Ghosting practice

[Guest]

We, as hobbyist types, are encouraged to post reviews which effectively “out” our ladies when they don’t show up for scheduled appointments (NCNS). It is also rumored that our ladies have established blacklists in order to make known those of us gents who NSNC and for even those of us who offer other, more unsavory behaviors.

My question is about ghosting, though. This, for me, is one of the most frustrating aspects of our lifestyle. On more occasions than I can remember, I inquire, I offer my references, I get preliminary responses suggesting the possibility of an appointment and then, the line goes dead. More often, however, I provide all the requested information and nothing is communicated in response. So, should we all have a way to submit reputation to those who advertise on the Board and ignore legitimate responses? I would love to know who is known for ghosting inquiries. This defines time wasters to me!

[Guest]

From conversations I've had with provider friends, from their side of the table this can be a consuming business.  Post your ad, weed through dozens if not more texts trying to determine who sounds promising to see, respond to texts and e-mails, screen, set appointments, hope that clients don't cancel or NCNS, give attention to regulars that can be needy, try to weave your life around all the above.  I don't know how they do it and stay sane.  Unfortunately texts and e-mails get buried in the new texts and e-mails.  I had reached out to a provider via text and e-mail.  I figured it was how I introduced myself or perhaps she didn't like reviews I'd done or other providers I'd seen.  I decided to PM her here, and had a response within the hour.  Maybe it's like standby seats on a plane, you just have to hit the right moment until you've seen a provider long enough.  Even then because of the familiarity factor I've been rescheduled because I'm a known quantity.  I have let providers I see know that I'm okay with that, but when it happens you still have to wonder how you factor into their business model.  The reality is probably most of the providers don't have a business model, it's a wing and a prayer, one day or even one hour at a time.  I'm with you on the ghosting, but a much wiser member of the board told me that you just move on to your next option, it's not worth the brain damage to try and figure out how or why!

[pfunk]

32 minutes ago, LightningP said:

My question is about ghosting, though. This, for me, is one of the most frustrating aspects of our lifestyle. On more occasions than I can remember, I inquire, I offer my references, I get preliminary responses suggesting the possibility of an appointment and then, the line goes dead. More often, however, I provide all the requested information and nothing is communicated in response. So, should we all have a way to submit reputation to those who advertise on the Board and ignore legitimate responses? I would love to know who is known for ghosting inquiries. This defines time wasters to me!

I don't think I've ever experienced this...

If I inquire, using her preferred method, about scheduling an appt, I always receive a response. It may be delayed, or not the response I'm hoping for, but I always get some response, eventually. 

Are you requesting an appointment, with suggested/preferred dates and times? 

[goodguy69]

Just now, mountainrider33 said:

+1  Same, I've never had that happen after I've submitted references.

Ditto

[inkspot]

Sadly this happens more often than you would expect. As others mention, providers must weed through lots of emails.

I send an email with the heading “ APPOINTMENT REQUESTED” when ready to book. This gets their attention. I found this to be successful in getting a response.

[Just Another Guy]

50 minutes ago, pfunk said:

I don't think I've ever experienced this...

If I inquire, using her preferred method, about scheduling an appt, I always receive a response. It may be delayed, or not the response I'm hoping for, but I always get some response, eventually. 

Are you requesting an appointment, with suggested/preferred dates and times? 

I've had it happen. We had exchanged several texts (the providers preferred method), and had set up a time to meet, but not yet a location (which seems to be somewhat normal). About an hour prior to the arranged time, I asked - and several more times -  for where to meet, and was ghosted. Infuriating. And, since everything but the location was set, I was told I couldn't do NCNS review, which I think is horseshit, but I don't run this board, so...

Otherwise, I've had a few instances of doing the initial contact (with my TOB name, an offer to send whatever references they need etc), and simply never got an reply. I chalk those up to being busy.

Edited November 17, 2018 by Just Another Guy

[inkspot]

14 minutes ago, Just Another Guy said:

I've had it happen. We had exchanged several texts (the providers preferred method), and had set up a time to meet, but not yet a location (which seems to be somewhat normal). About an hour prior to the arranged time, I asked - and several more times -  for where to meet, and was ghosted. Infuriating. And, since everything but the location was set, I was told I couldn't do NCNS review, which I think is horseshit, but I don't run this board, so...

Otherwise, I've had a few instances of doing the initial contact (with my TOB name, an offer to send whatever references they need etc), and simply never got an reply. I chalk those up to being busy.

Yup. This sux.

[Audrey Astor]

Oh gosh, you’re so right in that this behavior is so annoying and rude. We get it all day too. We offer up times we can meet, what we need to meet,etc. Then nothing.... it’s like look buddy, you contacted me, I didn’t call you 🙄 Ugh

[Joanna Jaxxx]

I understand the frustration but if a lady doesn’t respond to you, simply move on.

Ghosting is when you’re on the way to said appointment or waiting in the parking lot and not getting a response. At that point you’ve been “ghosted”. At least that’s what I thought it meant. 

I think some forget that we get to decide whom we want to schedule with regardless of references. I have not seen guys simply bc they wrote vulgar reviews on other providers. I don’t want to see someone like that no matter how many references they have. He may think I’m “ghosting” but it’s not if I never set an appointment with him. Maybe I’m wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

[pfunk]

3 hours ago, SophiaDeLaRue said:

 He may think I’m “ghosting” but it’s not if I never set an appointment with him. Maybe I’m wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

You're not wrong. 

[Winston_Smith]

I dunno, i tend to think that if you contact a lady, have some prelim conversations on scheduling dates, times, etc.  and then she stops communicating, you've (I've) been ghosted.

Lately I am 0 for 3 via P411 being "ghosted", all ladies that are known on the board, not frequent posters tho.     Not all attempts fit the above definition of "ghosted"...had convo's with one on appt.  dates / times then she went dark...another viewed my p411 profile with no response...even with a TOB follow up message which was read.    Last attempt had no response at all. 

I follow the "TOB"  protocol on contacting...polite, respectful, no "u avail"  stuff...always use P411 and typically only approach ladies that are listed with them.   I understand the OP's frustration...and often wonder why no response after convo's or P411 profile views...even if it's a "No thanks".     I don't, however, get agitated and lose sleep over this .   

[airamericavet65]

This does happen even with p411 just move on to the next possibility

[oldertruckguy-9225]

On a few occasions I have allowed myself to get caught up in the frustration and disappointment of not receiving a timely response or receiving no response from a young lady I contacted for an appointment. For my own sanity I have worked hard on patience. I have reminded myself to keep her perspective in the entire process. I have asked a couple of ladies on the board for suggestions on how to better my request, to make it easier for them to decide yes or no. I have taken their suggestion to heart. I admit I still sometimes take it personally when I do not receive what I consider a timely  response but I also, now, have a much better appreciation for the fact that it is often just the nature of the beast. If I am patient, courteous and respectful and play by their rules I have found that I will claim my prize sooner then later.

[ilovewomen]

To the OP, please remember that the ladies here have a life outside of the hobby.  They are also very busy dealing with life inside of the hobby.  They have to deal with the guys who are time wasters, who only want to talk and don’t have any intention of setting an appointment. They also deal with guys who only want to degrade them.

It’s very possible that you sent yout references, they have viewed your profile and they found something that makes them think that the 2 of you are incompatible. So instead of replying to you and saying they are busy, they don’t have an interest in seeing you (they do have that perogative), they just don’t reply to you.

it doesn’t mean they are time wasters. They have chosen not to see you. You can’t blacklist them for that. You shouldn’t communicate to others they are time wasters...because they aren’t wasting your time if they don’t reply to you.

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

8 hours ago, Audrey Astor said:

Oh gosh, you’re so right in that this behavior is so annoying and rude. We get it all day too. We offer up times we can meet, what we need to meet,etc. Then nothing.... it’s like look buddy, you contacted me, I didn’t call you 🙄 Ugh

This morning by a very well referenced client on TOB not even a message to me...very upsetting 😟 I am with Audrey 💯% 

[Admiral C]

Talking semantics, I think I will call what the O.P. referred to as the provider "going dark" rather than "ghosting". In this venue, I agree "ghosting" is a NCNS on a set meeting. I also agree that when a lady goes dark on you, just move on and call someone else. You will never know why she did it, nor SHOULD you know. There are an endless number of possible reasons encompassing health, time, compatibility, past experiences, sudden events and a whole lot more....some innocent, some not so much. In truth, we don't really have a right to know, and often may not want to know. I will use myself and give two examples. I had a lady go dark many years ago and later found out that she contacted another provider I had seen. She learned that I enjoyed long untranslated 69 sessions and went dark because when she did that it would create...how shall I say...bladder control issues?  Even longer ago I had a lady I REALLY wanted to see for a long time and we were going to set an exact appointment after the weekend. She went dark because as I later learned...she had died. Would it have been right for me to call them time wasters? Neither lady owed me an explanation, and one would not have wanted to explain all that, and the other could not have explained. End of day, every lady has the right to refuse, or go dark even if the reason is "just because".

[pfunk]

1 hour ago, ilovewomen said:

it doesn’t mean they are time wasters. They have chosen not to see you. You can’t blacklist them for that. You shouldn’t communicate to others they are time wasters...because they aren’t wasting your time if they don’t reply to you.

Stated perfectly.^^^

Also, there a more crazy stalker clients than you suspect. These guys will use any excuse (a "no thanks" reply for example) to start threatening behaviour.

[Just Another Guy]

4 hours ago, Winston_Smith said:

I dunno, i tend to think that if you contact a lady, have some prelim conversations on scheduling dates, times, etc.  and then she stops communicating, you've (I've) been ghosted.

That was kinda my point about being what I call "ghosted". Everything was set up except the location (date, time, etc) and many ladies wait until just prior to the meeting time to tell you were to go. If you've got that all set and then prior to the meeting she doesn't answer you to tell you where, that's ghosting.

As for "just moving on", in a situation like this where you've scheduled things around the rendezvous, there isn't always time to arrange something else to fit that time frame. 

To be clear, this is not the same as making an initial contact to try to set something up, and not getting an answer. That's definitely just business and "move on" time. 

Edited November 17, 2018 by Just Another Guy

[ilovewomen]

3 hours ago, pfunk said:

Stated perfectly.^^^

Also, there a more crazy stalker clients than you suspect. These guys will use any excuse (a "no thanks" reply for example) to start threatening behaviour.

Pfunk, spot on.

Some guys get butt hurt so easy.  Other guys have no respect for the ladies and if the ladies don’t respond to them or refuse to see them or heaven forbid remind them they are contacting said lady at 2am and to try  back at a normal time, these guys go off and start calling them every foul name their feeble minds can think of, start threatening a bad review or even violence.

Right now, since the OP thinks there should be a way to list ladies who don’t respond to him or quit responding to him (before an appointment is agreed upon), I’m putting him in the “ladies, watch out for this one” category. He may be okay, but his thread has me leaning the other way.

[Winston_Smith]

9 hours ago, airamericavet65 said:

This does happen even with p411 just move on to the next possibility

Yup it does and I did 😎

[Natalie Marie]

I m not sure where to post or how to but I have been experiencing the same thing with giving a few newbies a chance and they show up and say they are knocking and that I don’t answer and sending me pictures of my room but they are no where to be found!!  I recently found this is the same person who is stuffing envelopes with $5 one dollar bills and hoping us providers don’t check I have heard this happen to 3 or 4 other providers in the last two weeks.  Seems he is targeting new girls.

Edited November 19, 2018 by Natalie Marie
Mis spelling

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

On 11/18/2018 at 11:50 PM, Natalie Marie said:

I m not sure where to post or how to but I have been experiencing the same thing with giving a few newbies a chance and they show up and say they are knocking and that I don’t answer and sending me pictures of my room but they are no where to be found!!  I recently found this is the same person who is stuffing envelopes with $5 one dollar bills and hoping us providers don’t check I have heard this happen to 3 or 4 other providers in the last two weeks.  Seems he is targeting new girls.

Yes we need to remember to try and stay on our game! Sexy Fran had some empty envelopes in the past. I have been ripped off too in the past! Sorry for your pain! Let’s stay diligent ladies! Even when we are nervous and it’s someone new. Yes let’s do our best to stay on top of ourselves with safety and always checking what’s inside and what’s given to us. I think Goggle Chrome can take a pictures of locations without being there too! I am sorry! We all have experienced a great deal!💕

Edited November 21, 2018 by Kali Sensual Reiki

[Kali Sensual Reiki]

32 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Yes we need to remember to try and stay on our game! Sexy Fran had some empty envelopes in the past. I have been ripped off too in the past! Sorry for your pain! Let’s stay diligent ladies! Even when we are nervous and it’s someone new. Yes let’s do our best to stay on top of ourselves with safety and always checking what’s inside and what’s given to us. I think Goggle Chrome can take a pictures of locations without being there too! I am sorry! We all have experienced a great deal!💕

Screen and screen again! Ask for a reference and make sure you fallow through with contacting that lady too if need be. If he gets sketchy on you? Chances are he’s up to no good! Many of these guys feel that they’re entitled to call the shots when in reality it’s your business and they need to fallow your rules as well as protocol 

[Just Another Guy]

On 11/18/2018 at 11:50 PM, Natalie Marie said:

I m not sure where to post or how to but I have been experiencing the same thing with giving a few newbies a chance and they show up and say they are knocking and that I don’t answer and sending me pictures of my room but they are no where to be found!!  I recently found this is the same person who is stuffing envelopes with $5 one dollar bills and hoping us providers don’t check I have heard this happen to 3 or 4 other providers in the last two weeks.  Seems he is targeting new girls.

This is wrong on so many levels...violating your trust, abusive behavior, cheating out of hard earned $$$.  Please ladies, blacklist these jerks and drive them away.