Posted March 14, 2019 Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 I'd probably just go to Starbucks and chat up a stranger. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 41 minutes ago, Copper-pipee said: I'd probably just go to Starbucks and chat up a stranger. Won’t help in this situation. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 3 hours ago, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. You are right on Cali, That is what this hobby provides in many cases, we call it companionship and is less than a shrink. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 3 hours ago, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. I’ve got that T-shirt, and the ball cap to go with it. 🥵 You should hear the late height conversations I’ve had with my cat. Right now I’m up because my hamster wheel is trying to figure out what happened last month on the cruise. Midway through my happy companion(civilian) turned into a harpy. We spent 1-2hrs/day on the phone for 3 months prior, nothing since. (She lives overseas.) I’m surrounded by people every day, but I’m not comfortable pouring my woes out to any of them. As Wglide says, that’s what this hobby, and surprisingly this community, are about. 🌞 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 3 hours ago, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. Sounds like some counseling might help.... Not EVERYONE has someone.... lots of us are fighting life alone....in a world full of people who dont understand us..... Keep your head up! And dont hesitate to ask for help.....even if you think youre too good or it wont help.... give it a try! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 If I was the only person left in this world, it would definitely be a lonely place. Hopefully I would have a faithful dog as a companion I could talk to. If I was surrounded by people and felt like I was the only person alive in this world, I would hope that I would seek out counseling. if you are feeing this way, please seek out a friend, coworker, counselor or a member of this community to talk to. There are plenty of ladies in this community that would be willing to provide a shoulder or sounding board for you. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 6 hours ago, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. If you need to talk reach out to me. I’m just drinking coffee watching my crazy dog play in the snow. Bit, same goes for you😘 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 7 hours ago, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. There is nothing wrong with it. Hell is a lonely place and everyone is headed straight for it. Doubt it? Wiser men in simpler times found themselves in it (Dante Alighieri, John Milton). The way I see things the lonely ones who become conditioned on earth get a distinct advantage over most other folks beyond the final horizon. Some have said to me, “You’re going to die alone, a lonely old man” But we all die alone don’t we? After all no one will be coming with me. I think what they mean is, you’re going to live out the rest of your life alone. To that I say, ”What’s the difference?” Sorry for your loss, though if that’s what you were implying. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 As a side note, I recently broke my leg and I’ve been getting all sorts of attention from both men and women. If I can make a suggestion? Break a leg. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 7 hours ago, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Everyday Calisurfgirl.... everyday. I know the feeling. I focus on work, and try and make a positive difference in someone's life so at the end of the day, I can look myself in the mirror and know I can fight through it again tomorrow. For me, the nights are the hardest, to know that no one is there. In the morning I focus on what I need to do during the day and when life settles down, I realize I am alone.. We fight through it and in the meantime we make a positive difference. We focus on the small pleasures life offers, a spring day, a perfect piece of toast, a favorite song. We treat ourselves to a small threat, a malted milk shake or an expensive cup of coffee because we are worth it. We turn up the radio and dance alone till we are tired and can fall asleep, we go for a drive, or set in the park and watch the birds. We volunteer to help others so that we do make a difference. We find a happy place, relax, regroup and find the straight to push on. I think we all experience these things because we are all human. Everyone can be alone in a crowd. Don't get down on yourself, you are just human. Imperfect in a perfect way. The world is better because of you and one day, when you wake up, you will have someone special at your side.. that person is looking for you. Stay strong for that future friend. Surfers use the term "stoke". It seems you have lost your stoke. If you need someone to talk to, you are welcome to email me. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 22 minutes ago, Vassago said: As a side note, I recently broke my leg and I’ve been getting all sorts of attention from both men and women. If I can make a suggestion? Break a leg. Are you okay? Need anything? How in the world did you break your leg? Love you sweetheart and keep hobbling. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 Having someone to share life with makes the good times so much better and the bad times so much easier to handle. There are many here who have offered to listen I know it has helped me in the past and I have confidence that it will in the future. Always glad to listen myself hope you find that special someone that you can share with. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 5 hours ago, MeganMarie4u said: Sounds like some counseling might help.... Not EVERYONE has someone.... lots of us are fighting life alone....in a world full of people who dont understand us..... Keep your head up! And dont hesitate to ask for help.....even if you think youre too good or it wont help.... give it a try! This is so true Megan, and @Sexy Francesca. Often times us ladies are the breadwinners, the strong ones, the ones that hold everything down. It does get lonely and challenging. It would nice to have an ally or teammate that understands. @Calisurfgirl, just know that there are some real sweet trustworthy people here. Feel free to reach out. :-) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 I think it might be a good idea if one of the ladies on here reached out directly to this YL. I'm sure it is not a man she wants to talk to but another lady who can relate and sympathize. Her contact info is available. We all need someone to talk to once in a while. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 (edited) 38 minutes ago, Mustang87 said: I think it might be a good idea if one of the ladies on here reached out directly to this YL. I'm sure it is not a man she wants to talk to but another lady who can relate and sympathize. Her contact info is available. We all need someone to talk to once in a while. Its really up to her to reach out. I dont want to push her into something shes uncomfortable with. Its scary to talk about your problens with strangers even if they can relate. Some people just want to say their piece and thats the end of it. I hope she does reach out! Just like her info is available, so is ours and she can do so at her own pace! 💜 this board.... Edited March 14, 2019 by MeganMarie4u 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 22 minutes ago, MeganMarie4u said: Its really up to her to reach out. I dont want to push her into something shes uncomfortable with. Its scary to talk about your problens with strangers even if they can relate. Some people just want to say their piece and thats the end of it. I hope she does reach out! Just like her info is available, so is ours and she can do so at her own pace! 💜 this board.... Just afraid this thread may have been her way of reaching out. Or maybe I'm wrong and should just be minding my own business. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 8 hours ago, Bit Banger said: You should hear the late height conversations I’ve had with my cat. So much for wee hour typing. That should read, “... late night conversations ...” 🧐 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 14, 2019 Been there, done that and still doing it. I have managed to cope with it. I suggest that you reach out to one of the ladies here. I know that Laci is good at it.and probably Megan and Audry as well. They will understand!!!!!!!!!! signed "the secret life of walter Middy" 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 There are too many posts in this thread to give rep points to. I'd run out before halfway through. Glad to have the idea reinforced that we have some special and caring people in our TOB community. The sentiment seems to be, "Reach out", and I fully agree. Most people need someone to talk with to not feel alone when going through life's challenges. And just "talking with" can be so helpful. Especially when it is with someone who is non-judgmental, doesn't try to "fix it" and just listens...really listens. Times like that can be priceless. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 Just though I’d re-visit this thread and see how the OP is doing. But for anyone in our community who is having lonely thoughts that have been expressed here, please reach out to someone to talk. For the ladies, there is always one of the ladies here who will be a sounding board for you. Us men could reach out, but that could seem weird to a lady. For the guys, I’m sure several of the ladies would be willing to be a sounding board, especially if you both know each other very well. There are also professionals and talk lines where you can talk anonymously. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 When I have those moments I go into the studio with a pen and paper, throw on the headphones, start strumming some chords and writing down whatever comes to mind. Lately I've spent alot of time in there. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 16, 2019 I'm with Ilovewomen, in hoping that the OP is doing Ok. Sometimes stess can really bring you down. Seek someone to talk it over and let it out. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 7 hours ago, Juanmotai said: When I have those moments I go into the studio with a pen and paper, throw on the headphones, start strumming some chords and writing down whatever comes to mind. Lately I've spent alot of time in there. I’m not much of a composer, but just grabbing the guitar and focusing on a piece I’m trying to learn often helps. Working out the fingering on some classical pieces can be quite a challenge. Anything that gets your mind of what’s bothering you helps de-stress the situation. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 On 3/14/2019 at 1:35 AM, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. Cali, I can only speak from personal experience and I am not a Psychologist, but I think you are on the threshold of true adulthood, where you realize that all human relationships come to an end, all of them, that you are destined to be essentially alone throughout life and that some day you are going to die, alone. My longest relationship, which lasted over sixty years, with my mother, ended not too long ago, they all do. This is not unique to you, it is the human condition. Most people encounter this bit of existential angst in the late 20s or early 30s, so you are right on schedule. Once you emerge from the darkness, this should not be depressing, but liberating. Knowing that every human relationship ends can motivate you to make the most of each of them while they last. My ATATF and I used to talk about this a lot, and I use the metaphor that our souls are simply floating through the cold, dark, beautiful, scary universe, alone. Every now and again you bump up against another floating soul and float together them for a while. With luck, when the relationship ends, you have been changed, some of you rubbed off on the other, and some of the other rubbed off on you. When my relationship with her ended, I floated away a much wiser, stronger, and significantly richer and more damaged soul. The good news is that if you can accept this premise, you can embrace aloneness as a normal condition and simply the time you are floating alone between relationships, but knowing you will soon bump another soul or even souls for some time. When that happens, you have to embrace that relationship wholeheartedly while it lasts, since it too will come to an end. Every relationship does, and I am not just talking about romantic relationships - all human relationships come to an end. You are complete and whole within yourself, you can float on your own, and there is much in the universe waiting for you to float through. Alone. And you can get a dog. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 Or volunteer to walk dogs! That’s some love there! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 1 hour ago, BadBoy said: Every relationship does, and I am not just talking about romantic relationships - all human relationships come to an end. You are complete and whole within yourself, you can float on your own, and there is much in the universe waiting for you to float through. Alone. And you can get a dog. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 Oh boy, you know when you have gotten too weird for prime time when the only people clapping are the Addams Family. BRAVO, hmm, that's a good motto. I need to get a good motto. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2019 3 minutes ago, BadBoy said: Oh boy, you know when you have gotten too weird for prime time when the only people clapping are the Addams Family. BRAVO, hmm, that's a good motto. I need to get a good motto. 😁😄🤪😂🤗🤡 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 18, 2019 On 3/14/2019 at 1:35 AM, Calisurfgirl said: Everyone has someone but what happens if you wake up and realize no one is there? Weird question but curious to see if this has happened to others? Maybe environment, cultural difference or inability to follow others. I’ve felt exactly like this. Maybe with me was the fact that I decided to leave everything behind, family, friends...pursuing a ‘better’ life in a different country, immersed in a different culture. I would wake up, alone...and asked myself wtf am I doing here!? I guess as human beings we all have a need of feeling that we belong to something, to a community, to a family or any group of people with a meaningful purpose. not having that in your life can lead to feelings of loneliness...and those feelings suck ☹️ 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
