Posted April 23, 2020 I was hoping to see what you tried to post. I can use some laughs. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 1, 2020 A guy and a blonde had wild passionate sex. "I guess that was the best sex you ever had" he said "Whatever makes you say that" she asked "Well, he said, "while we were doing it, I noticed your toes curled" "Oh" she said, "that was just because most men take off my pantyhose first" 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 7, 2020 Her: bop it Her: twist it Her: pull it Him: this is the strangest handjob that I’ve ever received. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 8, 2020 On 5/6/2020 at 8:56 PM, Laci French said: Her: bop it Her: twist it Her: pull it Him: this is the strangest handjob that I’ve ever received. Ouch! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 8, 2020 On 5/6/2020 at 8:56 PM, Laci French said: Her: bop it Her: twist it Her: pull it Him: this is the strangest handjob that I’ve ever received. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2020 Teacher was talking in class one day and asked "what are 3 kings that bring joy and happiness to people?" Little Johnny raises his hand. Teacher looks at the rest of the class and nobody has their hand raised. Reluctantly she says "Yes Johnny. Who are 3 kings that bring joy and happiness?" LIttle Johhny says "Drin-king, Smo-king and Fuc-king." 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 3, 2020 Social Distancing Pick Up Lines:: Because the pandemic can't stop love! These social distancing pick up lines will get you through your quarantine! 1.) I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. 2.) If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me? 3.) Hey baby, you come within 6 feet of here often? 4.) Without you, my life is as empty as the supermarket shelves. 5.) If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters of longing between them. 6.) Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again? 7.) Wanna make plans that we have to cancel? 8.) Why yes, it is a megaphone AND I am happy to see you. Pandemic lines 9.) Are you a pandemic because you’ve got my heart on lock-down. 10.) I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too. 11.) I have an extra hazmat suit with your name on it. 12.) Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead. Funny social distancing pick up lines 13.) If the virus doesn’t take you out, can I? 14.) If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be in the highest tax bracket and then I’d be able to get tested. 15.) Hey babe, I’m vaccinated. 16.) Did you just give me the virus because baby, you are getting me all hot and bothered. 17.) Is it hot in here or is it just our fevers and shortness of breath? Hand sanitizer humor 18.) You smell so good, is that Purell® you’re wearing? 19.) Are you hand sanitizer? Because I want you all over me. 20.) Sanitize me harder. 21.) Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just happy to be within six feet of me? 22.) Hey baby, I’ve got toilet paper and hand sanitizer back at my place. Social media 23.) I saw you liked and retweeted my tweet, so this is getting pretty serious huh? 24.) FaceTime and chill? Funny quarantine pick up lines 25.) You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t”. 26.) I wish I knew how to quarantine you. 27.) You’re the one that I want To be quarantined with… 28.) If you need someone to self-isolate with I make a mean Quarantini. Mask and toilet paper themes 29.) I have toilet paper. 30.) That mask brings out the beauty in your eyes. 31.) Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin. 32.) You won’t find a guy with a better respirator mask than me. Social distancing pick up lines from romantic movies 33.) You had me at a 64 oz tub of aloe-based hand sanitizer. – Jerry Maguire movie line, Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger 33.) I will stand in front of your house with my emergency radio from the ’80s until you are out of quarantine, babe. – Say Anything scene with John Cusack 34.) I’ll have what she’s having! For delivery… And please leave it at my doorstep thank you so much. – When Harry Met Sally movie line, Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal 35.) Here’s looking at you from the mandatory 8-foot parameter, kid. – Casablanca movie quote, Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman 36.) You know how to whistle, don’t ya? You just put your lips together & blow into this test kit. I should have the results back next Tuesday. – To Have and Have Not movie line, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall 37.) I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking him to maybe move back another foot. Thanks. – Notting Hill movie quote, Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant More romantic social distancing pick up lines… 38.) Hey babe! Can I ship you a drink? 39.) I’d jump in front of a sneeze for you. 40.) Baby, you must be pneumonia, because you’re taking my breath away. 41.) You can’t spell virus without U and I. 42.) So you would touch me with a ten-foot pole? 43.) Would you like to wipe down any of my surfaces? 44.) I’m the only thing still on the shelf these days. 45.) Are you looking for a naughty girl? Because I only washed my hands for 19 seconds. 46.) We can have our happily hoarding ever after… 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2020 If she refuses to swallow, put it on a spoon and make airplane noises. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2020 1 minute ago, Laci French said: If she refuses to swallow, put it on a spoon and make airplane noises. Say “open the hanger” 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2020 On 6/3/2020 at 9:35 AM, Kaduk said: Social Distancing Pick Up Lines:: Because the pandemic can't stop love! These social distancing pick up lines will get you through your quarantine! 1.) I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. 2.) If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me? 3.) Hey baby, you come within 6 feet of here often? 4.) Without you, my life is as empty as the supermarket shelves. 5.) If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters of longing between them. 6.) Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again? 7.) Wanna make plans that we have to cancel? 8.) Why yes, it is a megaphone AND I am happy to see you. Pandemic lines 9.) Are you a pandemic because you’ve got my heart on lock-down. 10.) I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too. 11.) I have an extra hazmat suit with your name on it. 12.) Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead. Funny social distancing pick up lines 13.) If the virus doesn’t take you out, can I? 14.) If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be in the highest tax bracket and then I’d be able to get tested. 15.) Hey babe, I’m vaccinated. 16.) Did you just give me the virus because baby, you are getting me all hot and bothered. 17.) Is it hot in here or is it just our fevers and shortness of breath? Hand sanitizer humor 18.) You smell so good, is that Purell® you’re wearing? 19.) Are you hand sanitizer? Because I want you all over me. 20.) Sanitize me harder. 21.) Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just happy to be within six feet of me? 22.) Hey baby, I’ve got toilet paper and hand sanitizer back at my place. Social media 23.) I saw you liked and retweeted my tweet, so this is getting pretty serious huh? 24.) FaceTime and chill? Funny quarantine pick up lines 25.) You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t”. 26.) I wish I knew how to quarantine you. 27.) You’re the one that I want To be quarantined with… 28.) If you need someone to self-isolate with I make a mean Quarantini. Mask and toilet paper themes 29.) I have toilet paper. 30.) That mask brings out the beauty in your eyes. 31.) Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin. 32.) You won’t find a guy with a better respirator mask than me. Social distancing pick up lines from romantic movies 33.) You had me at a 64 oz tub of aloe-based hand sanitizer. – Jerry Maguire movie line, Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger 33.) I will stand in front of your house with my emergency radio from the ’80s until you are out of quarantine, babe. – Say Anything scene with John Cusack 34.) I’ll have what she’s having! For delivery… And please leave it at my doorstep thank you so much. – When Harry Met Sally movie line, Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal 35.) Here’s looking at you from the mandatory 8-foot parameter, kid. – Casablanca movie quote, Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman 36.) You know how to whistle, don’t ya? You just put your lips together & blow into this test kit. I should have the results back next Tuesday. – To Have and Have Not movie line, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall 37.) I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking him to maybe move back another foot. Thanks. – Notting Hill movie quote, Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant More romantic social distancing pick up lines… 38.) Hey babe! Can I ship you a drink? 39.) I’d jump in front of a sneeze for you. 40.) Baby, you must be pneumonia, because you’re taking my breath away. 41.) You can’t spell virus without U and I. 42.) So you would touch me with a ten-foot pole? 43.) Would you like to wipe down any of my surfaces? 44.) I’m the only thing still on the shelf these days. 45.) Are you looking for a naughty girl? Because I only washed my hands for 19 seconds. 46.) We can have our happily hoarding ever after… #37 for the win! 😂 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 6, 2020 On 4/22/2020 at 7:23 PM, Laci French said: On 4/22/2020 at 8:04 PM, ilovewomen said: Your last post didn’t post The post posted just nothing to see in the posted post...... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 6, 2020 On 6/4/2020 at 7:36 PM, Laci French said: If she refuses to swallow, put it on a spoon and make airplane noises. Alice SW in Wonderland 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 1, 2020 Ladies. You must remember to use this one ... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) @Rick_A Groan 🥺😳 (aside) Get the hook Edited July 16, 2020 by Bit Banger 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
