Rolf

New friendships

51 posts in this topic

Hi I'm Derrick I'm new to tob and I haven't been on here long I understand that people have to make money getting by .but I just want to know if I was trying to ref,s to see other people on and I promise to ask her first  and some how but something goes wrong and she goes back to business like we where never friends have I've done something wrong ????

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m not exactly sure what your question is...can you elaborate?  

 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
52 minutes ago, Rolf said:

Hi I'm Derrick I'm new to tob and I haven't been on here long I understand that people have to make money getting by .but I just want to know if I was trying to ref,s to see other people on and I promise to ask her first  and some how but something goes wrong and she goes back to business like we where never friends have I've done something wrong ????

I sometimes get confused easily, but am unsure what you are asking.  Is it about not being able to get a reference from someone you have previously seen?  Or are you worried that you won't get a reference because she wants you to see only her?   Or is it about blurred lines between friendship and companionship?  

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think what he's asking is this:

 

If I see a SP and we are "friends" and I ask her for a reference to see another lady and she stops acting like my friend and goes back to "business" like when we first met have I made a mistake?

 

At least, that is my translation of male-speak.

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The question is very convoluted my impression is that you are expecting more than a casual relationship. This does not usually happen after only a single encounter. If you are only looking for a reference then simply ask

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I got the impression that he thinks this may be a dating site.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Rolf said:

Hi I'm Derrick I'm new to tob and I haven't been on here long I understand that people have to make money getting by .but I just want to know if I was trying to ref,s to see other people on and I promise to ask her first  and some how but something goes wrong and she goes back to business like we where never friends have I've done something wrong ????

My apologies if I don't get your drift, but if I get it correctly, goes like this.  You have been seeing a lady a lot, possibly exclusively, and at some point you both decided you were something more than simply business.  Gets unclear at that point - friends still involving $, friends no $, heading to boyfriend/girlfriend ...... ???  Then you decide you want to see other ladies and ask her to be your reference for seeing other ladies.  She gets nose bent and says fine, if that is how it is, you are just another client to me, no more whatever the relationship was.  So did you screw up?  Hard to say without more details exactly how bad you screwed up, but yes you did definitely screw up by not being very clear between the two of you exactly what the boundaries and expectations were for your relationship.  No matter what it is you were hoping it was, no matter what she was hoping it was the mistake was not talking it through to make sure her expectations and yours line up.  Unless of course strictly business in which case, no such conversation is necessary.  There is no right or wrong answer for what kind of relationship may develop between lady and john and far be it from me to say what is acceptable.  But I will say as strongly as possible to all - if it is going past strictly biz or you want it to for fuck sake talk it through and both be clear and agree.  Don't assume.  Good luck.  And I would still try to have that conversation with her cause sounds to me as though you really like her.  

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Derrick, can you take a second and clarify the question you have?  I would like to comment my thoughts but I don't really understand what it is you are asking.  This place is great for people giving honest feedback so you'll get plenty of tips and suggestions. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Rolf said:

Hi I'm Derrick I'm new to tob and I haven't been on here long I understand that people have to make money getting by .but I just want to know if I was trying to ref,s to see other people on and I promise to ask her first  and some how but something goes wrong and she goes back to business like we where never friends have I've done something wrong ????

Ok, so you were seeing one "provider A" and now you want to see "providers B-Z" and provider A is not liking that?  Without knowing details could it be that Provider A was developing feelings towards you or somehow felt that she was to be your exclusive provider?  Did you make hints or suggestions that was the case?  Or is the provider just being a little stingy with you?  Regardless, just be upfront and say you want to explore other options.  This works in this world and it SHOULD work in the real dating world as long as you are upfront about intentions from the get go.  Good luck.   

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Rolf said:

Hi I'm Derrick I'm new to tob and I haven't been on here long I understand that people have to make money getting by .but I just want to know if I was trying to ref,s to see other people on and I promise to ask her first  and some how but something goes wrong and she goes back to business like we where never friends have I've done something wrong ????

If I deciphered your question correct, you have asked a lady to give you a reference, then she gave you the cold shoulder. IMO I think she is not happy because you probably will not be seeing her exclusively. Guess I should have read the post above mine. Lol. 

Edited by geecue2
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is why you should review ladies and ask for references on your TOB account. 

It will make things much easier for you Derrick

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Kandi Apple said:

This is why you should review ladies and ask for references on your TOB account. 

It will make things much easier for you Derrick

+1

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi I'm back what the question was  I'm I doing anything wrong with ref,s and getting them by asking the person to see if I could do that ? And again I'm new at this because I never needed ref,s well everything has worked out it's come to find out we were both wrong in the matter it's up to the ladies to either get the ref,s or not !!!!!!!!,but  from my point of view you should always ask first and never assume anything as my mom use to say .but I hope it will never come up again thanks for you input 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 minutes ago, Rolf said:

Hi I'm back what the question was  I'm I doing anything wrong with ref,s and getting them by asking the person to see if I could do that ? And again I'm new at this because I never needed ref,s well everything has worked out it's come to find out we were both wrong in the matter it's up to the ladies to either get the ref,s or not !!!!!!!!,but  from my point of view you should always ask first and never assume anything as my mom use to say .but I hope it will never come up again thanks for you input 

You are new to this world Derrick! Sounds like trouble navigating around this website? Am I right? 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Rolf said:

Hi I'm back what the question was  I'm I doing anything wrong with ref,s and getting them by asking the person to see if I could do that ? And again I'm new at this because I never needed ref,s well everything has worked out it's come to find out we were both wrong in the matter it's up to the ladies to either get the ref,s or not !!!!!!!!,but  from my point of view you should always ask first and never assume anything as my mom use to say .but I hope it will never come up again thanks for you input 

You are right. It is up to the ladies to get the refs or not. Most of the ladies do give and receive references, and we share information we think is important to share, such as were you a gentlemen, do you ask for discounts off our rates, do you respect boundaries, do you expect extra time over the time you are booking, were there cleanliness issues. These are things you should be aware of and prepared for your reference to share. All ladies provide different information to providers asking for a reference, but these are all within reason for sharing, even though you could be a sweet, nice wonderful man. Just like you guys help each other out passing along info, the ladies also like to help each other out too. Just something to keep in mind. 

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes kindness is seen as being a weakness. 😟

with telling you that here are some quick thoughts:

Read her website ask her questions.

If you don’t have enough for her rates move on

Be considerate of the time with her.

Also note that we all come with our own rules and portocol 

Come clean ask to take a shower bush your teeth or use rinse  especially if you smoke.

Call when you are close 

be a sweetheart and you will see a truly happy and playful beautiful lady! Very few of us on TOB have trouble giving references. When I give a reference????

Kali Refrences willBe very descriptive with all of your behavior good qualities and bad qualities things to note what I remember of our conversation together as well as possibly some activities. I also will just for reasons of my own give a little bit about what the client  looks like orher things of this nature . It may sound kind of silly to talk about  this?! Lol maybe I should just say “yes or no”when Would i see him again? (something of that nature) No!  no! I get very descriptive because I know a lot of these ladies have anxiety issues!  so ol’ Kali ma does her part to keep things safe and protected for that I am very quick to give up a very very detailed reference to help heal anxiety issues. 

If it has been more than 3 months since you have seen me and I don’t have a review from you? Please call me and remind me of our time together please. I am definitely not the jeliious type with my clientele. Lose one client another one shows up! However please don’t continue using me as reference over and over again with out coming and seeing me again please. 😊I give references to those who see me and continue to see me! No problems with that. 

Once again please  don’t mistake my kindness as a weakness. You might get a big ⚡️⚡️⚡️

 

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

once again Derrick in general and I was responding to Hunter. I guess I should have quoted her. 

 

Edited by Kali Sensual Reiki
3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/3/2018 at 4:24 PM, Kali Sensual Reiki said:

Sometimes kindness is seen as being a weakness. 😟

with telling you that here are some quick thoughts:

Read her website ask her questions.

If you don’t have enough for her rates move on

Be considerate of the time with her.

Also note that we all come with our own rules and portocol 

Come clean ask to take a shower bush your teeth or use rinse  especially if you smoke.

Call when you are close 

be a sweetheart and you will see a truly happy and playful beautiful lady! Very few of us on TOB have trouble giving references. When I give a reference????

Kali Refrences willBe very descriptive with all of your behavior good qualities and bad qualities things to note what I remember of our conversation together as well as possibly some activities. I also will just for reasons of my own give a little bit about what the client  looks like orher things of this nature . It may sound kind of silly to talk about  this?! Lol maybe I should just say “yes or no”when Would i see him again? (something of that nature) No!  no! I get very descriptive because I know a lot of these ladies have anxiety issues!  so ol’ Kali ma does her part to keep things safe and protected for that I am very quick to give up a very very detailed reference to help heal anxiety issues. 

If it has been more than 3 months since you have seen me and I don’t have a review from you? Please call me and remind me of our time together please. I am definitely not the jeliious type with my clientele. Lose one client another one shows up! However please don’t continue using me as reference over and over again with out coming and seeing me again please. 😊I give references to those who see me and continue to see me! No problems with that. 

Once again please  don’t mistake my kindness as a weakness. You might get a big ⚡️⚡️⚡️

 

I am the same way. What is okay with me is not okay with another lady, and a guy's quirks can be a "No Deal!" with some ladies. That is one of the reasons why us ladies prefer that you call us to ask for a reference with another provider because we all have protocols, and nothing is more embarrassing than miscommunication.

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi I'm back hi everyone I'm looking for long lasting friendships with no bull shit yes I'm to friendly when I start to someone  that's how it should be .you get to know who your seeing  just like the screening to men it should work booths ways the longest time I've ever know anyone is 5yrs or more .but that's just me!!! .thanks everyone for the feed back and  have a great thanksgiving I know it's early saying that but you've already have the count down to Christmas on cable t.v. Come on ??? 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/2/2018 at 4:29 PM, Hunter VanDyke said:

Friends share

 True...but in todays economy..ladies like regulars.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, JRWolfe said:

 True...but in todays economy..ladies like regulars.

From my experience, that how I keep my regulars. 

7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

From my experience, that how I keep my regulars. 

    Hunter, you are a smart lady.Too bad so many others do not see it your way.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now