Calik8

For the ladies!! How do you not loose your temper...

47 posts in this topic

I know this has been talked about 100+ times so please forgive me.

I have had a lot of rude, uneducated men reaching out to me this morning. I really do try to be nice and help the uneducated ones and ignore the rude ones. today it seems I just about to loose my temper at all of them. 

So my question is how do you go about not loosing your temper while scheduling appointments? 

What helps you calm yourself?

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1 hour ago, mountainrider33 said:

Sorry, I was not going to say anything after the first and still good on the second time but the third just burst the threshold.  

*lose and losing

Goode grief. 🙄

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Whilst stepping on my last nerve,

did you have too wear spike heals?  [sic]

🤪😜🤪

Edited by Bit Banger
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I changed my number, and stopped posting it. After, dealing with all the assholes messing with me, I found myself being an asshole to the next nice guy that called or texted. My blood pressure would go through the roof all the time. It wasn't worth it for me. As far as calming down after loosing my temper, I try to reach out to my family...that always grounds me, or I reach out to one of my friends who has a great sense of humor to make me laugh, or going for a walk helps me too. Big hugs beautiful. 

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2 hours ago, Calik8 said:

I have had a lot of  men reaching out to me this morning

Fixed it for ya.;)

Edited by 2Big
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If they're on my last nerve, we are not going to have a good time when meeting. I simply say, "I'm sorry, but we are not a good match. Best wishes. " If they persist or a TW continues to contact, I block. And, I don't take this crap personal. Just block, and go about your day. 

There are truly too many nice, fun guys in this to tolerate nonsense. One of the nice one's will call soon. 

I think our marketing plays a huge role in the kind of folks that contact you. Review your marketing to make sure you are attracting the type of client that you like. If the fuckery persists, you can always unpublish your number as @Hunter VanDyke suggested. And lastly lean on your piers who understand this stuff, and take a time out for you. A walk around the park or sitting in the sun with a beer can do wonders for our attitudes. 

xoxo

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34 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said:

If they're on my last nerve, we are not going to have a good time when meeting. I simply say, "I'm sorry, but we are not a good match. Best wishes. " If they persist or a TW continues to contact, I block. And, I don't take this crap personal. Just block, and go about your day. 

There are truly too many nice, fun guys in this to tolerate nonsense. One of the nice one's will call soon. 

I think our marketing plays a huge role in the kind of folks that contact you. Review your marketing to make sure you are attracting the type of client that you like. If the fuckery persists, you can always unpublish your number as @Hunter VanDyke suggested. And lastly lean on your piers who understand this stuff, and take a time out for you. A walk around the park or sitting in the sun with a beer can do wonders for our attitudes. 

xoxo

Thank you and I know you and @Hunter VanDyke

mate right just this morning was full of fuckery 

but I waited it out and got a good call that I’m excited for!!

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2 hours ago, Calik8 said:

Thank you and I know you and @Hunter VanDyke

mate right just this morning was full of fuckery 

but I waited it out and got a good call that I’m excited for!!

Yay! I'm glad your day improved! 

I have a small business as a tradesman, and, unfortunately, many people are rude, and fail to read ads, and websites, whether you are an escort, or a plumber. Probably, much worse for you, though!

Luckily, the good clients save the day! :D

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5 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Goode grief. 🙄

That's my line.:lol:

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44 minutes ago, pfunk said:

Yay! I'm glad your day improved! 

I have a small business as a tradesman, and, unfortunately, many people are rude, and fail to read ads, and websites, whether you are an escort, or a plumber. Probably, much worse for you, though!

Luckily, the good clients save the day! :D

Agreed 😊😊

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To all the ladies here, I am sorry that you are subjected to the fuckery that is prevalent in this hobby.

Some people just don’t respect you. They look at you as a piece of meat that doesn’t deserve respect because of the work you do. They are wrong.

The best thing you can is ignore them, hang up on them and block them if they persist.

And think of what brings you to your happy place.

I know thats easier said than done, but give it a try.

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If they call and you can't get it through their thick skulls on what is proper, hang up. Block their number. If they are that way on the phone, just imagine what they would be like in person. This will convince you that you did the right thing. Then take a few breaths. There will be a respectful caller ringing you up. Just like a contractor, you don't have to bid on every project. 

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The horror! Johns contacting hookers! What is this world coming to?

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This is a customer service industry and just like any other CS industry there will ALWAYS be issues to some degree.  You will have idiot or inexperienced hobbyists and you will have unorganized and aloof providers.  It's all part of the game and you just have to decide how much of it you're willing to put up with to participate.

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I'm with Audrey, if a client is rude, I do not continue the conversation, I just block them and most importantly I try not to take it personal. If I do then it ends up affecting how I treat other clients which isn't good. Journaling and meditating help me keep my thoughts in order!

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2 hours ago, Crystyna said:

if a client is rude, I do not continue the conversation, I just block them

If a regular business were to do that, they'd be out of business in a week. 

But, I guess, you girls are running a "bidness" not a business.;)

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1 minute ago, 2Big said:

If a regular business were to do that, they'd be out of business in a week. 

But, I guess, you girls are running a "bidness" not a business.;)

Actually, no.  Rude customers develop a reputation w/in a trade.  Businesses who treat their suppliers poorly tend to find lean supply lines.    Folks stop bidding on their RFQs or they find a “hassle” surcharge built into the quotes they receive.  You ever wonder why a $5 hammer costs the government $500?

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33 minutes ago, 2Big said:

If a regular business were to do that, they'd be out of business in a week. 

But, I guess, you girls are running a "bidness" not a business.;)

Actually, all businesses reserve the right to refuse service to anyone they choose to.

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25 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

Actually, no.  Rude customers develop a reputation w/in a trade.  Businesses who treat their suppliers poorly tend to find lean supply lines.    Folks stop bidding on their RFQs or they find a “hassle” surcharge built into the quotes they receive.  You ever wonder why a $5 hammer costs the government $500?

Yes exactly, we ladies share information with one another so we can avoid rude and disrespectful clients. If a client is rude and disrespectful to a provider he may find it very hard to find anyone who is willing to see him due to his rude behavior with others. Same goes for clients who are no call no shows or always canceling last minute. 

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32 minutes ago, petey-9950 said:

But wasn’t that a toilet seat ?

That too

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2 hours ago, 2Big said:

If a regular business were to do that, they'd be out of business in a week. 

But, I guess, you girls are running a "bidness" not a business.;)

It hasn't happened often, but I have fired a number of clients over the years. Those who are abusive toward employees, or for whom the cost of doing business provides an unacceptable ROI have been politely asked to elsewhere.  In this busines/hobby, add in the safety and LE risks and I can see why providers are quick to turn away sketchy potential customers. 

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2 hours ago, goodguy69 said:

Actually, all businesses reserve the right to refuse service to anyone they choose to.

Not at all true.  Indeed, it is against the law to post a sign to that effect.  It is also against the law to discriminate on any prohibited bases. Good thing too, otherwise we would still have segregated lunch counters and gays would have to live in the closet.

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We can agree to disagree.

I Agree it is illegal to refuse service on a discrimatory basis, however you can refuse to allow certain things into your business that are not descriminatory, and it is not based on age, race, religion, etc.

My comment had nothing to do with descrimination or segregation, and I dont believe this thread did either.

The way it appears to me a private contractor which is what we are talking about. Can chose to work or not work, help or not help whomever they choose. Just because someone wants something done and you are in that line of work and they call you to do it, does not mean you have too. It is the  choice of the business owner/contractor to determine if they want to enter into an agreement with said customer.

Just my 2 cents

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15 minutes ago, goodguy69 said:

We can agree to disagree.

I Agree it is illegal to refuse service on a discrimatory basis, however you can refuse to allow certain things into your business that are not descriminatory, and it is not based on age, race, religion, etc.

My comment had nothing to do with descrimination or segregation, and I dont believe this thread did either.

The way it appears to me a private contractor which is what we are talking about. Can chose to work or not work, help or not help whomever they choose. Just because someone wants something done and you are in that line of work and they call you to do it, does not mean you have too. It is the  choice of the business owner/contractor to determine if they want to enter into an agreement with said customer.

Just my 2 cents

Yep, totally agree, thx GG69

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1 hour ago, BadBoy said:

Not at all true.  Indeed, it is against the law to post a sign to that effect.  It is also against the law to discriminate on any prohibited bases. Good thing too, otherwise we would still have segregated lunch counters and gays would have to live in the closet.

You are conflating discrimination based on race, gender, religion, etc. and discrimination based on being an asshole.

It's perfectly legal to refuse to serve an asshole. I do it frequently! ;)

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Hopefully you do it like all the rest of us struggling to peacefully and productively inhabit a planet crowded with with a gazillion others: 1) take a deep breath,  2) don't personalize, 3) remind myself I'm wherever I am by choice, 4) I'm free to go do something else ( where likely unicorns rainbows and eternally graceful people roam) anytime I want.  

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When I have to put up with someone's fuckery (I likes that word), I tune into a christian music station.  Not religious but the music is soothing and calming.

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