oldertruckguy-9225

Adventures in on-line dating

16 posts in this topic

 I am curious if any of you guys, or ladies have had any luck with on-line dating. Or maybe have a great story to share. I joined a well know online dating service two years ago. My subscription is up Dec 3rd this year. Surprise!!, my inbox is now overflowing with dozens of messages and winks from "new" members who have read my profile and are excited to meet me!!. I need to renew in order to take full advantage of these new opportunities!!! I am not renewing.  Honestly, I did meet some very nice ladies. Ladies I enjoyed going out with and had real fun with. Still have a great hiking buddy out of the deal. I even scored a handful of times. But for me the overall experience has been disappointing and frustrating. Usually the first three or four dates were fine. But then, with so many of the ladies, along about the fifth or sixth date, the tenor of the things drastically changed. Suddenly I was expected to start talking commitment with her and discussing future plans. Suddenly it wasn't just dating or getting to know someone and having fun. She wanted to know "were are we going from here?"  She wanted to know if I was serious about this?  I so often experienced that if I wasn't willing to engage in that conversation or if I suggested to her that we take a little more time to get to know one another, we were done. No matter how well things had gone before that.  I was amazed, still am, that several really nice ladies, professional career ordinated ladies  wanted me to meet their adult children, other family members after just a month of dating.  Sometimes even less time then that. One lady ask me for a loan. One lady ask me to help her retrieve some clothes and personal items from her x's house. We hadn't even had a "date" yet, just coffee. I dated a lady I really, really liked only to discover she was married. Her whole profile was a lie. That one stung for a while. Anyway, just thought it might be fun to share stories.

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30 minutes ago, fred1964 said:

90% online is a scam:lol:

Agree

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I missed the boat of online dating but have several friends who are with partners they met online.  They used the well-known site that is used to start fires...

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58 minutes ago, oldertruckguy-9225 said:

 But then, with so many of the ladies, along about the fifth or sixth date, the tenor of the things drastically changed. Suddenly I was expected to start talking commitment with her and discussing future plans. Suddenly it wasn't just dating or getting to know someone and having fun. She wanted to know "were are we going from here?"  She wanted to know if I was serious about this? 

Take their desire for an LTR as a compliment. They want to be married to you! They think you're a catch!

One lady ask me for a loan. One lady ask me to help her retrieve some clothes and personal items from her x's house. We hadn't even had a "date" yet, just coffee.

Scammers, unfortunately. Kinda like the guys who short ladies.

I dated a lady I really, really liked only to discover she was married. Her whole profile was a lie. That one stung for a while.

Reminds of my married friends who try to pick up women in bars.

Unfortunately, for me, I've met a very few women, whom I like, but the feeling wasn't mutual. I'll keep looking! ;)

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I joined on for a month a few years ago. Shortly after I let the subscription lapse (due to relocation & general lack of interest), the CC I used started seeing charges from Uber in Rands (S.Africa). But one of the first false charges was from a sister site.  Took me months to get everything sorted out 😤🤬😤

Needless to say, I’ve not ventured back into those shark infested waters.

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I am done with the online scene. Part of my problem was thinking I needed a special someone to make me whole. I have come to realize that is not the case. Sure, I would like to find a someone special but I will be OK if I don't. 

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I personally haven't had much luck with online dating. Everyone interested is a zillion miles away. (or maybe the the scam part). I will say this, I have two friends who met their now wifes online. Both couples seem very happy and just passed 5 years married.  So..... I guess it can work??

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3 hours ago, inkspot said:

Have you tried Bumble?  Women make the first contact.

Not if the profile has a picture of me in it. :D

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Tried it for a few years, with close to O luck. Extremely low quality women across the board: liars, dissimulators, whiny bitches, who spent the entire date complaining about their exes, women who forget to tell you that they are actually separated and not divorced, women who show up 20 pounds heavier than in their pics, women in their 40s who still live with roommates,  I could go on and on. 

As a black guy using standard dating websites, my experiences pretty much match these statistics:

https://theblog.okcupid.com/race-and-attraction-2009-2014-107dcbb4f060

Specifically, 

1. Mostly got contacted/received a reply from white women who wanted that black chocolate stick, or who had a profile that said "white boys need not apply."
Contacting white women in my demographics (age, employment, education, etc.) yielded 0 responses. Also, got contacted by white women with mixed-race kids from black deadbeat dads. 

2. Contacting Asian women: 0 responses

3. Contacting Latin women: 0 responses - exception: hood type girls, with mixed-race kids from black deadbeat dads

4. It pains me to say this, but the quality of black women on these sites was especially low: ratchet women who listed "Housewives of Atlanta" as their favorite show,  materialistic bullshit, assorted array of single black mothers, etc. 

I had better luck on CL's "Casual Encounters" - hope they bring it back someday......

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Truth is, nobody is going to have much "luck" with online dating. Like choosing a provider, it takes research, screening, and work, only more so. Many women who are serious about meeting a partner use the convenience and "insulation" of the online dating services. Most get free memberships since the hunnies are the honey that attracts the males and their membership fees. Naturally, all this also attracts scammers, women with problems, and other less desirable people also. You just have to weed through them. You have to initiate contacts. You just have to work at it to find good choices...just like choosing a provider.

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Nothing but miserable waste of time and money has been my experience.  I have attempted contact via pm to many age appropriate women who seem sane from profiles.  Net results

  • one and only one has bothered to respond to my messages. set a tentative time to meet.  Then she deleted her account so I could not confirm her suggested location to meet.  Then day we were to meet she flames me with "where are you?"  (And she re-opened account just to flame me????  And some here claim some escorts are BSC!!)
  • Two sent me "would like to meet" messages, then ignored any and all attempts to communicate.
  • Untold number that are too self centered, picky, impolite, whatever the hell (hey, I thought you were here to meet someone!!) to simply respond to a polite and pleasant "would be very interested in learning more and/or meeting you" message.  A simple reply even if a "no, I don't think we would match up well" would be far better than just ignore totally.  Couple even BLOCKED my profile after one perfectly polite and friendly inquiry.
  • Half a dozen thinly veiled offers from much younger-than-profile-claimed escorts - in other states.  My how helpful.

So, yes, I would still like a committed relationship with an honest, real lady with a sincere and kind heart (hot body doesn't hurt either) age optional but preferably within shouting distance of my own.  But in the meantime the choices appear very limited (non-existent) so I guess I will continue making do by having amazing and delightful experiences with incredible ladies one "transactional" hour at a time.  Many of the escorts I have met are truly the most caring, kind- hearted, decent and loving ladies I have ever met.  For some reason I connect with them much better than the general population.  So an hour or two a week at a time is fantastic, the rest appear destined to be kinda lonely.

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2 hours ago, gr8owl said:

Nothing but miserable waste of time and money has been my experience.  I have attempted contact via pm to many age appropriate women who seem sane from profiles.  Net results

  • one and only one has bothered to respond to my messages. set a tentative time to meet.  Then she deleted her account so I could not confirm her suggested location to meet.  Then day we were to meet she flames me with "where are you?"  (And she re-opened account just to flame me????  And some here claim some escorts are BSC!!)
  • Two sent me "would like to meet" messages, then ignored any and all attempts to communicate.
  • Untold number that are too self centered, picky, impolite, whatever the hell (hey, I thought you were here to meet someone!!) to simply respond to a polite and pleasant "would be very interested in learning more and/or meeting you" message.  A simple reply even if a "no, I don't think we would match up well" would be far better than just ignore totally.  Couple even BLOCKED my profile after one perfectly polite and friendly inquiry.
  • Half a dozen thinly veiled offers from much younger-than-profile-claimed escorts - in other states.  My how helpful.

So, yes, I would still like a committed relationship with an honest, real lady with a sincere and kind heart (hot body doesn't hurt either) age optional but preferably within shouting distance of my own.  But in the meantime the choices appear very limited (non-existent) so I guess I will continue making do by having amazing and delightful experiences with incredible ladies one "transactional" hour at a time.  Many of the escorts I have met are truly the most caring, kind- hearted, decent and loving ladies I have ever met.  For some reason I connect with them much better than the general population.  So an hour or two a week at a time is fantastic, the rest appear destined to be kinda lonely.

I quoted this because I was going to write a reply...but this is pretty much word for word what I was going to write.

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5 hours ago, gr8owl said:

So, yes, I would still like a committed relationship with an honest, real lady with a sincere and kind heart (hot body doesn't hurt either) age optional but preferably within shouting distance of my own. 

You have a better chance of meeting two unicorns grazing in a field of four-leafed clovers.;)

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4 hours ago, Keyser said:

I quoted this because I was going to write a reply...but this is pretty much word for word what I was going to write.

oops wrong botton.  How the hell do you un-quote heehee?

 

6 hours ago, gr8owl said:

choices appear very limited (non-existent) 

1 hour ago, 2Big said:

You have a better chance of meeting two unicorns grazing in a field of four-leafed clovers.;)

HA!  You are probably correct and we essentially said the same thing but thanks for trying to be so encouraging LMAO.  TWO unicorns!!  Good one, but damn, dude - did someone river dance on your heart in your formative years.?!?!

 

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