hardonj

References

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Any thoughts about a provider asking for names and phone numbers for references?  That's confidential I would think.  Hmm

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References are the easiest and fastest way to schedule a date. It most times leaves personal information out of the equation.  

I suggest you ask the ladies you spend time with if they are reference friendly and request one on your profile. 

Best of luck to you!

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On 9/9/2018 at 3:56 PM, hardonj said:

Any thoughts about a provider asking for names and phone numbers for references?  That's confidential I would think.  Hmm

I can appreciate your concern, it's reasonable for you to feel that way.  Conversely, would you want to know who it is that you are allowing into your home and maybe do some screening to protect yourself?  That too is reasonable. 

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For anyone new to the hobby please consider carefully what Laci and pfunk have written. This is the way it is. It’s a small price to pay to get what you want. 

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Quality references seem to carry the most weight. Although sometimes it seems to take a few days for reply. I appreciate the gals getting the screening part done promptly. 

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On 9/9/2018 at 3:56 PM, hardonj said:

Any thoughts about a provider asking for names and phone numbers for references?  That's confidential I would think.  Hmm

I started by visiting some well-reviewed ladies who were newbie friendly, and asking them for references.  They provided them, so now I've got something to share with ladies who ask for them.

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23 minutes ago, Just Another Guy said:

I started by visiting some well-reviewed ladies who were newbie friendly, and asking them for references.  They provided them, so now I've got something to share with ladies who ask for them.

That's how its done!! Way to go sport! Keep up the good work

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On 9/9/2018 at 3:56 PM, hardonj said:

Any thoughts about a provider asking for names and phone numbers for references?  That's confidential I would think.  Hmm

You joined this site in 2016 and you are just now going through the process of being screened.  It has taken you some time to get to this point.

Yes, ladies are going to ask you for references and it is your choice to provide what you are comfortable with. 

 

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On 9/9/2018 at 3:56 PM, hardonj said:

Any thoughts about a provider asking for names and phone numbers for references?  That's confidential I would think.  Hmm

Most established providers will ask for references or another form of screening. References are meant for the provider’s safety. By speaking to another provider you’ve seen I can assure that you aren’t going to cause legal issues for me. It also gives me a good gauge of how our time together will be. Asking for references is pretty common and has been a form of screening for years. As providers we have just as much to lose as you do. 

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I understand your skepticism and it seems reasonable at first, but keep in mind these providers must take on far more risk than you do. For us, it's just once every week, month, or year depending on our habits, budgets, etc. but they must take the same risk for every client they meet. If providing references feels too risky, this might not be the right "hobby" for you.

Consequently, I've been using P411 much more in the last few months. I've found that many P411 members will give OKs on P411, but won't provide references beyond that. Now when I request time with a provider who is not a P411 member, I'm stuck in the same situation as the new guys with no references to speak of. There's one who I would really love to meet, but I probably won't pass her screening because of this little issue. It's inconvenient for me, but I can't blame providers for wanting to ensure their own safety. I just have to live with it until I have a good mix of P411 and non-P411 refs. 

Good luck out there.

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7 hours ago, daaacz said:

Now when I request time with a provider who is not a P411 member, I'm stuck in the same situation as the new guys with no references to speak of. It's inconvenient for me, but I can't blame providers for wanting to ensure their own safety. I just have to live with it until I have a good mix of P411 and non-P411 refs. 

 

Good news. After the changes go into place on P411 in January, even non-P411 providers will be able to view your P411 profile and Okays (if you give them access to view it). Whether they will accept the information is another matter of course, but it's a step in the right direction I think :)

Always,
Gina

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On 9/9/2018 at 4:56 PM, hardonj said:

Any thoughts about a provider asking for names and phone numbers for references?  That's confidential I would think.  Hmm

How would you prefer to be screened.

Just curious if you feel it's private and you have no reviews nor are you 411. So I and I'm sure other VeRiFiEd ladies would like to know what you think would be acceptable?

 

 

Edited by E.J.England
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12 hours ago, GinaXXX said:

Good news. After the changes go into place on P411 in January, even non-P411 providers will be able to view your P411 profile and Okays (if you give them access to view it). Whether they will accept the information is another matter of course, but it's a step in the right direction I think :)

Always,
Gina

Wow, best idea ever! Thanks!

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OP, now this is just my 2 cents, if you aren't willing to give references, but you're "established in the community," or so you might tell said provider, it would raise Red Flags in my mind about why you WOULDN'T want to give information out if you had a good time. My mind would go straight to Well What IS HE HIDING. 

Laci and Pfunk gave amazing advice.

Just having a handle doesn't mean ladies will see you have to actually have some stuff on there. 

But like I said, that's just my thought on it. 

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6 hours ago, AmberLynn720 said:

OP, now this is just my 2 cents, if you aren't willing to give references, but you're "established in the community," or so you might tell said provider, it would raise Red Flags in my mind about why you WOULDN'T want to give information out if you had a good time. My mind would go straight to Well What IS HE HIDING. 

Laci and Pfunk gave amazing advice.

Just having a handle doesn't mean ladies will see you have to actually have some stuff on there. 

But like I said, that's just my thought on it. 

Couldn’t agree more! Y’all can’t trust US to host us in your home, don’t want to share references, or real world info but want us to host ya in our homes no questions asked? That’s how we get robbed, raped, beaten, killed or those shiny silver bracelets. The fuckery is real around here. 

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23 minutes ago, Just Jos said:

Couldn’t agree more! Y’all can’t trust US to host us in your home, don’t want to share references, or real world info but want us to host ya in our homes no questions asked? That’s how we get robbed, raped, beaten, killed or those shiny silver bracelets. The fuckery is real around here. 

100% 

Some of these guys expect us to let them into our homes but they don't want to give us their names? Freaking ridiculous 

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28 minutes ago, AmberLynn720 said:

100% 

Some of these guys expect us to let them into our homes but they don't want to give us their names? Freaking ridiculous 

I think most of us TOB guys understand this, unfortunately, I think the back page refugee clients have much to learn. Sorry!!! :(

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2 minutes ago, pfunk said:

I think most of us TOB guys understand this, unfortunately, I think the back page refugee clients have much to learn. Sorry!!! :(

What he said...

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14 minutes ago, pfunk said:

I think most of us TOB guys understand this, unfortunately, I think the back page refugee clients have much to learn. Sorry!!! :(

 

11 minutes ago, Just Another Guy said:

What he said...

Not all. I've had a few messages from guys on here, not established obviously, and they are baffled that I need their name and phone number. LOL. 

And P, nothing for you to be sorry about handsome! Just the name of the game and rolling with the punches. ;)

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I had a friend of something that I had almost forgot and it really sank in as I thought about what he said...Life is about taking risks....And he was absolutely right...When I first came here no one asked anyone for references,. it was unheard of and now because there are some who do not seem to grasp the entire concept of things here, they have started asking such things because of supposed safety concerns but really what good does that do....It does seem to me a way of getting information about others from someone else which is really not anyone elses business....By sharing such information are we not putting ourselves at risk as well??? Just a thought that I have been considering just a bit lately and it seems to me we really have no clue who it is asking so that is putting us at risk not only once but twice....I am really not all that comfortable with that especially with all the old faces here that are not looking the same as they used to....Really until someone opens the door you are still at risk since it is impossible to know anything for sure until that moment and that is something that is very important to remember....Never put yourself at risk if you are not comfortable and never ask someone else to decide that for you, it is a choice that you and only you should make and if you make that decision on your own then maybe you are in the wrong hobby....Life is full of risks and we need to realize that and think about the level of risk we are willing to take before we do the things we do....

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On 9/12/2018 at 9:20 AM, Seeker5280 said:

Quality references seem to carry the most weight. Although sometimes it seems to take a few days for reply. I appreciate the gals getting the screening part done promptly. 

Absolutely for me this is the case.  Quality, open, and genuine references carry the most weight when I'm deciding to see a new client. I understand different ladies have different views, and there are still risks 100% of the time regardless of a providers screening practices, but for me, this has been how I've avoided problem clients this last year.  I've missed out on seeing some quality men who were either unwilling or unable to provide references, but we all have a to make the best decisions for our own selves. There are quality providers and hobbyists with differing comfort levels when it comes to screening. Everyone can decide whatever works best for themselves.

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On 9/9/2018 at 3:56 PM, hardonj said:

Any thoughts about a provider asking for names and phone numbers for references?  

This is standard practice. Always was, always will be. 

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On 9/12/2018 at 6:25 AM, mountainrider33 said:

Pfunk said it exactly correct.  I still get asked for references all the time.  The first provider I seen had me take a selfie holding up my license.  You do what you have to do when starting out.

  Only once has a lady asked me for references and I was happy to comply. On the other hand,I have only this year had guys ask me about what ladies to see. Obviously, I do NOT do that. Hopefully , no ladies were lied to.

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I totally agree we all need to feel safe.

If the person p or c has reviews then that should  work for most of us.

When it doesn't l just move on.

About a 98% success rate.

 

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