hornyoldtoad

What would your ad say fellahs?

65 posts in this topic

15 hours ago, Desperado said:

Recently confident lover willing to exchange newfound knowledge for tangible consideration. From your brow to your toes no area will be neglected.  Whisper your desire and it will be accomplished with a loving “As you wish”.  Command and it is yours. Submit and it is ours. Your pleasure is my command.  See you soon beautiful.  I patiently awake your courtship entreaty. Conditions below:

No time wasters. No QV. Don’t even think about texting if we haven’t met. I don’t date girls named Ashley. I dare you to NCNS and if you do I will hunt you down like the rat you are. I don’t blacklist, I deathlist.  Bring cash (non sequential bills preferred). If you’re late, Fuck You.  If you’re early, Fuck You. If you’re on time, That’s Cool.  If you’re wondering if “I do”,  I don’t.  Stay in your lane and we’ll have a great time otherwise we will have a shitty time and I don’t do refunds. Write a bad review at your peril. Call me!!!!!

 

Dude, you definitely have issues. And I love it. I think I peed my pants.:D

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Website??? Well hell, no wonder I'm getting any calls.

4 hours ago, goodguy69 said:

Did you not read our websites for contact information😂😂😂😂

 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

True Whipped Boyfriend experience.

Out calls only, light screening required. Newbie friendly.

I will bring dinner over, listen to how your day was, smile and nod as if I knew what you where you talking about. I will give you my few remaining dollars so you can put gas in your car, pleasure you based on your directions, then when you are done with me, dumping me for another male provider, I will take your trash out as I leave.

Rates are negotiable.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Now accepting applications for Partner in Crime.

Must be fluent in smart ass sarcasm, adult language, questionable morals and nudity may be required.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, goodguy69 said:

After looking at the reputable people you have seen i think we are ok on screening, give me a call and we can set something up😁😁

There is this one guy.  He's a pretty "good guy". 😀

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Nina Faulkner said:

There is this one guy.  He's a pretty "good guy". 😀

He spoke highly of you.😊

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can be anything your body desires and won't mess with your mind!!!!  Fantastic reviews.    1* outcalls and incalls no problem.  Car dates also upon request.  Have gorgeous 1774 pinto.  Know most of the Kama Sutra .  If its not me its free!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Nina Faulkner said:

To ALL the gentlemen in this thread I ask:

U Available??

I'm booked solid through Friday and I'm taking the weekend off but I'm available on Monday if you pass screening. I require the FULL $5 fee in advance, pictures, a blood sample, and finger prints. don't forget to ask about my reviewer special and my doubles special with Tide32 only $7 for the full hour. :D 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, Desperado said:

Recently confident lover willing to exchange newfound knowledge for tangible consideration. From your brow to your toes no area will be neglected.  Whisper your desire and it will be accomplished with a loving “As you wish”.  Command and it is yours. Submit and it is ours. Your pleasure is my command.  See you soon beautiful.  I patiently awake your courtship entreaty. Conditions below:

No time wasters. No QV. Don’t even think about texting if we haven’t met. I don’t date girls named Ashley. I dare you to NCNS and if you do I will hunt you down like the rat you are. I don’t blacklist, I deathlist.  Bring cash (non sequential bills preferred). If you’re late, Fuck You.  If you’re early, Fuck You. If you’re on time, That’s Cool.  If you’re wondering if “I do”,  I don’t.  Stay in your lane and we’ll have a great time otherwise we will have a shitty time and I don’t do refunds. Write a bad review at your peril. Call me!!!!!

 

Omg this is fantastic. Please write my next bio 🤣🙏

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, boink36 said:

I'm booked solid through Friday and I'm taking the weekend off but I'm available on Monday if you pass screening. I require the FULL $5 fee in advance, pictures, a blood sample, and finger prints. don't forget to ask about my reviewer special and my doubles special with Tide32 only $7 for the full hour. :D 

What the hell are we gonna doo for the other 57 minutes.:eek:

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, tide32 said:

What the hell are we gonna doo for the other 57 minutes.:eek:

You’re going to talk and get to know each other and make that connection.🤣🤣

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

You’re going to talk and get to know each other and make that connection.🤣🤣

That shit it totally over rated.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

TOP TEN, WHY YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEE ME

10.  Naturally not GFE but my handle is very close to that

9.  no belly fat--just fit--then transfers to libido where it makes a difference

8.  proper brain dopamine--a good balance--can rise to the occasion

7.  Most have said I look considerably younger than my age--and just get better with age--like a good wine.  Hair on my head is still all there, over the years seems to have changed in color but hey--still an earth tone

6.  never a dull moment--can keep up with the best of them--called stamina

5.  I try to have a sense of humor at all times for a good balance that makes everything flow

4.  google:  size matters--but maybe not for everyone--then why have they been saying--I want to mold it--want to take it home with me--well--you describe your dimensions

3.  I feel fulfilled when I'm told--I wish I could give you 3 OKs or you are more than OK

2.  I want to make sure you have a good time

1.  I may be just plain fun!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, tide32 said:

What the hell are we gonna doo for the other 57 minutes.:eek:

I can find some things for you to doo.........hehehe

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, boink36 said:

I'm booked solid through Friday and I'm taking the weekend off but I'm available on Monday if you pass screening. I require the FULL $5 fee in advance, pictures, a blood sample, and finger prints. don't forget to ask about my reviewer special and my doubles special with Tide32 only $7 for the full hour. :D 

I only have $5.  Can I still get the double??

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Just Jos said:

Omg this is fantastic. Please write my next bio 🤣🙏

Definitely!  PM me.  We’ll make that next bio SING!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Nina Faulkner said:

I only have $5.  Can I still get the double??

Asking for a discount already huh, you must have read Tide's reviews. :D

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hey ladies, you need a full bfe?  i have the dad bod you crave...please text no calls no email.   Include 5 references in first contact or you will be ignored.   Pics are me or it's free!   Outcalls only....$!@!@# outcall fee.

check my 2 hour special!   Book a 2 hour visit and I will throw in an additional hour cleaning your house!    no newbies...love yas!!!!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, boink36 said:

Asking for a discount already huh, you must have read Tide's reviews. :D

Trust me. Lies, all lies. :D

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

See Boink, told ya we would find a suc-------wise and beautiful lady.:D

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

43 y/o Handsome Black Male that comes equipped with 9” of BBC. I’m available from 9 am to 5 pm. I offer numerous packages and options. I am D&D free, you should be as well!

I enjoy nice quiet evenings with long strolls in the park or I can switch it up and be that Dom you know deep down you want!

Pics are me, No catfish here! 

 

😆😆😆😆

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A “Hot rod” for you!  Text me now at 000-000-000. I’ll cum to you, right on time every time. Want FBSM. I’m the best! My hands in hot warm oils stoking gently over  every inch  of your body. You’ll love it. (CMT) Or how about some handcuffs, strapping you to the bed while I pleasure you. Want to play Doctor/patient? My exam will leave you speechless. Text me now as I only have two openings remaining this week. Photos are current. 

Mr Dick Hard

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/21/2018 at 10:54 AM, Nina Faulkner said:

I only have $5.  Can I still get the double??

Hey girl, can you ask if we can split the $5.00 for the doubles, I only have $2.50.  

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/22/2018 at 3:57 AM, Rude_Boi75 said:

43 y/o Handsome Black Male that comes equipped with 9” of BBC. I’m available from 9 am to 5 pm, at three minute intervals. I offer numerous packages and options. I am D&D free, you should be as well!

I enjoy nice quiet evenings with long strolls in the park or I can switch it up and be that Dom you know deep down you want!

Pics are me, No catfish here! 

 

😆😆😆😆

Fixed it. ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bored want to get a little crazy? Than cuddle and have a relaxing time? Then come check out this 6'5 225 guy... Best part it's free! Yes that's right. 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/19/2018 at 7:55 PM, boink36 said:

Ladies, is there something missing from your life but you can't quite put your finger on what. well I can put my finger on it and even show it to you. :D give me a call and let me show you what you have been missing. Private showings by appointment only, public showings can be spontaneous and yes I do have a trench coat. :D

Oh Boink80xs your ad would say

”GONE FISHIN”

quit posin

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ladies are you looking for the man of your dreams then look no further I’m it …  I will fulfill your greatest fantasy.  I will come to you … when I arrive I will be bringing flowers, wine and chocolates for you. I will take you straight to the bathroom and draw you a warm bubble bath, light candles, turn on soft relaxing music … slowly help you undress and get into the tub… once you are in the tub I will sit there quietly listening to your every word … (not offering any advice or ways to solve your problems just listen attentively) after you have told me everything your heart desires. I will had you ether a book to read or a IPad to do on line shopping and I will exit the bathroom to clean your house cook your meal and do your laundry … after all you’re a women and you can have sex anytime with any one you want but when was the last time you had a man listen to you and do all the crazy work you have to do … now that is a fantasy come true…     

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.