NolaScofflaw-banned

Not responding to texts

59 posts in this topic

I'm having trouble finding providers that will text me back.  Even most of the ones that do will ghost when I try to set up an appointment.  Is this just how things are in this area?  Also, I'm curious why it's like this here.  Finding a provider wasn't this difficult before I moved near the Springs.

Edited by NolaScofflaw
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May I suggest that you read their listing and their preferred method of contact.

If you are using their preferred method of contact, take a look at your approach and the content of your texts.

In Denver and COS, the ladies like a gentlemen who contacts them with clear, coherent sentences that are respectful.

Do not ask about services or rates in your initial contact or state what you like to do.

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Maybe that's part of the problem.  The first thing I ask is what their rates are, if they don't have a website that provides this information.  This didn't seem to bother the providers in Louisiana.  Is there a different approach that's preferred for obtaining that information up here?

 

It just occurred to me what's probably going on here.  All the men in the military bases are blowing up their phones and my texts just get lost in that mess.  I'm thinking I might have better luck in Denver.

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Very common in the Springs.

I find that many providers won't respond under they are actively seeing clients.  It's not uncommon to get no initial response, and then several days later get a random "hey baby are you ready to schedule?" response out of the blue.

Not a lot of providers like setting things up in advance in this town.

I do tend to have better luck with providers that advertise here, rather than on other sketchy sites.

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3 hours ago, NolaScofflaw said:

I'm having trouble finding providers that will text me back.  Even most of the ones that do will ghost when I try to set up an appointment.  Is this just how things are in this area?  Also, I'm curious why it's like this here.  Finding a provider wasn't this difficult before I moved near the Springs.

I prefer no text.

If I do not recognize the number a auto response will be sent asking the texter to visit my website. 

It is the easiest way to Introduce yourself, see how to pass screening and answer questions that you may have...

Most text messages are from timewasters that do not read the provider ads but only read a phone number.

 

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Like said, make sure you read the listing or website and find out how initial contact should be made.

Be a gentleman and you should be fine.

I have yet to contact a lady, via preferred method and using a nice introduction, that has not gotten back to me within the day.

Look for reputable ladies, follow their directions and be a gentleman and you should have no issue. 

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1 hour ago, K2dnvrfun said:

Like said, make sure you read the listing or website and find out how initial contact should be made.

Be a gentleman and you should be fine.

I have yet to contact a lady, via preferred method and using a nice introduction, that has not gotten back to me within the day.

Look for reputable ladies, follow their directions and be a gentleman and you should have no issue. 

I think I've been following the suggestions made here, except that I always ask what the rates are before agreeing to meet, but my experiences have been different from your experiences.  I'm not sure why.  The only thing that comes to mind is maybe a provider blacklisted me recently.  That might could explain it.  Or maybe you just can't ask what the rates are ahead of time in this area, but that doesn't make any sense, you would effectively be writing a blank check.  If Denver doesn't work out I might just semi-retire until I move to a different area.  This is requiring too much time and effort.

Edited by NolaScofflaw
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3 hours ago, MikeInCOSprings said:

Very common in the Springs.

I find that many providers won't respond under they are actively seeing clients.  It's not uncommon to get no initial response, and then several days later get a random "hey baby are you ready to schedule?" response out of the blue.

Not a lot of providers like setting things up in advance in this town.

I do tend to have better luck with providers that advertise here, rather than on other sketchy sites.

Gee, I don't seem to have a problem.

I don't interact with a provider who's not advertising because they are probably not available that day (amazing how much sense that makes).

I also pay attention to their listing and/or website.

I've also not had a problem setting things up in advance.

And I don't look anywhere except TOB. 

Hmmm...maybe my approach is just a whole lot better than yours.

Edited by Just Another Guy
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6 minutes ago, Just Another Guy said:

Gee, I don't seem to have a problem.

I don't interact with a provider who's not advertising because they are probably not available that day (amazing how much sense that makes).

I also pay attention to their listing and/or website.

I've also not had a problem setting things up in advance.

And I don't look anywhere except TOB. 

Hmmm...maybe my approach is just a whole lot better than yours.

I've been focusing on the ones that have advertised most recently, because I've assumed that that would increase my odds of success.  Nope.

There very well may be something about your approach that's getting you better results.  Unless I've been blacklisted, then maybe that's it.

Edited by NolaScofflaw
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8 hours ago, NolaScofflaw said:

I think I've been following the suggestions made here, except that I always ask what the rates are before agreeing to meet, but my experiences have been different from your experiences.  I'm not sure why.  The only thing that comes to mind is maybe a provider blacklisted me recently.  That might could explain it.  Or maybe you just can't ask what the rates are ahead of time in this area, but that doesn't make any sense, you would effectively be writing a blank check.  If Denver doesn't work out I might just semi-retire until I move to a different area.  This is requiring too much time and effort.

I don't ask about rates right away. If lady has a website they are typically listed and if not, first I introduce myself, tell a little about me, offer to provide my references, and state some times I'm looking for, usually at least a few days in advance. Once I get a response and we get through some formalities I will ask for donation amounts. Coming right off the bat asking for donations may cause some concern on their part

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I am sure many providers will not respond to a text that ask for location, or donations if she as a website.  With a few clicks those things can be answered for most girls on here.  Put a little effort in, and see if that changes your results.

If you have cancelled last minute or no showed a provider to get black listed you better retire.

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I like texting as it allows me to verify you’re phone number but too many men will text stupid stuff like: 

-hi 

-you avail? 

-do you do anal 

literally with no context!

Try saying: “hello how are you? My name is Tom and I’d like to meet on X day at x time. Here are my references. Thanks!”

that’s the key gentleman 

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If you’re relying on a text to make a connection you’re not going to have a lot of success 

consider howmany txts the provider may get?

what about your response time?

what and how are you asking in that txt?

why should she respond to your above all the others?

oh yeah and if you’ve already decided you’re going to connect with that provider on that day you may be disappointed. 

Are you treating the provider like you would a doctor or lawyer or mechanic?  How and why is your approach different?

Finally, I grew up in CS, there’s something in the water that makes people crazy there...maybe a contributing factor?  (I left a long time ago and have never looked back)

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You’ve mentioned it twice in your responses so I have to ask the question...

Why do you think a provider would have blacklisted you?

Here is some suggestions that may help you...

When contacting a provider by her preferred method of contact, of course be a gentleman.

Tell her you saw her and you are interested in meeting her.

Offer to submit references or undergo her required screening.

Basically establish a rapport before asking her rates. In other words, wait until she responds back to you. She might even tell you what her rates are when she responds back.

Or at the least, towards the end of your initial communication before sending, you might say you are curious what her rates are as they weren’t listed. But make sure you are 100% confident her rates aren’t posted from where you discovered her before discussing rates. 

A lot of ladies do not want to talk about rates at first.

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16 hours ago, NolaScofflaw said:

I'm having trouble finding providers that will text me back.  Even most of the ones that do will ghost when I try to set up an appointment.  Is this just how things are in this area?  Also, I'm curious why it's like this here.  Finding a provider wasn't this difficult before I moved near the Springs.

Maybe the lady is out living life and not a slave to her phone??  

Did you send references or a p411 request and ask her for a day/time to schedule?  

So many possibilities on how this didn’t work well and I’m sorry it happened to you. Try reaching out again and things might go better. Stay safe and have fun,

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I only allow text When booking the meeting AFTER screening. But a lot of guys seem to think they can put a lot of detail in their texts and we haven't even met yet. Those are the guys I tend to avoid. Do not ask me to show up at your door dressed like a hooker. Do not ask me a bunch of personal session questions before we have even met, Do not send random " hey" texts at anytime you feel like chatting. 

 My TEXT space and frame of mind is For gents I have already seen. Those gents are welcome to say " Hey" anytime. They have put forth into actually Meeting and deserve the Few seconds it takes to reply. . 

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It is really stupid to solicit during initial contact or anytime, but if you have to because you are a classless dick, then by all means ask for those sexual favors from a complete stranger you've never met?  See where that gets you?  may as well save your money and start building model airplanes or some other hobby.  

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3 hours ago, K2dnvrfun said:

I don't ask about rates right away. If lady has a website they are typically listed and if not, first I introduce myself, tell a little about me, offer to provide my references, and state some times I'm looking for, usually at least a few days in advance. Once I get a response and we get through some formalities I will ask for donation amounts. Coming right off the bat asking for donations may cause some concern on their part

Do most providers here really prefer for you to beat around the bush?  I would have imagined that they would appreciate avoiding the small talk and just getting straight to setting up an appointment.

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3 minutes ago, NolaScofflaw said:

Do most providers here really prefer for you to beat around the bush?  I would have imagined that they would appreciate avoiding the small talk and just getting straight to setting up an appointment.

Much to learn grasshopper 😂

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1 hour ago, Bootsce said:

If you’re relying on a text to make a connection you’re not going to have a lot of success 

consider howmany txts the provider may get?

what about your response time?

what and how are you asking in that txt?

why should she respond to your above all the others?

oh yeah and if you’ve already decided you’re going to connect with that provider on that day you may be disappointed. 

Are you treating the provider like you would a doctor or lawyer or mechanic?  How and why is your approach different?

Finally, I grew up in CS, there’s something in the water that makes people crazy there...maybe a contributing factor?  (I left a long time ago and have never looked back)

I'm specifically on here to avoid making connections with people.  I'm approaching these people exactly like how I would approach a doctor, lawyer, or mechanic.  You might be right about the number of texts that the providers get in the Springs.  I'm banking on my results being better in Denver.  It's a longer drive, but may take overall less time to deal with the providers there.  I usually respond within a couple of minutes, unless I'm busy.  I'm not sure they have any reason to respond to me above the others, other than the fact that I'm to-the-point and try not to waste their time.  Some members here seem to think that this approach might be turning them off.

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1 hour ago, ilovewomen said:

You’ve mentioned it twice in your responses so I have to ask the question...

Why do you think a provider would have blacklisted you?

Here is some suggestions that may help you...

When contacting a provider by her preferred method of contact, of course be a gentleman.

Tell her you saw her and you are interested in meeting her.

Offer to submit references or undergo her required screening.

Basically establish a rapport before asking her rates. In other words, wait until she responds back to you. She might even tell you what her rates are when she responds back.

Or at the least, towards the end of your initial communication before sending, you might say you are curious what her rates are as they weren’t listed. But make sure you are 100% confident her rates aren’t posted from where you discovered her before discussing rates. 

A lot of ladies do not want to talk about rates at first.

I'm not sure.  I didn't think that I had pissed off any of these women, but maybe I'm wrong about that.  I send them a message on here at the same time that I send the text and mention the other in each.  I figured that the references on my profile would work, but I might could try offering to manually provide more, if that might help.  I'll try drawing out the process a little more to see if that helps.  It would figure that that would make things worse, but maybe not, it's worth a shot.

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55 minutes ago, Laci French said:

Maybe the lady is out living life and not a slave to her phone??  

Did you send references or a p411 request and ask her for a day/time to schedule?  

So many possibilities on how this didn’t work well and I’m sorry it happened to you. Try reaching out again and things might go better. Stay safe and have fun,

I probably should have been more specific.  I never hear back from them, no matter how long I wait for a response.

 

51 minutes ago, Sapphire said:

It is really stupid to solicit during initial contact or anytime, but if you have to because you are a classless dick, then by all means ask for those sexual favors from a complete stranger you've never met?  See where that gets you?  may as well save your money and start building model airplanes or some other hobby.  

I'm not going to meet with someone before figuring out what their rates are.  If they don't post it anywhere, I'm going to ask.  If that makes me a dick, I'm okay with that.  I actually do build model airplanes, I'll take your advice and focus on that if I can't find a couple of good providers in the area.  Thanks for the input.

 

30 minutes ago, Laci French said:

Much to learn grasshopper 😂

Seems like it!

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OK.  In the interest of trying to help a newbie (we were all there) fellow hobbyist, lets summarize some guidelines:

1.  Look at all the data posted by provider on TOB, or her website.  All of it. I assume you don't have P411, but do your homework - including reading reviews and sending any questions to other guys via PM. Do all this BEFORE  you decide whom to contact.

2.  Reach out to her using her preferred contact method.  If none is given (rare) give her a call or send TOB PM. 

3. Be polite, respectful and friendly! You are asking for a date, not demanding a service.  "Hi, this is Joe.  You have great reviews and beautiful pics! I am hoping to please schedule 90 minutes at 10:00 on Thursday morning at your incall. If that doesn't work, please suggest an alternative.  It would be great of you could please share with me the typical donation. Can't wait to see you! Thanks!"

4. If you have TOB references, share them. If not, be prepared to gracefully go through her screening. You might want to initially focus on those women who are well reviewed and advertise "Newbie friendly" until you have a couple references. 

5. Show up on time ( not 15 min early or late). Bring a small gift or her choice of wine or even just Starbucks. Be freshly showered and have minty fresh breath.

 6. Again, be polite, respectful and make sure she also has a good time. Her reference is valuable to you and, who knows, she may become an ATF who welcomes your return visits.

I'm sure others will have additional suggestions. I have never had a local provider fail to respond to me.

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Be personable. Don’t approach them like you would a doctor, lawyer, mechanic.

The ladies here are real people with real lives and personalities.

If your approach leaves them thinking you two won’t be compatible, they May not respond back to you.

Many of the fantastic ladies here do want to enjoy themselves while in the company of gentlemen.

Offer to give them your references. Don’t make the ladies look them up on your profile. And make sure your references are current and know you are using them as a reference.

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7 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

Be personable. Don’t approach them like you would a doctor, lawyer, mechanic.

So don’t approach them as a skilled practitioner who you are interested in working with?  

 

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6 hours ago, jasminewaterss7 said:

I like texting as it allows me to verify you’re phone number but too many men will text stupid stuff like: 

-hi 

-you avail? 

-do you do anal 

literally with no context!

Try saying: “hello how are you? My name is Tom and I’d like to meet on X day at x time. Here are my references. Thanks!”

that’s the key gentleman 

   I agree 💯 there’s a friend of mine that says she gets those stupid texts all the time... come on guys .. introduce yourself... show some respect to a lady...

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I just texted one that I had texted last week, letting her know that I could send her my references before getting her rates, if that would help.  She mentioned that I only had three reviews.  I think asking for rates in literally the first text message and only having three reviews are probably the two main problems here.  I bet waiting a bit to ask for rates will help and getting more reviews on here should make this process as easy as it used to be.

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8 minutes ago, NolaScofflaw said:

I'm going to keep treating them like a mechanic, though, because that's what they are.

Yikes, carefully buddy, you were doing well asking for advice and taking it. Now saying they are 'mechanics' may just get you a flogging from some ladies. 

I think you're on the right track, just keep at it and follow said advice.

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