Posted March 17, 2019 I recently contacted a well-reviewed provider, and I haven't heard back from them. Let me break it down a bit. I shot her an email, and she responded back asking me what I was interested in exploring. I explained what I wanted and I haven't heard back. Now, being that we started chatting on Friday and it's a holiday weekend, I'm thinking that perhaps she got caught up on the St. Patricks Day holiday. However, I'm wondering if me explaining what I wanted is what caused her to stop speaking with me (then again, like I said it's possible that she got busy over the weekend and I'm waaaaaay over thinking. Yay anxiety). Anywho. This brings up my big question. I know some providers will cut off conversation if you start saying explicit things to them. I didn't say anything explicit in my email but I was specific (while still being respectful). If a provider asks what you would like to explore, and you break that down is it common for them to stop talking if they feel what you've said is too explicit? Or am I--like I said--over thinking it? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 You may have scared her off, or maybe not. Try following up tomorrow. Be sure she understands you will schedule an appt. and pay her, if she is willing to see you. Maybe suggest a day and time. If she still doesn't respond, drop it. Good luck! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 There is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. Go slow with the gals here............you will be rewarded! The only thing that matters is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Happy Trails! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 I have Cut guys off for being to explicit even after verification. I really do not like recieving explicit or "what I wanna do to you, when u get here" messages after we already planned on meeting. Its a good way to get the VOID when reaching out again. If you are looking for something outside the average Meeting and its not something she offers via reviews, she may be mulling it over. It is a Holiday weekend, She may be busy with Activities. I agree with the guys. Try tomorrow and see where it goes. If you hear nothing by Tuesday Morning with great reason to the delay, maybe try another choice. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 I'm much more cautious, but I suspect my closing rate is higher because of it. If, after one email, a young lady asked me what I was interested in exploring, my answer would always be, "I'd like to explore an hour of your time and companionship," and suggest a date and time, and wait for a response as to further screening, alternate times, etc. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "the less you talk about blowjobs, the more of them you get." I don't think any of these gals want to get into specifics beyond maybe GFE? FBSM? before they meet, much less screen you. YMMV 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 40 minutes ago, mountainrider33 said: Maybe after she read your email she was like, Exactly! Ladies are not into the chit chat about what I like bullshit. Every encounter is different. A guy that wants to play out a imaginary session beforehand is a timewaster. We are companions that charge for our time. Let's get to the point of meeting and no talking beforehand. You can talk all you want to me behind closed doors. We can play all you want behind the same closed door. Search out your likes by reading profiles and reviews. If your interest is not coming up in you search then book a open minded lady and talk about your likes when you arrive. Time is money in this industry. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 18, 2019 I’m going to take a different approach and cut the guy some slack, and take him at his word being she asked “what would you like to explore?” Without the correspondence that’s all I can do. With that said, if that’s what she said, then that’s just shit communication coming from her. “How long were you thinking?” “What package were you looking at on my site?” “In call or outcall and how long?” A number of very direct ways to get a simple answer out of him. “What would you like to explore?” leaves it open for all sorts of errors to occur. And the funny thing about it is I don’t know why everyone likes to pretend all ladies keep it PG in their responses. Even those coveted “well reviewed and respected” ladies operate on their own terms and I sure as shit have been asked point blank what services I’m looking for or given a list of services without provocation. There is so much coded language here that sometimes a very direct question is best and go from there. OP give it a day and if you decide to follow up simply insert “(insert formalities and whatever else you’d like to start with) I’m sorry if I freaked you out with my response. I was maybe confused by your question. I’d still like to meet up on (date and time <- this shows you’re serious about a date) if that works for you.” Or keep it the fuck moving and on to the next one. Sometimes you just FUBAR a date right out the gate and there’s no recovery. That’s just the way it goes. And thankfully there’s literally an entire site of possibilities for you. And if this site doesn’t work I can give you 5 more that cover this area plus. The internet is vast and deep. Explore that bitch. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 18, 2019 (edited) I guess she wasn't feeling you, and moved on. It happens. The more info we have, the better decisions we can make to see if we're a good fit for each other or not. I probably would have let you know we're not a good fit, but either way, its a win/win for you both. Now you can move on to find a lady who is into the same things you're into.. You don't have to waste your time or money on a provider who isn't feelin it. Edited March 18, 2019 by Hunter VanDyke 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 18, 2019 17 hours ago, JoDoe27 said: I’m going to take a different approach and cut the guy some slack, and take him at his word being she asked “what would you like to explore?” Without the correspondence that’s all I can do. With that said, if that’s what she said, then that’s just shit communication coming from her. “How long were you thinking?” “What package were you looking at on my site?” “In call or outcall and how long?” A number of very direct ways to get a simple answer out of him. “What would you like to explore?” leaves it open for all sorts of errors to occur. And the funny thing about it is I don’t know why everyone likes to pretend all ladies keep it PG in their responses. Even those coveted “well reviewed and respected” ladies operate on their own terms and I sure as shit have been asked point blank what services I’m looking for or given a list of services without provocation. There is so much coded language here that sometimes a very direct question is best and go from there. OP give it a day and if you decide to follow up simply insert “(insert formalities and whatever else you’d like to start with) I’m sorry if I freaked you out with my response. I was maybe confused by your question. I’d still like to meet up on (date and time <- this shows you’re serious about a date) if that works for you.” Or keep it the fuck moving and on to the next one. Sometimes you just FUBAR a date right out the gate and there’s no recovery. That’s just the way it goes. And thankfully there’s literally an entire site of possibilities for you. And if this site doesn’t work I can give you 5 more that cover this area plus. The internet is vast and deep. Explore that bitch. And see, I've seen other similar providers in the past who offer the same kind of sessions--all of which asked the same question when corresponding to me as these sessions require clear communication. I'll take a step back if I don't hear back but I want to come out of this as with a learning experience so as to not make the same mistake again! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 18, 2019 On 3/17/2019 at 10:51 AM, DarkWriter said: I didn't say anything explicit in my email but I was specific (while still being respectful). If a provider asks what you would like to explore, and you break that down is it common for them to stop talking if they feel what you've said is too explicit? Or am I--like I said--over thinking it? Who knows... so many possibilities. Maybe she didn't like what you wanted to explore. Maybe she got sick. Maybe you were not as gentleman as you think you were... maybe you are over thinking it. Just move on and keep having fun 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 Op, I just have to know what you asked. Please share. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 27 minutes ago, Laci French said: Op, I just have to know what you asked. Please share. I e been wondering myself what he said or asked for😳😳 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 5 minutes ago, ilovewomen said: I e been wondering myself what he said or asked for😳😳 The problem would be half of us would say "He asked for X, what's the big deal?" and the other half would be all "X? No frickin' wonder she didn't contact him back! He deserves to be shunned, shunned I say!" 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 Keep it general is always best. I find a list of expectations puts undue pressure on the encounter, and usually are really never that fun. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 OP, you haven't done anything here that so many of us haven't already done in our dating careers - some repeatedly - some still and wondering why... most have touched on the take-aways that i'm sure you understand... But know most of the dating you do on this board will tick all the right boxes. In time, suffice it to say if you read enough of the chatter here, you will get a feel for those that may like to date like you do - and sometimes reaching out is ok. Sometimes all you have to do is start a thread about said desires. If the content is within the guidelines of the site and the mods deem it appropriate to remain, you may just get a PM from someone who may have like dating desires... But. You have to know that this is a two-way street; and as normal as it is for you to ask for said 'date desire' it is as normal for the gal to exercise her right to veto - and whether you like it or not sometimes just not replying is their way of saying 'this isn't for me'... And sometimes it's just the vibe... And sometimes it's the way some planet lined up behind some moon and was shooting stars towards a black hole - - - - - well - sometimes the universe is just a fickle mistress... Best not take it personal and go get yourself another date... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 Then again, her inbox may be hyper-active and you're 'wondering if' inquiry got filed right behind the 'date and a time' inquiries and just got overlooked? Have you reached out to her again? Maybe a 'i hope this didn't get lost in your inbox - in the off chance it did - i would very much like to pick up where we left off and hopefully then get together to explore a,b,c?' And if my stuff ain't jiving with your stuff, no worries and thanks for your consideration? ok, my 2 cents are spent... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 I really wish some guys would ask for very specific things, so I have the opportunity to either ghost, or let him know we're not a good fit. There is nothing worse than the guy who comes in wanting something that is a total turn off for me. Then he leaves completely unsatisfied, and I'm left going wtf? Has he read any of my reviews? Why would he think I'm into that? It doesn't happen often, but it sucks balls when it does happen. Btw, sucking balls isnt one of the things thats a total turn off for me. 😂😂😂 Assholes are. Lol. Literally and figuratively 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 I'm always extremely and unequivocally specific about the kinds of services I am looking for. I have several ads out on CL's "temp jobs" category. Because of CL rules, these need to be worded carefully. As soon as I get a reply, though, I'm very explicit about the stuff I need. After all, I putting cash on the table, so I'm in charge. Just like going to Walmart - I got a shopping list, let's go to the shelves and get the merchandise. If Walmart doesn't have what I need, ok, let's go to Home Depot. Sometimes I get a reply along the lines of "you're disgusting" or "I don't do that" - doesn't bother me, I'll just wait for other responses or renew my ad. Many walk-ups in SoHo, London, have long menus sitting next to the bed. You pick what you want to do, pay the money, and get to work. No muss, no fuss. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 13 hours ago, 2Big said: As soon as I get a reply, though, I'm very explicit about the stuff I need. After all, I putting cash on the table, so I'm in charge. You really think you're in charge 🤣🤣🤣 Sometimes people feel helpless, or like they have no control over areas in they're life, so they have these small little ways that they function in life where they have the illusion of being in control or in charge. It really can be the smallest of things. Honestly, its harmless. If it works for you, and the provider can role play along, and it makes you feel better, i say it's all good. You're right. You're paying for the illusion, and as long as you both agree, it's all good. I mean you're not actually in charge, but its the fantasy of being in charge. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 37 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: You really think you're in charge 🤣🤣🤣 Sometimes people feel helpless, or like they have no control over areas in they're life, so they have these small little ways that they function in life where they have the illusion of being in control or in charge. It really can be the smallest of things. Honestly, its harmless. If it works for you, and the provider can role play along, and it makes you feel better, i say it's all good. You're right. You're paying for the illusion, and as long as you both agree, it's all good. I mean you're not actually in charge, but its the fantasy of being in charge. Well played 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2019 Well, A lot of good advise. Best one is move on to the next and just look for GFE. Most are in for most of what everyone likes. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
