Posted August 2, 2019 Soooo, I have a question. First a little background.. I have dabbled in this hobby (gawd! I loathe that characterization, but it garners understanding) off and on for many years. Unfortunately for me my daliances are puntuated by significant absences. There are many lovely ladies on this site that I'd love to meet, but because I lack 'current' enough references, I don't bother to reach out to a lady I might otherwise like to see. My question is, are there alternatives to provider references that I may not be aware of AND what is the proper etiquette once you've had an encounter with a lady.. do you ask if you might use her as a reference?? In some ways, I would think that asking might give a wrong impression (dissatisfaction, etc).. and I certainly don't want to do that.. I merely have a penchant for *blush* variety.. thanks for the anticipated advice.. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 Why don't you just call or message a lady? Pretty simole, worst they can say is no 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 Theres lots of reference friendly ladies and we support each other..... Youre overthinking it! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 7 hours ago, cowboy said: Soooo, I have a question. First a little background.. I have dabbled in this hobby (gawd! I loathe that characterization, but it garners understanding) off and on for many years. Unfortunately for me my daliances are puntuated by significant absences. There are many lovely ladies on this site that I'd love to meet, but because I lack 'current' enough references, I don't bother to reach out to a lady I might otherwise like to see. My question is, are there alternatives to provider references that I may not be aware of AND what is the proper etiquette once you've had an encounter with a lady.. do you ask if you might use her as a reference?? In some ways, I would think that asking might give a wrong impression (dissatisfaction, etc).. and I certainly don't want to do that.. I merely have a penchant for *blush* variety.. thanks for the anticipated advice.. One of the most important things to consider as a gentleman who doesn't hobby often, and who likes to see a variety of women, and not the same lady each time, is the providers reference policy. I can't stress this enough. Make sure to find someone who is reference friendly. Meaning they have no issues with other providers contacting them to give a reference for you. A lot of providers say they are reference friendly, but in actuality they are not. They go out of their way to not provide the reference. So get them to say their policy up front. Trust me on this. Also, if they get funky with you when you ask them about their policy, they're definitely going to be funky with a provider when they reach out for a reference. I would also say if the providers policy is that they require you to come back and see them every 3-6 mos to keep your reference in good standing, that won't do someone like you much good. Choose a lady who will gives references for at least a year. Find a newbie friendly lady, find out all her requirements for screening, ususally RW info, reach out and tell her your circumstances, and ask her reference sharing policy. I think being polite, honest and direct is the best way to go. Good Luck sir. 💙 11 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 21 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: One of the most important things to consider as a gentleman who doesn't hobby often, and who likes to see a variety of women, and not the same lady each time, is the providers reference policy. I can't stress this enough. Make sure to find someone who is reference friendly. Meaning they have no issues with other providers contacting them to give a reference for you. A lot of providers say they are reference friendly, but in actuality they are not. They go out of their way to not provide the reference. So get them to say their policy up front. Trust me on this. Also, if they get funky with you when you ask them about their policy, they're definitely going to be funky with a provider when they reach out for a reference. I would also say if the providers policy is that they require you to come back and see them every 3-6 mos to keep your reference in good standing, that won't do someone like you much good. Choose a lady who will gives references for at least a year. Find a newbie friendly lady, find out all her requirements for screening, ususally RW info, reach out and tell her your circumstances, and ask her reference sharing policy. I think being polite, honest and direct is the best way to go. Good Luck sir. 💙 This 100% 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 Also please don’t get up in arms if you don’t have references, reviews, or a verified profile on like p411 and the provider asks you for personal info. I keep getting this and it’s so disrespectful. Most of us give you other options, it’s not our fault if you can’t provide them. And don’t turn it around on us either, asking for our personal info. Because most likely we have reviews, verified profiles and a good reputation. If you can’t trust that then how tf do you expect me to trust your word? Honestly this treatment lately makes me not want to see newbies at all. Providers- if you’ve been getting nasty or threatening messages from guys like this- trust your gut. And lemme know please so I can block them ❤️ 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 5 minutes ago, MyraGold said: Also please don’t get up in arms if you don’t have references, reviews, or a verified profile on like p411 and the provider asks you for personal info. I keep getting this and it’s so disrespectful. Most of us give you other options, it’s not our fault if you can’t provide them. And don’t turn it around on us either, asking for our personal info. Because most likely we have reviews, verified profiles and a good reputation. If you can’t trust that then how tf do you expect me to trust your word? Honestly this treatment lately makes me not want to see newbies at all. Providers- if you’ve been getting nasty or threatening messages from guys like this- trust your gut. And lemme know please so I can block them ❤️ Not threatening but man nasty attitudes. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 1 hour ago, MyraGold said: Providers- if you’ve been getting nasty or threatening messages from guys like this- trust your gut. And lemme know please so I can block them ❤️ I would just like to add if you get nasty or threatening messages from guys about anything, cut off communication with those guys immediately and report. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 1 hour ago, Calik8 said: Not threatening but man nasty attitudes. Yes, nasty attitudes with clients or providers, let us know. That's how we look out for one another. 💙 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 There are other ways OP can get Re-screened or there are alternative ways to be screened . Or See Newbie Friendy Ladies who do screen .. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 2, 2019 (edited) 2 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Yes, nasty attitudes with clients or providers, let us know. That's how we look out for one another. 💙 Clients ill pm you 😊 Edited August 2, 2019 by Calik8 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 3, 2019 I would say if you’ve recently seen a nice lady, leave her a review, if not, find someone who is newbie friendly and leave her a review... reviews can help clients as well as providers... if you have left a lady a positive review she will more than likely return the favor with a positive reference... just my .02... there are other good ideas h listed here as well.... have a great one... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 3, 2019 I want to clarify.. I meant no disrespect, I absolutely understand the need for safety and security for all parties.. my post was sincere in its intent to obtain info on what I might do if I wanted to see a lady who seemed to require references. Call me naive, but had I known it might be as simple as calling and asking if there was alternative information I might be able to offer up in lieu of a reference, that was all I was seeking clarity on. To any who read my post and took it to be nasty or disrespectful, my apologies. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 3, 2019 4 hours ago, cowboy said: I want to clarify.. I meant no disrespect, I absolutely understand the need for safety and security for all parties.. my post was sincere in its intent to obtain info on what I might do if I wanted to see a lady who seemed to require references. Call me naive, but had I known it might be as simple as calling and asking if there was alternative information I might be able to offer up in lieu of a reference, that was all I was seeking clarity on. To any who read my post and took it to be nasty or disrespectful, my apologies. Hope that no one took t the wrong way. Personally glad you asked ❤️ So many don’t and it hurts every one when you assume. ( not referencing this post) hope you have luck in your endeavors 😘 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 3, 2019 (edited) 20 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: One of the most important things to consider as a gentleman who doesn't hobby often, and who likes to see a variety of women, and not the same lady each time, is the providers reference policy. I can't stress this enough. Make sure to find someone who is reference friendly. Meaning they have no issues with other providers contacting them to give a reference for you. A lot of providers say they are reference friendly, but in actuality they are not. They go out of their way to not provide the reference. So get them to say their policy up front. Trust me on this. Also, if they get funky with you when you ask them about their policy, they're definitely going to be funky with a provider when they reach out for a reference. I would also say if the providers policy is that they require you to come back and see them every 3-6 mos to keep your reference in good standing, that won't do someone like you much good. Choose a lady who will gives references for at least a year. Find a newbie friendly lady, find out all her requirements for screening, ususally RW info, reach out and tell her your circumstances, and ask her reference sharing policy. I think being polite, honest and direct is the best way to go. Good Luck sir. 💙 Thank you, Hunter, for sharing this important information. Should I ever have the opportunity and circumstances to inquire about a session, which would be my first as a newbie, reference information and suggestions would be very useful. Chances are, given my very limited resources, I would not be able to 'hobby' or meet providers often either, which makes information you shared very pertinent. Thank you. Edited August 3, 2019 by sweetmoment 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 5, 2019 Hey Cowboy, I'm also In infrequent "hobbyist," so I run into similar issues. I always ask a provider if she is willing to provide a reference. This serves two purposes. First, I can make sure she is reference-friendly. Secondly, it serves to remind the provider of who you are and why you're worthy of a reference. I usually do my best to give a distinct gift that I hope she will remember me by in the future. You could also try P411. The same thing can apply. Providers may still want more information than the P411 "OK's," but it's another easy system where you can be verified. I don't remember whether they are accepting new members, but it's been useful to me in the past. Finally, I have built up some relationships with people on this board. Because of my posts and my respectful attitude, several providers on this board have been happy to see me. For us guys who can't get out that often, every little bit helps. Good luck out there. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted August 5, 2019 Even with p411 Okays every one should still be asking about the gent , should be asking the last 2-3 ladies he's seen in the last 6mo or year. P411 to become a new member now for gent's you need 2- Providers to vouch for you that you have seen . 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
