Posted April 16, 2019 OK gents and ladies..... I think my heart skiped a beat. Now before we get started.... this thread is a humorous one supposed to bring about some laughs, some smiles. it is not for soap box warriors, not for people to say what's right or wrong, what you should shouldn't be doing, not about tragedy or heartbreak or sadness, it's lighthearted and for good time. If your 1st impression is one of the above, think otherwise please move on, but if you can have some fun and share some stories then please participate, thank you for your understanding. So... I went on a date With a nice lady. After a nice greeting I removed my clothing as typical and placed them on chair which unbeknownst to me next was next to a candle. Well after we spent some fun time together I showered and got dressed and went on my way. In the car I started to notice a smell, but I couldn't quite place it, I couldn't tell if it was my hair or body from the shower or my clothes. I drove home with the windows down in hopes of filtering the smell away. I got home, undressed and smelled my clothes, yep that was the culprit. I finally realized my clothes were sitting next to a scented candle. I was like oh well, it isn't too bad and I threw my clothes into the hamper. A week later my wife is doing the laundry and comes upstairs and says why do your clothes stink? I was like, what do you mean, she said they smelled like Christmas, I said you're crazy, she said go smell them...i did and yep Christmas, cinnamon to be exact.... Well after a few minutes it clicked, I had set my clothes next to a scented candle. Oops. I was able to explain it away but yikes my heart skipped a beat. Even today, she had may car and said it smelled like cinnamon. The gift that keeps on giving, like glitter. She has a very sensitive nose, for cinnamon specifically and doesn't like it. So there it is my heart beat skipping momment. So what fun, amusing stories do you have? Almost caught by an SO, family, friends, hotel staff....got away but had a startle? Ready, set, go..... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 I caught my bathroom on fire once. Lol. No more candles in the bathroom, no sir! I went and bought fake candles the very next day. After we got the fire put out we stood there in shock, then he looked at me and said " I don't know if I told you this, but I'm an ex firefighter." 😂 True story 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 16 minutes ago, K2dnvrfun said: OK gents and ladies..... I think my heart skiped a beat. Now before we get started.... this thread is a humorous one supposed to bring about some laughs, some smiles. it is not for soap box warriors, not for people to say what's right or wrong, what you should shouldn't be doing, not about tragedy or heartbreak or sadness, it's lighthearted and for good time. If your 1st impression is one of the above, think otherwise please move on, but if you can have some fun and share some stories then please participate, thank you for your understanding. So... I went on a date With a nice lady. After a nice greeting I removed my clothing as typical and placed them on chair which unbeknownst to me next was next to a candle. Well after we spent some fun time together I showered and got dressed and went on my way. In the car I started to notice a smell, but I couldn't quite place it, I couldn't tell if it was my hair or body from the shower or my clothes. I drove home with the windows down in hopes of filtering the smell away. I got home, undressed and smelled my clothes, yep that was the culprit. I finally realized my clothes were sitting next to a scented candle. I was like oh well, it isn't too bad and I threw my clothes into the hamper. A week later my wife is doing the laundry and comes upstairs and says why do your clothes stink? I was like, what do you mean, she said they smelled like Christmas, I said you're crazy, she said go smell them...i did and yep Christmas, cinnamon to be exact.... Well after a few minutes it clicked, I had set my clothes next to a scented candle. Oops. I was able to explain it away but yikes my heart skipped a beat. Even today, she had may car and said it smelled like cinnamon. The gift that keeps on giving, like glitter. She has a very sensitive nose, for cinnamon specifically and doesn't like it. So there it is my heart beat skipping momment. So what fun, amusing stories do you have? Almost caught by an SO, family, friends, hotel staff....got away but had a startle? Ready, set, go..... Do tell us about that date. I’m in the bath and need a sexy and steamy story. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 3 minutes ago, Laci French said: Do tell us about that date. I’m in the bath and need a sexy and steamy story. I'll keep the steamy bits to myself, don't want to fog up the forum. Maybe one day over coffee. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 I had an outcall to my place years ago and the escort hid the condom wrapper under the alarm clock unbeknownst to me. My so got home a few days later and found it. My story was my youngest son came home and used our bed to bust a nut on. True story 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 Well, there was this time I was on an outcall in the mountains. We were heading down a semi-dark hallway that I of course had never been down before. There was a step down before the Master Bedroom, and I was walking looking straight ahead. I fell my stuff flew everywhere including my giant cup of ice water. I was so embarrassed. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 I was getting ready to turn in one night and had my phone on a shelf in the hallway while I brushed my teeth. I get this text from a lady I had in my contact list as S for some unknown reason: “ I can see you tomorrow, babe.” Next I hear this question: WHO IS S???” Then I get all these questions about what does S stand for... I ended up telling her the truth... we’re not together anymore... we weren’t together for awhile before that so.... who gives a S..... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 1 hour ago, K2dnvrfun said: I'll keep the steamy bits to myself, don't want to fog up the forum. Maybe one day over coffee. Mmmm...bring Starbucks in the morning 😊 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 2 hours ago, Audrey Astor said: Well, there was this time I was on an outcall in the mountains. We were heading down a semi-dark hallway that I of course had never been down before. There was a step down before the Master Bedroom, and I was walking looking straight ahead. I fell my stuff flew everywhere including my giant cup of ice water. I was so embarrassed. That sounds like me Audrey! 😘 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 My incall bed got moved a few inches, I did not know the slates had been misplaced An amazing GENT and I were on that side of the bed as it collapsed. He went first with me landing on top of him. He was the sweetest; he fixed all the slates that had to be put back into slate holders... It was like a slow motion cartoon. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 2 hours ago, Raine-7379 said: My incall bed got moved a few inches, I did not know the slates had been misplaced An amazing GENT and I were on that side of the bed as it collapsed. He went first with me landing on top of him. He was the sweetest; he fixed all the slates that had to be put back into slate holders... It was like a slow motion cartoon. Was his name Walter White ? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 9 hours ago, Laci French said: Mmmm...bring Starbucks in the morning 😊 Donuts with that? 😁 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 12 hours ago, Laci French said: Mmmm...bring Starbucks in the morning 😊 Laci French, Starbucks and watching Ms. Yote....perfect way to start the day 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 8 hours ago, Kaduk said: Was his name Walter White ? I was lucky it did not break, just collapsed on us. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 4 hours ago, K2dnvrfun said: Donuts with that? 😁 How about some Flapjacks? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 15 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: I caught my bathroom on fire once. Lol. No more candles in the bathroom, no sir! I went and bought fake candles the very next day. After we got the fire put out we stood there in shock, then he looked at me and said " I don't know if I told you this, but I'm an ex firefighter." 😂 True story Wow... hopefully the damage wasn’t too bad... reminds me of when I started a fire in the paint booth... had a gallon can of acetone and lighting little circles on fire and let them burn out... I tried one and the whole can tipped over and lit up... my coworker was a volunteer firefighter and put it out... he got some of it out with my paint suit and threw the shriveled up suit at me and said... “now try to put that on, fucker!!!” I’m real lucky I didn’t get fired for that one... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 45 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said: 46 minutes ago, Audrey Astor said: How about some Flapjacks? How about we make our own flapjacks? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) It’s happened to me twice. 1st time was in a low-grade hotel. I was still literally a newbie and big time nervous of that part of town, room was right across from a Village Inn Pancake House with big ass windows that everyone could see me, 11:00am appt, got the text to come up to room#. Being 1sttime there I thought had to go through the lobby…NO, steps right out of the room directly across from the VI windows, man am I stoopid. Laying talkin with my hostess and BOOM BOOM BOOM on the door, she just HOLLARS “NO THANK YOU!”, housekeeping, fuck I thought LE for sure. 2nd time, appt set for 11:00am again different lady, and my 2nd time seeing her. Same chain, much better part of town, and definitely wayyy cleaner. She calls me up and says stop and grab a bottle of vino. I knew just the bottle as it’s one I gift a lot of people, in the Hobby or RW. I ask you got glasses, nope, opener, nope, plastic cups on the sink, yup. Get there open the wine and we have a habit of talking sometimes for hours before we get started, did that. She’s now hungry and I say order Chinese it’s on me. While another hour goes by and still no food, so calls Chinese food place and says dudes. Knock comes at the door, she jumps up and screams ” FUCK IT’S the COPS!”, dude was crackin the fuck up when I opened the door, tip was more than the tab on that one lol, we trashed that bedspread with Chinese food, it was good tho. I’ve never had an unpleasant experience in a hotel, but the 1stone is why I no longer do hotels, unless I rent the room. Edited April 16, 2019 by fishndude57 Font sz 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 20 minutes ago, fishndude57 said: It’s happened to me twice. 1st time was in a low-grade hotel. I was still literally a newbie and big time nervous of that part of town, room was right across from a Village Inn Pancake House with big ass windows that everyone could see me, 11:00am appt, got the text to come up to room#. Being 1sttime there I thought had to go through the lobby…NO, steps right out of the room directly across from the VI windows, man am I stoopid. Laying talkin with my hostess and BOOM BOOM BOOM on the door, she just HOLLARS “NO THANK YOU!”, housekeeping, fuck I thought LE for sure. 2nd time, appt set for 11:00am again different lady, and my 2nd time seeing her. Same chain, much better part of town, and definitely wayyy cleaner. She calls me up and says stop and grab a bottle of vino. I knew just the bottle as it’s one I gift a lot of people, in the Hobby or RW. I ask you got glasses, nope, opener, nope, plastic cups on the sink, yup. Get there open the wine and we have a habit of talking sometimes for hours before we get started, did that. She’s now hungry and I say order Chinese it’s on me. While another hour goes by and still no food, so calls Chinese food place and says dudes. Knock comes at the door, she jumps up and screams ” FUCK IT’S the COPS!”, dude was crackin the fuck up when I opened the door, tip was more than the tab on that one lol, we trashed that bedspread with Chinese food, it was good tho. I’ve never had an unpleasant experience in a hotel, but the 1stone is why I no longer do hotels, unless I rent the room. Did you get the full Chinese food treatment? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 9 minutes ago, Laci French said: Did you get the full Chinese food treatment? Nope, just sweet and sour chicken lol 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 16, 2019 Lol oh no @Audrey Astor 😅 hope you were alright! It happened to me once too & I personally thought it was hilarious & couldn’t stop laughing. It hurt though🍑🤷🏽♀️Except this time it was a very very waxy floor from cleaning skis or snowboards or something 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 So I am sitting in the hotel parking lot and she texts me "Room 502, come on up!" So I go up to the 5th floor, go down the hall to 502 and knock gently, no response. So I knock a bit louder (which I hate), still no response. I knock as loudly as I think prudent, still no answer. So I go down the hall into the stairwell where I have privacy and call her - letting her know that I was banging on the door with no response. She said that she heard nothing. I asked her to poke her head out of the room to check the number, and she got a bit salty, but finally did so, and came back with: "Oops, its Room 520." So I left the stairwell and walked down the hall and saw an older gal came down the hall towards me, who smiled, and I thought, "Shit, she looks nothing like her photos." But, she went right past me, stopped at 502 and went inside, and all I could think was that I was sure glad she wasn't in the room as I was banging on her door, she looked like the "call the manager" type. I gave her a nod, proceeded down the hall and met a very nice young lady in Room 520 - but my heart was pounding more than usual. Another time - a gal was staying at a really nice high-end business hotel near my office. She was on an upper floor, so I really needed to use the elevator, even though I much prefer stairs. I knew the place pretty well since I would often meet folks for lunches and conferences there, and really didn't want to run into anyone I knew, so I slipped in a side entrance, kept my face to the wall as I approached the elevators, and go on the first elevator going up. There were a bunch of folks getting on after me, so I turned around to face the back so they couldn't examine my face, and as the elevator went up, I realized I was looking face out, right out of the glass part of one of those glass elevators, staring right into the faces of all the folks gathered in the lobby for the free drinks at happy hour, who all appeared to be amusing themselves by watching the glass elevator, and its riders, go up and down. My heart dropped about 20 feet. No problemo, though, but another good adrenaline rush. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 I would have run out and bought a cinnamon candle that day! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 1 hour ago, BadBoy said: So I am sitting in the hotel parking lot and she texts me "Room 502, come on up!" So I go up to the 5th floor, go down the hall to 502 and knock gently, no response. So I knock a bit louder (which I hate), still no response. I knock as loudly as I think prudent, still no answer. So I go down the hall into the stairwell where I have privacy and call her - letting her know that I was banging on the door with no response. She said that she heard nothing. I asked her to poke her head out of the room to check the number, and she got a bit salty, but finally did so, and came back with: "Oops, its Room 520." So I left the stairwell and walked down the hall and saw an older gal came down the hall towards me, who smiled, and I thought, "Shit, she looks nothing like her photos." But, she went right past me, stopped at 502 and went inside, and all I could think was that I was sure glad she wasn't in the room as I was banging on her door, she looked like the "call the manager" type. I gave her a nod, proceeded down the hall and met a very nice young lady in Room 520 - but my heart was pounding more than usual. Another time - a gal was staying at a really nice high-end business hotel near my office. She was on an upper floor, so I really needed to use the elevator, even though I much prefer stairs. I knew the place pretty well since I would often meet folks for lunches and conferences there, and really didn't want to run into anyone I knew, so I slipped in a side entrance, kept my face to the wall as I approached the elevators, and go on the first elevator going up. There were a bunch of folks getting on after me, so I turned around to face the back so they couldn't examine my face, and as the elevator went up, I realized I was looking face out, right out of the glass part of one of those glass elevators, staring right into the faces of all the folks gathered in the lobby for the free drinks at happy hour, who all appeared to be amusing themselves by watching the glass elevator, and its riders, go up and down. My heart dropped about 20 feet. No problemo, though, but another good adrenaline rush. I've knocked on the wrong door a few times, one time even at the wrong hotel. Yikes 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 3 minutes ago, Bravo1 said: I would have run out and bought a cinnamon candle that day! I could have gotten a cinnamon pine tree deodorizer to hang on my rear view mirror. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 19 minutes ago, K2dnvrfun said: I could have gotten a cinnamon pine tree deodorizer to hang on my rear view mirror. Oh yeah, that's even better 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 Not sure if any others are in a similar place but this post made me realize something about my home life. I typically have meeting with providers earlier in the mornings because it coincides with me getting off work and going home. I have gone to appointments and then been driving home and I realize that I have a good amount of lotion or oil odor on me. I go home and since my wife is not the type to greet me at the door with a kiss and a hug, it is never an issue. Kind of a sad statement there but it's the truth. It's also what will keep me in the hobby for years to come. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 On 4/15/2019 at 8:20 PM, Hunter VanDyke said: I caught my bathroom on fire once. Lol. No more candles in the bathroom, no sir! I went and bought fake candles the very next day. After we got the fire put out we stood there in shock, then he looked at me and said " I don't know if I told you this, but I'm an ex firefighter." 😂 True story You might just need more roughage, or some Beano. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 44 minutes ago, boink36 said: You might just need more roughage, or some Beano. I can't with you tonight. 🤣🤣🤣 It was a wash cloth that fell in the candle! I have a witness! 😋 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted April 17, 2019 On 4/15/2019 at 8:53 PM, petey-9950 said: I had an outcall to my place years ago and the escort hid the condom wrapper under the alarm clock unbeknownst to me. My so got home a few days later and found it. My story was my youngest son came home and used our bed to bust a nut on. True story Priceless! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
