Seeking Advice

[Alex Majors]

I have an account on Seeking Arrangements but have never finished it to message anyone. I got on and saw my favorite dancer had put up a profile. I have known her for years and  see her outside the club, but  just as a friend.  She was a trainwreck when I first met her. I was a piece of the puzzle,  in her getting dried out. I know everything about her, been to her apartments and we just usually go out to eat. She never asks for money but I have helped her with rides and  a few things. So should I just keep our friendship as it is or attempt to contact her to see about an arrangement?

[whosyourdaty]

If your "friends" tell her you saw her profile on  Seeking Arrangements and ask her directly.

 

[sb1212]

What is there to lose? No guts, no glory.  Go for it!!!!😁

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

1 hour ago, Alex Majors said:

I have an account on Seeking Arrangements but have never finished it to message anyone. I got on and saw my favorite dancer had put up a profile. I have known her for years and  see her outside the club, but  just as a friend.  She was a trainwreck when I first met her. I was a piece of the puzzle,  in her getting dried out. I know everything about her, been to her apartments and we just usually go out to eat. She never asks for money but I have helped her with rides and  a few things. So should I just keep our friendship as it is or attempt to contact her to see about an arrangement?

You have been a great friend to her! I am sure she appreciates you a great deal. What exactly is it that you need ? I think it might be nice to tell your friend how proud  you are of her with pulling herself together and doing better for herself is giant! !🥰 Just telling someone a heartfelt “hey I am proud of you”! Does wonder with making you feel incredible inside. 

 

[jasminewaterss7]

Definitely reach out ❤️

[stevie-2249]

If everything is good now keep it the same, you might not like what you get if you try the arrangement.

[gr8owl]

Gotta agree with Stevie.  If you have been friends for years and never taken it into either the business or romantic planes there must be a reason.  Real friends are hard to come by.  "Arrangement" seems like a step backward from friend.  Now if you wanted a real relationship .................. but does not sound like you do.

[coolhand luke]

I think Stevi and gr8owl offer the best advice. 
Romance has never come up between you two before and it might be pushing the limits of your friendship.  When you two are together for other reasons you can discretely mention that you had some thoughts bout seeking SOMEONE (not her but don't say that just,  someone in general) and see where the conversation leads.

[Admiral C]

You need to understand how women think regarding men. You are in the "friend zone". I don't mean when a woman let's you down easy or says "let's be friends" as a way to get rid of you. Women actually decide fairly early after meeting you if there is any chance they will have sex with you or not. If NOT, you may land in the "friend zone". Now, I am NOT saying that the "friend zone" is not a real friend. What I AM saying is that once in that zone, you are NOT getting out...not as a lover. Women don't sex with their friends....except for super rare, heartbroken, drunken accidents. Adding the "sugar daddy" component only slightly changes the dynamic. If she DID go there with you, which is unlikely, your friendship would end. You see, guys can be a woman's friend, and then one day, genuinely fall into her arms. Women don't do that. They are wired differently.

[JoDoe27]

18 minutes ago, Admiral C said:

You need to understand how women think regarding men. You are in the "friend zone". I don't mean when a woman let's you down easy or says "let's be friends" as a way to get rid of you. Women actually decide fairly early after meeting you if there is any chance they will have sex with you or not. If NOT, you may land in the "friend zone". Now, I am NOT saying that the "friend zone" is not a real friend. What I AM saying is that once in that zone, you are NOT getting out...not as a lover. Women don't sex with their friends....except for super rare, heartbroken, drunken accidents. Adding the "sugar daddy" component only slightly changes the dynamic. If she DID go there with you, which is unlikely, your friendship would end. You see, guys can be a woman's friend, and then one day, genuinely fall into her arms. Women don't do that. They are wired differently.

This is so bad and antiquated and wrong it’s almost comical. This has nothing to with how “women think” but a person deciding there isn’t a romantic connection or st least not at the moment. 

1.) hrs been a good friend to her when she’s needed it most. “Friend zone” concept devalues that friendship. 

2.) if OP had feelings for her then maybe express that in a way that doesn’t say “here’s some money, now let me get in them guts”

3.) it almost feels he’s owed romance from her for being a “nice guy”

4.) don’t be all in your feelings thinking something is owed and maybe a romantic connection can be found if that’s what both parties want

5.) why can’t people just be cool? Like damn you can be friends with women, grown ass women, and not need to fuck them and have your feelings hurt if it’s not reciprocated.  Buddy did all these niceties but now it feels like he did so not out a desire to simply be nice but to get some reward and since it didn’t happen organically he’s going about it a different way. 

To the OP; value your fiends. Value your relationships. Offer her some cash for ass and I guarantee that friendship is over or will be severally altered. Or maybe she’ll laugh it off and say she doesn’t view you that way. Or maybe she’ll take you up on it. Either way it’s going to change. Why do things, genuinely nice things for people in a time of need if there’s an expectation of reciprocity? That’s not a friend. That’s a bum. 

[Alex Majors]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.  I was thinking basically the same. I just needed to hear it from others. Didn't want to second guess myself.

If I was only 25 yrs younger, I could see a relationship. We have and do a lot in common. She has come a long way and did it mostly by herself. I tell her that I am proud of her all the time Kali. I have made sure she got home every night for months. In the beginning she was mostly unconscious.  I had to tell her no on many occasions. It was the booze talking. Just don't want to see her get hurt. You are right gr8owl about having a good friend. It is even harder to lose one.

By New Years  her transition will be complete. She will stop dancing and have a new career. Most likely will move on, as she should. 

 

[Phil-anderer]

So... communication.  Be nice, communicate what you are thinking.  If you are gentle, and romance is a no-go, great.  Hopefully you still have a friend, if that is something you value with her.  But be nice.

[Admiral C]

19 hours ago, JoDoe27 said:

This is so bad and antiquated and wrong it’s almost comical. This has nothing to with how “women think” but a person deciding there isn’t a romantic connection or st least not at the moment. 

1.) hrs been a good friend to her when she’s needed it most. “Friend zone” concept devalues that friendship. 

2.) if OP had feelings for her then maybe express that in a way that doesn’t say “here’s some money, now let me get in them guts”

3.) it almost feels he’s owed romance from her for being a “nice guy”

4.) don’t be all in your feelings thinking something is owed and maybe a romantic connection can be found if that’s what both parties want

5.) why can’t people just be cool? Like damn you can be friends with women, grown ass women, and not need to fuck them and have your feelings hurt if it’s not reciprocated.  Buddy did all these niceties but now it feels like he did so not out a desire to simply be nice but to get some reward and since it didn’t happen organically he’s going about it a different way. 

To the OP; value your fiends. Value your relationships. Offer her some cash for ass and I guarantee that friendship is over or will be severally altered. Or maybe she’ll laugh it off and say she doesn’t view you that way. Or maybe she’ll take you up on it. Either way it’s going to change. Why do things, genuinely nice things for people in a time of need if there’s an expectation of reciprocity? That’s not a friend. That’s a bum. 

No offense, but what the hell are you talking about? I SAID just because I wrote "friend zone" does NOT mean she is not a REAL friend. You miss that?  I said NOTHING remotely like he is owed ANYTHING, for being a nice guy or a friend. I also said nothing about being in any feelings or thoughts he is owed romance or anything. As to point 5...yeah...I can be friends with women and not need to fuck them or get feelings hurt. Did you miss the OP's point? He is her friend and obviously wants to "arrange with her"...I did not write shit about that myself. I generally let stupid posts pass, but you just made 5 points about my post, NONE of which I said. It is 100% YOUR opinion, wildly incorrect interpretation, attributed to me. I don't appreciate that. But hey...I can play along. ..

1) You want to argue semantics to appear supportive of the ladies.

2) You want to push the concept of guys, like yourself, being friends with providers...so they will befriend you.

3) As you point out providers don't owe anyone anything...but only you know that.

4) You strongly disagree with guys getting feelings involved with providers....unless she wants to...with OP...or..you?

5) Why can't people be cool like you? There's no friend zones, let down easy, or anything like that. Just mature, genuine friendships like you would provide. And you would not expect any rewards or sex...just be open to it.

Your post is so bad and self serving as to be almost comical. It has nothing to do with MY post, but a person deciding to make a post to curry favor ( or more) with the ladies.

 

[JoDoe27]

On 8/20/2019 at 7:45 PM, Admiral C said:

No offense, but what the hell are you talking about? I SAID just because I wrote "friend zone" does NOT mean she is not a REAL friend. You miss that?  I said NOTHING remotely like he is owed ANYTHING, for being a nice guy or a friend. I also said nothing about being in any feelings or thoughts he is owed romance or anything. As to point 5...yeah...I can be friends with women and not need to fuck them or get feelings hurt. Did you miss the OP's point? He is her friend and obviously wants to "arrange with her"...I did not write shit about that myself. I generally let stupid posts pass, but you just made 5 points about my post, NONE of which I said. It is 100% YOUR opinion, wildly incorrect interpretation, attributed to me. I don't appreciate that. But hey...I can play along. ..

1) You want to argue semantics to appear supportive of the ladies.

2) You want to push the concept of guys, like yourself, being friends with providers...so they will befriend you.

3) As you point out providers don't owe anyone anything...but only you know that.

4) You strongly disagree with guys getting feelings involved with providers....unless she wants to...with OP...or..you?

5) Why can't people be cool like you? There's no friend zones, let down easy, or anything like that. Just mature, genuine friendships like you would provide. And you would not expect any rewards or sex...just be open to it.

Your post is so bad and self serving as to be almost comical. It has nothing to do with MY post, but a person deciding to make a post to curry favor ( or more) with the ladies.

 

Cool your jets,  You made a screed about the friend zone. I didn’t say you can’t be friends with providers. Actually, you know what? Tell me exactly in my post where I said any of those 5 things you attempted to point out. Please do that for me. 

Tell me where I said you can’t be friends providers. Tell me where I said “guys like me” are more deserving of their friendship. Oh! Where did I say you can’t catch feelings? Or where you confused by the fact I said OFFERING CASH was the wrong approach especially if things hadn’t already gone there. And please tell me how you’re out of high school and haven’t matured enough to have moved beyond “the friend zone” or any of the concepts you posted. Get the fuck out of here with that dumb shit. 

I like that I’m currying favor by shitted on your asinine ideas. Man actually, don’t @ me. Don’t answer my questions. Chill in your friend zone. Imma keep doing what I do and not offer my friends donations to break their back. 

Edit: I’m going to leave this up but I also realize your confusion in my original post in that you thought I was aiming directly at you instead of the royal you as well as the idea you were posting. But fuck it. Run it. 

[Admiral C]

On 8/20/2019 at 8:25 PM, JoDoe27 said:

Cool your jets, You made a screed about the friend zone. I didn’t say you can’t be friends with providers. Actually, you know what? Tell me exactly in my post where I said any of those 5 things you attempted to point out. Please do that for me. 

Tell me where I said you can’t be friends providers. Tell me where I said “guys like me” are more deserving of their friendship. Oh! Where did I say you can’t catch feelings? Or where you confused by the fact I said OFFERING CASH was the wrong approach especially if things hadn’t already gone there. And please tell me how you’re out of high school and haven’t matured enough to have moved beyond “the friend zone” or any of the concepts you posted. Get the fuck out of here with that dumb shit. 

I like that I’m currying favor by shitted on your asinine ideas. Man actually, don’t @ me. Don’t answer my questions. Chill in your friend zone. Imma keep doing what I do and not offer my friends donations to break their back. 

Edit: I’m going to leave this up but I also realize your confusion in my original post in that you thought I was aiming directly at you instead of the royal you as well as the idea you were posting. But fuck it. Run it. 

I see you get my point. I rest my case.