Posted October 14, 2018 It's hard when guys it to so personal that you won't let them into your life. They get pouty about it or just go silent for days/weeks. I mean I honestly take it as a compliment that a guy would like you that much but very much the realistic hand, that is what eharmony is for. I call them prince charmings because they immediately want to date and start life swapping. I love what I do but it's a second life and it should stay that way. Setting up boundaries is something the sugar dating life style did not teach me and that's probably why I ended up leaving after it started to get serious. I'm not sure if other girls are like this but when a guy gets 'love-sick' about me like a bartender I usually cut them off. It's not healthy for them to think I am going to become something that they will wake up next to. I don't do over nights for that very reason. Nursing; some nurses are great at being able to go home and focus on their home life while some aren't. I find it like that with this job. Some guys can leave us in their fantasy fulfillment while others are playing prince charming home to swoop us on their horses and ride away into the sunset. On that note girl, how much texting do you do with your guys? I really try not to do it too much unless it's work related. I remember when I was a cam girl for about oh, I don't know. Two weeks XD I would charge a small fee for the guy to have my personal line to text me but I wouldn't text him but a few times a day because we all have a home life that we return to at some point. Like college, family, social life haha you know? Maybe I got to tone down the chemistry a few notches eh? Hahaha Anyway, I'm new to TOB but I've been a club dancer and such and always loved working with the boss-minded girls. Thanks for reading Betty Claire 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 Your ability to create chemistry is actually something I liked about you. But limits are important. I don't know how the other side of the equation works, but I've always suspected that the deed itself isn't the hard part during a session. Navigating the emotions of the client; finding out what he needs from the session and what you are willing to give, is the part you are actually paid for. And that is why I think a provider should be somewhere between an actress and a therapist. A provider is ultimately a fantasy, but what fantasy that is must be discovered on the fly in the course of a session. The therapy part is where you teach people about their sexuality. There is a lot of shame that comes with being a client, just as there is a lot of shame that comes with being a provider, or with being someone who has to go to a therapist. Ultimately, if everything is consensual, shame is irrelevant, just as talking and expressing yourself to another person is irrelevant and not immoral. And of course, I understand that the shame and judgment is even higher on the provider side of the equation. I think that the best sessions are ones where we are completely real about the sexual aspects of ourselves within the the context of our allotted time together. During that time, what we want is valid. Now, of course small talk, personability and such is a part of that. In that respect, become someone else. Act like you are someone else, but find the part that connects to yourself. Don't be afraid to push back, because sometimes, that's what people expect and want and will ultimately respect. If someone feels a connection to you, remind them that they only feel a connection to the you that exists in that room at the moment. If they keep pushing, make something up that will lead them away from what you truly are. Navigating a client's emotions is probably the hardest part of your job, whether they be loving you, wanting you, hating you, or not caring about you. Fucking is probably the easiest part of it all. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 I agree with the need to seperate HW and RW, however I have met a couple ladies on here that I have become friends with and we talk or text on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. And have discussed some real life events and problems, as everyone needs someone they can discuss any topic with, without judgement,(which can be a rare thing), now I have no delusions of anything other than a friendship and know that our friendship does not depend on any type of adult activities. I agree this is not the place to try and meet life partners but you can make real connections and real friends in this hobby as long as you can seperate friendship from fun time. And I think the friendship can make the fun time more intense, but when it is over you have to realize you are still just friends. I have expressed to the ladies that I have become friends with that the information we share will go no further than our conversations and know that they feel the same way. I believe everyone needs friends, as I know I do, I know I can talk to these ladies about things I cannot discuss with anyone else in this world and vice-versa. Now that being said I know my situation may be different since I am in another state, but I do believe clients and providers can maintain a friendship outside of the hobby as long as they know the boundaries and have no delusions of anything more than a true genuine friendship. Just my 2 cents. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 Good post from a young lady with a solid connection to reality. I once had a great friendly relationship with a young lady in the business. Saw her two or three times per month for several years, then she married and moved away. Been looking for another one like that, but no luck yet. Closest I have come was a few pleasant months followed by incessant calls and texts from a woman who seems to have confused me with the ATM. Rent time, utility bills, car repairs, everything you can think of. Business can be pleasant and friendly, but it will always be business. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 Or..... you could fall hopelessly in love, become totally obsessed, finally come to your senses, broken hearted and forelorn, try to salvage a friendship, partially succeed, and then, a year or so later.... do it all over again. Works for me 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 1 hour ago, BadBoy said: Or..... you could fall hopelessly in love, become totally obsessed, finally come to your senses, broken hearted and forelorn, try to salvage a friendship, partially succeed, and then, a year or so later.... do it all over again. Works for me Ooohhhh, you poor bastard! I feel for ya! It's extremely rare for an escort to fall for a client. It does happen, probably less than 1 in 500, though. Clients should go into appointments expecting a friendly business encounter. It should never go past that, unless the escort asks for more. That's my 2 cent opinion... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 good topic - and one worth bringing to light periodically to keep some folks grounded... white knights have been around since the round table - another inalienable hobby truth that ain't ever gonna change - best to simply accept and cohabitate...... and the boundaries you hint to employing are a must. From what i have read on these types of threads, staying in touch outside of the HW dating time together can be misleading and guide some of the lonelier types in a collision course with damage control... Rarely do HW and RW relationships mix well, not to say they don't, but most of the time there will be a sad party involved, and hopefully that is it. Some end in sadness, spite, spiteful reviews, story telling, public outings, yada yada yada - stick around for a while you will see it all, and most of it doesn't cultivate good dating community vibes... some can share how their RW lives are moving along when they spend their HW time together and that suffices. Then when the date is over they go back to their RW and leave the HW to its peaceful independent self. Makes for great appointments to catch up as part of the date, for some it makes the date more fun, for some it is truly truly genuine... best everyone use their best judgement and be honest - keep the grey areas as black and white as humanly possible, and let the cards fall where they may... in the dating world such as this, intimacy and romance and friendship and and and is often a matter of interpretation, so it can be fragile ground - be honest and forthwith and everyone should fare just fine... just tell the truth... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 A one and done type encounter may be for some--as they want to stay on the surface. For others the HW commingled with RW and the friendship route that develops can basically become a psychology session where both air feelings and frustrations, bouncing ideas off each other and both leave feeling rejuvenated. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 13 hours ago, BettyClaire said: Anyway, I'm new to TOB but I've been a club dancer and such and always loved working with the boss-minded girls. Thanks for reading Betty Claire First, welcome to the board! Hope you enjoy it here and prosper. Unusually thoughtful way to to say hi lol. If I get the drift correctly the two types are the ones that fall in love with your irresistible self and those that consider you literally nothing besides a business transaction. I respectfully submit there is another type, being the kind that cherish a regular who becomes an actual friend and truly cared about but with no delusions about ever becoming true romance. I absolutely believe you can be friends in all the normal senses of the word, see each other regularly for a mutually acceptable business transaction and not spin out of control to drama and bullshit. In fact finding the type of relationship I describe is the only thing that makes this "hobby" at all worth doing for me. Just me and my opinion. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 You mean I can't tie you up in my basement? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 As a guy, it is confusing sometimes. My massage therapist admitted to me recently that she was a sex worker but had to quit because the guys wanted something more outside the bedroom. I always wanted to ask my providers to meet outside their work hours but only tried once. Lunch or dinner beforehand is a real turn on before the bedroom. My best experience has been where we both get so turned on that we can’t get enough of each other during the hour. Multiple orgasms and energy exchanges that blows our chakras out of the water. As a guy, I vividly remember these experiences and will never forget that provider. I don’t know if it’s the same for the lady or just entirely business as they see so many. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 3 minutes ago, Mr.Pink said: You mean I can't tie you up in my basement? I've always thought you were a "Buffalo Bill" kinda guy... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 14, 2018 36 minutes ago, gr8owl said: I respectfully submit there is another type, being the kind that cherish a regular who becomes an actual friend and truly cared about but with no delusions about ever becoming true romance. I absolutely believe you can be friends in all the normal senses of the word, see each other regularly for a mutually acceptable business transaction and not spin out of control to drama and bullshit. In fact finding the type of relationship I describe is the only thing that makes this "hobby" at all worth doing for me. That sounds fantastic! I wanna be that guy! I’m looking for a few laughs too. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
