Newbie and black

[Admiral C]

Words are peculiar things. They get people fired up. Not that they would admit it, but I bet there are guys here who would not see an AA provider. Not that they would admit it, but I am sure there are guys here who won't see a lady over a certain weight. Not that they will admit it, but I am sure there are ladies here over a certain weight that have less business and\or lower rates because of it. The word here is "discrimination". Even ads can "approve" the word......" For the discriminating client". However we all agree that ladies and clients have the rights of choice. If the other person turns you off it is ok...be they too old...too young....too heavy....too thin...dick too big...dick too small.....ass too big...tits too small....too tall...too short...too bald...too ugly ...it's all good man! However, if they don't turn you on because of race, they are a horrible racist. Let me clue you in on something...discrimination is discrimination and anyone who thinks one is different or worse than another is not as open minded as they think they are. That's how the law sees it too. Let's cut to the truth here. When a provider posts ( or client thinks) "no AA" and you object...you really do NOT believe providers ( or clients) have the right to choose...except for the basis of safety, hygiene, or under adult.

[coking]

Well there is that old saying.. once you go black....

.

 

jk sorry dude better luck researching around and finding the right ladies that don’t mind.

[pfunk]

20 minutes ago, Admiral C said:

Let's cut to the truth here. When a provider posts ( or client thinks) "no AA" and you object...you really do NOT believe providers ( or clients) have the right to choose...except for the basis of safety, hygiene, or under adult.

That's not true at all. There are amazing looking black guys, who would never be turned down, by any civilian woman, due to "preference". However, they will get turned down, by a provider, due to race, alone. 

There are white women (not providers) who date black men exclusively. I've met them. 

There a providers who will see fat, ignorant, white, smokers, but turn down a fit, educated, clean, black man. 

Providers can turn down anyone, for any reason. I would never advocate they "must" see everyone. Just don't claim "preference" when race is the real reason.

[Admiral C]

27 minutes ago, pfunk said:

That's not true at all. There are amazing looking black guys, who would never be turned down, by any civilian woman, due to "preference". However, they will get turned down, by a provider, due to race, alone. 

There are white women (not providers) who date black men exclusively. I've met them. 

There a providers who will see fat, ignorant, white, smokers, but turn down a fit, educated, clean, black man. 

Providers can turn down anyone, for any reason. I would never advocate they "must" see everyone. Just don't claim "preference" when race is the real reason.

I guess you are not understanding what I am saying. Anything other than race is apparently an acceptable preference choice...but not being attracted to a race is bad . Not looking to be arguementative, but tell me. I too have known white women who only date black men. Do you consider them racist?

[JoDoe27]

1 hour ago, Admiral C said:

Words are peculiar things. They get people fired up. Not that they would admit it, but I bet there are guys here who would not see an AA provider. Not that they would admit it, but I am sure there are guys here who won't see a lady over a certain weight. Not that they will admit it, but I am sure there are ladies here over a certain weight that have less business and\or lower rates because of it. The word here is "discrimination". Even ads can "approve" the word......" For the discriminating client". However we all agree that ladies and clients have the rights of choice. If the other person turns you off it is ok...be they too old...too young....too heavy....too thin...dick too big...dick too small.....ass too big...tits too small....too tall...too short...too bald...too ugly ...it's all good man! However, if they don't turn you on because of race, they are a horrible racist. Let me clue you in on something...discrimination is discrimination and anyone who thinks one is different or worse than another is not as open minded as they think they are. That's how the law sees it too. Let's cut to the truth here. When a provider posts ( or client thinks) "no AA" and you object...you really do NOT believe providers ( or clients) have the right to choose...except for the basis of safety, hygiene, or under adult.

You are absolutely right that it’s a form of discrimination if you want to see it as such. And as such when you refuse to see someone based on their race what does that make you? A racist? Racial biased? A bigot? I’ll let you choose how you want to apply it but let’s call that particular form of discrimination exactly what it is. So for any provider that doesn’t see black guys (or anyone based on their race) and since they won’t actually answer that question then I’ll just speculate they’re just racist at most. A bigot at least. And if you fall into the camp of being cool with racial discrimination then you too are a racist at most, a bigot at least, or a sympathizer to some degree. Which, it’s cool right?

Edited August 22, 2019 by JoDoe27

[oldguy47]

So what is AA?  What percentage do I have to be to be AA? Do I need a genetic test? Is it, I know it when I see it?

[Admiral C]

3 hours ago, JoDoe27 said:

You are absolutely right that it’s a form of discrimination if you want to see it as such. And as such when you refuse to see someone based on their race what does that make you? A racist? Racial biased? A bigot? I’ll let you choose how you want to apply it but let’s call that particular form of discrimination exactly what it is. So for any provider that doesn’t see black guys (or anyone based on their race) and since they won’t actually answer that question then I’ll just speculate they’re just racist at most. A bigot at least. And if you fall into the camp of being cool with racial discrimination then you too are a racist at most, a bigot at least, or a sympathizer to some degree. Which, it’s cool right?

Racism is a charged term, so when you use that word everyone gets all fired up. A guy looks at the ads and see's a couple "No AA" providers. Now, I will let YOU apply it however you want.....and consider those advertisers racist, bigots, sympathizers, etc. So  in solidarity he reject those ladies. Then he looks at the ads and decides a couple other BBW ladies are too heavy...they don't attract him, so he passes over them. I'm sure he considers himself a better person than those racist ladies posting "No AA"...but here's the thing...HE IS NOT.

[JoDoe27]

34 minutes ago, Admiral C said:

Racism is a charged term, so when you use that word everyone gets all fired up. A guy looks at the ads and see's a couple "No AA" providers. Now, I will let YOU apply it however you want.....and consider those advertisers racist, bigots, sympathizers, etc. So  in solidarity he reject those ladies. Then he looks at the ads and decides a couple other BBW ladies are too heavy...they don't attract him, so he passes over them. I'm sure he considers himself a better person than those racist ladies posting "No AA"...but here's the thing...HE IS NOT.

It is a charged term that I don’t throw around lightly. It’s crazy to me though more people get fired up by having the label applied to them than the actual act itself. Either way, as I said, if I can’t get a legitimate response or even a response it’s left to me to decide how I view that person. And that goes across the board for any discrimination. 

I know you’re in your 60s and have seen a fair amount of racially charged incidents in your lifetime. I don’t think I should have to try to convince you of why specifically calling out a person’s race as a cause of exclusion would possibly be an issue. 

[Admiral C]

14 minutes ago, JoDoe27 said:

It is a charged term that I don’t throw around lightly. It’s crazy to me though more people get fired up by having the label applied to them than the actual act itself. Either way, as I said, if I can’t get a legitimate response or even a response it’s left to me to decide how I view that person. And that goes across the board for any discrimination. 

I know you’re in your 60s and have seen a fair amount of racially charged incidents in your lifetime. I don’t think I should have to try to convince you of why specifically calling out a person’s race as a cause of exclusion would possibly be an issue. 

I appreciate you saying "possibly an issue". Yes...'no AA" ( or whatever) COULD be racism....but it also could have other reasons as I mentioned in another post. We can't know.

[Bit Banger]

We all discriminate based on various factors and make snap judgements. Sometimes our filters are based on misinformation propagated by peers & up bringing, but sometimes they’re based on personal experience..  

I happen to have difficulties with rotund women because of an abusive relationship in my youth.  It takes a while to get past that, to find their ‘inner person’, before I can be intimate with them. (One of the blessings of these forums is getting to know our prospective dates.)

I’m not saying it’s right.  In a perfect world we’d all accept everyone.  But discrimination is a fact of life.  It’s a survival mechanism, a carryover from our tribal instincts.  I would point out that those of us (self included) who refuse to call YL saying “No AA!” without knowing their reasons are also discriminating.

For what it’s worth, when overseas  I have been refused service because of my race.  It does sting, but is not the end of the world.

Edited August 23, 2019 by Bit Banger

[Vassago]

10 hours ago, JoDoe27 said:

Hi! Black client here and while some of the issue is his newness I can assure you it happens. This topic comes up regularly enough that I would assume at some point some of you would stop turning a blind eye, offering excuses, and really just accept it’s a fucked up behavior that does in fact exist and way more prevalent than many would care to admit because “TOB is the best with the best providers” and whatever else you want to put there. 

Here’s one for you. I’ve been around long enough that it’s easy enough for me to spot and avoid those providers but earlier this year one slipped through the cracks. Well reviewed by several prominent members here, posts here, and has been around for a few years so she fits the bill for a “reputable lady.” I shot her a text with all pertinent info per her required screening, followed by a p411 appointment request, and a confirmation from her that everything was good with the time of several hours later that night and my location. Cool. She let me know when she arrived, and then I got that “provider x had viewed your profile” email from p411. About 5 minutes later I got this text “I don’t see AA.” And that was it. 

So please tell me in here where I fucked up. 

You didn't fuck up. Shit just happens. It happens to me. It happens to you. It happens to everybody. I'm not even all that irritated by the OP. I'm more irritated by the Social Justice Princesses who come her bemoaning the 'horrible inequalities' of those poor black men who supposedly cant get laid. 

 You social justice warriors, you. Hemming and hawing, arm over brow, soon to swoon. "Oh the atrocities!"

What have you actually done about it besides bitch here? I'm going to put aside the fact that we're not talking about water, shelter, food, medicine. We're talking about getting pussy.

This isn't that hard to combat. The only way any of these ladies are going to know you're black (you're one example aside, Joe. She's just an idiot) is if they ask. These are usually the same girls who infallibly ask the same three dumb fucking questions.

Age?
Race?
Are you a cop?

I've been asked these three questions a dozen times or more. In fact, after a while, I just answered them the same way each time:

25
Polynesian
I was suspended

If all you horrified social justice warriors out there (the men obviously, not the women) answer all three questions the same way you will find a lot of confused hookers out there wondering, "Is it just me or is there a shit ton of horny Polynesian suspended cops in Denver right now?"

At the very least, you'll have a good laugh. 

Nobody gave me a handout here when I first started. I ate crow. In fact it was a black man who fed me that crow. 

I'm doing just fine now.

 

[Vassago]

On 8/21/2019 at 0:59 PM, inadifferentvoice said:

I find it amusing how you are justifying racism. Keep in mind this is 2019. Therefore, if a provider says no AA, then I won't see her. I'm not going to give money to a Nazi. 

Except that there are black providers who wont see black men. The only black, 'Nazi' I ever heard of was a character in a Dave Chappelle skit. From my experience, I have found black people far more racist in 2019 than white people. 

[JoDoe27]

Actually @Vassago you don’t know what I do in my personal life to confront racial and other social issues. Period. I assure you it’s far more than simply “bitch here.” But you can keep thinking here is as far as it goes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Further anytime you guys start to make the “but what about” argument I already know it’s rather pointless to continue because as it’s been stated countless times before I’m not going to change anyone’s mind here. Given the general age and make up of this community I don’t really expect that to happen. Which again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

i also don’t find “social justice warrior” or any form as an insult. It’s fairly meh to me and really only comes from those I feel are too weak to confront issues head on and instead placate and roll over. So yet again. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

As for them knowing I’m black I don’t hide that. If they view any of my posting history or my p411 it’s right there, loud and  dry proud. And while I listed a single example I could readily state more if you’d like. That was just the most recent albeit months ago.

So with that said, I appreciate your comment. It really just means I have to work harder on the things I do outside this board to...assuage complacency.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

[JoDoe27]

Oh and on the handout comment. I’ve never understand why others that had it rough almost gleefully like to watch others struggle. Why not try to change that? I guess I don’t understand that mindset but oh well. I’ll keep doing my part for those finding their way here and trying to figure it out. And you know it’s coming....¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[JoDoe27]

3 hours ago, Admiral C said:

I appreciate you saying "possibly an issue". Yes...'no AA" ( or whatever) COULD be racism....but it also could have other reasons as I mentioned in another post. We can't know.

You’re right, it could. I can concede that. But again as long as it’s left to my speculation that’s where I’m going from this point on. Why should I give the benefit of the doubt when I’m not afforded that level of respect? 

[Vassago]

7 minutes ago, JoDoe27 said:

Actually @Vassago you don’t know what I do in my personal life to confront racial and other social issues. Period. I assure you it’s far more than simply “bitch here.” But you can keep thinking here is as far as it goes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

Wasn't referring to what you do in your personal life. I'm talking about the over exaggerated,  ad nauseam  complaints about why providers wont let black guys fuck them. It's really not world peace. It's people fucking each other. Don't like those gals. Move on. 

[Vassago]

4 minutes ago, JoDoe27 said:

And you know it’s coming....¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

What? What's coming?

[JoDoe27]

6 minutes ago, Vassago said:

What? What's coming?

Shruggy! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[Vassago]

59 minutes ago, JoDoe27 said:

Shruggy! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Right.....

[JoDoe27]

10 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

For what it’s worth, when overseas  I have been refused service because of my race.  It does sting, but is not the end of the world.

I don’t want to take away from your experience, but it’s not really the same. You encountered this in another country for a relatively “brief” moment. I say brief because I don’t know how long you were visiting or deployed but nonetheless you experienced it. 

Now imagine your own home, your own country doing this to you. Now imagine experiencing it for a lifetime. Sometimes directly in your face and unyielding and others it’s in the background; not just full blast but on some level it’s there your entire life. That’s not really a “sting” anymore. It just doesn’t compare. 

[Bit Banger]

Throughout my life I’ve travelled.  I remember ‘colored only’ motels & drinking fountains; never understood them.  I remember the race riots of the 60s where blacks destroyed their own neighborhoods.  Never understood that either. Why poison your own well?  I also remember being a ‘honkie’ on the South Side (Chicago) or Montebello (Denver).  But most of those are history (except BLM riots in black neighborhoods). 

The world is changing. Perhaps not as fast as some would like, but changing for the better.

[Chanel Lovely-8985]

I am truly sorry you are getting that kind of response. I hope you were able to find someone. Hang in there. There are some great gals in Colorado. 

[Guest]

On 8/18/2019 at 7:12 PM, Matumbo said:

Looking for someone in the Denver metro area that Is available. I am new to this and I have been getting a lot of “I don’t do black” 

Do they do green? Seriously. If they lived in Africa what type of work would they do? 

It would be nice if everyone was treated as the individual they are, especially in this area of life. But it happens, so just move to the next one.

[Guest]

On 8/23/2019 at 0:46 AM, JoDoe27 said:

You’re right, it could. I can concede that. But again as long as it’s left to my speculation that’s where I’m going from this point on. Why should I give the benefit of the doubt when I’m not afforded that level of respect? 

I've actually asked and have been told it's a personal preference. Ok. Thanks for clarifying. Then move on with no real clarification, just another lesson in perceived race relations, as well as the attitude to keep all my chips and leave the table, lol. That though is a whole nother thread.

[Guest]

26 minutes ago, Kishon said:

Do they do green? Seriously. If they lived in Africa what type of work would they do? 

It would be nice if everyone was treated as the individual they are, especially in this area of life. But it happens, so just move to the next one.

LMFAO😂 I guess they don’t 😂😂😭 and that’s a real ass point there, but knowing those type of people they would be like I only take space money! Marvin on his way right now 😂.

I ain’t trippin off it if one don’t another will so it is what it is 😂😂

[Guest]

12 hours ago, Kishon said:

Do they do green? Seriously. If they lived in Africa what type of work would they do? 

It would be nice if everyone was treated as the individual they are, especially in this area of life. But it happens, so just move to the next one.

LMFAO😂 I guess they don’t 😂😂😭 and that’s a real ass point there, but knowing those type of people they would be like I only take space money! Marvin on his way right now 😂.

I ain’t trippin off it if one don’t another will so it is what it is 😂😂

 

On 8/22/2019 at 5:08 PM, Admiral C said:

I guess you are not understanding what I am saying. Anything other than race is apparently an acceptable preference choice...but not being attracted to a race is bad . Not looking to be arguementative, but tell me. I too have known white women who only date black men. Do you consider them racist?

That’s is a good question.. how I see it it depends on the circumstances if a white Women where to see another race and based of that race make a decision of no the. Yes I would consider that to be a bit of racism or in better words being biased. Whether you have preference or not it shouldn’t be determined on a person by skin. Would a person of color have more of a chance looking like brad pit or a white person have more of a chance being white? Even if it is a well groomed black person the first thought to mind before all else is color. So yup i would be considered that. At the end of the day There is a difference between actuality and reality. actuality it shouldn’t be that way. Should be able to gain a  decision based off a proper screening. Not just screen, see color and make a choice. If there ever really was a choice.🤔 and Reality is it isnt that way and in all honesty each side has a right to say no or have a “preference” to what ever they choose in the first place based off of whatever reason. It’s life. I’m not gonna sit here and act like clients aren’t biased towards different RACES not types because before each one even looks towards a type the race is first that comes to play.

 

On 8/23/2019 at 0:15 AM, Vassago said:

You didn't fuck up. Shit just happens. It happens to me. It happens to you. It happens to everybody. I'm not even all that irritated by the OP. I'm more irritated by the Social Justice Princesses who come her bemoaning the 'horrible inequalities' of those poor black men who supposedly cant get laid. 

 You social justice warriors, you. Hemming and hawing, arm over brow, soon to swoon. "Oh the atrocities!"

What have you actually done about it besides bitch here? I'm going to put aside the fact that we're not talking about water, shelter, food, medicine. We're talking about getting pussy.

This isn't that hard to combat. The only way any of these ladies are going to know you're black (you're one example aside, Joe. She's just an idiot) is if they ask. These are usually the same girls who infallibly ask the same three dumb fucking questions.

Age?
Race?
Are you a cop?

I've been asked these three questions a dozen times or more. In fact, after a while, I just answered them the same way each time:

25
Polynesian
I was suspended

If all you horrified social justice warriors out there (the men obviously, not the women) answer all three questions the same way you will find a lot of confused hookers out there wondering, "Is it just me or is there a shit ton of horny Polynesian suspended cops in Denver right now?"

At the very least, you'll have a good laugh. 

Nobody gave me a handout here when I first started. I ate crow. In fact it was a black man who fed me that crow. 

I'm doing just fine now.

 

Killing me with the 3 question answers 😂😂😂 gotta switch it up and put retired😂😂😭😭😭☠️

[Guest]

On 8/22/2019 at 8:32 PM, oldguy47 said:

So what is AA?  What percentage do I have to be to be AA? Do I need a genetic test? Is it, I know it when I see it?

RIGHT? Gotta pull that ancestry.com profile 😂😂😭😂

[Guest]

On 8/23/2019 at 0:21 AM, Vassago said:

Except that there are black providers who wont see black men. The only black, 'Nazi' I ever heard of was a character in a Dave Chappelle skit. From my experience, I have found black people far more racist in 2019 than white people. 

Kind of a reason for that...ummm 400 plus years cough cough not getting into that

[Mr.Pink]

I've seen plenty of WOC advertise no AA, are they racist? Give me a break, people have their preferences, deal with it and move on. So what if they are racist, you're not going to change what's in their hearts. 

[Mr.Pink]

17 hours ago, Matumbo said:

Kind of a reason for that...ummm 400 plus years cough cough not getting into that

You need some Tommy Sotomayor in your life.