mdallasfun

Ex-Lover turns Provider

17 posts in this topic

So I recently discovered that a somewhat recent lover of mine has become a provider. She was a much younger girl that I met on a kink website and we engaged in a very passive 6 month tryst. We had lots of fun and connected on an emotional level. We did some kinky things but I never shared with her my involvement in the hobby. She moved away from the town I lived in and after a few visits lost touch for a while. We had a short reunion 7 months ago that consisted of a random ffm 3-some but again fell out of touch when she started going down the “sugar-daddy” route. I think she felt judged by me but I was just jealous that she was sleeping with men that held her attention with money where I kept her attention with passion. Months later I ran across her pics and profile on another provider board. I texted her old number asking if she’s ok but she hasn’t responded. I want to contact her and tell her about my involvement in the hobby - not to get with her, but for her to know that I don’t judge her and am involved on the other side myself. To tell her an old friend can be someone to trust and talk to about this hobby. I provide an insight of the hobbyist. Maybe that could help. I guess I just want her back in my life in some way. No one knows about this side of me and she knows something of my sexuality but not this part. Could use a friend to talk to about it. What do you think? Should I contact her and let her know about what I do? Not sure but could use different opinions. 

Thanks

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   Sometimes reaching out works....sometimes reaching out backfires. Up to you to roll the dice.

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3 minutes ago, JRWolfe said:

   Sometimes reaching out works....sometimes reaching out backfires. Up to you to roll the dice.

I'd roll the dice after all who doesn't enjoy the rush and excitement this hobby brings once in awhile 

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It sounds like you have a need to make contac for the reasons you stated as well as to be there as a friend.  Of course, if you reveal that you engage in the hobby it will, in and of itself, demonstrate your nonjudgmental position without your having to say so.

Reaching out is a good thing, even if you do not get the response you might expect.  At least the ball would be in her court, after which, it would seem that your struggle regarding whether or not to initiate contact would be over.

Personally, I don't see what harm it could do.  Good luck! 

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41 minutes ago, JRWolfe said:

   Sometimes reaching out works....sometimes reaching out backfires. Up to you to roll the dice.

Don't ask "what's on the menu" till later. :D

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You say you contacted her and it sounds like she hasn’t responded.  I hate to say it, but I think she wants to leave the past in the past.

Probably best if you don’t contact her again. She may respond in a manner that both of you will regret.

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1 hour ago, Laci French said:

I think you should leave this alone and even ask mods to delete this thread. 

If she wanted to stay in touch with you it would have happened. Don’t mean to sound cold, just being honest. 

She has obviously let go and you should do the same. 

I agree.... I do not think she needs any friends, she needs clients.  If you want to be a good client call on her ad site, not as a friend. No Free sex.

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1 hour ago, Laci French said:

I think you should leave this alone and even ask mods to delete this thread. 

If she wanted to stay in touch with you it would have happened. Don’t mean to sound cold, just being honest. 

She has obviously let go and you should do the same. 

Let it go. Keep all of what you had a pleasant memory. Don't see a need to risk that. Lots of pain and unnecessary drama just waiting to boil out of this.  

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Always weird when someone of the past, especially outside of the hobby contacts you regarding this hobby. I would let it go too unless she notices you and reaches out herself. Could make her feel like her discretion is at risk 

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You said you texted her...she didn't respond.  Don't push the issue. if she wanted to connect with you- she would or she would have. It may be hard to hear...but time to move on...

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I know I'm usually a romantic one, but not in this case. She's moved on. You should probably move on too. Hobby life for providers, and clients are completely different.  I've tried going back in time with the same person and trying something new. It always ended in disaster...and that's just real world shit. Throw in hobby world shit and OMG.  Just my 2 cents. Wish her well, and let it go. 

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I'll be the honest on here. You're going to do what you want to do. What we say, doesn't mean shit. I have two sons and no matter what I say, they walk a different path. It's just a fact.
It's totally on you and your the only one to blame for your future.

Man up and decide. It's your life.

 

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On 11/8/2018 at 6:59 PM, Raine-7379 said:

I agree.... I do not think she needs any friends, she needs clients.  If you want to be a good client call on her ad site, not as a friend. No Free sex.

Id erase this ... oops

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On 11/8/2018 at 6:59 PM, Raine-7379 said:

I agree.... I do not think she needs any friends, she needs clients.  If you want to be a good client call on her ad site, not as a friend. No Free sex.

Totally agree too! Never mix your swinger world with the Hobby  world! Both are very different perspectives and people end up hurt and embarrassed! 

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We can only speculate and give you our opinions. Take all the opinions and your own intution regarding this girl. You know her better than any of us. After your own careful analysis, do what you think is right. 

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