Posted September 22, 2018 There have been several new threads lately about being new, references, how to get them etc. My question to the guys is; Do you know when you are seeing a non-reference friendly lady or a lady that simply does not respond to reference requests? I'm not sure if you guys are being mislead in thinking that you will be given a reference, simply don't care at the time or what the situation might be. I ask because I am constantly having gentlemen use ladies for references that have never giving a reference to me or a large group of my peers. I may be beating a dead horse here, but I am really curious as to why this continues to be an issue. Obviously, it's a personal choice for a lady as to whether she provides references. It's just annoying when a guy wants to schedule a date, doesn't want to provide screening information, but the reference he is using is no good. I feel so bad for them. The other annoyance is when I have had a half hour date with someone 6 months ago, never seen him again, given him 10 references and yet he still uses me. Why not use the other 10 ladies? On a positive note, we have an awesome group of ladies on the scene that are Johnny on the Spot with references. It's been awesome lately with the level of response, and the turn around time. 15 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 More common for me is “can’t figure out how” or “I dont give references”. Another possibility is, reference is given, it’s checked and then no response. Again, patience is critical. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 Actually, I've been noticing that the ladies that rapidly accepted me when I first joined TOB...are all retired. So much for having references. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 5 minutes ago, mountainrider33 said: I've done that with one of my references. The problem is that you know they are a reliable reference and that the other 10 are not so much. I did feel bad but I only had two providers, for the longest time, that would do the references. I did end up switching to some of the traveling girls as my references, because they screened me. I understand and this makes sense. So since there is so much back channeling talking about services offered, looks etc, is there not any back channeling about reference friendly ladies? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 Not that l know ! Maybe a list of ladies that are not reference friendly. At least it would get there attention. Also a lot of ladies seem to hate reviews. And your correct about some of us not being repeat customers. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 A Reference thread that actually goes in a new and intersting direction? Will wonders never cease? I guess I have never asked the question directly of a provider "are you reference friendly?" I do ask particular providers I have seen to be TOB references. Is it not implied that she is reference friendly if she agrees to my request? I have never given out individual names and numbers for references just shared my TOB reference list. I assume that a prospective provider would reach out to one or two that they know for information. I know we shouldn't assume but there it is. I have wondered about the references because I have never heard from from either side that a particular provider contacted them or was contacted. I have wanted to ask but thought maybe this would be cras. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 The negative info, in this thread, makes me really happy that I'm on P411. I get a new reference every time I see someone through there. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 2 hours ago, BeenHereDoingThis said: A Reference thread that actually goes in a new and intersting direction? Will wonders never cease? I guess I have never asked the question directly of a provider "are you reference friendly?" I do ask particular providers I have seen to be TOB references. Is it not implied that she is reference friendly if she agrees to my request? I have never given out individual names and numbers for references just shared my TOB reference list. I assume that a prospective provider would reach out to one or two that they know for information. I know we shouldn't assume but there it is. I have wondered about the references because I have never heard from from either side that a particular provider contacted them or was contacted. I have wanted to ask but thought maybe this would be cras. There are ladies who will give you a reference on TOB, but won't respond if I reach out to them. Unfortunately, I won't use them for screening. I feel like a lot of providers don't reach out to references. I've given quite a few here on TOB, but I very rarely get contacted about them. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 My situation exactly! Had great fun with some quality ladies but all of them are retired. Such is life. I had a lady recently suggest, with the best of intentions, that I try to reach out to one of the retired ladies. I won't do that. Retired means she has closed this chapter of her life and moved on to a new one. I think contacting her for a reference would be very disrespectful. I have learned that patience has it's own rewards. Life is an adventure, this hobby is an adventure. With patience and the experience that comes from being around since dirt I will find enough opportunities to play with quality ladies. 3 hours ago, JRWolfe said: Actually, I've been noticing that the ladies that rapidly accepted me when I first joined TOB...are all retired. So much for having references. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 OK...I will say it. I believe ( am certain) that many ladies won't give refs because they do NOT want to help the competition and hope the guy has no choice but to see THEM again. Additionally, it carries double weight because if the guy contacts her, she can say...." I don't know whats wrong because I gave you a great ref...maybe it's just she does not want to see you....But we had fun...I will" Since I am saying unpopular things, I will add this: at least 9 times out of 10, ladies against reviews are hiding the limits of their services......( lots of "no's", translated everything). 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, pfunk said: The negative info, in this thread, makes me really happy that I'm on P411. I get a new reference every time I see someone through there. I was wondering about the P411 thing. I’ve been told about that by my lady friend but it is “no longer accepting new members” anyone know what that’s all about? Edited September 22, 2018 by LightningP 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 22, 2018 (edited) 44 minutes ago, Admiral C said: OK...I will say it. I believe ( am certain) that many ladies won't give refs because they do NOT want to help the competition and hope the guy has no choice but to see THEM again. Additionally, it carries double weight because if the guy contacts her, she can say...." I don't know whats wrong because I gave you a great ref...maybe it's just she does not want to see you....But we had fun...I will" Since I am saying unpopular things, I will add this: at least 9 times out of 10, ladies against reviews are hiding the limits of their services......( lots of "no's", translated everything). If the ladies want their clients to have no choice but to come back and see them, treat them so damn good during their visits, and outside of visits that can't stay away. Lol. I give my clients references, and let them know it's ok to use me. Hell, I encourage them to see all my friends. Most of them still come back. Even if they don't and find someone they enjoy spending their time and money with more, that's ok too. We're always seeing new guys, and hopefully making them new regulars. It's weird to me to treat a client like a possession. I never understood it. Edited September 22, 2018 by Hunter VanDyke 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 3 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: There are ladies who will give you a reference on TOB, but won't respond if I reach out to them. Unfortunately, I won't use them for screening. I feel like a lot of providers don't reach out to references. I've given quite a few here on TOB, but I very rarely get contacted about them. OK speaking for my own self here I was not aware of this issue. I know a person shouldn't assume things but I did. TOB reference = Reference Friendly. I have not had the experience of a prospective provider coming back and telling me my references were not panning out. So what should we do as clients? Ask the question directly when asking for a TOB reference? NO Snarky font here I am really asking for the ladies to help us help them. One more question. Is it cool to ask a provider about who she used for references? Or if she has given references for me? I assumed this would be a crass thing to do. Yeah I assumed again..... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 10 minutes ago, BeenHereDoingThis said: OK speaking for my own self here I was not aware of this issue. I know a person shouldn't assume things but I did. TOB reference = Reference Friendly. I have not had the experience of a prospective provider coming back and telling me my references were not panning out. So what should we do as clients? Ask the question directly when asking for a TOB reference? NO Snarky font here I am really asking for the ladies to help us help them. One more question. Is it cool to ask a provider about who she used for references? Or if she has given references for me? I assumed this would be a crass thing to do. Yeah I assumed again..... Reference friendly for me means this is a provider who is open to other providers contacting her about a potential client. Not all providers reach out to your references, which is probably why it's never been an issue for you. Or it could be that you have a references that are open to be contacted, and they gave you an excellent reference, so there were no hiccups during screening. For some providers, by you opening up your references to her, and her seeing them, that is enough. For some of us, we like a little more info to help determine if we're a good match for a visit. I see nothing wrong with asking a provider if she is reference friendly. Some providers ask that you contact your references first before they reach out to them and verify. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 For the lovely ladies of TOB... Is P411 no longer the gold standard of "screening" ? when I was a newbie-newbie (as apposed to now just being a newbie, lol) the old-timer hobbiests on the board all said "go P411...get ok's and you are good to go!". but lately, maybe it's just me, P411 seems to have lost it's magic. I've had several p411 requests go ignored with no reply at all. By ignored, I know they got the email because they looked at my profile (i have 5 ok's mostly within the last 6 months) and then...crickets. My policy is 1 follow up email then moving on...read on TOB if I follow up that way otherwise who knows? So, ladies of TOB, is P411 with recent ok's no longer valuable in today's environment? Or do reference checks trump (lol that will trigger some folks ) p411 ok's? Thanks for your opinions! Winston... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 5 minutes ago, Winston_Smith said: For the lovely ladies of TOB... Is P411 no longer the gold standard of "screening" ? when I was a newbie-newbie (as apposed to now just being a newbie, lol) the old-timer hobbiests on the board all said "go P411...get ok's and you are good to go!". but lately, maybe it's just me, P411 seems to have lost it's magic. I've had several p411 requests go ignored with no reply at all. By ignored, I know they got the email because they looked at my profile (i have 5 ok's mostly within the last 6 months) and then...crickets. My policy is 1 follow up email then moving on...read on TOB if I follow up that way otherwise who knows? So, ladies of TOB, is P411 with recent ok's no longer valuable in today's environment? Or do reference checks trump (lol that will trigger some folks ) p411 ok's? Thanks for your opinions! Winston... P411 has not lost its magic for me. I love it. They're just going through some changes right now, and they haven't been open to new members. That's changing now too. 😊 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 Hunter that is good to hear! So a P411 request does not require references? This i guess is the ultimate question for you and all the other ladies of TOB... 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 3 minutes ago, Winston_Smith said: Hunter that is good to hear! So a P411 request does not require references? This i guess is the ultimate question for you and all the other ladies of TOB... Like I said they're making changes. Hopefully, you'll be able to join soon, and you'll be able to see for yourself how they work. 😁 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 1 minute ago, Hunter VanDyke said: Like I said they're making changes. Hopefully, you'll be able to join soon, and you'll be able to see for yourself how they work. 😁 oh maybe i was not clear...I am already a p411 member...have been for 18 months! so my question was and still is, p411 ok for screening or abandon for references? or combo of both? 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 1 minute ago, Winston_Smith said: oh maybe i was not clear...I am already a p411 member...have been for 18 months! so my question was and still is, p411 ok for screening or abandon for references? or combo of both? I prefer p411, because I get to see your profile and bio, and I get a better sense of who I'm meeting, and what your preferences are. But, I understand that some guys don't join, and references work just as well for me. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 11 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said: I prefer p411, because I get to see your profile and bio, and I get a better sense of who I'm meeting, and what your preferences are. But, I understand that some guys don't join, and references work just as well for me. ok, gotcha...I understand both avenues of approach. makes perfect sense. Still curious as to why but never will find out the reason for crickets on my 2 p411 requests. oh well. I am happy to hear, at least from you, that p411 is still a respected screening site? tool? app? lol, it's p411! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 I learned a hard lesson on references. I was oblivious to it having a "time table" so to speak. Sucked to learn the hard way but now I ask if a lady will be a reference for me and follow a yes with the question how often I need to visit to stay in good standing. Actually been a mixed bag on the second part. Some want every 3 months or less while others say they aren't worried about it. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 I’m always reference friendly even if I’m out of town/home. I have noticed guys using me as a reference when I haven’t seen them in months and can’t remember them. I know they only use me bc they know I’ll give the reference. Although I still give the reference, I have started to tell the providers that they need to tell the client to use someone else more recent. I rarely reach out to providers when guys give their references simply bc it’s too time consuming and I’m not waiting on anyone to make my dinero ya dig lol I will continue to be reference friendly even to those users lol I for one like when a guy sees other providers. There’s enough to go around for everybody. Happy Hobbying folks! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 I don't understand the difficulty. I had two out of town references (who thankfully vouched), then I had one reference on TOB in Denver. Then two. Every woman I've seen has since given a TOB reference, and now having more than 10, it doesn't seem to be a problem at all to see someone new on TOB (or since I had but two). I don't know if providers are reaching out to providers personally, or going off of the TOB references given only. I just know I've never had a problem. Then again, I haven't been scarce about seeing new people, either. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 6 hours ago, Hunter VanDyke said: It's weird to me to treat a client like a possession. I never understood it. Insecure ladies seem to do this.Not just in the hobby,I've observed this in strip clubs and on sets. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 12 hours ago, Winston_Smith said: Hunter that is good to hear! So a P411 request does not require references? This i guess is the ultimate question for you and all the other ladies of TOB... Surprisingly, in over ten years and hundreds of new ladies, I was never asked for a "reference," because I always had a few recent OKs on P411, and a handful of references on TOB. Recently, however, I flirted a bit with a gal on Switter who didn't trust TOB, and didn't belong to P411. To pass her screening, I had to come up with a real-live on-the-phone reference. First time ever! Luckily, one of my sweet friends here helped out and after about 15 minutes I was good to go. So, to answer your question directly, P411 works 99+ percent of the time, and the other 1 percent can be taken care of if you have at least one regular friend. To make a friend, you need to be a friend. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 10 hours ago, SophiaDeLaRue said: I know they only use me bc they know I’ll give the reference. Actually, Ms. de la Rue, the reason guys give your name out months after they meet you is because they can't get you out of their mind. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 16 hours ago, Admiral C said: OK...I will say it. I believe ( am certain) that many ladies won't give refs because they do NOT want to help the competition and hope the guy has no choice but to see THEM again. Additionally, it carries double weight because if the guy contacts her, she can say...." I don't know whats wrong because I gave you a great ref...maybe it's just she does not want to see you....But we had fun...I will" Since I am saying unpopular things, I will add this: at least 9 times out of 10, ladies against reviews are hiding the limits of their services......( lots of "no's", translated everything). Probably right on the money! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted September 23, 2018 22 hours ago, JRWolfe said: Actually, I've been noticing that the ladies that rapidly accepted me when I first joined TOB...are all retired. So much for having references. LOL. I am still here Wolfe. I will always be Your ref 😎 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
