Posted March 15, 2019 So I'm comfortable in assuming that there is a healthy percentage of hobbyists who do not live alone. I am one of them so I'm in no way criticizing or judging but I was curious where some of you draw the line on the extracurricular spectrum? Participating in the hobby is typically a limited arrangement and although there may be some hobbyists who develop an emotional connection with a provider, I think that is the exception and not the rule. So then you have the non-hobby related connections that people make, is that different? Is that option more frowned upon because it's not just a specific and limited interaction? I was just thinking of this recently because it's the same end result but the road to getting there is much different. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 15, 2019 I can’t speak for others but when I was married the line was expectations. Yes, over the years several escorts & I became friends, in as much as we would have occasionally have dinner or drinks as friends, but when it came to ‘business’ we expected an exchange of funds (I expected to pay, she expected to be paid.) Call it fwPb, Friends With Paid Benefits. Nobody had any expectation of running away together & living a different life. I suppose that having a sexless, but otherwise happy marriage helped. I wasn’t looking for a replacement partner. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 I'm a single (divorced) guy who loves this hobby. I have no expectations, other than having some fun play times with no commitments, other than showing respect and enjoying some shared pleasure. I'm not looking for a relationship in my life, and the ladies I've met here allow me to partake in activities that I enjoy. Though connection is key for me, I am also mindful about boundaries and expectations. I consider myself very lucky to have met some wonderful ladies who share similar views, boundaries and expectations. On 3/15/2019 at 8:49 AM, Bit Banger said: I can’t speak for others but when I was married the line was expectations. Yes, over the years several escorts & I became friends, in as much as we would have occasionally have dinner or drinks as friends, but when it came to ‘business’ we expected an exchange of funds (I expected to pay, she expected to be paid.) Call it fwPb, Friends With Paid Benefits. Nobody had any expectation of running away together & living a different life. I suppose that having a sexless, but otherwise happy marriage helped. I wasn’t looking for a replacement partner. Like Bit, I expect to pay and understand the business part of this. Over the years, I've become close to some of the ladies...have an occasional meal, sometimes support one another when going through life's challenges, but I always, always keep the "business" side separate. So far, it has worked out well and I hope it continues in that way. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 I am on a friendly basis with my ATF, but she needs to be paid for her work and I expect to do that. Friendship aside the relationship is basically a business one. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 If I understand Bravos questions, I will try to give my experiences on both. I have had connections with both escorts and civilian FWB. The escorts understand it's a business and they rely on the business for a portions of their income.What the benefits of the escort long term arrangement is descrition and confidentially. Keep in mind you may be called on for financial assistance when they get in a bind. I still see one when she comes to town , she moved out of state, and we still morally support each other after 6 years. The other we just parted ways. The civi FWB connection is bad news, they come to your residence and call at the most inconvient times. No descrion or confidentially with these girls. They want you to financilly help them for frivolous things. This ended in a divorce which cost me much more than all the long term arrangements together. Long story short, Pay the money with the escorts and pick wisely because their strongest connection to you could be to checkbook. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 So you have some kind of significant other at home, who you supplement with providers. Now factor in a non-pro lady. Assuming she is not a skanky slag, I kinda doubt she is gonna be into perpetual FWB sex based on our legendary skills as stick-men. What is her endgame? With a provider, the donation is the endgame, but the non-pro girls don't NEED FWB, and are NOT hard wired for that situation. Like as not, that endgame outcome she is actually looking for is what will bite you in the ass....or someplace else in your khaki's. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 18, 2019 I don’t believe in the rabbit. I don’t believe in the cause. I don’t believe in you. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 20, 2019 Line you crossed it with your first thought. Pay up and go forth. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 20, 2019 (edited) The line I draw is more is more impenetrable than the proposed Trump border wall. And I don't have a significant other at home. And it's true, a woman may start out being ok with FWB, but in the end it's always the same question: so, is this relationship or not? The answer always disappoints and leads to a quick exit. Edited March 20, 2019 by 2Big 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2019 A true provider typically knows the line. It is pay for play. Once in a blue moon if age, life styles, likes and dislikes are the same, a relationship can work out. I connected once with one who was trying to get her life on track. She made every wrong decision life threw at her and became homeless. So it transitioned from provider, to her name on the lease. Yes, a natural disaster. I paid for everything. She was going to stop providing, so she could get a regular job but never found one. I spent a lot of money and time helping her. I did things for her that I have never done to help anyone else. She was finally arrested on old non-hobby warrants. Bravo1, I would say it is a relationship like any other. The way you meet, might not be the norm of society. Still at least in my case, I never judged her or brought up her past life. . As for the hobby, being anonymous is the norm. It takes a lot of trust to share your life with anyone. So I don't think it is frowned upon here but safety is the issue. It takes more trust here to open your real life to someone else. As for crossing the line, one head on collision is enough for me. Drive safely. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Alex Majors said: A true provider typically knows the line. It is pay for play. Once in a blue moon if age, life styles, likes and dislikes are the same, a relationship can work out. I connected once with one who was trying to get her life on track. She made every wrong decision life threw at her and became homeless. So it transitioned from provider, to her name on the lease. Yes, a natural disaster. I paid for everything. She was going to stop providing, so she could get a regular job but never found one. I spent a lot of money and time helping her. I did things for her that I have never done to help anyone else. She was finally arrested on old non-hobby warrants. Bravo1, I would say it is a relationship like any other. The way you meet, might not be the norm of society. Still at least in my case, I never judged her or brought up her past life. . As for the hobby, being anonymous is the norm. It takes a lot of trust to share your life with anyone. So I don't think it is frowned upon here but safety is the issue. It takes more trust here to open your real life to someone else. As for crossing the line, one head on collision is enough for me. Drive safely. Know who you are seeing and keeping it all in check. Wowza you really went out on a limb for this lady it sounds like? Pay for your services and according to her rates. It gives us all a bad vibe to hear when people are taken advantage of. Yikes! Edited March 28, 2019 by Kali Sensual Reiki 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2019 Just don’t know about being a co signer with anyone? That’s a huge responsibility and seldom has a great outcome. Not that providers are looking to take advantage of you? Co sign for your kids, wife, siblings ya sure that be a better plan. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2019 22 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Just don’t know about being a co signer with anyone? That’s a huge responsibility and seldom has a great outcome. Not that providers are looking to take advantage of you? Co sign for your kids, wife, siblings ya sure that be a better plan. Last time I co-signed was for my step-daughter. Yep, I got stuck😖 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2019 17 minutes ago, Bit Banger said: Last time I co-signed was for my step-daughter. Yep, I got stuck😖 Paid off some major bills of my daughters. Student loans are not what they were back in the 80’s! 🤨 Everything in life has an incredible lesson and with a powerful lesson comes self growth. Love my adult kids. However, now that I have dug myself out of that hole and working on digging myself out of another hole. Yes, Mom is done! Kali is no longer falling for puppy dog eyes of her kids. Kids really only want you when they need something. The goal and the lesson for me is to be available for emotional support. No more mommy to the rescue on big ticket items! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2019 13 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Paid off some major bills of my daughters. Student loans are not what they were back in the 80’s! 🤨 Everything in life has an incredible lesson and with a powerful lesson comes self growth. Love my adult kids. However, now that I have dug myself out of that hole and working on digging myself out of another hole. Yes, Mom is done! Kali is no longer falling for puppy dog eyes of her kids. Kids really only want you when they need something. The goal and the lesson for me is to be available for emotional support. No more mommy to the rescue on big ticket items! Lol. I think many of us can relate to this sweerheart! We take care of them when they're children, and while they're getiing their bearing as young adults. Then they should be taking care of themselves, while we focus on oursleves. Then after a few years, they need to be taking care of us! Lol. At least thats how its goes with my mom and myself. She worked so hard to help me and my kids, and now I work hard so she can finally relax and take it easy for once in her life. I wonder if my kids will do the same for me? I'm not holding my breath though, thats for sure. 😂😂😂 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 28, 2019 (edited) 13 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Lol. I think many of us can relate to this sweerheart! We take care of them when they're children, and while they're getiing their bearing as young adults. Then they should be taking care of themselves, while we focus on oursleves. Then after a few years, they need to be taking care of us! Lol. At least thats how its goes with my mom and myself. She worked so hard to help me and my kids, and now I work hard so she can finally relax and take it easy for once in her life. I wonder if my kids will do the same for me? I'm not holding my breath though, thats for sure. 😂😂😂 Something to be said for leaving a legacy? I know you’re in good hands Hunter your babies love their momma!💋💕 Giant heart of compassion you have. I help my parents also. My mom is always confused about bills and the computer -my dad took care of everything in the past. I had to step in (which I was happy to do) once my dad went to a nursing home. Wishing I stepped earlier. Yet, I would have taken some grief from my elderly parents if I did. Thinking the struggle for me now in life is knowing my boundaries.what I can talk openly about with my family’s needs kids and moms. It is all very delicate with my words and understandings. We do what we must. 😘😘 Edited March 28, 2019 by Kali Sensual Reiki 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
