am I black listed on p411

[SD1958]

I've been reaching out to a number of providers on p411 through PMs to introduce myself and let them know I would like to see them in the near future and I'm either ignored (no responce) or I'm told there a a couple of things i'm not compatible with them.  I've checked my profile and I'm at a loss.  I know I haven't been that active over the last few years but I do have a new okay.  Still I seem to be getting ignored even when the provider is online.

[Bora Bora]

Maybe you are listing too many "activities" in your profile or asking them to comment about the activities? Even on P411 there is very little space to talk about activities and preferences.

[Amber Allure]

14 hours ago, SD1958 said:

I've been reaching out to a number of providers on p411 through PMs to introduce myself and let them know I would like to see them in the near future and I'm either ignored (no responce) or I'm told there a a couple of things i'm not compatible with them.  I've checked my profile and I'm at a loss.  I know I haven't been that active over the last few years but I do have a new okay.  Still I seem to be getting ignored even when the provider is online.

Every provider is different but if you’re being super vague about when you are wanting to meet with them might be the issue, especially with only having ONE recent okay. 

 

I for one, don’t respond to someone I’ve never seen before if they say “hey I want to meet eventually just not sure when,” only because if someone is unsure, that makes me unsure. Of course a lot can go into this but that’s just my opinion 

[Bit Banger]

27 minutes ago, Amber720 said:

Every provider is different but if you’re being super vague about when you are wanting to meet with them might be the issue, especially with only having ONE recent okay. 

 

I for one, don’t respond to someone I’ve never seen before if they say “hey I want to meet eventually just not sure when,” only because if someone is unsure, that makes me unsure. Of course a lot can go into this but that’s just my opinion 

I can understand not wanting to get into a lot of chit-chat with someone who’s not being definite about when they want to see you.  But I would think a quick “Yes, I’m interested. Contact me when you have a definite time.” response to a Pre-Screening Request would be good business practice.  I often am vague about ‘when’ because my schedule is open; I want to see you enough to allow you to specify ‘when’.  If you fail to respond, you don’t get my business.

[contrails]

I had noticed this seems to be happening more often. I have an insane work schedule that can change on a moments notice so I always would want to not schedule but prescreen in case I need to cancel. Really thinking of their time too. I also was ghosted recently a couple times even after 30 perfect references on there as well as a few more here. Dunno.....I'm not going to beg some of these girls for time when others are more business friendly. 

[E.J.England]

53 minutes ago, contrails said:

I had noticed this seems to be happening more often. I have an insane work schedule that can change on a moments notice so I always would want to not schedule but prescreen in case I need to cancel. Really thinking of their time too. I also was ghosted recently a couple times even after 30 perfect references on there as well as a few more here. Dunno.....I'm not going to beg some of these girls for time when others are more business friendly. 

 It scares me to PRESCREEN. I have had clients ask me to PRESCREEN on there. I ignore, that's crazy. How can I SCREEN someone a  month prior... To meet? scary. 

[Bit Banger]

1 hour ago, E.J.England said:

 It scares me to PRESCREEN. I have had clients ask me to PRESCREEN on there. I ignore, that's crazy. How can I SCREEN someone a  month prior... To meet? scary. 

Right.  Like someone’s going to turn from an acceptable client to an axe murderer in a month. The purpose of Pre-Screening is to get the day’s of phone calls & PMs contacting references to out of the way so that when my schedule had a opening I could book quickly. 

If a YL can’t bother to acknowledge such a request she drops to the bottom of my list, maybe even off the list depending on how strong my interest was.

[Amber Allure]

1 hour ago, Bit Banger said:

I can understand not wanting to get into a lot of chit-chat with someone who’s not being definite about when they want to see you.  But I would think a quick “Yes, I’m interested. Contact me when you have a definite time.” response to a Pre-Screening Request would be good business practice.  I often am vague about ‘when’ because my schedule is open; I want to see you enough to allow you to specify ‘when’.  If you fail to respond, you don’t get my business.

I understand what you’re saying. Depending on how the message comes across I would respond. But at the same time I have 25+ people in my email still from last year that pre screened and never saw me. 

[Bit Banger]

34 minutes ago, Amber720 said:

I understand what you’re saying. Depending on how the message comes across I would respond. But at the same time I have 25+ people in my email still from last year that pre screened and never saw me. 

Generically, this becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Since some gals don’t respond, some guys flood the marketplace with requests, taking the first to respond (or the most interesting) and ignoring the others.  The ignored YL don’t bother to respond to the next request.  Creating a vicious cycle, where both parties consider the other time wasters. 

😟

[SD1958]

I appreciate all the responses to this thread.  By reaching out I meant I would send a PM to introduce myself and start a dialog with the lady I would like to see.  I guess I'm old and want to see if we would click.  I would suggest reading my profile but mostly its a way to establish a connection.  I've never asked for a pre-screen in a PM, just using it as a way to introduce myself.  I had a lady once who told me in no uncertain terms she was not into chit chat and that's fine.  The no responses was what was troubling

[Bit Banger]

44 minutes ago, SD1958 said:

I appreciate all the responses to this thread.  By reaching out I meant I would send a PM to introduce myself and start a dialog with the lady I would like to see.  I guess I'm old and want to see if we would click.  I would suggest reading my profile but mostly its a way to establish a connection.  I've never asked for a pre-screen in a PM, just using it as a way to introduce myself.  I had a lady once who told me in no uncertain terms she was not into chit chat and that's fine.  The no responses was what was troubling

On P411 YL are under no obligation to respond to communications, but are “encouraged” (Gina’s word) to respond to official pre-screening & appointment requests.  Reporting YL for failing to respond results in a ‘welfare check’.

While failing to respond is (imho) rude and poor business practice, it is almost justified considering the volume of ‘false leads’ & chit chat the ladies receive.  It’s definitely justified if what they receive is rude, crude, or vulgar.  Sorry ladies, but some fellas just ain’t got no couth.

[Bit Banger]

15 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

...  Reporting YL for failing to respond results in a ‘welfare check’. ...

That should read, “...may result in a ‘welfare check’.”

Missed the edit window.

[frankenthaler91]

IF  there was a secrete "black list" note on your P411 account, no lady would (should) tell you this. 

IMO, if there was something you have done that would warrant black listing, the staff would have just terminated your account. 

[E.J.England]

I can care less who list I'm on to see or not see. If you keep your okays up to date I won't have to verify you a month prior. And that is bullshit. I been verified on all the other boards for years and see bullshit a mile away. 😜

[Kandi Apple]

Any gentleman that contacts me through my preferred 411 and wants to chit chat, quickly catches the drift of I'm not into chit chat.

I get to the point of what time and date were you looking for.

If there is no response with a direct date and time the rest of that gentleman's messages are put on the back burner.

 I don't really give a shit kicks in.

This is a business for me, not a chit chat let's see if we can connect kind of thing...

Use your Preferred411 wisely. It's in your best interest.....

Read the ladies profile and visit her website. Read her reviews and do your own diligence on researching the lady you are contacting.

This way you are not full of questions when you contact her.

Nothing is more irritating than the 21 questions on if we can meet and what's on your menu from a 411 gentleman. 

 

Edited August 27, 2018 by Kandi Apple

[19moose75]

I love p411 for what it is, but have more than once not received responses from PM's or requests/pre-screens. A couple of years ago I had a confirmed appointment where the YL sent me a PM through p411 with her crossroads and a contact # to text when I got there. I never (Ever) received the PM, thought she had ghosted me, went on to make a different date with someone else, only to come home later to a slew of unsavory messages from the YL.

She was a provider I was Very interested in meeting, but since that initial encounter, she has not responded to my attempt at setting the record straight.

I chock that experience up to one that got away, and from now on I include in my pre-screen or appointment requests a seperate method of contact, due to the unreliability of p411's messaging system.

Then if I don't hear back, I know it was just my charming personality (or lack there of) that was the deciding factor.

[Bit Banger]

41 minutes ago, E.J.England said:

1 hour ago, Bit Banger said:

I can care less who list I'm on to see or not see. If you keep your okays up to date I won't have to verify you a month prior. And that is bullshit. I been verified on all the other boards for years and see bullshit a mile away. 😜

^^ These ^^ are your words - NOT mine!  Please use the quote feature properly.

A more direct response to your remarks is:

Fine, run your business any way you want!  I also reserve the right to select the YL with whom I care to share my time and $s.  Have a good day.

[E.J.England]

49 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

^^ These ^^ are your words - NOT mine!  Please use the quote feature properly.

A more direct response to your remarks is:

Fine, run your business any way you want!  I also reserve the right to select the YL with whom I care to share my time and $s.  Have a good day.

Yes they are my words not yours. Who cares who you spend your time and $$ with? I'm pretty sure it will be someone who will Screen you months prior. 

Kiss my 😘

[SD1958]

I've learned a lot of from the inputs on this thread.  lesson 1 don't use the PM function for chit chat.  lesson 2 try not to take this personally "its a business"  Lesson 3 just make an appointment if you click you click (maybe use the PM function for a thank you) but that might be too much chit chat.  Being a romantic is nice but to be honest with myself this is likely not about romance, just have fun

[Rio1]

6 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

I can understand not wanting to get into a lot of chit-chat with someone who’s not being definite about when they want to see you.  But I would think a quick “Yes, I’m interested. Contact me when you have a definite time.” response to a Pre-Screening Request would be good business practice.  I often am vague about ‘when’ because my schedule is open; I want to see you enough to allow you to specify ‘when’.  If you fail to respond, you don’t get my business.

I agree with this.   

I have taken the time and interest to reach out to a YL.   I assume that's why there's a "pre-screening" option to make sure that we would be compatible before I / we commit to a date.   I don't add "chit-chat" or requests , just let my profile and okays do the introduction, with a short, courtesy introduction..   If she doesn't care or want to follow-up with a quick response, then missed opportunity for us both.

[ironman318]

26 minutes ago, SD1958 said:

I've learned a lot of from the inputs on this thread.  lesson 1 don't use the PM function for chit chat.  lesson 2 try not to take this personally "its a business"  Lesson 3 just make an appointment if you click you click (maybe use the PM function for a thank you) but that might be too much chit chat.  Being a romantic is nice but to be honest with myself this is likely not about romance, just have fun

Yep, you are spot on!

[ilovewomen]

Bit,

I think you’re banging your head against a wall here trying to make your point about pre-screening.  She’ll never get it.

But that’s okay, most of us understand pre-screening and how useful it can be.

Edited August 27, 2018 by ilovewomen

[pfunk]

Unfortunately, there are a lot of time-wasting fools who have ruined pre-screening for the rest of us.

If you communicate honestly, openly, and clearly, you'll have a better chance of having someone pre-screen you.

In my small business, I get lots of people who ask for unreasonable things. They get ignored. I'm sorry, but it's not my responsibility to educate prospects on how to communicate, and do business.

"The customer is always right" has been proven to be incorrect a long time ago.

 

[pfunk]

6 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

Bit,

I think you’re banging your head against a wall here trying to make your point about pre-screening.  She’ll never get it.

But that’s okay, most of us understand pre-screening and how useful it can be.

One of the issues I'm seeing is this. You can't tell someone how they have to do business. They get to do business however they want. You get to choose who to do business with. Putting each other down, because you don't like how we do business is foolish, and hurtful, regardless of whether they are the provider, or client.

[Bit Banger]

10 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

Bit,

I think you’re banging your head against a wall here trying to make your point about pre-screening.  She’ll never get it.

But that’s okay, most of us understand pre-screening and how useful it can be.

Oh, I got that. That’s why I haven’t bothered responding to her anymore.  My last response was correct an attribution. 

May this thread RIP.

[richinco]

P411 has always worked for me, and i use just like Kandi suggested, I use that approach even with TOB I kinda always thought that how it worked, I did my research here is the time frame and day I'm looking for and go from there.  Shoot all this time I didn't know chit chat was a thing.

 

I guess when I get there we have plenty of time to chat, I think I fall into the Dear Fifi thread

[Hunter VanDyke]

Some providers don't mind prescreening. I actually do a lot of prescreening. The majority of the time, an appointment follows right after prescreening is complete. I will admit, I don't chit chat with potential clients, for the simple reason the list of guys who want to chat with no intention of ever booking is a mile long, and who's got the time for that. However, once we've met and made a connection, chatting periodically is normal for me.  I have to disagree that this is not about romance. If it was, I doubt I would do very well in this hobby. I just feel like the romance starts after the door opens the first time we meet. It builds from there if a romantic connection is made. Of course, every visit should be fun always. 

[NoCoGeezer]

6 hours ago, SD1958 said:

Lesson 3 just make an appointment if you click you click (maybe use the PM function for a thank you) but that might be too much chit chat.  Being a romantic is nice but to be honest with myself this is likely not about romance, just have fun

This.

Apologies to the ladies, but, lots of talk out there with "making a connection", but bottom line, a business. Both sides. Cynical ahole angle is "paying for her to leave". Sure, nice to make a connection, and in those cases, will come back. But if had fun but no there there, might come back, but, it's business: looking to have fun, "meaningful" is a bonus, and if no clicking, other ladies to have fun with.

Like I said, cynical ahole, but keeps me frosty and a healthy prospective on all this. If looking for a lady for off the books type relationship, going about this all wrong.

[SultryKitten]

6 hours ago, SD1958 said:

I've learned a lot of from the inputs on this thread.  lesson 1 don't use the PM function for chit chat.  lesson 2 try not to take this personally "its a business"  Lesson 3 just make an appointment if you click you click (maybe use the PM function for a thank you) but that might be too much chit chat.  Being a romantic is nice but to be honest with myself this is likely not about romance, just have fun

I am not sure if this is the issue, but what I think the ladies are trying to say is that we don't get paid to chat so with a service like P411,  us putting out a site, ads, and allowing reviews...we are giving you a fair amount of information to peruse to decide if you feel you click with us. So when you start chatting us up, you are wasting our time that we don't get paid for. Connected with this problem is a lot of potential clients are doing this, then wasting our time, and it is making us get a little stricter about how we are running our business.

I know personally that until BP went capoot, that I have never seen this much ghosting, NCNS, guys not getting back to me, disrespect before that, and it has my walls up with caution. Unfortunately, the good apples are getting thrown into the mix.

I think that if you want to get to know a lady more, you are going to have to pay for that time to visit with convo. After all, we are provider's that are getting paid for "Time and Companionship".

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard aka "Sultry Kitten"

[Cecilia]

10 hours ago, SultryKitten said:

I am not sure if this is the issue, but what I think the ladies are trying to say is that we don't get paid to chat so with a service like P411,  us putting out a site, ads, and allowing reviews...we are giving you a fair amount of information to peruse to decide if you feel you click with us. So when you start chatting us up, you are wasting our time that we don't get paid for. Connected with this problem is a lot of potential clients are doing this, then wasting our time, and it is making us get a little stricter about how we are running our business.

I know personally that until BP went capoot, that I have never seen this much ghosting, NCNS, guys not getting back to me, disrespect before that, and it has my walls up with caution. Unfortunately, the good apples are getting thrown into the mix.

I think that if you want to get to know a lady more, you are going to have to pay for that time to visit with convo. After all, we are provider's that are getting paid for "Time and Companionship".

xoxo,

Samantha Sheppard aka "Sultry Kitten"

A million reps for Samantha!