Dita

Why are some hobbyists so disrespectful?

56 posts in this topic

 don't understand the need for such blatant disrespect... Please dont start the coversation with vulgar requests... Why is that necessary? 

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand how you feel it’s unfortunately part of the job 😓

i hope that things get better 

Edited by Calik8
2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why are the lyrics of today’s music so disrespectful?

Listen to some hip-hop or rap artist talk about his lady/ladies and compare that to the lyrics of a Sinatra or Stephen Foster tune.  I’m not trying to deflect from the OP, but it seems that respect has become a scarce commodity w/in our society as evidenced in our political discourse, our music, and in how we treat one another.  I would add that perhaps feminism and demands for equality have stripped away some of the special manners accorded to women.

@Dita, I’m sorry you’ve been treated poorly.  There are still a few men who treasure women.

8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

Why are the lyrics of today’s music so disrespectful?

Listen to some hip-hop or rap artist talk about his lady/ladies and compare that to the lyrics of a Sinatra or Stephen Foster tune.  I’m not trying to deflect from the OP, but it seems that respect has become a scarce commodity w/in our society as evidenced in our political discourse, our music, and in how we treat one another.  I would add that perhaps feminism and demands for equality have stripped away some of the special manners accorded to women.

@Dita, I’m sorry you’ve been treated poorly.  There are still a few men who treasure women.

I agree. When I was young you respected older people. You held a door open for a lady.  You were considerate of others. You waited your turn. Everyone knew the basic rules of getting along in public.  I think people younger than me, just haven't been taught this.  So they are more likely to talk to you ladies inappropriately.   Unless there is a resurgence  of people teaching their children manners, don't expect it to get any better.

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Alex Majors said:

I agree. When I was young you respected older people. You held a door open for a lady.  You were considerate of others. You waited your turn. Everyone knew the basic rules of getting along in public.  I think people younger than me, just haven't been taught this.  So they are more likely to talk to you ladies inappropriately.   Unless there is a resurgence  of people teaching their children manners, don't expect it to get any better.

    Agree, we were taught good manners and to this day,I respect older people ( although they are getting harder to find ) .Open doors for ladies (prior to wheelchair,now they open for me ) . Just called a dear friend, to wish her good results on her second MRI scan wiithin a month.(She sees her doctor today ) and sent her flowers.

I don't understand why this younger generation never turns up for work (still have NC/NS on contracted repairs ) or act all rude and make fun of my stroke condition .

Ladies, I feel for the crap you put up with .  Respect seems more and more to be lost .

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not just the younger generation. There are plenty of men my age who are rude fools. I think it helps them feel better about themselves, and their need to pay for company, to treat escorts poorly. 

I wish they'd work on their self-esteem, and empathy, rather act like children. :cool:

 

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Bit Banger said:

Why are the lyrics of today’s music so disrespectful?

Listen to some hip-hop or rap artist talk about his lady/ladies and compare that to the lyrics of a Sinatra or Stephen Foster tune.  I’m not trying to deflect from the OP, but it seems that respect has become a scarce commodity w/in our society as evidenced in our political discourse, our music, and in how we treat one another.  I would add that perhaps feminism and demands for equality have stripped away some of the special manners accorded to women.

@Dita, I’m sorry you’ve been treated poorly.  There are still a few men who treasure women.

Let’s not blame this on hip hop/rap music or anything with the culture when the disrespect of women is ubiquitous across the board.

Sinatra wasn’t singing about beating women or calling them out their names but let’s not pretend women were treated as equals or not mistreated in general during his prime or the era people like to romanticize. 

If you’d like to have an honest discourse about the treatment of women I can assure you feminism and rap music are not at the heart of the problem. And further, women should not be given “special treatment.” Just treat them as equals, normally, or how you’d generally treat anyone else and offer them that same modicum of respect. If you’re giving special treatment then to me that’s not respect but infantilizing a person. Not quite the same thing as respect.   

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
36 minutes ago, JoDoe27 said:

1)  Let’s not blame this on hip hop/rap music or anything with the culture when the disrespect of women is ubiquitous across the board. ...

2) ... women should not be given “special treatment.” Just treat them as equals, normally, or how you’d generally treat anyone else and offer them that same modicum of respect. ...   

1)  I was not calling rap & hip-hop out as a cause, but rather as a symptom. However as I think about it there is a {chicken|egg} aspect as the music disseminates attitudes throughout our culture.

2)  I hate to break the news to you but men and women ARE NOT EQUAL!!!  Each group has a unique set of talents, strengths, and weaknesses. (Yes, there are outliers who blur the lines.). Why did past generations cosset, and sometimes closet, females?  Because they hold the key to the next generation, to survival of the species.  So males developed strengths and protocols to protect females.  Some of these protocols manifest themselves as manners (holding chairs, walking near the curb, etc.).

Should women have the same rights and respect as men? An emphatic YES!  But do NOT confuse that with being equal.  There are vast differences.

Vive la difference!

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Bit Banger said:

1)  I was not calling rap & hip-hop out as a cause, but rather as a symptom. However as I think about it there is a {chicken|egg} aspect as the music disseminates attitudes throughout our culture.

2)  I hate to break the news to you but men and women ARE NOT EQUAL!!!  Each group has a unique set of talents, strengths, and weaknesses. (Yes, there are outliers who blur the lines.). Why did past generations cosset, and sometimes closet, females?  Because they hold the key to the next generation, to survival of the species.  So males developed strengths and protocols to protect females.  Some of these protocols manifest themselves as manners (holding chairs, walking near the curb, etc.).

Should women have the same rights and respect as men? An emphatic YES!  But do NOT confuse that with being equal.  There are vast differences.

Vive la difference!

Your second point is a different argument and has nothing to do with respect. Physically, yes, we can all certainly agree there are differences but the mundane you mention is simple politeness and chivalry not respecting physical differences. You mentioned “special treatment” and I still disagree with you on that. Realizing and understanding limitations is fine but again, to me, that has little to do with how I treat women on the daily. If we’re friends I talk to you the same as I do any other friend. I do not make it a point to especially hold doors for women but anyone within proximity. If you’re physically struggling to do something and I’m able to help I offer it, man or woman. Beyond that you’re just another face in the crowd deserving the same general level of respect I give strangers. 

On you first point the advent of rap music and the subsequent rise in its popularity did not suddenly usher in some unheard of and absolute new era of women objectification and treatment as second class citizens. Those Turner Classic Movies held in such high regard and harken back to the “golden age of respect” most assuredly stripped women of their autonomy on the regular and absolutely did not treat them respectfully. I take particular umbrage when rap is toted as the problem because it’s often very coded language.

The revolution will not be televised! (Literally has nothing to do with this conversation -I guess you can make a tangential association- I just wanted to put something as well! 😊

Edited by JoDoe27
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Crystyna said:

Yes it is unfortunate! You gotta have some thick skin to work in this biz. I have been called every name in the book, and even some not in the book.  I have been propositioned to do some of the most vile and disgusting things you can imagine. I have been ripped off, have been made to feel unwanted and unattractive. But at the end of the day, I know that the things they say have no reflection on me and who I am as a person. Although some days are way harder than others, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Having the freedom and flexibility to be there for my kids important moments is worth whatever I have to go through, not to mention I have some amazing clients that can make even the worst day feel like the best! 

Agreed, between the name calling, no shows, wild goose chases and game playing it can ware on a girls mental state. Theres been days I've gotten so frustrated that I'm in tears most of the day. But then that 1 or 2 clients pops in and makes everything worth wild again. I love this job and wouldnt change it for anything. 

 

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Bit Banger before we get too far gone I’ll end the conversation here with my last response. Hit me up if you’d like to continue so we don’t dilute this thread further with our differentiating musings. 

Edited by JoDoe27
A word
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, JoDoe27 said:

@Bit Banger before we get too far gone I’ll end the conversation here with my last response. Hit me up if you’d like to continue so we don’t dilute this thread further with our differentiating musings. 

Or you can start a new thread for all to participate.....

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Kaduk said:

Or you can start a new thread for all to participate.....

True! I’m certain many will enjoy the ramblings of an old guy and the idealistic views of a “youngster.” LOL!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Dita said:

 don't understand the need for such blatant disrespect... Please dont start the coversation with vulgar requests... Why is that necessary? 

There’s 7.5 billion people on this planet. There’s bound to be a few idiots.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Crystyna said:

Yes it is unfortunate! You gotta have some thick skin to work in this biz. I have been called every name in the book, and even some not in the book.  I have been propositioned to do some of the most vile and disgusting things you can imagine. I have been ripped off, have been made to feel unwanted and unattractive. But at the end of the day, I know that the things they say have no reflection on me and who I am as a person. Although some days are way harder than others, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Having the freedom and flexibility to be there for my kids important moments is worth whatever I have to go through, not to mention I have some amazing clients that can make even the worst day feel like the best! 

  

 

2 hours ago, Karmen7398 said:

Agreed, between the name calling, no shows, wild goose chases and game playing it can ware on a girls mental state. Theres been days I've gotten so frustrated that I'm in tears most of the day. But then that 1 or 2 clients pops in and makes everything worth wild again. I love this job and wouldnt change it for anything. 

 

Crystyna, Karmen, Dita.... I’m very sorry to hear these experiences...I really am...

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love when they get turned down for an appointment, and call me a whore... Yep, one you wanted to book..... $$$$$$$$

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, Wrangler05 said:

  

 

Crystyna, Karmen, Dita.... I’m very sorry to hear these experiences...I really am...

Thank you!

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
37 minutes ago, Raine-7379 said:

I love when they get turned down for an appointment, and call me a whore... Yep, one you wanted to book..... $$$$$$$$

Right, or they don't like your rates, or the services your offer. Suddenly we are all ugly fat sluts who deserve to eat shit!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, Crystyna said:

Thank you!

Thank you

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Crystyna said:

Right, or they don't like your rates, or the services your offer. Suddenly we are all ugly fat sluts who deserve to eat shit!

I love when called a slut I tell them thank you it's a lot of work to get to my experiences and maybe one day they'll be a worthy slut too...  I usually dont hear anything back after that lmao.

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, pfunk said:

It's not just the younger generation. There are plenty of men my age who are rude fools. I think it helps them feel better about themselves, and their need to pay for company, to treat escorts poorly. 

I wish they'd work on their self-esteem, and empathy, rather act like children. :cool:

 

This ^^^  definitely not just the youngsters and a generational thing. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Remember all the water in the world can’t sink a boat unless you let it in. Those that are rude crude and socially unacceptable don’t have their own  parade  So they need to rain on yours to feel better. I feel bad for them, and count myself  fortunate not to be them ... their opinion is more a reflection of who they are not who you are keep your head up and move forward.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the golden rules in life:  Do not let the assholes get you down.  They exist for a reason.  So use them as a reference and better appreciate the good.

It's the same for bad days, just different:)

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I entered the working force I got a job at the Holiday Inn. At that time the working gals would set at the bar and wait for men to come up to them. I worked the night audit and the ladies would come up to the desk on their way out to chat, to talk about their family, their day, what was going on in the world.. just small talk. I got to know the provider long before I had any experience with the service they provided.

I was lucky in that I got to know the provider as a person, as someone's daughter, as someone's mother. I got to know them as someone who just wanted to make a better life for themselves and their family. I got to know them as people who had dreams and plans for a better future, people who liked movies and tv shows, ladies that where smart, who where well educated. I got to know them for who they are and not what they do.

It is to bad that people often see you ladies for the service you provide and not for the person you are. Those that don't treat you like someone's daughter or someone's sister are not gentlemen and their actions are a reflection of who they are, not who you are. You should always be treated with respect... always.

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Life is cyclical.

Every generation says “kids these days are so rude and entitled” “back in my day I walked up hill both ways to school and broke my back for my elders” 

please give me a break 😅 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
33 minutes ago, scarecrow said:

When I entered the working force I got a job at the Holiday Inn. At that time the working gals would set at the bar and wait for men to come up to them. I worked the night audit and the ladies would come up to the desk on their way out to chat, to talk about their family, their day, what was going on in the world.. just small talk. I got to know the provider long before I had any experience with the service they provided.

I was lucky in that I got to know the provider as a person, as someone's daughter, as someone's mother. I got to know them as someone who just wanted to make a better life for themselves and their family. I got to know them as people who had dreams and plans for a better future, people who liked movies and tv shows, ladies that where smart, who where well educated. I got to know them for who they are and not what they do.

It is to bad that people often see you ladies for the service you provide and not for the person you are. Those that don't treat you like someone's daughter or someone's sister are not gentlemen and their actions are a reflection of who they are, not who you are. You should always be treated with respect... always.

Thank you! Thank you! Hopefully you've helped educate at least one "hobbiest"!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 8/14/2019 at 2:29 PM, scarecrow said:

When I entered the working force I got a job at the Holiday Inn. At that time the working gals would set at the bar and wait for men to come up to them. I worked the night audit and the ladies would come up to the desk on their way out to chat, to talk about their family, their day, what was going on in the world.. just small talk. I got to know the provider long before I had any experience with the service they provided.

I was lucky in that I got to know the provider as a person, as someone's daughter, as someone's mother. I got to know them as someone who just wanted to make a better life for themselves and their family. I got to know them as people who had dreams and plans for a better future, people who liked movies and tv shows, ladies that where smart, who where well educated. I got to know them for who they are and not what they do.

It is to bad that people often see you ladies for the service you provide and not for the person you are. Those that don't treat you like someone's daughter or someone's sister are not gentlemen and their actions are a reflection of who they are, not who you are. You should always be treated with respect... always.

I never understood how you CAN'T see a provider that way (as another/"regular" lady). Just because a lady provides a certain service doesn't mean they don't deserve to be treated as you would treat any other lady you would "date" or even pick up at the club in the real world. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, especially if you are engaging in something as personal and intament as you do in "hobby" type activities. And yes even if it is just a wbtym/"just getting your rocks off", getting undressed and engaging in skin to skin contact (for some just simply undressed in front of someone else) is a vulnerable thing. though for different people there are different levels of vulnerability there is still almost always some level of vulnerability to engage in bcd activities and those who chose to do it as a profession should be given that courtesy to not worry about feeling downgraded for it in any way

7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Strange_Ice said:

I never understood how you CAN'T see a provider that way (as another/"regular" lady). Just because a lady provides a certain service doesn't mean they don't deserve to be treated as you would treat any other lady you would "date" or even pick up at the club in the real world. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, especially if you are engaging in something as personal and intament as you do in "hobby" type activities. And yes even if it is just a wbtym/"just getting your rocks off", getting undressed and engaging in skin to skin contact (for some just simply undressed in front of someone else) is a vulnerable thing. though for different people there are different levels of vulnerability there is still almost always some level of vulnerability to engage in bcd activities and those who chose to do it as a profession should be given that courtesy to not worry about feeling downgraded for it in any way

After reading this thread I was trying to decide what to post.  But Strange_Ice, you put my sentiments in words better than I could have.  Thanks !

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now