Phil-anderer

A tough one for me

30 posts in this topic

I had an appointment on Wednesday, with someone well-established (who I hadn't seen before) at a nice hotel.  

When I got there, I felt several red flags.  There were at least 3 security guards roaming that looked like they could be UC (do they usually carry?), and two unmarked cars outside.  When I got inside, it just felt 'off'.  So I texted the provider and waved off.  And I feel HORRIBLE about it.  

Most likely I was just paranoid, but my spidey senses were tingling like they never had.  I reached out to her to apologize, but I'm still feeling shitty about it, and she was clearly confused, although she didn't seem angry.  

Not really looking for anything from anyone - just wanted to vent.  :(

 

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Sometimes you just got to go with the spidey senses. It sucks for both sides.

Try to reschedule. Make up for it. Maybe bring a nice I'm sorry tip or gift

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Can't say I blame you for leaving. I think we must all listen to that little voice that keeps saying to us, "something isn't right". With that said, this was not her fault.  I suggest a sincere apology. I suggest you get this young lady a cancellation fee ASAP. Regardless whether or not she agrees to see you again. If she is gracious enough to reschedule I suggest asking her what her favorite adult beverage would be and then bring that with you. I would even suggest bringing two bottles of her favorite adult beverage. One to share while there with her and one for her to enjoy at a later date. She just may smile as she is enjoying it later. Just my two cents worth.

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1 hour ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

A cancellation fee is appropriate in this circumstance. 

Yes! I would definitely think like this.

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2 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

A cancellation fee is appropriate in this circumstance. 

Newbie question: How does one pay a cancellation fee to a provider? Don't most online payment systems (e.g., PayPal) reveal the RW identity of the sender?

 

3 hours ago, Phil-anderer said:

and two unmarked cars outside

I'm curious how you identified the unmarked cars. Did you look inside the windows and see police terminals, radios, etc.?

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6 minutes ago, mountainrider33 said:

Nope

So what does the recipient see? A user name? An email address?

A user name could be a problem if it consists or or contains the sender's real name. The latter could be a problem if it's a RW email account.

Or do people create separate, anonymous PayPal accounts just for hobbying?

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28 minutes ago, AsianLover said:

Newbie question: How does one pay a cancellation fee to a provider? Don't most online payment systems (e.g., PayPal) reveal the RW identity of the sender

 

That would need to be discussed between you and the provider. Ladies are different in how they handle cancellation fees. 

 

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How about driving over and sticking the cash into her cleavage with a kiss, a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers?

You better do something dude, this is how you end up on blacklists.

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34 minutes ago, AsianLover said:

Newbie question: How does one pay a cancellation fee to a provider? Don't most online payment systems (e.g., PayPal) reveal the RW identity of the sender?

If one has a P411 account you could send them points, that's how I did it. If they have a fake id, you could moneygram to Walmart. I've only ever paid 1 and I still saw her 3 weeks later. 

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21 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

How about driving over and sticking the cash into her cleavage with a kiss, a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers?

You better do something dude, this is how you end up on blacklists.

I've already reached out. Going to make it right. I appreciate the feedback!

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4 hours ago, Phil-anderer said:

I had an appointment on Wednesday, with someone well-established (who I hadn't seen before) at a nice hotel.  

When I got there, I felt several red flags.  There were at least 3 security guards roaming that looked like they could be UC (do they usually carry?), and two unmarked cars outside.  When I got inside, it just felt 'off'.  So I texted the provider and waved off.  And I feel HORRIBLE about it.  

Most likely I was just paranoid, but my spidey senses were tingling like they never had.  I reached out to her to apologize, but I'm still feeling shitty about it, and she was clearly confused, although she didn't seem angry.  

Not really looking for anything from anyone - just wanted to vent.  :(

 

Generally hotel security do not carry concealed weapons. The only time I think that would be a normal occurance is if there is a polictical figure head and or some sort of celebrity stay or attending lecture and/or conference. If it were the brown palace, native or ritz that type of scenario would seem normal but for the hotel security staff and not private or state security officials to have side arms on there person seems very ODD. I think you did the right thing. Possibly no pun intended “dodged a bullet”. Our intuition is there for a reason. A standard recall of subconscious understanding pertaining to our survival and primal instincts. Even some cases when you think you have observed situations or surroundings adequately but when your intuition kicks in can remember a detail that may have gone unnoticed or neglected at the moment when that memory was established. 

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I have never "felt several red flags."

Police are NOT going to wander around. If they are trying to bust clients, they'll be in the room next to the bait girl, with listening/recording devices.

You may have possibly seen security for a VIP. Wild guess...

As far as things feeling "off"...what? Are you clairvoyant?

Stings using someone "well-established" are EXTREMELY rare. Virtually non-existent.

Every time I read one of these "It felt funny, so I ran away" posts, it seems silly to me. I'm sorry if i offend, but I don't get it. :(

 

 

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1 hour ago, pfunk said:

I have never "felt several red flags."

Police are NOT going to wander around. If they are trying to bust clients, they'll be in the room next to the bait girl, with listening/recording devices.

You may have possibly seen security for a VIP. Wild guess...

As far as things feeling "off"...what? Are you clairvoyant?

Stings using someone "well-established" are EXTREMELY rare. Virtually non-existent.

Every time I read one of these "It felt funny, so I ran away" posts, it seems silly to me. I'm sorry if i offend, but I don't get it. :(

 

 

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of this happening.  Great point.

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You're all right I'm sure. I'm think it was paranoia, and now that you said it, it might have been executive level security, which seems to fit. No, I'm not clairvoyant, but things weren't normal in my estimation, and I usually trust my gut. 

I'm not asking you to understand. I'm just posting because I felt bad about it and care about leaving someone hanging. I'm making it right. 

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14 hours ago, Phil-anderer said:

There were at least 3 security guards roaming that looked like they could be UC (do they usually carry?)

Were they carrying firearms openly? Because if they were trying to carry concealed, they were doing it wrong if you were able to notice their firearms.

What were they wearing? And what indicated to you that they were security? If UC LE, they wouldn't have been wearing anything to cause them to stand out, and their firearms would definitely have been concealed.

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Hotel security do not pack heat and dont let anyone tell you otherwise....You did the right thing and who knows maybe that provider got herself into some trouble and might have been trying to get herself out of trouble....You never know 

 

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Better safe than sorry.  This has happened to me on one or two occasions, and I backed off too.  But definitely try to make it up to her.  

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Something like this has only happened to me one time.  Luckily, I knew the lady I was seeing, so we were able to communicate openly.  Because of the police presence, we were both worried and were able to arrange for something that worked for both of us.  Good and open communication is key.  And I don't want to be seen as a "flake", but I also want to be and feel safe. 

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I've worked in busy ERs for a long time. The cops are friendly, and you learn how to tell who is carrying or not. I could always tell when hospital security was. Like I've said, I'm fully aware that I was probably wrong about the reason, but I'm certain they were armed. 

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Always go with your gut. Rule one. That said, if she's been well established and is still well established, posting ads, and receiving new reviews, they were probably false flags. Re-book with the understanding you'll bring a healthy tip in the form of a cancellation fee along with you. Nobody's fault if that was the case. It's just reasonable to keep your rep in the green. 

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Despite all advice to "follow your gut," there are no data to suggest our "guts" make decisions worth a shit. Quite the contrary.  We are, for better or worse, "predictably irrational." This is overwhelmingly the case where our emotions are involved. To wit, we don't see the world as it it; rather, we see it as we are.  

Edited by Happymon
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Damn Happy I was just getting a grip on the other analogies and you throw the perverbial wrench into it.  

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It's always good to follow your gut and an apology fee would be a nice way to make it up to the lady. 

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The problem I foresee with this situation and an apology fee is the fact if it was in deed a bad situation offering any type of compensation could create a problem.....Dont want any money transferring hands for any reason if it is a potential sting....Maybe I am wrong thinking that way but it seems like it would just not end up being such a good thing.....Just saying 

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First, I actually agree, follow your instincts.

Next, how did you know they were unmarked cars?

Finally, if cops are doing stings they won't be roaming the hallways with guns where you can see or notice, they definitely wouldn't park their marked or unmarked cars where you can find them.  They hide, very well, and don't give away the sting. 

Finally, I'll pay a cancellation fee the same day I get free services to make up from being ghosted. I understand the ladies argument that it's rude and time wasting therefore I try to schedule when I actually will show up, but my dentist, doctor, mechanic, and employers don't get cancellation fees, why the heck would I give one to a escort. But...i do believe in being a good client.

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I once had a lady cancel with me because she felt housekeeping was watching her room and she didn't feel safe letting me come in. People are going to bail at the last minute in this hobby when things don't feel right, and I think that is just part of the landscape we all have to operate in.

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On 1/28/2019 at 5:16 PM, Happymon said:

Despite all advice to "follow your gut," there are no data to suggest our "guts" make decisions worth a shit. Quite the contrary.  We are, for better or worse, "predictably irrational." This is overwhelmingly the case where our emotions are involved. To wit, we don't see the world as it it; rather, we see it as we are.  

All very true - humans are a bad judge of risk and psychic ability is not real.

However, if you do NOT listen to your irrational "gut", and you DO get caught, that abusive little voice in your head will be calling you an idiot for the rest of your life. I know, because ... well just trust me on this one ;)

So better safe than sorry. There's no harm in bailing other than a cancellation fee and a rosy palm.

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3 hours ago, fork said:

All very true - humans are a bad judge of risk and psychic ability is not real.

However, if you do NOT listen to your irrational "gut", and you DO get caught, that abusive little voice in your head will be calling you an idiot for the rest of your life. I know, because ... well just trust me on this one ;)

So better safe than sorry. There's no harm in bailing other than a cancellation fee and a rosy palm.

Hey, ya gotta hang your hat on something, which is actually what we do. When it works out we congratulate ourselves on our brilliant insight and when it doesn't we thrash ourselves for "how could I have missed it." 

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