Posted May 12, 2019 In the not too distant past in a land not too far away, I'd taken a lady to a gala where they had a pet monkey. You could put this abominatio- I mean monkey, on your arm and have a picture taken. This one was called Pinky, for reasons that will be made clear in the coming verbiage. So anytime Pinky sat on the arm of a woman he liked, he'd do his best to battle the lesser virtues of his anatomy. All the ladies chuckled with blushed cheeks, and the gents made clever japes. Of course I was convinced through the better duties of my proper cause to please m'lady with a picture taken with this ... monkey. Now mind you, I have a deep fascination with a certain skin cream made for ladies. The smell is natural, subdued but intoxicating. I wear this skin cream from time to time, because I just- I just love the way it smells. So my time comes and Pinky gets put on my forearm. Let me not deliberate on the humiliation that soon followed. Believe me when I tell you, the blushes turned from pink to rouge and the japes malformed from good common English sense to gargoyle like gurgles. That fucking Vandini skin cream! I hate monkeys. FuriousWeasel I blame your avatar for this reminiscence ... 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 12, 2019 So how many people are taking a good close look at my avatar now? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2019 Glad I could make a few of you folks laugh, even if at my own expense. Do go enjoy yourselves now in any of your adventures. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2019 On 5/12/2019 at 1:54 PM, Vassago said: In the not too distant past in a land not too far away, I'd taken a lady to a gala where they had a pet monkey. You could put this abominatio- I mean monkey, on your arm and have a picture taken. This one was called Pinky, for reasons that will be made clear in the coming verbiage. So anytime Pinky sat on the arm of a woman he liked, he'd do his best to battle the lesser virtues of his anatomy. All the ladies chuckled with blushed cheeks, and the gents made clever japes. Of course I was convinced through the better duties of my proper cause to please m'lady with a picture taken with this ... monkey. Now mind you, I have a deep fascination with a certain skin cream made for ladies. The smell is natural, subdued but intoxicating. I wear this skin cream from time to time, because I just- I just love the way it smells. So my time comes and Pinky gets put on my forearm. Let me not deliberate on the humiliation that soon followed. Believe me when I tell you, the blushes turned from pink to rouge and the japes malformed from good common English sense to gargoyle like gurgles. That fucking Vandini skin cream! I hate monkeys. FuriousWeasel I blame your avatar for this reminiscence ... Now see!! This is what happens when we legalize "MUSHROOMS". 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2019 On 5/12/2019 at 1:54 PM, Vassago said: I hate monkeys. FuriousWeasel I blame your avatar for this reminiscence ... When my dad was in WWII, stationed in India, they lived in an airbase deep in the jungle. My dad won a Marmoset monkey in a poker game, a bit bigger than Pinky, but not much. It would ride on dad's shoulder, but every time dad did something he did not like, or didn't do something the monkey wanted, it would bite dad's ear. One time it bit his ear quite hard and deep, and it hurt so much my dad just took him off the shoulder and gently tossed him into the jungle, shouting "good riddance." There was a monkey shriek and an unidentified growling, and no more sound. Dad said he felt bad for about the better part of a quart of whiskey - he was 19. Monkeys! One of them stole my camera right out of my hotel room in Mexico! Little bastard just opened the door, walked in, rummaged around and took the only valuable in sight. Mean - yes. Stupid - no. You got off easily with a forearm hump. Thanks for triggering this memory of dad's war stories. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2019 3 minutes ago, BadBoy said: When my dad was in WWII, stationed in India, they lived in an airbase deep in the jungle. My dad won a Marmoset monkey in a poker game, a bit bigger than Pinky, but not much. It would ride on dad's shoulder, but every time dad did something he did not like, or didn't do something the monkey wanted, it would bite dad's ear. One time it bit his ear quite hard and deep, and it hurt so much my dad just took him off the shoulder and gently tossed him into the jungle, shouting "good riddance." There was a monkey shriek and an unidentified growling, and no more sound. Dad said he felt bad for about the better part of a quart of whiskey - he was 19. Monkeys! One of them stole my camera right out of my hotel room in Mexico! Little bastard just opened the door, walked in, rummaged around and took the only valuable in sight. Mean - yes. Stupid - no. You got off easily with a forearm hump. Thanks for triggering this memory of dad's war stories. No. Thank you, sir. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 14, 2019 4 hours ago, BadBoy said: Said the bamboo!😂😂 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
