fans do not need to learn the performers REAL names.

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One time walking downtown heading to an event, noticed out of the corner of my eye a hot lady walking down the street toward me. When we came upon each other looked up and it was a provider have seen several times, we were both alone, so at first just smiled she smiled back and gave me a big hug. Really funny thing we were both heading to the same event. 

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6 hours ago, JRWolfe said:

   Correcting myself.   I do call strippers and porn stars by their stage names at industry conventions.such as Exxxotica, Gentlmans Club ,XRCO,XBiz and the AVN Expo.  Those are the only exceptions to my rule.After all,fans do not need to learn the performers REAL names.

That would be in a professional situation, just as our interactions on this board.  To do otherwise would be ‘outing’, just as using RWI here.

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Several years ago I was at a popular downtown Colorado Springs tavern celebrating the end of a great softball season with my team mates when I encountered, what at first, could have been an awkward situation.  A provider I had played with numerous  times, the latest time being just two nights before,  walked in with a stunning lady friend who, as it turns out, was  her sister. I recognized her immediately. She did not notice me at all until one of the members of our team bought both ladies a drink. When the drinks were delivered both ladies turned to my friend and raised their glasses in thanks. My playmate saw me and for a half a second looked at me with a ????? are we cool look?  A slight nod from me and we both knew it was ok. I thought it was all over and done until a second team member bought the ladies a round. Then a third round was offered by another team mate along with an invitation to play darts with us. I was completely surprised and amazed when the ladies agreed. The evening turned out to be whole lot of fun. Lots of good natured flirting, no one got out of line, the ladies did not pay for a thing the rest of the evening, we all enjoyed great wings and bar food and all of us had a good time. I had a text on my phone the next morning  that simply said Thank you. 

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Once I was on my way to an appointment with a provider I’d never met before. I stopped at the Grocery store by her location. As I was checking out there was a lady in another line that looked Just like the provider from her pictures. She made eye contact with me and smiled like she knew me. I thought if it’s her then number one I made the right choice by booking with her and number two the only way she might know me is if she found me on social media or something. Sure enough got to the appointment and it was her wearing the same clothes as at the grocery store. Oddly enough we never discussed it. Another time I saw a provider who I would regularly see at a restaurant. When she left she walked right by my table and looked at me. The person I was with totally checked her out as she passed but I didn’t make eye contact or draw any attention to the situation. Not sure If she saw me.

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Several years ago I was doing some work in a downtown apt and as I was coming down the stairs and a lady I just saw the night before just started coming up. We made eye contact and she turns around and does the fast walk out the front door. I waited for a couple of minutes on the stairs for a lack of better words (so she could get away). We had a great time the night before, but sadly I never contacted her again because I thought it would be a uncomfortable situation for her since I’m pretty sure she lived in that building.  

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I once met a provider a couple of times, many years ago...about 2 years later, bumped into her at a company holiday party. She was there with someone that had worked in the same place as me. We both had awkward looks at each other for a sec but smiled and she greeted me with “how are you tonight” while at the bar ordering drinks, as if we were just being friendly, pretending not to know each other, because her date was there as well. Left it at that. Tried to connect with her again a couple of months down the road but she wasn’t around anymore and had “moved on with her life” in her words. 

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I was on about my third or fourth visit with an old ATF and I arrived at the neighborhood about an hour early.  I had time to kill so I ducked into a coffee shop right nearby and was eyeing the snack case when I heard "hey, handsome" behind me.  Since I rarely hear that, I didn't want to turn too quickly, but I did discretely glance back, and it was my date, who winked at me and smiled.  I offered to treat her to lunch and it instantly became a real live date.  We sat and had the best time (at least I did, not having been on a first date in about 30 years).  After a while, she looked at me and said, "I have to leave, I have an engagement."  I looked very confused, so she winked again and motioned for me to follow her, which I did.

I was totally smitten.

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I was walking out of a hotel with a provider to grab a bite to eat.   We passed another well known provider in the hallway.  I don't think she gave us a second thought.  But my date and I looked at each other and smiled. 

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1 hour ago, BadBoy said:

I was on about my third or fourth visit with an old ATF and I arrived at the neighborhood about an hour early.  I had time to kill so I ducked into a coffee shop right nearby and was eyeing the snack case when I heard "hey, handsome" behind me.  Since I rarely hear that, I didn't want to turn too quickly, but I did discretely glance back, and it was my date, who winked at me and smiled.  I offered to treat her to lunch and it instantly became a real live date.  We sat and had the best time (at least I did, not having been on a first date in about 30 years).  After a while, she looked at me and said, "I have to leave, I have an engagement."  I looked very confused, so she winked again and motioned for me to follow her, which I did.

I was totally smitten.

I love this story...

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A young lady I used to see regularly at a strip club also worked at a grocery store.  Checked out in her lane once and smiled at her, she winked at me.  That was the end of the interaction and I think both of us wanted to just leave it at that.


Seems like common sense.

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I lived in the same city as one of my regulars.

One day I was stopped at a stoplight and she and her dog were crossing the street.

We made eye contact, she recognized me and we waved furiously at one another and that was it until we laughed about it the next time we had a session, at which point she mentioned she had walked by me a few times in Back Hawk on Friday nights but I had never noticed. :)

She later gave me a name that I could call her in public if we ever crossed paths in public again, but we never did.

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