Cheating

[pfunk]

3 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

Be careful, your morality is showing

Pot meet Kettle...

[Strange_Ice]

Now if we can be adults here and just agree that we all have different opinions but we don't intend to judge each other (and that is what is so great about this community) and  drop the subject and move on that would be great

[Bootsce]

Periodically someone feels the need to express their opinion from their preceved higher vantage point. What’s the point with this one?  Will any say “why yes he is right”?

as we all know the answer is no. I can only assume the purpose is either manic behavior (three rambling posts in less than an hour followed by other long winded deep dives from the OP) or some form of compensation for personal experience. 

In either case how does anyone benefit?

[ilovewomen]

On 7/26/2018 at 7:21 AM, Strange_Ice said:

 Now if we can be adults here and just agree that we all have different opinions but we don't intend to judge each other (and that is what is so great about this community) and  drop the subject and move on that would be great

I agree 100% with your last sentence. We are all adults. We have different opinions. Let’s drop the subject and move on and HAVE FUN!

[CountryGentleman]

On 7/21/2018 at 3:26 PM, Bit Banger said:

Because in so many other ways (financial, emotional support, Family, etc.) the relationship at home does work.  When I was married most of my needs were met, just not the sexual.  So I was looking for that sexual release w/o all the commitments our Puritan society expects.

THIS

[CountryGentleman]

I need a popcorn emoji!

[Don John]

I kinda hate to break in here now when it’s all kumbaya and chill. 

 

But. Let’s go back to the OP’s original question: Why do cheaters cheat?

 

Gol durn, why in the heck DO they cheat? 

 

OR: Why do I “cheat’? Because I do. I have. I like to cheat. I really do. I pay good money and invest a ridiculous amount of time in what you call cheating. I’m surprised no one’s stepped up to the plate to defend it. (I swear, for a hobbyist board it gets really pious sometimes.) And you know what? I still love my wife. Still sleep with her. 

 

But first, let’s look at the verb: “cheat.” You know, the US of A is about the only country that refers to relationships outside of the main, or legal, or regular one as “cheating”? The word itself betrays a prejudice. Other countries it’s more like “playing around” or “having one on the side” or “a little extra” or “my regular one” versus “my legal one.” Suddenly, it’s a more neutral activity.

 

But let’s put the linguistics aside.

 

The answer is: there is no single answer. Starting with bio-mechanics, some people have affairs because they’re bipolar. A common behavior for men and women in the manic stage is having sex. Others have been abused as children, so the wiring around sex is different.

 

Some people do it to punish their SO. To get revenge. To hurt them. Yeah, people are nasty that way. No one the OP knows, of course. They all walk blameless and immaculate.

 

Or, out of boredom, that’s a common one for full on cheating. And that’s something that, unless you’ve been in a steady relationship for longer that, oh, four or seven years, you really don’t know anything about.  Sorry, seeing the same person across the table, in the bathroom, farting around, gaining weight, losing weight, bitching about the same things. That’s not the whole relationship, but are we gonna pretend that doesn’t get old? Compared to someone who’s fresh, who’s bullshit you don’t know, and who treats you a little better?

 

That’s just for starters. Let’s talk about pure unadulterated lust. Because, golly, that happens too! Just like that! And if you’re not a toad ugly son of a gun, jeepers, a gal just might feel that way to you, too, and you could be far from home with a few drinks in ya, and no likelihood of getting busted.

 

And relationships have their ups and downs.  Doesn’t mean you want to pack it in because your boners are going the wrong place. Like, are you suggesting that every time I get hot and bothered by some babe, I should pack my stuff up in storage, destroy my marriage, freak out my kids and never see half my relatives again? 

 

It sucks to be cheated on. But only if you know about it. 

 

My advice, OP: read a few damn books. There are several hundred, just about cheating. You could start with the Bible itself. Ol’ King David sure got himself in a load of trouble and why? That dusky girl. What can you say? Passions strike hard, dude.

 

Then read some history books. You’ll find out that lots of societies, successful ones, too, had a totally different take on monogamy — not just Mormons or Muslims. Reflect that women don’t die in childbirth so much, (thank God and science) so we me don’t have a series of marriages they way they did in the past.

 

Hope that helps clears up a few things for your troubled mind there, OP.

 

Edited July 26, 2018 by Don John
typo

[stevie-2249]

2 hours ago, Don John said:

I kinda hate to break in here now when it’s all kumbaya and chill. 

 

But. Let’s go back to the OP’s original question: Why do cheaters cheat?

 

Gol durn, why in the heck DO they cheat? 

 

OR: Why do I “cheat’? Because I do. I have. I like to cheat. I really do. I pay good money and invest a ridiculous amount of time in what you call cheating. I’m surprised no one’s stepped up to the plate to defend it. (I swear, for a hobbyist board it gets really pious sometimes.) And you know what? I still love my wife. Still sleep with her. 

 

But first, let’s look at the verb: “cheat.” You know, the US of A is about the only country that refers to relationships outside of the main, or legal, or regular one as “cheating”? The word itself betrays a prejudice. Other countries it’s more like “playing around” or “having one on the side” or “a little extra” or “my regular one” versus “my legal one.” Suddenly, it’s a more neutral activity.

 

But let’s put the linguistics aside.

 

The answer is: there is no single answer. Starting with bio-mechanics, some people have affairs because they’re bipolar. A common behavior for men and women in the manic stage is having sex. Others have been abused as children, so the wiring around sex is different.

 

Some people do it to punish their SO. To get revenge. To hurt them. Yeah, people are nasty that way. No one the OP knows, of course. They all walk blameless and immaculate.

 

Or, out of boredom, that’s a common one for full on cheating. And that’s something that, unless you’ve been in a steady relationship for longer that, oh, four or seven years, you really don’t know anything about.  Sorry, seeing the same person across the table, in the bathroom, farting around, gaining weight, losing weight, bitching about the same things. That’s not the whole relationship, but are we gonna pretend that doesn’t get old? Compared to someone who’s fresh, who’s bullshit you don’t know, and who treats you a little better?

 

That’s just for starters. Let’s talk about pure unadulterated lust. Because, golly, that happens too! Just like that! And if you’re not a toad ugly son of a gun, jeepers, a gal just might feel that way to you, too, and you could be far from home with a few drinks in ya, and no likelihood of getting busted.

 

And relationships have their ups and downs.  Doesn’t mean you want to pack it in because your boners are going the wrong place. Like, are you suggesting that every time I get hot and bothered by some babe, I should pack my stuff up in storage, destroy my marriage, freak out my kids and never see half my relatives again? 

 

It sucks to be cheated on. But only if you know about it. 

 

My advice, OP: read a few damn books. There are several hundred, just about cheating. You could start with the Bible itself. Ol’ King David sure got himself in a load of trouble and why? That dusky girl. What can you say? Passions strike hard, dude.

 

Then read some history books. You’ll find out that lots of societies, successful ones, too, had a totally different take on monogamy — not just Mormons or Muslims. Reflect that women don’t die in childbirth so much, (thank God and science) so we me don’t have a series of marriages they way they did in the past.

 

Hope that helps clears up a few things for your troubled mind there, OP.

 

Couldn't of said any better

[Strange_Ice]

2 hours ago, Don John said:

I kinda hate to break in here now when it’s all kumbaya and chill. 

 

But. Let’s go back to the OP’s original question: Why do cheaters cheat?

 

Gol durn, why in the heck DO they cheat? 

 

OR: Why do I “cheat’? Because I do. I have. I like to cheat. I really do. I pay good money and invest a ridiculous amount of time in what you call cheating. I’m surprised no one’s stepped up to the plate to defend it. (I swear, for a hobbyist board it gets really pious sometimes.) And you know what? I still love my wife. Still sleep with her. 

 

But first, let’s look at the verb: “cheat.” You know, the US of A is about the only country that refers to relationships outside of the main, or legal, or regular one as “cheating”? The word itself betrays a prejudice. Other countries it’s more like “playing around” or “having one on the side” or “a little extra” or “my regular one” versus “my legal one.” Suddenly, it’s a more neutral activity.

 

But let’s put the linguistics aside.

 

The answer is: there is no single answer. Starting with bio-mechanics, some people have affairs because they’re bipolar. A common behavior for men and women in the manic stage is having sex. Others have been abused as children, so the wiring around sex is different.

 

Some people do it to punish their SO. To get revenge. To hurt them. Yeah, people are nasty that way. No one the OP knows, of course. They all walk blameless and immaculate.

 

Or, out of boredom, that’s a common one for full on cheating. And that’s something that, unless you’ve been in a steady relationship for longer that, oh, four or seven years, you really don’t know anything about.  Sorry, seeing the same person across the table, in the bathroom, farting around, gaining weight, losing weight, bitching about the same things. That’s not the whole relationship, but are we gonna pretend that doesn’t get old? Compared to someone who’s fresh, who’s bullshit you don’t know, and who treats you a little better?

 

That’s just for starters. Let’s talk about pure unadulterated lust. Because, golly, that happens too! Just like that! And if you’re not a toad ugly son of a gun, jeepers, a gal just might feel that way to you, too, and you could be far from home with a few drinks in ya, and no likelihood of getting busted.

 

And relationships have their ups and downs.  Doesn’t mean you want to pack it in because your boners are going the wrong place. Like, are you suggesting that every time I get hot and bothered by some babe, I should pack my stuff up in storage, destroy my marriage, freak out my kids and never see half my relatives again? 

 

It sucks to be cheated on. But only if you know about it. 

 

My advice, OP: read a few damn books. There are several hundred, just about cheating. You could start with the Bible itself. Ol’ King David sure got himself in a load of trouble and why? That dusky girl. What can you say? Passions strike hard, dude.

 

Then read some history books. You’ll find out that lots of societies, successful ones, too, had a totally different take on monogamy — not just Mormons or Muslims. Reflect that women don’t die in childbirth so much, (thank God and science) so we me don’t have a series of marriages they way they did in the past.

 

Hope that helps clears up a few things for your troubled mind there, OP.

 

I'd actually like to thank you for chiming in with that whole thing, especially about being in a serious relationship for longer years of more then 7,8+ years and the whole thing was actually pretty informative and put in a more respectful manor and more of something I actually needed to help understand even if at least a just little more.

[tide32]

On Monday, July 23, 2018 at 11:57 AM, BadBoy said:

So helpful for the single people to give advice as to how the married people should feel.  Interesting that they are here in the first place.

Could be the reason there single. 

[Bravo1]

On 7/21/2018 at 8:39 AM, Strange_Ice said:

I actually think you may be in the majority, and are probably correct, which is why I don't understand the whole concept. In my opinion if it's not working why still stay and not just go your separate ways and find someone that does meet your needs instead of sneaking around and hiding things where there is the potential of getting caught and causing more drama for all parties that could be avoided to begin with

Because it is a huge financial undertaking to split and it breaks up the family.  Not speaking for all here but if a hobbyist is just needing some human interaction to placate him and everything else in a hobbyists marriage is ok, why disrupt everything due to one short-coming in the relationship?  No single person satisfies every need a person has, for men that is typically sex.  For women, it could be sex or it could be to have someone who listens to them or who will engage in conversation more.  If all else in a marriage is decent, or tolerable, it's not worth ending it.  

Again, not speaking for anyone but myself. 

[Don John]

Strange_Ice -- that's a very gentlemanly and polite response to what was maybe a little less than a measured and mature answer to your question. Thank you for that. 

And if you ever need more information about any one of the seven deadly sins, please consider me your go-to guy.

[Bravo1]

On 7/21/2018 at 9:26 AM, Bit Banger said:

Because in so many other ways (financial, emotional support, Family, etc.) the relationship at home does work.  When I was married most of my needs were met, just not the sexual.  So I was looking for that sexual release w/o all the commitments our Puritan society expects.

That's me currently and I love that it appears that for many people, the idea of monogamy is becoming admittedly unrealistic.  Open marriages are becoming more common, polyamory or just being more open with allowing partners to explore.  Kind of makes me wish I was born 25 years later.

[Bit Banger]

Marriage is a legal construct of a paternalistic society designed to keep wealth within a family. It’s supposed to ensure that offspring are the husband’s progeny. Proving maternity is easy; paternity more difficult, even with today’s DNA testing.  Enforced monogamy was a blow against the ruling matriarchs of more “primitive” societies. 

With today’s increased longevity we tend to practice serial monogamy.  Discarding (destroying?) one relationship before we enter another, instead of recognizing that love is infinite.  Do we stop loving our current children when another is born?  No!  Family additions are welcomed with open arms.  Why should it not be the same for SOs? Just because our Puritan forefathers eschewed the pleasures of life does not mean we have to do the same.

———-

Late night ramblings of an open mind.

 

[Bullseye73]

On 7/21/2018 at 7:14 AM, Strange_Ice said:

I know it might be an unpopular opinion... And I might be more old fashioned but I think cheating is cheating and if you have someone you call your SO, be it wife or girlfriend, you should never be unfaithful with them (it also goes for women and their SO too). Personally I don't care what the reason may be. I would say that if there is a mutual agreement and you both are fine with an open relationship then that's something different. And if one is not getting what they want/need from their SO they need to figure out how to make things work by either staring or at least try to have more intament (spelled wrong I know but can't figure it out lol) time together, or creating that open relationship where the one who is not getting what they need can get it someway, or realizing its not working and end things. But that is just my few and I think I look at it in more of an old fashioned and maybe callus way....... 

When you start your paragraph using that very first sentence, it’s a good idea just to keep it to yourself at that point.  Yes, you are entitled to your opinion.  Yes, opinions are like buttholes.  Everyone has them but we don’t need to voice them.  Your opinion, like your butthole doesn’t need to be shown to the world.  Also, you’re posting this to a site that is totally immoral if you want to play the cards you’re playing.  By your standard of “cheating is bad”, then so should be sex without marriage, sex without love, showing or acting upon lustfull behavior.  

Look; when you are married for a long time, sex becomes the last thing on some people’s mind.  I saw a quote this morning that says “when in a committed relationship, you will only have sex as many times as the person who wants it the least.” 

I love my wife with all my heart.  Don’t want to live without her.  However, she doesn’t really think of sex as necessity.  She’s a wife, a mom, a career woman, a coach and a mentor.  We have dinner every Friday night without our kids there, we call it date night.  We have a healthy relationship and care deeply for each other.  She’s tired at night once the kids go to bed and we both wake up at 4 am for work so there isn’t much time for sex, let alone my favorite primal desire of oral sex.  These things become another “chore” to her.  So yes, I lie, I cheat, I’m immoral and I deceive her and I’m not proud.  Not at all.  But this is how I keep myself from losing my patience with her and starting fights about her not wanting to have sex with me. 

I don’t think anyone grows up thinking that they’ll be the kind of person who lies, cheats, sleeps with ASP’s does drugs, etc.  but when my kids were born, it became immediately clear to me that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my family together and happy.  I’ll steal if they are hungry and I am broke (this hasn’t happened) I’d kill if someone put their lives in danger, and the most true is that I cheat because I have urges, God given desires and primal instincts that are not “morally correct” in society but I’ll be damned if I decide to divorce my wife over her not really having the same sexual desires as me.  

[Bit Banger]

4 hours ago, Bullseye73 said:

...  But this is how I keep myself from losing my patience with her and starting fights about her not wanting to have sex with me. 

^^ Bullseye gets it ^^

Which is better for all concerned:

• Cheating to get some occasional nookie?
• Fighting because she doesn’t want (or can’t have) sex?
• Dissolving the marriage & finding a different, willing partner?

With the former, you may dislike yourself but your relationship is intact and life is good  With the latter two, everybody’s life is hell.  Seeing escorts is far better (IMHO) than having an affair with all the emotional entanglements.

 

[Bullseye73]

On 7/26/2018 at 7:21 AM, Strange_Ice said:

See this topic is just like a number of others where no side will ever come out on top.... A perfect example would be abortion. I would say I'm a hundred percent against it and would never do it myself, but would I ever judge someone else for getting one? Never because it is a personal choice and just like cheating, you could point out tons of different reasons on why one would get it. And there ARE very valid reasons for it but that is for the would be parents to make that choice for themselves, so where I would personaly say it is wrong I could never vote to make it illegal either because like cheating it is something the individual has to decide and live with and no one else should take that choice away. That is the exact same view and opinions I have on this topic and the resulting conversation that could be had about that would be the same as this, Now if we can be adults here and just agree that we all have different opinions but we don't intend to judge each other (and that is what is so great about this community) and  drop the subject and move on that would be great

I appreciate that you’ve said “drop it and move on”.  Going back to the top of this post, where youve said that you wouldn’t judge people on it: you bring up abortion.  Great, you’re open minded about everyone’s freedoms but you don’t go to a forum for pro-abortion and post about how it’s wrong but follow that with “it’s just not my thing”. That’s sort of what you’ve done here with this forum post....just sayin. 

[Bora Bora]

"Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all" (William Shakespeare, Henry VI)

[gr8owl]

 

What did that have to do with thread? Well,  high on list of things I would rather do than argue this topic - listen to Eric's take on a classic.  Which would you rather?

[coolhand luke]

On 7/26/2018 at 4:12 AM, Danielle Rae said:

Furthermore, my personal opinion is just that - my personal opinion. It doesn't affect my role as a provider.   I provide a service and that service is not influenced by my personal opinion.   The personal lives of my clientelle are none of my business.  Rather, my personal opinions have influenced my personal choice to not be in a relationship.  Think about it - if providers' personal opinions influenced their work - they wouldn't be intimate with a great percentage of their clients.   And that is not said to be nasty or cruel - I am simply being real.  

I have to agree with the opinions of both Danielle and ice.  They are just putting their opinions out there. I don't think either was being judgemental.  Obviously theirs is different from others.  I am not judging anyone for what they do.  gosh only knows the things I have done and thought that are not mainstream or popular.  the ladies are just providing a service.  How many of us have had a job that we did not truly like but did it anyway and maybe even with a good attitude while at that job.  Just saying opinions are personal.

[Don John]

So, Gr8owl, just why in the heck are you even commenting on the thread? Did some little gremlin  put a gun to your head and force you to read the danged thread which is, for sure, clearly labeled — and this is real funny — comment on how you don’t wanna read the thread? And then post some totally irrelevant clip when you could have chosen like a million songs about cheating? At least that’ve been, oh, kinda witty instead of just whining about a completely voluntary activity that you yourself signed up for?

And why in the holy HECK didn’t you post Layla ? I mean, if you have to post, put up something on point, dude! Now Layla, that’s some relevant ancient boomer stuff there about the worst kinda cheating you can do. 

Then you coulda mused about, oh, heroin, and how pretty Patty Boyd was and how crooked and complicated the ways of the human heart are, to the point  you’ll fuck over your best friend for the love of a fine woman.

But, nah. Guess that stuff just bores the crap out of ya.

So why not find someone to play parcheesi with or do some more searches on YouTube, or find another thread about, oh, rates, or hygiene, or manscaping that you can use to blind us with your brilliance?

Edited July 28, 2018 by Don John
Typos

[gr8owl]

25 minutes ago, Don John said:

So, Gr8owl, just why in the heck are you even commenting on the thread?

I did not know if you would get it, but I did not expect you to lose your mind over it.  I will translate one part for you ..... time to move on instead of pissin and moaning at each other with no chance of "winning" the argument.  Everyone has but oneself to answer for, aint none of my business what somebody else chooses long as it don't hurt me.  But by all means keep on keepin on.  

ps - don't know what i did to you, but watch the blood pressure, its bad for you.

[Bit Banger]

2 hours ago, Don John said:

... And why in the holy HECK didn’t you post Layla ? I mean, if you have to post, put up something on point, dude! Now Layla, that’s some relevant ancient boomer stuff there about the worst kinda cheating you can do.  ...

Try this favorite of a friend -

😁

Not my message, but I do like the tune.  It’s a great slow dance.

Edited July 28, 2018 by Bit Banger

[Danielle Rae]

On 7/26/2018 at 4:31 PM, Don John said:

I kinda hate to break in here now when it’s all kumbaya and chill. 

 

But. Let’s go back to the OP’s original question: Why do cheaters cheat?

 

Gol durn, why in the heck DO they cheat? 

 

OR: Why do I “cheat’? Because I do. I have. I like to cheat. I really do. I pay good money and invest a ridiculous amount of time in what you call cheating. I’m surprised no one’s stepped up to the plate to defend it. (I swear, for a hobbyist board it gets really pious sometimes.) And you know what? I still love my wife. Still sleep with her. 

 

But first, let’s look at the verb: “cheat.” You know, the US of A is about the only country that refers to relationships outside of the main, or legal, or regular one as “cheating”? The word itself betrays a prejudice. Other countries it’s more like “playing around” or “having one on the side” or “a little extra” or “my regular one” versus “my legal one.” Suddenly, it’s a more neutral activity.

 

But let’s put the linguistics aside.

 

The answer is: there is no single answer. Starting with bio-mechanics, some people have affairs because they’re bipolar. A common behavior for men and women in the manic stage is having sex. Others have been abused as children, so the wiring around sex is different.

 

Some people do it to punish their SO. To get revenge. To hurt them. Yeah, people are nasty that way. No one the OP knows, of course. They all walk blameless and immaculate.

 

Or, out of boredom, that’s a common one for full on cheating. And that’s something that, unless you’ve been in a steady relationship for longer that, oh, four or seven years, you really don’t know anything about.  Sorry, seeing the same person across the table, in the bathroom, farting around, gaining weight, losing weight, bitching about the same things. That’s not the whole relationship, but are we gonna pretend that doesn’t get old? Compared to someone who’s fresh, who’s bullshit you don’t know, and who treats you a little better?

 

That’s just for starters. Let’s talk about pure unadulterated lust. Because, golly, that happens too! Just like that! And if you’re not a toad ugly son of a gun, jeepers, a gal just might feel that way to you, too, and you could be far from home with a few drinks in ya, and no likelihood of getting busted.

 

And relationships have their ups and downs.  Doesn’t mean you want to pack it in because your boners are going the wrong place. Like, are you suggesting that every time I get hot and bothered by some babe, I should pack my stuff up in storage, destroy my marriage, freak out my kids and never see half my relatives again? 

 

It sucks to be cheated on. But only if you know about it. 

 

My advice, OP: read a few usky girl. What can you say? Passions strike hard, dude.

 

Then read some history books. You’ll find out that lots of societies, successful ones, too, had a totally different take on monogamy — not just Mormons or Muslims. Reflect that women don’t die in childbirth so much, (thank God and science) so we me don’t have a series of marriages they way they did in the past.

 

Hope that helps clears up a few things for your troubled mind there, OP.

 

Wow.  You are a real prize  - Al Bundy, Rodney Dangerfield, and Andrew Dice Clay wrapped into one!.   Your response shows an emotional maturity level of a toddler.  You do what you do because you want to and because you can. Period.  Similar to a 4 year old who can't see beyond themselves or their immediate wants.   

Frankly, all of your reasons for cheating are actually the very reasons you should remain single and avoid commitment.   If you don't agree with the concept of marriage as it is then why in the world would you agree to partake in it?  You want the freedoms that single men have  and she wants a commitment - so your answer is screw it, I'll just marry her and let her believe that's what she is getting but in reality, I'll be lying my way through it for as long as I can get away with it?  And that's okay?   That is just plain sad.  Extremely selfish and disrespectful all the way around.  And if after four (4) years, you are already bored with sitting across the table from the same person...nevermind.    Your response proves every point I have.  Clearly, you are thinking about yourself and only yourself.  You have zero regard for the other person involved.  Let me guess, you're also one of guys pushing for 'BB services' and "a discounted rate for being so good looking?" smh

[Admiral C]

On 7/23/2018 at 10:25 AM, Danielle Rae said:

 

And it's not so much the "emotionless roll in the hay with a hooker" that I find offensive but rather the blatant deception, dishonesty, sneaky games a..d all the other fuckery that it entails.   Speaking for myself, if I were in a relationship and my SO was hiring hookers simply because he  "wanted variety,"  he should be man enough to say so and give me the choice that I am entitled to make as to whether or not I want to be in a relationship with him.  That's all.  xoxo

OK...I realize that a genuine relationship is WAY more than just sex. Obviously. But I have to say...and it's not just kissing up to the lady......If a guy is in a relationship with YOU, which one assumes opens another whole menu...AND THEN he wants VARIETY with other girls?? He must be damned hard to please...

[fishndude57]

Personally I think there are many hypocrite replies on this thread. OP 1st, and it's easy to find who else. 

[Danielle Rae]

1 hour ago, fishndude57 said:

Personally I think there are many hypocrite replies on this thread. OP 1st, and it's easy to find who else. 

I'm sorry if you think my responses are hypocritical.  I am not in a relationship.  I am not lying or sneaking behind the back of another.  I have always been the type of person who puts herself in the other's shoes.  I can't help it - it's who I am.  And having experienced first-hand just how devastating it is to learn that you've been living a lie for years, I cannot pretend to justify hurting someone you are supposed to care about more than anyone else for no other reason than a "desire for variety."  That is simply cruel and lacking of even a basic level of respect.  That's my opinion.  I wouldn't want it done to me and therefore, I can't honestly justify doing it to someone else.  That's all.  

[Admiral C]

49 minutes ago, Danielle Rae said:

I'm sorry if you think my responses are hypocritical.  I am not in a relationship.  I am not lying or sneaking behind the back of another.  I have always been the type of person who puts herself in the other's shoes.  I can't help it - it's who I am.  And having experienced first-hand just how devastating it is to learn that you've been living a lie for years, I cannot pretend to justify hurting someone you are supposed to care about more than anyone else for no other reason than a "desire for variety."  That is simply cruel and lacking of even a basic level of respect.  That's my opinion.  I wouldn't want it done to me and therefore, I can't honestly justify doing it to someone else.  That's all.  

I would'nt worry too much about it. When some folks idealism meets other folks realism, the result is inevitably some kind of cross ways mental cluster fuck. Shrug.

[Bora Bora]

A contribution from philosophy.

The morality of an act can only be judge combining three aspects:

1. The Object or thing in itself: what is the act being done? In this case, cheating.

2. The End or intention: why you are doing that thing? It could be for noble reasons or simple stupidity.

3. The circumstances: Other problems related, for example: The wife has serious mental and physical disabilities.

Example: Single mother, very poor, living in misery. She has a newborn baby. She doesn't have milk nor money to buy formula. She is desperate and the baby is weak. She goes into a supermarket and steals formula to feed her baby. 

The Object: stealing. The End: life of the baby. Circumstances: poor woman. In this case, the act of stealing is essentially good.

Conclusion: Stealing might not be essentially a bad act. In the same way Cheating might not be essentially a bad thing, but the combination of Object, End and Circumstances have to be the right one to make it essentially not bad. Sadly, this not necessarily avoids hurting other people.

[gr8owl]

23 hours ago, Don John said:

 

And why in the holy HECK didn’t you post Layla ? I mean, if you have to post, put up something on point, dude! Now Layla, that’s some relevant ancient boomer stuff there about the worst kinda cheating you can do. 

 

Now that you have had time to think about it, I posted All Along the Watchtower" because I thought this applied:

There must be some way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief
Businessmen, they drink my wine
Plowmen dig my earth
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth

No reason to get excited,the thief, he kindly spoke
There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late

You have listened to the lyrics, right?