Bora Bora

Dear Fifi: Am I bad at sex?

39 posts in this topic

I was reading an article on google news (Dear Fifi: Am I bad at sex?) and thought about bringing two questions to the board.

1. Do the ladies ever give unrequested advise to the gents when they are really bad at sex, so they can improve?

2. Do guys ever ask how to improve their sexual skills? Is the advise well received?

It's a delicate topic to talk about during an appointment, I know! ...

The mysteries of sex!... :P

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13 minutes ago, Juskiddng said:

Very interested to see where the responses to this post go. 😊

 

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Already know I am bad at sex :D. However I always ask the lady what/how she prefers whatever event is going on. If you are doing something wrong its best if told so it doesn't become an issue

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24 minutes ago, acmb2017 said:

Already know I am bad at sex :D. However I always ask the lady what/how she prefers whatever event is going on. If you are doing something wrong its best if told so it doesn't become an issue

Me too! :)

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The nice thing about this hobby is we are not really trying or have to impress the ladies, we pay for are enjoyment and if that happens success,. 

Yes I know you guys are gonna say you want to please the lady and make her happy but let’s be real they see many different guys and how much enjoyment can they really get from one person? Your just money to them and they have seen it all so doesn’t really matter how good or bad we are they get paid to tell us how wonderful it was even if it wasn’t

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Maybe we can not please the ladies but I am positive you can  upset or hurt them. So why not try and give a little effort back? 

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I've always heard that sex is like golf, you don't have to be good at it to enjoy it!

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24 minutes ago, BadBoy said:

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Grasshopper....  Where is your manly competitive sense, your sense of drive, your ambition?  I don't care if she sees 15 tricks a week, it is my goal to be the best goddamned trick she has seen this entire damned month.  I work at it, request direction, pay attention to instruction, and it makes it all worthwhile.  Nothing like a twisting, screaming orgasm that sends her off the bed in a nice impression of the backstroke onto the floor.  Ahhh, it's like the smell of napalm in the morning....

I don’t think I ever had any girl give me directions 🤔 , I do follow the oos and aahs if that's what you talking about? 

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1 hour ago, BadBoy said:

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Grasshopper....  Where is your manly competitive sense, your sense of drive, your ambition?  I don't care if she sees 15 tricks a week, it is my goal to be the best goddamned trick she has seen this entire damned month.  I work at it, request direction, pay attention to instruction, and it makes it all worthwhile.  Nothing like a twisting, screaming orgasm that sends her off the bed in a nice impression of the backstroke onto the floor.  Ahhh, it's like the smell of napalm in the morning....

This is how it’s done, guys. 🤤😏

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I have no idea if I am 'good' or 'bad'.

 

I have heard ladies say things like 'It is the motion of the ocean', or whatever, but that tells me nothing.

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Sex is a two-way street, whether with a SO or a provider. Why wouldn't a guy want to take some direction/suggestions/hints to make things a little nicer for the lady?

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I am always open to suggestions because, for me, this is a two way encounter.  I believe in shared pleasure, so suggestions that help the "sharing" are fine with me.  Questions such as, " Would you like...?" or "How do you like...?"  or "Let me know if you don't like..." can lead to some fine and fun things happening.  And I think those questions can be asked by any of the involved participants.  Communication can take place in so many ways.  And again, for me, communication is important in increasing the chance of having a very memorable encounter (in the best of ways).

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I like to ask "what pleases you?"...and I too am bad at sex but i look at it this way...i may be bad at it but at least I make up for it with enthusiastism!!!! 

LOL

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I had an amazing appointment recently and when I went South I told her right away to "not be shy about giving direction" but I'm into self-improvement in all aspects of my life. 

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DATY has always been a passion of mine. I’ve read countless books on sexual techniques. As Average said, it’s about shared pleasure. One time a bisexual ASP/friend who knew this about me took the time to improve my skills through explicit instruction.  I’ve been forever thankful. 

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5 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

The nice thing about this hobby is we are not really trying or have to impress the ladies, we pay for are enjoyment and if that happens success,. 

Yes I know you guys are gonna say you want to please the lady and make her happy but let’s be real they see many different guys and how much enjoyment can they really get from one person? Your just money to them and they have seen it all so doesn’t really matter how good or bad we are they get paid to tell us how wonderful it was even if it wasn’t

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." (Henry Ward Beecher)

I'm sure the ladies in the hobby can perfectly tell when the artist is just scribbling the same boring lines everyone else does or, making a beautiful piece of art on their bodies, hearts and souls. In my opinion, it is you who puts yourself in the position of becoming "just money to them" when you forget that they are wonderful women willing to connect, become friends, share a nice time together and, of course enjoy the pleasures of sex.

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19 minutes ago, Bora Bora said:

... In my opinion, it is you who puts yourself in the position of becoming "just money to them" when you forget that they are wonderful women willing to connect, become friends, share a nice time together and, of course enjoy the pleasures of sex.

On the whole I tend to agree with this remark, but would note that some YL have “it’s just business” attitudes.  They’re not interested in developing deeper relationships with their clients. And quite frankly, there are YL that I do not have any interest in developing such relationships either.  Such is the nature of life.

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If isn't about money then ask them if you can have a free beer and what that gets you lol! 

My girl I see all the time says I eat so good I shouldnt charge you but at the end of it guess what, she wants her money

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1 minute ago, stevie-2249 said:

If isn't about money then ask them if you can have a free beer and what that gets you lol! 

My girl I see all the time says I eat so good I shouldnt charge you but at the end of it guess what, she wants her money

This may surprise you, but sometimes freebies do happen. Not because you ask for them, but because a friend wants to surprise you by doing something special for you.  But more likely a gentleman gets dinner or drinks off-the-clock.  I’ve even had ladies cook for me or take me to breakfast. 

Yes, this IS business for the ladies.  I don’t EXPECT them rock my world for free, any more than I expect free legal or electrical work from a friend.  They deserve compensation.

What is almost always “free” when you’ve developed a personal relationship with a provider?   Your sessions become more free-form, flowing from one activity to another as you know each other’s tastes & limits. You tend to get more Fun Factor.

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18 minutes ago, Bit Banger said:

This may surprise you, but sometimes freebies do happen. Not because you ask for them, but because a friend wants to surprise you by doing something special for you.  But more likely a gentleman gets dinner or drinks off-the-clock.  I’ve even had ladies cook for me or take me to breakfast. 

Yes, this IS business for the ladies.  I don’t EXPECT them rock my world for free, any more than I expect free legal or electrical work from a friend.  They deserve compensation.

What is almost always “free” when you’ve developed a personal relationship with a provider?   Your sessions become more free-form, flowing from one activity to another as you know each other’s tastes & limits. You tend to get more Fun Factor.

Absolutely right

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5 hours ago, stevie-2249 said:

If isn't about money then ask them if you can have a free beer and what that gets you lol! 

My girl I see all the time says I eat so good I shouldnt charge you but at the end of it guess what, she wants her money

She says the same thing to me...

 

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OMG, I am only reading the gentleman’s responses. How about you ladies chiming in please. Very good topic!

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14 hours ago, Bit Banger said:

This may surprise you, but sometimes freebies do happen. Not because you ask for them, but because a friend wants to surprise you by doing something special for you.  But more likely a gentleman gets dinner or drinks off-the-clock.  I’ve even had ladies cook for me or take me to breakfast. 

Yes, this IS business for the ladies.  I don’t EXPECT them rock my world for free, any more than I expect free legal or electrical work from a friend.  They deserve compensation.

What is almost always “free” when you’ve developed a personal relationship with a provider?   Your sessions become more free-form, flowing from one activity to another as you know each other’s tastes & limits. You tend to get more Fun Factor.

Bit, if I had more rep points and it were allowed, I'd give you 3 thumbs up for this post.  I get the business side of this, but that does not preclude connecting in ways that are not "hobby related".  Like you, I never expect anything for free.  And yet I've sure enjoyed having some fine company at breakfast, at lunch or at dinner that includes some great conversation because we know one another.  I've brought ladies food that I've cooked and had them give me food they cooked.  We've shared life stories, celebrated success and commiserated about struggles.  Sometimes we've gotten together just to chat at a coffee shop.

There are ladies here that I truly like and admire, and I am mindful to separate "the business side" from the "we know each other side". For me, both sides are important and valuable...and fun !!  And I smile when I get a call or a text asking about getting together just to get together (non-hobby related fun).  I'm not married (divorced), unattached and enjoy my friends....ladies or gents.

And your last 3 sentences are spot on.  When playtime is involved, some extra good fun surely happens.  Because we know a something about one another.

I understand that everyone has different ways to approach this hobby, with different expectations and desires.  So what I like or believe is not for everyone.  And that's fine.  Different strokes for different folks.  There should be enough variety of perspectives and approaches for everyone to get their needs/wants satisfied.

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12 hours ago, Bravo1 said:

She says the same thing to me...

 

Hehe. Now that's funny! 😂

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The best advice I can give is-practice,practice ,practice ! The more you practice sex, the better you will get.🍀

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A minefield topic ladies are wise to avoid. The male ego is a HUGE part of this business and all guys wanna feel like they are a hell of a stick-man, or at least lick-man....even if they are lousy. Tips? Lessons? Advice? Honest criticism? Even guys who might SAY they want it do not REALLY want it, and a smart lady, if asked...should LIE. 

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Feel like you could improve? Just ask her for some pointers!

Guys remember every woman is different! We all like different sizes, moves, and motions!😂

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13 hours ago, SabrinaLynn aka KatieCreme said:

Feel like you could improve? Just ask her for some pointers!

Guys remember every woman is different! We all like different sizes, moves, and motions!😂

Every lady needs a instruction book so we know what you like, what one lady likes, the next one may not, and sometimes with the little time we have we may not be able to be good

Edited by stevie-2249
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