Bit Banger

Reference aging

28 posts in this topic

Starting a new thread based on remarks by Audrey in the P411 thread:

If you haven't booked with me in 15 months, but have used me for references, why would you "see me soon"? hmmmmm, not sure how to handle this. Maybe this should be a new thread. Am I being an asshole in questioning this?”

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No, you are NOT being an asshole.  Helping friends (M&F) be safe is one thing, but you’re also watching income go to a competitor.

When providing such a reference, be sure to mention that it’s been ?? months since you’ve seen him.  After 2 years, you might suggest to him that he should use newer references.

Of course a sister could reach out to you based on an older P411 Okay.

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I agree. I personally have no references and don't allow any followers on TOB. My Okay's on P411 are aging especially as more Ladies retire. 2017 was my last Okay. I simply don't ask for them anymore, I do suppose I should but I'm extremely choosy who I see, and simply don't have a problem...yet. I will keep my P411 account current tho. I also haven't reviewed anyone since 2017, simply don't care for the review format anymore, suppose I should at some time do that as well. Actually I'm not even sure if there is a review protocol, but reviews anymore put me to sleep, do not invite interest. With the influx of sooooo many Gents and Ladies I do understand the need, guess at some point I need to conform. Damn Red-Neck ol Hippie Coloradoan is all I am. I do Vote tho. 

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 Audry is right. Once they have a reference, that is all she will hear from them. That is why the ok system on P411 works so good. Basically a yes or no.  There is no gray area. If a girl sees the ok, she can PM the girl who gave the ok to ask a question. Everytime I try to set up a appointment, I have to drag out all the references numbers, emails  or sites. It is a hassle. Each board needs something like that. I think it would make things easier on both the guys and gals. The guys would no longer need to ask a girl anymore.  Either that or maybe a point system. The girls trade points for reference checks. Those that don't share will have to pay. While those who do, just trade points back and forth. 

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I have a rule that after one year, i no longer vouch for you on private reference requests. 

 

My reason for that is simple, people change and if it's been over a year, how am i supposed to vouch with certainty that you are safe? It's my reputation on the line with other women. I also only accept references within a certain timeframe from gentlemen for the same reason.

 

I have found this is fairly common, at least in salt lake city. My p411 okays stay on profiles, as do my okays on board sites, but i won't vouch privately if over a year

 

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References (and OKays) do have a certain shelf life. I can't say what it is because you could have a old reference or OKay and still be seeing the lady or gent.

Things change, people change and the references are no longer an indication of a current match. I have deleted references and OKays and a couple of TOB references have been pulled by the ladies. Just my 2 cents worth.

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1 hour ago, Annekeslc said:

I have a rule that after one year, i no longer vouch for you on private reference requests. 

My reason for that is simple, people change and if it's been over a year, how am i supposed to vouch with certainty that you are safe? 

This seems, to me, to be reasonable, and not too cautious. Good policy! :)

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2 hours ago, Annekeslc said:

I have a rule that after one year, i no longer vouch for you on private reference requests. 

 

My reason for that is simple, people change and if it's been over a year, how am i supposed to vouch with certainty that you are safe? It's my reputation on the line with other women. I also only accept references within a certain timeframe from gentlemen for the same reason.

 

I have found this is fairly common, at least in salt lake city. My p411 okays stay on profiles, as do my okays on board sites, but i won't vouch privately if over a year

 

I'll be honest, I've never understood this thinking (and yes, I know I'm on the outside of of the norm with this.)

When guy's change, they change on a dime, and out of nowhere. As I've said before, that can happen a day after you've seen them, a week, a month, 3mos, 6mos, 9mos etc. So how can we ever vouch with certainly that the guy is safe? All we really can say with certainty is how he treated us during our session.

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26 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

 All we really can say with certainty is how he treated us during our session.

Honestly, that is all I thought a reference was.  Were we kind, clean and not LE. At the very least you see us for a 1/2 hour to hour in most cases. Unless you are some kind of clairvoyant, that is all you know about us. The real jerks are the ones you can't forget. Those are why you girls ask for references. 

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Never understood the concept of "references".

When I go buy a milk shake from McDonald's, do I need to show them a reference from Burger King?;)

I started banging hookers roughly in 1984, stopped seeing commercial girls in 2007. After that I used Craigslist's Casual Encounter annd Escort section, now I got various ads running on the CL "modeling" section.

 I've never been asked for or have provided a "reference". Must be some newfangled thingie.:lol:

Edited by 2Big
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Well best to just communicate and see how your able to interact.

Get a feel of what the other person is looking for.

Like it has been said before jerks usually have a reputation. 

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On 4/22/2019 at 7:44 PM, Hunter VanDyke said:

I'll be honest, I've never understood this thinking (and yes, I know I'm on the outside of of the norm with this.)

When guy's change, they change on a dime, and out of nowhere. As I've said before, that can happen a day after you've seen them, a week, a month, 3mos, 6mos, 9mos etc. So how can we ever vouch with certainly that the guy is safe? All we really can say with certainty is how he treated us during our session.

The last sentence of Hunter’s response SPEAKS VOLUMES! The positive memories created during a session are lasting memories for the guy that saw the girl. I would bet the same for the provider.

Why would that fun time have a expiration date?

Trying to improve ones credibility by joining a verification service is what we need more of, so it can be shared with others. Everyone is safer.

I do not understand why a provider may say they were being “used” to provide a reference. The only thing to think back on is what actually happened between the two parties involved.

Hence the lasting memory part kicks in.

Thanks for listening.

 

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This is a perfect example of age discrimination and should be rooted out immediately!

We are all aging: I am, you are, and our references (going both ways) are aging at exactly the same rate.  No one should discriminate on the basis of aging!  Why should some young whippersnapper reference carry more weight than an older and wiser reference?  It is just plain discrimination!

Unite!  Senior power!  Old references, come together to protect your rights.

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5 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

This is a perfect example of age discrimination and should be rooted out immediately!

We are all aging: I am, you are, and our references (going both ways) are aging at exactly the same rate.  No one should discriminate on the basis of aging!  Why should some young whippersnapper reference carry more weight than an older and wiser reference?  It is just plain discrimination!

Unite!  Senior power!  Old references, come together to protect your rights.

Lmao. Oh shush. You've slept with at least 50% of the providers. You have references coming out of your ears. 😂

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10 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Lmao. Oh shush. You've slept with at least 50% of the providers. You have references coming out of your ears. 😂

Hunter, you know this isn't true.  I never sleep with a provider, don't even close my eyes.

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13 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

Hunter, you know this isn't true.  I never sleep with a provider, don't even close my eyes.

Don't close them at all?? Thats creepy 😳

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Here here BB, I am with you and I never sleep with providers either. 

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1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Don't close them at all?? Thats creepy 😳

Why would you say that?

MkxZt8a.jpg?1

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3 hours ago, BadBoy said:

Why would you say that?

MkxZt8a.jpg?1

Now how in earth did you find a picture with your likeness mixed with Anthony Hopkins with no teeth. It's uncanny. 😂😂😂

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On 4/22/2019 at 8:26 PM, 2Big said:

Never understood the concept of "references".

When I go buy a milk shake from McDonald's, do I need to show them a reference from Burger King?;)

I started banging hookers roughly in 1984, stopped seeing commercial girls in 2007. After that I used Craigslist's Casual Encounter annd Escort section, now I got various ads running on the CL "modeling" section.

 I've never been asked for or have provided a "reference". Must be some newfangled thingie.:lol:

10,000 men are now looking on CL "modeling" section!   :cool:

Wondering, are you doing some modeling on the side? Wearing something suggestive? Or "dad" pants? LOL!

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On 4/22/2019 at 7:44 PM, Hunter VanDyke said:

I'll be honest, I've never understood this thinking (and yes, I know I'm on the outside of of the norm with this.)

When guy's change, they change on a dime, and out of nowhere. As I've said before, that can happen a day after you've seen them, a week, a month, 3mos, 6mos, 9mos etc. So how can we ever vouch with certainly that the guy is safe? All we really can say with certainty is how he treated us during our session.

This is generally true. I have to say though that the only clients that have ripped me off/stolen services are ones that had been regulars. :-( Sometimes people do flip out and end up a bit crazy after they get comfortable. For the most part a good guy stays a good guy. 

 

 

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56 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said:

This is generally true. I have to say though that the only clients that have ripped me off/stolen services are ones that had been regulars. :-( Sometimes people do flip out and end up a bit crazy after they get comfortable. For the most part a good guy stays a good guy. 

 

 

I'm so sorry Audrey. Any guy who fucks you of all people over is a real piece of crap. Just saying.

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14 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

I'm so sorry Audrey. Any guy who fucks you of all people over is a real piece of crap. Just saying.

Please don't use that word it has too many definitions!

 

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15 minutes ago, pointymoustache said:

Please don't use that word it has too many definitions!

 

Okay Pointy, I'll try not to use that word ever again...just for you.  😁

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17 hours ago, Audrey Astor said:

This is generally true. I have to say though that the only clients that have ripped me off/stolen services are ones that had been regulars. :-( Sometimes people do flip out and end up a bit crazy after they get comfortable. For the most part a good guy stays a good guy. 

 

 

Audrey, You got me so sad! I had a few situations too. However, your note here makes me very upset. I am so sorry my dear friend! XO 

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I recently had a refrence request on here that said he has seen me before but I had no knowledge of him. Has anyone else ran into this problem? I denied him of course.

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On 4/22/2019 at 7:44 PM, Hunter VanDyke said:

When guy's change, they change on a dime, and out of nowhere.

I think what you are referring to is a condition of the male ego, which in America today is indefatigably repressed and then dismissed. Much like the truth, the male ego always bubbles up to the surface eventually. It might seem unexpected, but nothing could be more predictable or inevitable.

To your point though, I agree on the fruitlessness of putting some kind of expiration date on a person’s personality unless they’ve done something specifically to indicate otherwise. 

There just can’t be THAT many people out there all of a sudden turning into psychopaths.

 

Edited by Vassago
Fucking spelling
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26 minutes ago, Vassago said:

I think what you are referring to is a condition of the male ego, which in America today is indefatigably repressed and then dismissed. Much like the truth, the male ego always bubbles up to the surface eventually. It might seem unexpected, but nothing could be more predictable or inevitable.

To your point though, I agree on the fruitlessness of putting some kind of expiration date on a person’s personality unless they’ve done something specifically to indicate otherwise. 

There just can’t be THAT many people out there all of a sudden turning into psychopaths.

 

I don't know. We all have egos. Men and women. Repressed and unleashed. My experience is most guys and ladies can keep their egos in check. We all can push some boundaries, but most of us know how to self regulate and adjust.  There are clients I would not see again, but I would still give a reference for.  It takes something truly whacky, and fucked up for me to deny a reference,  Thats just me though. Every lady is different.  I can honestly say I've only come across one client who was a true psycho. A couple more that left an impression on me that I wouldn't risk another lady seeing based on my reference, So yes, there aren't many. It's uncommon in my experience, but most guys don't play that shit with me anymore. I won't tolerate it. 

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5 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

I don't know. We all have egos. Men and women. Repressed and unleashed. My experience is most guys and ladies can keep their egos in check. We all can push some boundaries, but most of us know how to self regulate and adjust.  There are clients I would not see again, but I would still give a reference for.  It takes something truly whacky, and fucked up for me to deny a reference,  Thats just me though. Every lady is different.  I can honestly say I've only come across one client who was a true psycho. A couple more that left an impression on me that I wouldn't risk another lady seeing based on my reference, So yes, there aren't many. It's uncommon in my experience, but most guys don't play that shit with me anymore. I won't tolerate it. 

 Hunter, I agree totally with you! To continue to allow someone to run you over is emotional/mental/physical abuse! Not enough money in the world for that sort of behavior. 

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