Canceling abuses what to do/define:: both for Ladies and Gentlemen

[Bit Banger]

...

My definition was for Established providers.  Reputations are another matter.

I get your point about folks not writing ‘bad’ reviews for anything less than a rip-off.   Guilty myself sometimes, though I wrote more than a few AVERAGE (A fair session, just didn’t knock my socks off.) reviews.  It’s just not worth the firestorm.

I tend to agree with you about NC/NS situations.  If she cancels when you’re at her door, it’s still a NO SHOW!!!  But PTB have decided otherwise - their board, their rules.

[Kaduk]

23 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

...

My definition was for Established providers.  Reputations are another matter.

I get your point about folks not writing ‘bad’ reviews for anything less than a rip-off.   Guilty myself sometimes, though I wrote more than a few AVERAGE (A fair session, just didn’t knock my socks off.) reviews.  It’s just not worth the firestorm.

I tend to agree with you about NC/NS situations.  If she cancels when you’re at her door, it’s still a NO SHOW!!!  But PTB have decided otherwise - their board, their rules.

As stated in this thread https://theotherboard.com/forum/index.php?/topic/44166-no-show/&do=findComment&comment=477824

Reviews drop down menu---> Experience---> No Show - (Ghosting clarification);

• Ghosting would be defined as when an agreed/confirmed appointment/session time and date passes and the Lady and/or Gentleman suddenly cuts all ties and communication with the other person (no-call no-show).

Communicated Cancellation:

• Communications that breaks the agreed/confirmed appointment/session time and date should work towards rescheduling.

In General Ghosting should never be tolerated either with the Ladies and/or Gentleman. Communication to reschedule is the central theme to achieve a positive outcome and to understand the motive/reasons for cancelling the confirmed appointment in the first place.

Cancelling should never become a repetitive practice and normalized for any individual. We understand that cancellations can happen but for the most part canceling is used as a tool to otherwise abuse the integrity of the initial appointment.

______________________________________________

Lets open up the conversation/dialog pertaining to Communicated Cancellation of an agreed/confirmed appointment/session time and date from both the Ladies & Gents points of view, separate and apart from "Ghosting".

"Cancelling should never become a repetitive practice and normalized for any individual. We understand that cancellations can happen but for the most part canceling is used as a tool to otherwise abuse the integrity of the initial appointment."

• What to do about canceling abuses/how to define ....

[Bit Banger]

1 hour ago, Kaduk said:

 

Lets open up the conversation/dialog pertaining to Communicated Cancellation of an agreed/confirmed appointment/session time and date from both the Ladies & Gents points of view, separate and apart from "Ghosting".

"Cancelling should never become a repetitive practice and normalized for any individual. We understand that cancellations can happen but for the most part canceling is used as a tool to otherwise abuse the integrity of the initial appointment."

• What to do about canceling abuses/how to define ....

Let me start by saying, Thank you for opening a discussion on this troubling topic. Should we have a separate thread?

On a different board NoShows, including NC/NS are posted on the local discussion forum, to eventually scroll off the screen of new threads. The argument is no session/no review.  A last minute (<1hr) cancellation counts as a No Show, but a last minute agreed upon rescheduling would not.

The problem with the current TOB policy on cancellations is that we don’t have a record and therefore can’t discern patterns, abusive or otherwise.  Last minute cancellations are expensive (travel time, preparation time, opportunity, etc.) for both provider & client.

Perhaps a separate forum with fixed format posts for cancellations.  I’d even say let it be open to both clients and providers for posting notices.  The biggest issue I see is identifying the suspects w/o revealing RW information (phone#).  Perhaps allow the accused to offer an explanation, and allow the plaintiff to add notes about rescheduled appointments.  As for what’s abusive, that’s a personal choice during screening.  Some may chose to set the bar low; others may have more tolerance.

Just a few thoughts to start the ball rolling.

Edited July 19, 2019 by Kaduk
As noted---> Should we have a separate thread? The topic is now split off to create its own.

[BadBoy]

I didn't exactly follow Kudak's comments, but it appears that at least one moderator is open to allowing communications regarding rudeness on the part of participants.  I think the sharing of information would be a good thing.  The problem we have now is that there is no way to share information, the men can't post that sort of review, and the ladies don't have any real channel to share the information.

I, for one, would be strongly in favor of a fourth forum, similar to TOB 411, where we could post actual names, etc. of folks who cancel at the last second, so they are not "technically" NCSN for review purposes.

Let me be clear, this should be available for postings by both ladies and gentlemen.  My guess is that for every one lady who cancels at the last second, there are ten guys who cancel at the last second, or worse, go ghost.

[Kaduk]

8 hours ago, BadBoy said:

I didn't exactly follow Kudak's comments, but it appears that at least one moderator is open to allowing communications regarding rudeness on the part of participants.  I think the sharing of information would be a good thing.  The problem we have now is that there is no way to share information, the men can't post that sort of review, and the ladies don't have any real channel to share the information.

I, for one, would be strongly in favor of a fourth forum, similar to TOB 411, where we could post actual names, etc. of folks who cancel at the last second, so they are not "technically" NCSN for review purposes.

Let me be clear, this should be available for postings by both ladies and gentlemen.  My guess is that for every one lady who cancels at the last second, there are ten guys who cancel at the last second, or worse, go ghost.

Basically Ghosting is one thing separate and apart from abusing the Canceling and rescheduling perimeters.

For this thread the focus is when someone cancels through communicating that fact. Most cancellations will lead to a rescheduling..

We need to talk about Canceling to include the Rescheduling component.

[Bit Banger]

On 7/19/2019 at 11:32 AM, Kaduk said:

Basically Ghosting is one thing separate and apart from abusing the Canceling and rescheduling perimeters.

For this thread the focus is when someone cancels through communicating that fact. Most cancellations will lead to a rescheduling..

Yes, ghosting is already covered under NCNS policies.

I can think of several situations where rescheduling doesn’t happen:

• One or both parties are travelers
• Numerous schedule conflicts or lack of opportunities
• Post-agreement but prior to the appointment, one party fails screening
• One party is too but hurt to reschedule.

But rescheduling should be addressed in any forum covering this topic.  If Party A cancels on Party B, Party B reports this, then Party B should also be responsible for reporting when they finally do get together with Party A.

[gr8owl]

If either party cancels an hour or more before the agreed time, no harm no foul.  Cancel later than that it is a reviewable "late cancellation", call it no show if preferred.  No communication until after the appointed time or not at all, just silence - the dreaded no call no show and should get a red flag same as "caught self reviewing" subject to believable rebuttal.  No call no show is unacceptable bullshit.  The rest - shit happens, reschedule or don't.  Unless prepared to allow clients to be reviewed (opens many cans o worms) not sure how you allow for ladies to ding guys.  I thought that was what the ladies only board used to be for before it vanished.

[pfunk]

Personally, I'd love to see reviews for clients, by the providers. I'm sure I'd bust a gut, and be humiliated, at the same time! 

Edited July 20, 2019 by pfunk

[Audrey Astor]

I do not post handles, numbers, names, in an open forum. I just feel like it's drama, and opens up retaliation scenarios.

We do have behind the scenes ladies only areas where we share this info.  Word does get around. The ladies are mostly pretty tight these days, and bonded.  I thought the guys had a guys only area as well?

[Bit Banger]

10 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said:

I do not post handles, numbers, names, in an open forum. I just feel like it's drama, and opens up retaliation scenarios.

Understandable, but w/o a private area not very productive.  

I would point out that clients face retaliation scenarios with every review.  There was a provider (now retired) who would black list clients if her review was anything less than FANTASTIC.

[pfunk]

8 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

Understandable, but w/o a private area not very productive.  

I would point out that clients face retaliation scenarios with every review.  There was a provider (now retired) who would black list clients if her review was anything less than FANTASTIC.

One provider... I've never had any negative consequences for a review. However, I do lotsa homework, and try to choose providers who I think will click with me. 

I do wish the girls could review the guys! 

Edited July 20, 2019 by pfunk
add a thought

[lustybustygina]

9 hours ago, pfunk said:

One provider... I've never had any negative consequences for a review. However, I do lotsa homework, and try to choose providers who I think will click with me. 

I do wish the girls could review the guys! 

I do wish this was a thing we could do , I  would give him a -10 on bad behavior on the word NO Stop hurting Me and when he can't listen tell you kick them out !!

Edited July 20, 2019 by lustybustygina

[JoDoe27]

11 hours ago, pfunk said:

I do wish the girls could review the guys! 

You can’t get ladies to comment on or even be completely open in the forums when it comes to how they truly feel on certain topics out of fear ostracizing from other providers and lose of business. Do you really think they’d openly put out a negative review?  

[Audrey Astor]

If someone behaves with integrity, they don't have a problem speaking the truth. Sometimes it's just not worth the drama. I'm an open book though, feel free to PM me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Calik8]

21 hours ago, lustybustygina said:

I do wish this was a thing we could do , I  would give him a -10 on bad behavior on the word NO Stop hurting Me and when he can't listen tell you kick them out !!

Omg right!!!

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

22 hours ago, Audrey Astor said:

If someone behaves with integrity, they don't have a problem speaking the truth. Sometimes it's just not worth the drama. I'm an open book though, feel free to PM me.

Audrey you said it perfectly for me! 

I had two last minute cancellations. One was a no show.  I let go of another because he was being demanding and hurtful towards me. You win more favor with honey I said  to him and then I blocked him.  So after my big walk I saw someone I haven’t seen since last May. It was truly a beautiful day!💋  So beautiful out too! Enjoying this weekend fully!😘😘

[Nina Faulkner]

On 7/20/2019 at 6:45 PM, JoDoe27 said:

You can’t get ladies to comment on or even be completely open in the forums when it comes to how they truly feel on certain topics out of fear ostracizing from other providers and lose of business. Do you really think they’d openly put out a negative review?  

Yes.  I think they would.  If it pertained to payment, violence, harrassment, NS/NC, untrue info, etc then yes.   However the mods would have to be on the lookout for those that just wanted to be vindictive or had a bad day.  As they do now with our reviews by gentlemen.

[Vassago]

Poor Bit. He just wanted to talk about cancelling abuses.

Edited July 23, 2019 by Kaduk
thread post were split off now shows under ---> behind the scenes only areas

[Bit Banger]

1 hour ago, Vassago said:

Poor Bit. He just wanted to talk about cancelling abuses.

I have no problem with the drift of this thread.  I was the one who opened the door by suggesting that both M & F be allowed to post MoShow/Cancel reports.  It’s not like performance reviews, it’s just reporting rude behavior.

But fellas, if you are gentlemen then there should be no fear of full blown reviews by the ladies.  2small, ED, etc.?  Most of the ladies don’t really care (correct me if I’m wrong here, ladies.) as long as you are punctual, polite, hygienic, and generous.

[Vassago]

So to get back to the OP and original topic. I'm still confused about what the official definition of a "No Show" is. I had an incident occur last night that in my mind constitutes a No Show. I'll run this scenario by you and hopefully get some constructive feedback. The reason I have not submitted a review is because I'm still not sure this qualifies.

I set up an appointment at 3PM for 8PM later that night with a relatively new lady with only a few reviews.. I live pretty far away from the incall location so I leave an hour and 10 minutes from the appointment start time (6:50). I text her to let her know I'm headed her way. Mind you she still hasn't told me the exact location, yet. A lot of ladies wont reveal this info until an hour before appointment time, so I don't think anything is out of the ordinary. There's a tavern in the area that is close to pretty much anywhere we would meet in that part of town. I'll get there a little early, grab a cocktail, and wait for further information. 

At 7:20 (30 minutes prior to appointment time), I'm on the road. I see a text. "Can we do 8:45 instead?"

I reply while driving "?" because that's all I'm going to text while I'm driving. I pull over and text her that I'm already over half way to the area. I've been driving for 30 minutes. I say to myself, fuck it. I'm going to the tavern whether she flakes on me or not. If she ghosts me, Ill try and make an appointment with someone more reliable. I get there at around 7:35. I don't receive anything back from her. So I let her know that I'm going to move on. Have a good night.

Almost right away, she manages to find the time to let me know she had to go to the store. She had literally 5 hours to go to the store. I text her back and say, alright. I can hang here until 8:45.  I'll grab a drink in the meantime. So I wait for her to text me her location.

Silence.

8:45.

Silence. 

I make another appointment with someone reliable. Then I get home. And this shit starts stewing in my brain. I message this lady through ToB that essentially she was a complete waste of my time, gas, and money. Her response comes back AFTER I messaged this and well beyond the original agreed upon time.

I realize that technically this is not a No Call No Show, but why is there not a category for this? I want to review this lady, so none of you run into the same situation, but I feel like my hands are tied as a reviewer. This is one of the main reasons I don't write many of them anymore, especially a bad one. 

 

[Vassago]

21 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

I have no problem with the drift of this thread.  I was the one who opened the door by suggesting that both M & F be allowed to post MoShow/Cancel reports.  It’s not like performance reviews, it’s just reporting rude behavior.

But fellas, if you are gentlemen then there should be no fear of full blown reviews by the ladies.  2small, ED, etc.?  Most of the ladies don’t really care (correct me if I’m wrong here, ladies.) as long as you are punctual, polite, hygienic, and generous.

I can't believe this idea is being taken seriously. I'm willing to bet most of the guys here are not as attractive as the ladies. I'm also willing to bet that self esteem is a big factor in this hobby for a lot of the guys, myself included. They introduce reviews for clients, I'm done for good. I can't imagine I'd be the only one. When was the last time you saw a department store write a public complaint about their customers' back hair or their tiny dicks? Seriously?

[Admiral C]

9 minutes ago, Vassago said:

I can't believe this idea is being taken seriously. I'm willing to bet most of the guys here are not as attractive as the ladies. I'm also willing to bet that self esteem is a big factor in this hobby for a lot of the guys, myself included. They introduce reviews for clients, I'm done for good. I can't imagine I'd be the only one. When was the last time you saw a department store write a public complaint about their customers' back hair or their tiny dicks? Seriously?

I would'nt worry about it too much....never going to happen. You are absolutely right that there is a HUGE ego component in this gig. We all fancy ourselves master stick-men and gourmet master chef lick-men. It would be terrible for business for ladies to share the truth...ESPECIALLY publicly. We guys are ALL absolute Adonis Sex Gods....that should be the story and smart money sticks to it!

[Vassago]

18 minutes ago, Admiral C said:

I would'nt worry about it too much....never going to happen. You are absolutely right that there is a HUGE ego component in this gig. We all fancy ourselves master stick-men and gourmet master chef lick-men. It would be terrible for business for ladies to share the truth...ESPECIALLY publicly. We guys are ALL absolute Adonis Sex Gods....that should be the story and smart money sticks to it!

Well spoken. My thoughts exactly.

[ilovewomen]

Lots of people have varying opinions on what constitutes a cancellation versus ghosting or NCNS.

I think Kaduk defined the difference very good for everyone here.

If a ghosting or NCNS does occur, it is a reviewable subject in the reviews.

However if a cancellation occurs, we do not have an outlet on TON to post about a cancellation and help others discern if this is a pattern or not.

However, I’m not so sure having an outlet like that is a good thing. 

Life happens to us all and some things are out of our control.  Being able to post about a cancellation almost seems vindictive to me.

I will say this though, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. If there is to be an open forum or thread allowing posts about cancellations,  it should include men and women. 

By having such an outlet, we could all see a pattern.  And that can include if a particular man or woman is constantly posting about cancellations. That could be indicative that maybe the problem lies with the poster.

Just some random thoughts rattling around inside of my skull tonight.

[Hunter VanDyke]

7 hours ago, Vassago said:

I can't believe this idea is being taken seriously. I'm willing to bet most of the guys here are not as attractive as the ladies. I'm also willing to bet that self esteem is a big factor in this hobby for a lot of the guys, myself included. They introduce reviews for clients, I'm done for good. I can't imagine I'd be the only one. When was the last time you saw a department store write a public complaint about their customers' back hair or their tiny dicks? Seriously?

Vassago, sounds like you would be very surprised by who would get the best reviews, if you think we are going off of appearance or how well the guys perform.  The guys who get my best references are average, everyday, ordinary guys, and ordinary guys don't have perfect bodies, perfect cocks, and come with their own set of issues sometimes...yet they are extraordinary gentleman, and always fun, and a pleasure to be with. However, there might be ladies who are as crude as some of the men who post crude reviews, but that would be the clients responsibility in screening out, and not seeing those ladies if that's a concern they have.

 

[Vassago]

16 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Vassago, sounds like you would be very surprised by who would get the best reviews, if you think we are going off of appearance or how well the guys perform.  The guys who get my best references are average, everyday, ordinary guys, and ordinary guys don't have perfect bodies, perfect cocks, and come with their own set of issues sometimes...yet they are extraordinary gentleman, and always fun, and a pleasure to be with. However, there might be ladies who are as crude as some of the men who post crude reviews, but that would be the clients responsibility in screening out, and not seeing those ladies if that's a concern they have.

 

I get that you wouldn’t do it, but there are definitely ladies that will review guys negatively for the most inane shit. The women that post reviews on their client’s anatomical proportions or anything else they find sub par about them will soon find their cell phones becoming very quiet. Simply from an economic stand point, the idea of reviewing customers is disastrous. Even if you were intending to write a glowing review, you never know if/when the things you say are going to piss somebody off. 

On the other hand, rebuttals from clients would probably also be allowed. And when you get a pissed off neck beard writing back at you, some of most horrible cruel shit will come to the surface. Not only that but they would have the last laugh, so to speak. The whole thing is just a really bad idea. I get that it started out as a joke, but some people seem to be seriously considering this as a valid addition here. They might want to reconsider.

Edited July 24, 2019 by Vassago

[Vassago]

Also consider this perspective. If you write positive, awesome reviews for one client but not for another who maybe just as decent as the one you reviewed, there’s a good chance he’ll harbor resentment and never call you again. So at that point you are losing business even though you’ve done something good for someone.

Edited July 24, 2019 by Vassago
Fucking auto correct

[Vassago]

On 7/23/2019 at 4:45 PM, Vassago said:

 

At 7:20 (30 minutes prior to appointment time), 

 

Sorry that was 40 minutes prior not 30 minutes. I missed the window to correct it with an edit.

[gr8owl]

I thought the original topic was a way to flag no show/cancellation issues only, which I think is reasonable with right guidelines including both ladies and guys.  Then it turned into a full review of guys by providers - which in my opinion is a horrible idea for many reasons.

[Vassago]

35 minutes ago, gr8owl said:

I thought the original topic was a way to flag no show/cancellation issues only, which I think is reasonable with right guidelines including both ladies and guys.  Then it turned into a full review of guys by providers - which in my opinion is a horrible idea for many reasons.

Yeah. I admittedly took the bait. I think the best way I’ve seen with flagging repetitive cancellations is through an Alerts thread. I’m not sure how else it could be done if you can’t review what would be a No Show in my personal opinion but not technically a No Show according to the guidelines.