Posted October 15, 2018 Why do members send messages, or ask questions through PMs, then delete the the conversation immediately, where you have no chance to respond? Or I get to respond, but the person deletes the conversation before I am finished with my part of the conversation. I've always found this too be extremely rude. Does this happen to anyone else? Also, if you are someone who does this consistently, what is the reasoning behind it? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 I have had this happen, I just figured they were busy and did not have time to talk anymore. I have waited a few days and then started another conversation to finish asking my questions. I ussually try to leave my messages open for a few weeks to make sure the conversation was actually over before I delete them. You can PM me anytime. Haha😊 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 I'd wager that a lot of the deleters do not realize what deleting really does. They're probably just trying to keep their message folder clean. And maybe some bit of paranoia re: not leaving a trail. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 1 minute ago, goodguy69 said: I have had this happen, I just figured they were busy and did not have time to talk anymore. I have waited a few days and then started another conversation to finish asking my questions. I ussually try to leave my messages open for a few weeks to make sure the conversation was actually over before I delete them. You can PM me anytime. Haha😊 I'm guilty of not deleting my messages, which is why my mailbox is always full, and sometimes I can't receive messages. In my defense I have a horrible memory and like to go back and reread a previous conversation to refresh my memory. I would think politely letting the other person know you are busy, and unable to respond to messages would be nice. That is not really what I'm talking about though. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, NoCoGeezer said: I'd wager that a lot of the deleters do not realize what deleting really does. They're probably just trying to keep their message folder clean. And maybe some bit of paranoia re: not leaving a trail. I just had a guy who's been prescreened inquire about a visit today. I was trying to respond, it was within minutes of his inquiry, and I couldnt because he deleted the convo immediately after inquiring. Lol. So confused??? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 (edited) I’m guilty of deleting. My inbox is always at 90% and after I finish a conversation I delete. I never thought about how that must come across and a huge apology to all of those I’ve deleted prematurely. You should still see the message and it just says that the other person has left the convo. Try sending one by the handle. Edited October 15, 2018 by Laci French 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 13 minutes ago, Laci French said: I’m guilty of deleting. My inbox is always at 90% and after I finish a conversation I delete. I never thought about how that must come across and a huge apology to all of those I’ve deleted prematurely. You should still see the message and it just says that the other person has left the convo. Try sending one by the handle. Aww...thank you Laci. We've had a couple of those convos I was confused by. I think sometimes we are done with the convo, and the other person is not, so the convo can feel a bit one sided. A proper ending from both parties would be nice. Then a quick delete. To save room in the inbox. 😊 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 (edited) Many of these prespective clients suffer from anxiety issues and fear of being discovered by others. Anonymity can become tricky in this world for many of us on both sides I am sure. You are not alone with not seeing messages at times Hunter Edited October 15, 2018 by Kali Sensual Reiki 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 4 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Many of these prespective clients suffer from anxiety issues and fear of being discovered by others. Anonymity can become tricky in this world for many of us on both sides I am sure. You are not alone with not seeing messages at times Hunter I agree with the anxiety and anonymity, but deleting the messages wouldn't help with that (on the cliebt end) as someone would have to get your account info to access the messages, and if they get the account info, the jig is already up so to speak. I certainly understand emptying out a full inbox though. As I am sure you beautiful ladies get bombarded with pms on a regular basis. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Laci French said: I never thought about how that must come across and a huge apology to all of those I’ve deleted prematurely. Premature deletion happens to a lot of people as they get older and is nothing to apologize for!😀 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, Desperado said: Premature deletion happens to a lot of people as they get older and is nothing to apologize for!😀 Agree, I think we have all experienced premature something at least once in life. 😁 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 30 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Many of these prespective clients suffer from anxiety issues and fear of being discovered by others. Anonymity can become tricky in this world for many of us on both sides I am sure. You are not alone with not seeing messages at times Hunter What does it mean if he's deleted the messages within minutes of sending it? Does he not wish to continue with his inquiry? Does he want me to start a new message to send the reply? Did he change is mind and delete the convo thinking I would never see it? He deleted the convo, so I am assuming he doesn't want me to respond. Who knows... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 (edited) Probably (speaking from total ignorance here) he sent out several, and somebody responded, so he just deleted the rest. Or his boss told him he had to work after all. Or he was just so overwhelmed by your beauty and charm that, after just a few moments of reflection, he chickened out and went bowling instead. Yeah, I like the last one, I'm going with that one, and I would suggest that you do as well. His loss. Edited October 15, 2018 by BadBoy 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 16 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: What does it mean if he's deleted the messages within minutes of sending it? Does he not wish to continue with his inquiry? Does he want me to start a new message to send the reply? Did he change is mind and delete the convo thinking I would never see it? He deleted the convo, so I am assuming he doesn't want me to respond. Who knows... Speaking from my limited experience and knowledge, he probably had no idea what he did, and I think you should just open a new thread to respond. One of my new favorite ladies removed her self from a thread with me, and at first I thought it was something I said or did, but based on follow ups that wasn't it, so likely just cleaning up space. I'm newer and have plenty of space so haven't deleted any from my side 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, BadBoy said: Probably (speaking from total ignorance here) he sent out several, and somebody responded, so he just deleted the rest. Or his boss told him he had to work after all. Or he was just overwhelmed by your beauty and charm that the chickened out. Yeah, I like the last one, I'm going with that one, and I would suggest that you do as well. +1 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 14 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: What does it mean if he's deleted the messages within minutes of sending it? Does he not wish to continue with his inquiry? Does he want me to start a new message to send the reply? Did he change is mind and delete the convo thinking I would never see it? He deleted the convo, so I am assuming he doesn't want me to respond. Who knows... It could be any of the above, but if I had to guess I’m going to say he’s probably inexperienced and got nervous. My first time ever reaching out to a lady, I called the number and got her voicemail. I panicked and hung up. Then she called my number back a few seconds later. I was so nervous I almost didn’t pick up but fortunately I did. I was amazed that she was so friendly and cool and we set up an appointment. It was off to the races after that! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 7 minutes ago, BadBoy said: Probably (speaking from total ignorance here) he sent out several, and somebody responded, so he just deleted the rest. Or his boss told him he had to work after all. Or he was just so overwhelmed by your beauty and charm that, after just a few moments of reflection, he chickened out and went bowling instead. Yeah, I like the last one, I'm going with that one, and I would suggest that you do as well. His loss. I love you BB 🤗💋😍❤ 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 (edited) 56 minutes ago, goodguy69 said: I agree with the anxiety and anonymity, but deleting the messages wouldn't help with that (on the cliebt end) as someone would have to get your account info to access the messages, and if they get the account info, the jig is already up so to speak. I certainly understand emptying out a full inbox though. As I am sure you beautiful ladies get bombarded with pms on a regular basis. 11 minutes ago, Desperado said: It could be any of the above, but if I had to guess I’m going to say he’s probably inexperienced and got nervous. My first time ever reaching out to a lady, I called the number and got her voicemail. I panicked and hung up. Then she called my number back a few seconds later. I was so nervous I almost didn’t pick up but fortunately I did. I was amazed that she was so friendly and cool and we set up an appointment. It was off to the races after that! Yes I totally agree with Despreado and Good guy! Some of the clients are painfully shy and nervous. In the past I have sometimes when a head and answer ed a deleted email like it was not deleted. After doing that the messages become a bit easier. Just like anything else in life Hunter the client is doing his very best to make a good impression and those feelings of anxiety can often reek havoc on them. I find that just pretending like the message was not deleted is the best way to go. 😊 Edited October 15, 2018 by Kali Sensual Reiki 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 5 minutes ago, Desperado said: It could be any of the above, but if I had to guess I’m going to say he’s probably inexperienced and got nervous. My first time ever reaching out to a lady, I called the number and got her voicemail. I panicked and hung up. Then she called my number back a few seconds later. I was so nervous I almost didn’t pick up but fortunately I did. I was amazed that she was so friendly and cool and we set up an appointment. It was off to the races after that! This wasn't our first convo. He went through screening, 3 separate references were verified, he has others, so he's not new to this. It's all good though. Maybe he'll reach out again some other time, and we'll connect. I do hope he found one of our lovely TOB ladies to keep him company. Spread the love. 💙 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 5 minutes ago, BadBoy said: Not often enough! You don't want these sickly germs right now. Trust me. We don't need to be spreading the love around that bad. 😭😂 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 1 minute ago, Hunter VanDyke said: This wasn't our first convo. He went through screening, 3 separate references were verified, he has others, so he's not new to this. It's all good though. Maybe he'll reach out again some other time, and we'll connect. I do hope he found one of our lovely TOB ladies to keep him company. Spread the love. 💙 Why not just message back in new thread and ask if he still wanted to get together. 'Hey there, I noticed you deleted our convo, not sure if you were just cleaning messages, so wanted to reach out and see if you want to meet for the time of your life?' You'll either get a Yes, or a No or a no response which is a No, but then you know for sure 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 7 minutes ago, Kali Sensual Reiki said: Yes I totally agree with Goodguy! Some of the clients are painfully shy and nervous. In the past I have sometimes when a head and answer ed a delete email like it was not deleted. After doing that the messages become a bit easier. Just like anything else in life Hunter the client is doing his very best to make a good impression and those feelings of anxiety can often reek havoc on them. I find that just pretending like the message was not deleted is the best way to go. 😊 1 minute ago, K2dnvrfun said: Why not just message back in new thread and ask if he still wanted to get together. 'Hey there, I noticed you deleted our convo, not sure if you were just cleaning messages, so wanted to reach out and see if you want to meet for the time of your life?' You'll either get a Yes, or a No or a no response which is a No, but then you know for sure Thank you again sweet Kali. 💙 I'll try both of your advice. It's not normally my style, but why not... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 1 minute ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Thank you again sweet Kali. 💙 I'll try both of your advice. It's not normally my style, but why not... Allow your intuition be your guide. I believe in this particular situation I am confident that I am correct with my response in saying that your client is very shy. Trying his best to not give into his anxiety of meeting you gorgeous lady! He possibly also fears that he thinks he is possibly bothering you with too many emails and messages too. For myself with clients that are shy I do my very best to break down the barrier of anxiety. So, I often continue to write back if a PM is deleted. Do what feels best for you Hunter! 😘 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 15, 2018 2 hours ago, mountainrider33 said: I just cleaned out my Inbox this weekend and accidentally pulled out of the group conversation I was in. I can't even get back in with an invitation. That sounds like something I would do. 🙄 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 16, 2018 This happens to me often too Hunter, but not just with PMs, with texts also. I have an iPhone so I know when I get an iMessage. Some block my # after a question-some I don’t even get to answer lol it’s the strangest thing but with iPhones it’s easy to block. But still why? 🤣It’s just a form of inconsideration and above all, bad communication. What I’ve learned over the years is don’t dwell on it, even for a minute. This day and age real communication and respect has gone out the window with all the technology 💜 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 16, 2018 11 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Why do members send messages, or ask questions through PMs, then delete the the conversation immediately, where you have no chance to respond? Or I get to respond, but the person deletes the conversation before I am finished with my part of the conversation. I've always found this too be extremely rude. Does this happen to anyone else? Also, if you are someone who does this consistently, what is the reasoning behind it? Interesting LOL. I had to look over my shoulder and make sure you wasn't spying on me..... Seriously, I may be able to answer your question because I am in the process of deleting loads of messages as we speak. I get tons of messages so my little inbox mail button is always red. I constantly go down the list and sometimes I delete messages that I have just sent as well so that my box isn't full and I cannot receive new messages. I had no idea that deleting a message you sent also deletes it from mailbox of the intended recipient as well. If this is the case, Hunter they may not even know they are doing this, they may be just like me trying to keep their inbox free to receive new incoming mail. You may want to just send them an email and ask them to resend it because they may not be reading this post. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 16, 2018 11 hours ago, NoCoGeezer said: I'd wager that a lot of the deleters do not realize what deleting really does. They're probably just trying to keep their message folder clean. And maybe some bit of paranoia re: not leaving a trail. Geezer LOL in my case, I am just trying to keep my inbox from being full. Paranoia and not leaving a trail LOL may be for others. I had no idea if you delete the message you just sent, it deletes from the recipient's mailbox as well. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 16, 2018 (edited) 14 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Why do members send messages, or ask questions through PMs, then delete the the conversation immediately, where you have no chance to respond? Or I get to respond, but the person deletes the conversation before I am finished with my part of the conversation. I've always found this too be extremely rude. Does this happen to anyone else? Also, if you are someone who does this consistently, what is the reasoning behind it? I do this because it was done to me first. I thought it was part of the super secret TOB decoder ring thing I read about early on. I don’t mean to be rude. I just assumed it was a safety thing. This is good to know Hunter. Thanks, Edited October 16, 2018 by LightningP 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 16, 2018 6 hours ago, Leena_rose said: This happens to me often too Hunter, but not just with PMs, with texts also. I have an iPhone so I know when I get an iMessage. Some block my # after a question-some I don’t even get to answer lol it’s the strangest thing but with iPhones it’s easy to block. But still why? 🤣It’s just a form of inconsideration and above all, bad communication. What I’ve learned over the years is don’t dwell on it, even for a minute. This day and age real communication and respect has gone out the window with all the technology 💜 Thank you Leena. You're someone who gets it. Much love 💋🤗 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
