Posted July 29, 2018 On 7/21/2018 at 7:14 AM, Strange_Ice said: I know it might be an unpopular opinion... And I might be more old fashioned but I think cheating is cheating and if you have someone you call your SO, be it wife or girlfriend, you should never be unfaithful with them (it also goes for women and their SO too). Personally I don't care what the reason may be. I would say that if there is a mutual agreement and you both are fine with an open relationship then that's something different. And if one is not getting what they want/need from their SO they need to figure out how to make things work by either staring or at least try to have more intament (spelled wrong I know but can't figure it out lol) time together, or creating that open relationship where the one who is not getting what they need can get it someway, or realizing its not working and end things. But that is just my few and I think I look at it in more of an old fashioned and maybe callus way....... I agree with you for some of this. But not all.........I wonder with your post why you might be on this site in the first place, if the thought of "cheating" repels you so much?? It makes one think......However... There are many of us who's wives or SO for whatever reason want us to be happy sexually, and they either want to participate in our endeavors or not (keep it on the down low) My one complaint with your post is this: Not every rule applies to every couple, just because you think something it taboo or you might be uncomfortable with it does not make you right. Again, why are you here in the first place? However, there are many happily married couples on here that like to play with others and have a good time, and there are many that turn a blind eye to playing by one's self. Personally, I really don't care either way, who am I to judge? Some couples live a bad life and for what ever reason decide to live together in a sexless union. Sad but true in a lot of circumstances. Do you judge them as cheaters? I hope not... My point is this, if these things make you uncomfortable, please find another site to chat at, there are many others. If you can see my point, there might be some hope for you and if said, welcome here! What's it going to be? You decide. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 29, 2018 1 hour ago, sparkey600 said: ... There are many of us who's wives or SO for whatever reason want us to be happy sexually, and they either want to participate in our endeavors or not (keep it on the down low) A long time friend & provider (now retired) told me of a wife who helped her husband select an ASP to be his mistress. The wife even invited her to his funeral. Remember, marriage is a contract. Not all such contracts contain a “monogamy” clause. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 29, 2018 In some cases (in mine and I have had providers tell me it's true for other clients), having experiences with a provider are a means to a specific end. They preserve a marriage that is good in every way but which lacks the possibility of sex. I honestly don't get why anyone on this board would be judging another person's life or motivations whether consumer or provider. If you feel bad about doing what we do in the hobby, get out and take your hangups with you as you let the rest of us enjoy the benefits we find here. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 29, 2018 For me, it's simple. Dating = no hobbying. Single = probably. Divorces ARE expensive (I know from a couple of experiences), and I didn't cheat when I was married - it didn't seem right even if the urge was there. That's me, and that said, I'm in no position to judge the choices of others. If it's not hurting anyone or bothering me, why should I care? Adults makes choices (except when it's forced, trafficking, etc), but for most of us, it's just a choice made by a thinking being. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 29, 2018 So, I was wondering when Demure Morman was going to make a return appearance. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 29, 2018 Man, I really do like this board. In all seriousness, I've learned a lot about life and been exposed to points of view I'd've never come across otherwise. And in a place I wouldn't expect it, either. It's real cool that so many good, thoughtful answers came about because of what was such an unusual question -- considering the forum we're in. @gr8owl : you make a good point with the lyrics. I can see how they're applicable. (Sorry for being testy with you earlier. Just got back from a tough drive I25 is all I can say.) @Danielle Rae : (wiping up the coffee I just splorted out my nose.) Talking of Dangerfield and the boys, have you thought about a second career in stand up? Seriously? It's pretty HI-lairous, what you did just there. Didn't see it coming -- at all. Gold, comedy gold. Now, I don't know you, and it's not likely we'll ever meet. And it's even less likely now, unless you shop regularly at the H Mart. It doesn't look as if we'll ever agree, and that's okay, too, considering that my actions or your actions won't affect either of us personally. And honestly, you really do have my sympathy for going through an experience that has clearly messed with your feelings in a big way. But just so everyone else knows (because they must care so much, ha ha): I've never requested BB or a freebie. The first would be insane and the second would be robbery. And, just so ya know, I've had lots of great times with providers, nearly all of them women who were pretty, adventurous and cool, and I'm grateful to all of them. In fact, I only ever had one truly bad time -- just lucky, I guess. Came for the sex, stayed for the conversation, you could say. And second, you gotta believe me when I say that I respect -- on an ethical and moral basis -- providers. Ya'll are up there with firefighters, paramedics and nurses, in my book. Sure, there's a few bad ones, just like there's a few bad apples in every barrel. But I like to think I model myself after Jesus, at least in that way, whose best friend was Mary Magdalene, after all. Finally, a sincere thank you for proving once again that the world is a whole lot bigger and trickier than my ideas about it are -- well, that, and that you just can't assume anything about a person based on that person's job. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2018 I meant serious, monogamous dating.:) 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2018 On 7/28/2018 at 6:57 PM, fishndude57 said: Personally I think there are many hypocrite replies on this thread. OP 1st, and it's easy to find who else. I’m going to give it one more shot and try to clarify my position on this subject. I am not and do not judge anyone in particular – well I take that back. The gentleman who felt the need to share with us just how proud he is of his cheating ways and went so far as to compare himself to Jesus - yes, I will admit I view him as a self-absorbed, morally- bankrupt, immature jackass. And that is exactly how he wants to be portrayed as far as I can tell - so good for him. However, beyond that - my comments and my opinions on this thread were not meant to judge anyone. And the fact that I am a provider doesn’t make me a hypocrite. Just because I am a provider doesn’t mean that I must condone, understand and/or justify the hurting of an unsuspecting SO who is doing his/her part in what is understood to be a monogamous relationship. And it is those situations (where the man is getting sex from his spouse but is still making the conscious repeated choice to lie, sneak and cheat for no other reason than ‘because he wants variety and can get away with it’) that I have stated my opinion about. That doesn’t make me a villain. It doesn’t make me a hypocrite. I am a provider and I am also a human being with the same emotions as any other woman. I believe the majority of hobbyists here are men with a conscious and can understand what I am trying to say. Do I think all cheaters are morally bankrupt? Absolutely not and I never said anything remotely to that effect. But just because the wife who is otherwise fulfilling her side of the marriage yet cannot fulfill his “desire for strange” doesn’t know he is lying and betraying her and sleeping around behind her back – does not make it okay. It does not lessen the selfishness of his actions nor does it make the disrespect somehow respectful. If those men would take a minute and honestly put themselves on the other side of the situation and realize just how painful, emotionally scarring and truly damaging it is to be on the other side of his actions, I don’t see how anyone can truly say with an honest heart that is “okay.” That’s all. Does that make me better than anyone else? No. I am far from perfect. But I do my best to treat people the way I would like to be treated. Especially the people I love. Good night TOB. Xoxo 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2018 To those who have suggested that I find another line of work simply because of my opinion; as well as to those who see me as a hypocrite, I will say that my role as a provider is not effected by the choices of others, the service I provide is just that a service. I am not lying or betraying anyone. I have not made a commitment to my client's spouses. The fact that I am a provider does not make me any less entitled to an opinion. Does it? 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2018 I'm ready for something light & zen http://www.imagefully.com/jordan-carver-yoga-in-the-park-picture/ 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2018 7 hours ago, Danielle Rae said: ... The fact that I am a provider does not make me any less entitled to an opinion. Does it? Women with strong opinions are much more interesting!! 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted July 30, 2018 37 minutes ago, Bora Bora said: Women with strong opinions are much more interesting!! ^^^^^ 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
